2006 In Review

I just realized I hadn't written my 2006 in review.

In 2006:

1. left a job that was really unhealthy for me
2. made a commitment to myself that I was going to re-enter the world of screen writing, and got a job teaching screen writing at a local college.
3. realized how fortunate I am really am in life - my husband, my career, my talents, my family, my friends
4. reconnected with a friend who I'd had a falling out with almost 7 years ago
5. maintained long-term connections with long-distance friends Vix, Rachee, Mr. Club, Melizza
6. remembered some of my early influences re: fantasy and sci fi, started watching and reading those works again
7. became addicted to the new Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, and to a lesser degree, Torchwood
8. realized new levels to which my experiences living abroad had affected me as a person
9. all of the above have been instrumental in my dedication as a writer.
10. visiting my hometown and connecting with the old places of power

For 2007:

1. My identity: i am a writer; I will succeed as a writer in the world
2. My marriage: being grateful for what I have and who I can be in this marriage
3. My body: being healthy - walking, dancing, eating 3 squares a day
4. Being thankful for what I have; making the best of what I have rather than complaining about what I don't have or THINK I don't have
5. Do more traveling - domestic/international

*BEEP* In A Box

This was on SNL a couple weeks ago and I laughed til I cried. Yo.

Justin Timberlake...In A Box

Christmas Photos

Disturbing the Dead

I'm on my brother's chat site and just found out that the town we grew up in (where he still lives) is considering an option to tear down three houses to make a parkway. One of those houses is the one in which we grew up.

I am horrified at the prospect of this demolition. My father and mother bought that place when it was still unfinished, and my dad made it into a little palace. In my visit back in October I took all those pictures inside and noted how little the present owners had changed the place since they moved in back in 1978. Imagine if all that were to be crushed and destroyed. Our pets in the back yard (well, the dust of them at any rate), not to mention all the trees (what's left of what was once a bird sanctuary decades ago). It will be a sad day, a tragic day, and I can only pray it never happens.

The town of Rockland, MA was at one time a flourishing town about halfway between Boston and Cape Cod, off Route 3 on the South Shore. Today it's financially broke and the downtown seems as empty as any mid-western former metropolis. Very similar to Elmira, NY, my other "hometown" if you can call it that.

What is wrong with people?

Gathering Speed

Yesterday Bizarro and I lay around in our pajamas all day, eating leftovers and watching sci fi like the geeks that we are. Specifically, we watched 6 episodes of "Torchwood" he'd downloaded, as well as the Doctor Who Christmas Special, and a few episodes of "Chef" (I bought him the 3-series DVD set for Christmas).

Today I did some shopping - all the 50% off shit for next year - plus a couple things I needed around the house (a cutting board and some picture frames). I think I'm going to visit some friends on Friday, so tomorrow I need to get to the office, pick up my check, and use the copier for my student loan income contingent forms. Yay. Having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. Tomorrow I really need to set aside a large block of time to do some writing.

My nose is fracking cold. It's fracking cold in this apt.

Photos coming soon, Promise. In the meantime, be sure to check out Brave Humans (see link on the sidebar).

Family Way

Check it out :
Owen Angelo.

Voices

...no, not the ones in my head.

Some friends of mine have a really cool site going, called BRAVE HUMANS. I don't think it's public, yet. Just tried posting the URL and it didn't come up. When it is, I'll link to it in the sidebar. So keep checking back!

The Day After

Another Christmas behind us. You know what? This has without doubt been the best holiday in over 20 years for me. Since dad died (when I was 11), Christmas has always been a very bitter-sweet affair. More bitter than sweet. I've gone through the motions year after year without feeling much of anything other than loss and sadness. Last year wasn't so bad, but this year was truly a time for accepting peace into my heart.

I am so grateful for everything in my life - my passions, my work, my family, friends, and of course Dharma. My health, my sense of humor, my resilience. My husband's love and warmth, his support and HIS sense of humor. My mom - having a relationship with her now that was never possible when I was younger. Having her here with us is a true blessing.

I'm planning a recap of 2006 as we wind down the year, just as I did for 2005. Also, pictures from Christmas at Momazoo's are forthcoming. Right now it's 7:36; I've been up since 5:00.

Weather outside: raining and dreary. Weather inside: warm and contented.

Cruise Control

After the heinous 2 weeks I just suffered through, I am taking it easy today. It's shitty and rainy out anyway, so what better time to sleep in, read a book and let my body and mind decompress. The only thing I may do later is some of Bizarro's laundry, since yesterday I finished all of mine, plus sheets and towels. Whew!

I keep thinking, if it's this bad with only two of us, imagine what having a youngster will do to the laundry situation. And that's JUST the laundry situation. Imagine all the other unimaginable tasks and the volume of housework that will increase tenfold. What was that about taking it easy today? Now is not the time to worry about this stuff, I'm sure.

I did all my errands yesterday, thank gods. I'm all set to bake pumpkin PAH (filling from scratch, pre-made crust) and all the other goodies for Christmas weekend at MZ's.

We'll be driving down on Christmas Eve day and staying over. There's midnight mass and then opening presents afterward, then eating sausage and angel hair spaghetti and oil at like 2 a.m. It's a family tradition - a hold over from the days when you couldn't eat anything for a certain number of hours before taking Holy Communion. So they wouldn't eat dinner, to go to Midnight Mass, and then would do all the festivities just after mass, complete with dinner at 2 a.m. Then on Christmas morning, sleep in and let the kiddies get up at the crack of dawn to play with their toys (already opened after mass).

I LOVED it when I was a kid. The grown-ups would go to midnight mass and I'd stay home and sleep (someone stayed home with me), then someone (usually my sister-in-law) would get me up when they all came home and it was Christmas! The tree was lit, Christmas music playing, and everyone was there - my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, sometimes friends of my parents, or my sister-in-law's family, and for a couple of years, my Uncle Louie. It was a wonderful party in the middle of the night - SO exciting for me as a kid. I still revert to being 9 years old when it comes to Christmas Eve. Even though mom doesn't have a proper tree any more, her apartment is decorated (by yours truly) and will be filled with love.

Funny how much I still get into Christmas, seeing as how I'm a Buddhist. But you know, Christmas doesn't have to be about a person (i.e. Jesus), even though I do recognize Jesus as a master and teacher. It's what the spirit is supposed to entail - compassion, love and the coming of the light (Solstice was of course the pagan timing chosen by the early Church on which to hold Christmas).

And with that, I will return to my lazy day. Congrats to Mr. Club and Hot Mamba, enjoying the holidays in their swanky new pad!

Vindication!

It's on! I have my two sections next semester. Seems that they are in fact held to the contract signed by both myself and the dean. Imagine if I had not made a fuss about this! I would have been screwed.

Too bad I'm not feeling well - a bit of a stomach bug it turns out. I'm going to lay low for a couple days so I feel better for Christmas at Momazoos.

Happy Holidays, y'all!

Nail Biting

I'm waiting for confirmation from someone in the dean's office in charge of contracts to find out if the news is true. The Registrar's on-line info says the section is there... but until I have official word that it's happening, I'm trying (unsuccessfully) to reign in my wild enthusiasm.

In the meantime, I'm getting things done that I've been neglecting (like laundry) because I've been feeling really depressed the last week or so. I am also still going to apply for the couple of full-time positions, and maybe even adjunct pools, that I found at a couple neighboring schools for next year. I'd love to stay where I am long-term, but I can't see myself going through this kind of B.S. every other semester (assuming this happens with any regularity).

We'll see... my faith in the Universe and my own resilience is restored. For now.

Emperor's New Clothes

I'm startin' ta dig Blogger's new look. If only I could change my wardrobe as easily!

Plan for next week: write like a muther, watch movies rabidly, do little to no housework.
Narrow down my new year's resolutions. The key to new year's resolutions is to pick at least one thing you KNOW you can achieve without a vast amount of effort. So at least when 2008 comes around it's almost guaranteed that you'll have one thing crossed off the list.

My apt. is freezing. I remember why I hate winter...

A Buddhist Christmas Miracle?

tonight i received an email from my mentor at work. she said she'd heard from the dept secretary that my 2nd section has been REOPENED. this is the first i've heard of it, but that's not too surprising when you consider how I found out the section was canceled. anyway, I don't know if it's for real or a misunderstood comment dropped by accident in the hallway. i will know for sure tomorrow.

oh please goddess!

Getting a Grip

It's occurred to me that it might not be feasible for me to work in Ithaca in the long-term. It's possible that I might have to go elsewhere to find longer-term work with a bit more stability. This isn't something I'm excited about, but I am trying to be realistic as I am once again faced with a job search in a state that is famous for not having a lot of jobs up for grabs outside of NYC. The interesting thing is that I've actually found a few jobs I might be qualified for. Question is now, do I have the energy to write all those frackin' cover letters and actually go through with it.

Perhaps I should allow myself the R&R of Christmas break and just forget about the entire thing until after the new year. Perhaps.

Today I finished with the last of my classes. We screened "Withnail and I" and I have successfully turned on another generation to this cult classic. Mission accomplished!

After a couple days of debating, I decided to make an appointment to speak with the Dean of the school about my situation. I go in on Friday, which works out well since I have to go pick up my check that day, anyway. I have a couple days to work out what I want to say and how I will say it. Don't worry, I'm not going in guns blazing. If nothing else, last year's debacle taught me how to maintain composure and work around the system when necessary. But after a lot of soul-searching, I keep coming to the same conclusion, which is that someone needs to know that what's been done to me is both unprofessional and inhumane. I know it won't get me anywhere, but I feel that right now I'm the mouthpiece for this. Perhaps if this is drawn to someone's attention in an overt (albeit polite) manner, something might be changed for the future. or not. At the least, it will allow me to feel like I have released a pressure valve by speaking up for myself. I'm tired of getting shat on by politics and egos.

I still don't know what I'm doing for money after January. At this point the only real hope is tutoring, but even so, that won't make as much money as I've lost. That other writing gig seems to have fallen through the cracks, seeing as how the director of that program didn't bother to write back. What is with these fuckers in academia? Do they think they shit gold turds and therefore don't have to muck about with us lowly peons?

As you can see, I'm still pretty cheesed off. Some days I'm almost at the point of making my peace, but then I spend 3-4 hours in the department and can only think about how much less time I'll be spending there next semester.

*sigh*

Well at least it's winter break. I just have to get my grades in and get my books and DVDs reserved for next semester. I'm going to do all that this week so I can put it all out of my head for a couple weeks.

It's Christmas this weekend - hopefully after my visit to the Dean I will be able to sleep better and actually enjoy myself a little bit.

Friday Follow up

Given the extent of this week's emotional roller coaster, I thought I'd post a few more residual thoughts that continue to grind through the mill.

Today I'm back to being pissed off at next semester. At this point it's not about feeling betrayed or even disrespected. It's about what a mammoth PAIN IN THE ASS it is and will be for me to find something to supplement my halved income.

I've already got some tutoring coming in, which is grand, but I'll have to work up to the amount of hours per week/month to make enough. Meantime, I've already contracted to buy a hard drive from a coworker ($75) and I've asked a student to type something for me (my thesis script, which appears to exist nowhere electronically since my zip drive and the disk it was reading at the time was fried last spring). So I gotta pay her something, which is necessary, but again... the timing sucks. But I guess the timing always sucks for stuff like this.

What I'm mainly pissed about is the Pain In The Ass Quality (PITAQ) of the situation. This, too, I'll get over. But for now it's where I am.

Perspective

I think part of what was going on for me in the last two weeks was feeling "a disturbance in the force." My good friend ended up in the hospital with a life-threatening situation. Then a week later I find myself facing financial straights yet again.

The good news is that my friend is recovering at home, and I am facing down the current challenge with as much composure as I can muster. I have started exercising again (after torquing my knee 2 weeks ago in T'ai Chi class), and I am doing well with the 3-meals a day routine (although I did fall off the wagon when I baked cookies the other night).

All my holiday shopping, shipping and decorating is done. I have to grade student scripts and maybe do a little tutoring if that comes to fruition in the next week. And then it's Christmas with Momazoo.

It's all about perspective and trust that the Universe is giving us everything we need in every moment - even if it's a painful lesson or an uncomfortable situation.

May All Beings Benefit!

On My Toes

Life is keeping me on my toes, as they say. Recap of the week thus far:

1. Last weekend spend some QT with my friend The White Witch. Had a great time with her at her house in the middle of nowhere, NY.
2. Came home Sunday night and crashed from lack of sleep.
3. Woke up Monday morning to an email from my Chair saying that they have canceled one of my sections for next semester. (This in effect halves my salary.)
4. Promptly after picking up this email, the internet went out and I spent an hour on the phone with three people at the internet provider place to figure out what the hell was going on. Finally did get it straightened out (DNS error).
5. Proceeded to freak out as soon as the internet crisis was over. Had enough presence of mind to go into damage-control mode and immediately started casting the net for any last-minute adjunct/instructor/lecturer jobs for Spring semester.
6. Came up dry for next semester but did find a full-time tenure track position for next year at a local 2-year school which is actually quite reputable among NYS 2-year schools.
7. Got an email at 9:00 at night from someone I'd emailed earlier in the day. I met her while I was on the Big Red campus last year and we'd hit it off. They are looking for an instructor to teach one section of developmental writing in the Spring. I immediately emailed the director of that program and offered my services. Apparently, they'd been trying to contact me last week.
8. Didn't hear from said director until Wed. They'd prefer to fill the position with someone who already has an appointment at the university. I heard back from my friend who filled in the gaps in his email to say that he'd offered the position to someone already on campus, but he was waiting to hear back from that person. If they turn it down, it's mine.

So I'm waiting.

On Monday I was in shock and panic. Tuesday and a good part of Wednesday I was raging against the machine. Then after speaking with another part-timer like myself and my mentor there at the college, I realized that there was nothing to take personally. It was most likely a monetary decision, and adjuncts routinely get the short end of the stick in situations like these. The "low enrollment" which was the official reason didn't really hold any water, and we all know that. If they'd kept the section open, more students would have added between now and the spring, even if it wasn't full to capacity.

What I came to realize yesterday afternoon is that I should be thankful that this happened when and how it did, for it has forced me to evaluate whether I want to continue a life of "academic temping" which is what life as an adjunct is really like. No benefits, no stability, no respect. Yes, it's great to fill in the gaps and make some money, but do I want to make a career out of it? Not really.

I'll do what I gotta to pay the bills, but I also have to look for a more permanent arrangement. There are benefits to working part time, as long as the work is steady. I enjoy having time to write and do other projects, but at the same time, it would be nice not to have to worry about whether I can make student loan payments in 6 months.

I have introduced myself as an ESL tutor on an international student listserv here, and already I've had a couple bites. I'm learning quickly to stick up for my rates and my standards, however. All good learning experiences!

Tomorrow night we're having a few people over for a holiday potluck. I'm glad, esp. since the week got off to a very rocky start. It'll be good to have the comfort and joy of good friends.

Thanks to JEB out in Boston for her words of wisdom. Extra special hugs and thanks to Bizarro for being a tremendous support and font of love and TLC this week!

Coming Down... or Up

Thankfully I've gotten over myself from this afternoon. Still some issues I need to work on resolving here, but my attitude is much-adjusted after an afternoon with Pam and some healthy womyn spirit. Ha ha ha! Seriously, sometimes you just need to hang with your girlfriend. Yes, I realize all the guys reading this are entertaining lude thoughts, but it ain't my fault your brains are in your pants. :P

Wednesday Muck

It's been a rough week, and it's only Wednesday. The thing is, nothing major has happened, but there are a number of smaller crises and on-going stressors that have piled up. I am currently being treated for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I know that's not all that's going on. There are some changes that need to happen in and around my life, and I'm finding it less than smooth sailing to make those changes.

1. The TCM doctor has told me I have hypoglycemia and must only eat three solid meals a day rather than 6 smaller meals. This is hard for me - I feel hungry and light-headed all the time.

2. TCM doctor also told me I have to exercise at least 40 minutes (30 is just a warm-up) 3 x's a week. YEAH, RIGHT.

3. My PCP doctor says I have no reflexes in my legs so now we're all worried about my thyroid (mom has hypothyroid disease) so I have to get a blood test for that (and will also confirm hypoglycemia diagnosis from TCM Dr.).

My house is a mess, I don't have the time to clean clean clean on top of my professional responsiblities, not to mention my writing.

Somehow, my writing always takes a back seat to everything else. On those occasions I DO make writing a priority, it takes less than a day for everything else to slide into oblivion and the stress cycle starts all over again.

I can never seem to get a handle on all the shit I have to accomplish day to day, and then I start to stress out even more when other people around me aren't able to manage their shit, too. Makes me want to crawl into a hole and not take any phonecalls or any visits.

And of course, it's the holiday season, which traditionally for me has sucked royal ass. This time of year has always served to remind me of loss and pain, and it doesn't help that somehow I always end up in financial crisis about this time of year. Luckily, that didnt happen this year, quite (but it almost did).

Last Sunday I spent with mom, which was fine, but she'd made plans to go to the cemetary to visit dad's grave without asking me. It was planned out and I had no choice but to take us there. I wasn't emotionally prepared for it, and I had to really struggle to maintain my decorum so as not to upset mom.

Fuck it. I'm going to my friend Judy's house this weekend for a little R&R away from all this hideousness (that was a deliberate overstatement, quoting from our favorite movie, "Withnail and I"). It's not really hideous at all, but I do need a break and a bit of a retreat.

Only one more week of class after this; one more round of student scripts to read. I need to make a plan for how I'm going to spend my Winter Break - nurturing myself and getting myself some strategies and healthy alternatives to being an insomniac.

On the bright side, I put up the Christmas tree Saturday evening and it is really pretty. I am going to hang out with my friend Pamela today for a little while before she heads off to parts known and unknown for the Winter Break. I am going to see my friends Judy and Sam this weekend, whom I only get to see a couple times a year. I have invited other friends over next Friday for a little holiday celebration. All these things I do to celebrate my friendships and positive aspects of my life, rather than focussing too much on all the people and things I think I don't have.

Back to Basics

Back in over-cast Ithaca after a smooth trip from Cleveland yesterday. Bizarro dragged our collective butts out of bed yesterday at 5:30 in the a.m. to hit the road by 6:30. I napped yesterday afternoon and got out some Christmas decorations. Slept late this morning and am feeling pretty groggy. I should go for a walk.

On tap for today: 1. Grade my students' work 2. keep revising my screenplay 3. exercise of some sort

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm going to see a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) doctor later this week to see about my allergies and fatigue.

Bizarro made a suggestion about moving his side of the office out into the living room, sort of bisecting the space we have the futon in right now. I'm all for it because I can move my desk to a better location in the office and we can set up a reading corner with bookshelves and a lamp. I'm all about the Feng Shui, baby.

Kay, back to work with me.

Sunlight All Around Me!

Bizarro and I are sitting in the Arabica coffee house down by University Circle. Tis a gorgeous, sunny day and I am very content sitting in the sunroom at the back. Wish we had a place like this in Ithaca! Their coffee is only marginal, but the space is lovely with bright windows, dark wood trim and wooden floors. The building itself has the whole tutor-thing going on outside, and I'd guess this was built sometime in the 20s. *sigh* I could stay here all day.

The trip has been pretty delightful, so far. More relaxing than any other stay we've had here before. I helped cook a lot of Thanksgiving dinner and I know that meant a lot to my mother-in-law.

Yesterday we went bonkers with Black Friday shopping. First time I've ever done that, BTW. We first went to Kohl's, and had to wait in line almost an hour. Somehow it didn't bother me - the sales we were getting, the cool gimmicky stuff in the kiosks that kept us entertained, and the general upbeat attitude of those around us kept me feeling alright. We also went to Microcenter and I got a couple nifty things for my workstation at home, and of course we hit the Half Price Books (LOVE the bargain shelves). We also met my friend Pat at the Chipotle that's in Legacy Village (of the Damned). Legacy Village is a smaller version of Easton. I have plenty to comment on there but I dont' feel like getting socio-political right now. Anyway, Bizarro bought some new shooz there, to complete our rise to the next tax bracket status. To keep it real, today I want to go to Marshall's to find a black courderouy jacket. These are all stores we don't have in NY, so it's a real treat to go shopping.

Now we have to tighten our belts, though. I have all the Xmas presents bought except for one more thing for Bizarro, and the holiday cards to send out.

Best of all, I've even managed to do some revising on my screenplay while I've been here. More of that to come today as I sit here bathed in warm sunlight on this delightful day.

B - thanks for your call! I'll call when we're back in NY and I've caught my breath.

Gobble Gobble!

Day before T'giving! We're gonna be hittin' the road to Cleveland later today. Bizarro has to work until 5:30, then I'm picking him up and we're on our way.

I'm starting my day very atypically - watching the Today show. It's good to see some happy people for a change (as opposed to listening to NPR).

Yesterday I spent most of the day with Mom in Elmira. Bought her a cashmere winter coat and helped put up some Christmas decorations, and we had an early T'giving meal together. What a lovely day! I also took her to the doctor's, where she got a mostly-clean bill of health (for her). Her blood pressure was normal, thankfully. She's going to be with her brother and sister-in-law for T'giving tomorrow.

I'll try to post on Friday - I'm sure Bizarro will be chomping at the bit to get out of the house. I get to watch Battlestar Galactica on SciFi instead of downloading on iTunes this week! Woo hoo! Hopefullly I can also catch Most Haunted ("Worst Haunted").

Happy Thanksgiving!

My own, personal Jesus....Toast

Not a good day. Not a bad day. Not a good day.

Just... a day.

Here's how to make your own miracle in the comfort of your kitchen.

Winds of Change

Went out and bought a proper desk chair for my home office, finally. I'd been using a waiting room chair for months and was always having back aches sitting for more than a few minutes here.

Also agreed to pay $75 for an external drive so I can edit video. My Korean documentarian friend is selling his older drives as he's replaced them with a new system.

Everything is going according to plan.

As I said yesterday, I've come into a new burst of clarity and focus. So far this is Day 3 of accomplishing what I feel is necessary per diem, and Day 3 of vegetarian life. I even went to the workout room last night and did 30 minutes of cardio.

Right now I need to get back to revising my script. Here's to the winds of change!

A New Wind

There's something different blowin' through my life right now. A bit more focus and clarity, enabling me to be more proactive in doing things I've known that I ought to be doing but wasn't doing. (Now there is some wacked-out tense & aspect that I can't possibly name.) A lot of this change is health-related.

As of yesterday, I've gone back to being vegetarian. I was feeling run-down, tired and sleepy and altogether too listless to get anything done. When I went vegetarian the first time, almost ten years ago, I experienced a sharp rise in my energy and less napping. At the least, it's a cleansing. Of course, I'll have to eat turkey on T'giving because we'll be at the Bizarros in Cleveland, and you can't not eat meat at a Filipino T'giving dinner. ;) I am going to be making my cranberry and sweet potato casserole, as a side-dish.

I've also decided to consult a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner, in addition to my primary care doc, later this month. I am taking my own advice in that, too, which is a story for another time. Meantime, Bizarro and I will be investing in an air purifier, which should help us with our allergy symptoms. I certainly hope so.

Right now I have to get to a Global Nomad meeting. More later.

New Hotness (again)

Yes, friends, I'm typing this post on my new MacBook Pro which looks and feels like the G4 Powerbook I used at the Big Red Barn on the Hill last year. But it's badder, faster, meaner and much cooler. And needless to say, it kicks the sh&t out of the MacBook which will be on its way back to Crapple tomorrow.

I had a glorious weekend in NYC two weeks ago, visiting Scotto and his wife. The intervening time has been spent trying not to get sick again, and grading scripts (gotta hand them back tomorrow).

One distressing note: I had to write an "intervention letter" to a friend of mine who is all wrapped up in selling very over-priced "goji" (actually in Chinese, gou qi) juice with a multi-level marketing company. I've been feeling more like a marketing target than a friend lately, and then when I finally found out how much the juice really is (an unbelievable $35-$40 a bottle) I had to say something to her. Not only is the friendship strained, but I'm concerned for her involvement in this company. So anyway I emailed the letter as an attachment yesterday and am still waiting for a response.

So much drama! I have to check the chicken in the oven. Smells deeeee-licious!

New Eyes

I've spent the weekend in The Big Apple visiting a good friend of mine from film school at RIT and his wife. Took in a spooky puppet show and had a massive walking tour of Manhattan today. We were going to do the Circle Line but it was too damned windy. The bus ride down was 5 hours and easy as pie - no excuse not to come on down at least once a year.

This weekend has given me a much-needed break from the rut I've been in lately. I had an epiphany yesterday when I pulled a major arcana card from my friend's tarot deck and got the World in reversed position. In essence, what I need to do is let go of my obsession with the Korea job (will it happen or not?) because I've been put everything else in a holding pattern without realizing it. Plus, the issues with my computer seem to be on the verge of resolution (I am getting a MacBook Pro as a replacement for the MacBook piece of garbage, at an addition cost of only $200). I have been without a computer, or a fully functioning computer, for almost a month, now, and it has really depressed me.

SO - here's the plan: get on a schedule those two days a week I'm not at I.C. and get my other latent projects up and running. Especially my need for a second job come Jan. 2007: tutoring and writing to earn some extra casssssshhhhh.

I miss Bizarro somethin' fierce. I love traveling but I don't enjoy myself as much as when I'm with him. Next time he's coming with me to NY or Boston (whichever comes first).

And now, a much-needed shower.

Myserious and Spooky

Happy Friday the 13th! Tonight I want to see Ghost Whisperer because it promises to be spookier than usual, but my huzzbinnd of course wants to watch Monarch of the Glen. So far I've missed most of GW this season, acquiescing to the Scottish soap opera. Don't get me wrong, I like MotG, but I want to see some scary sh*t tonight.

Speaking of scary sh*t, The Grudge 2 comes out this weekend. Yes! Maybe I'll go see it next Friday at a matinee, since we have the day off for Fall Break.

Today's task is to get out the winter clothes and do some laundry. Other than that, I'm still feeling under-the-weather and won't be exerting much effort.

Still waiting to hear about the job going to Korea...

I think I'm going to bug out of here early. No one is coming by on a Friday afternoon.

Here's some scary sh*t to look at .

Exhaustified

When I got up this morning, I had no idea I'd end the day with a new china cabinet in the dining room. After doing my office hour today, I went out to just price china cabinets, both used and new. I drove all the way out to the used furniture place we've bought from before, only to find the building closed up tight as a drum and not a stick of furniture in the entire place. Bummed, I drove back down 96 and decided to check out the antique mall that I've driven past so many times. I walked in and within 5 minutes I found the perfect china cabinet - and it was only $125. The owner knocked off 10% since the delivery fee was $50. So all totalled with tax, I bought a c. 1930s mahogany china cabinet for $170. I feel like an adult, now.

The china set that Bizarro's parents gave us for our wedding present is finally out of the box. Unfortunately, 3 of the dinner plates were broken. Not too bad considering the box has been sitting around for 30-some years waiting for him to get married. Still, that was a disappointment.

My brother had also given me the family silver coffee/tea service (finally, I've been coveting that for years). It was dark brown with tarnish, but I polished it up and it now resides proudly in the china cabinet.

So now I'm totally exhaustified, from shifting around the furniture to make space and all the cleaning that goes with it. Whipped up a delicious baked chicken and vegetables and some risotto. Mmmmmmm. Ready for bed soon, though.

Here's to another day in the life. Damn, I wish I had my computer back.

3 Days

This concludes my three days in Rockland, Mass. It's been a whirlwind tour, and I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally. Doing this on the tail end of a nasty cold was a challenge, but I'm really glad I decided to buck up and drive out here.

Between seeing my beautiful grand nephew and reconnecting with my childhood friend, it has been an emotional trip. A new relationship and a renewed one. Then this evening we had dinner with a different childhood friend of mine and his family who have known me since I was a wee bairn. We also stopped by the house I grew up in and my brother, who already had most of a 12-pack in him, invited ourselves in. They haven't changed single thing on the inside or the outside of the house, so it was very strange to see flashbacks of my childhood. Actually I think the flooring in the kitchen/dining room and the basement are the only things different. Even the venetian blinds and the bedroom shades are the same. Yup.

So tomorrow I hit the road for NY around 10 a.m. Gonna try to do some grading in the morning. Blarg. Bizarro is still sick, poor thing. I can't wait to snuggle in front of the fire tomorrow night. It'll be good to sleep in my own bed, again.

Greetings from Rockland, MA

I'm spending the weekend in the land I was born, hangin' with my family and friends. In a little while, I am going to meet up with a childhood friend with whom I had a falling out about 6 years ago. I decided I wanted to reach out, even though I was totally unsure of how she would respond. I saw her car in her mom's driveway yesterday afternoon, and then when we got back to the house I gave her a call there. She sounded pleased to hear from me and voila. I am excited and nervous. I hope things go well. I think they will.

The rest of the trip has been very nice. I left Ithaca at 5:30 a.m. and got in here just at the strike of twelve noon. Easy traffic but my god, the Evil Dead fog in NYS lingered until well after the sun was up. I was still driving in and out of cloud banks at around 8:30. Today is sunny and should be in the 70s, and I'm looking forward to going over my nephew and niece's house for Sunday sgetti dinner - and to see the baby!

P.S. I'm typing this on my brother's G4 Power Book and I really REALLY wish I'd bought one of these instead of the MacBook which i've had to send back to Apple to have the keyboard replaced. This thing runs faster than the MacBook and the Macbook was advertised as running faster than the G4. Really steams my buns. >:|

Sick Bed

I'm sick. Poo! Came down with it on Thursday and suffered through yesterday. Today's been a total wash and I'm afraid I won't be okay to go to mom's for dinner tomorrow. I think Bizarro's coming down with something, too. I guess it's better this weekend then next since I'm supposed to be going to Massachusetts to visit the fam next weekend.

"It feels like a pig shat in my head." -- Withnail from Withnail and I

Snuffles

Seems the Fall Sickness is in the air. Everyone around me is dropping like flies with this cold and that virus. There have even been cases of Whooping Cough reported in town. Ugh! Bring on the Vitamin C and Zinc!

Teaching is going very well, very well indeed. I went on my first professional shoot in about 4-5 years on Monday and it was fantastic. Good thing, too, because I got the bad news on Monday that I missed the boat on going to Korea this winter as a chaperone for a student group. But there's another group that might be going this summer and one of my colleagues is helping me get in line for that.

I have some other possible, burgeoning news but I'm not sayin' nuthin' until the results are in. I love a good mystery, don't you?

Office hours are almost over for today. I only got 6 hours' sleep last night so I'm going home for a nap. Tonight I'm checking out a new T'ai Chi class. I hope he teaches the same Yang form I know.

That is all.

The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But?

Yesterday I watched some of the 9/11 memorial programs on T.V. I was appalled at the amount of Bush-bashing that went on. Not that he's not worth bashing now and then, but on that day, our energies should have been about memorializing the heroes and the victims. Politicians on both sides of the aisle spend every day 365 blaming each other. It would have been nice to have one day of rememberance without the politicking. But mid-term elections are around the corner, so what do you expect?

This article rambles on about how the Intelligence Committee has determined that the Bush Administration acted on faulty intel to get us into the Iraq War. The very last sentence of the piece is, in my mind, the most important part, and of course it's buried. It says, "A second part of the report finds that false information from the Iraqi National Congress, an anti-Saddam group led by then-exile Ahmed Chalabi, was used to support key intelligence community assessments on Iraq." (Jim Abrams, Assoc. Press, 9/9/06, retrieved from http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060909/ap_on_go_co/iraq_report_43 on 9/12/06.)

Clearly, the faulty intel was provided to the U.S. by Saddam's political enemies in his own country. They weren't dumb; they knew that if given a wisp of cause to topple Saddam, Bush would go in guns blazing. He did their dirty work for them, in essence.

Don't get me wrong - Saddam is/was a bastard and I'm sure the world is a better place without him in power. However, that was not supposed to be the reason we went in. That is being used as a post-fcuk up justification on the part of the Bush Administration. The fact that Saddam avoided working with al-Qaida speaks to his huge ego and power-hungry regime, but more importantly, it also tells us that we went after the wrong man.

Osama bin Laden is still out there, five years later.

Home Sweet Home

I haven't stopped playing this since I first opened the link about 35 minutes ago. I'm drowning in sweet tears and laughter. Next month I will meet him in person and I can't wait a moment longer.

Introducing... Owen Angelo Cambio

What's in a Name?

Opinion/ Commentary on the article cited below.

Bush Zeroes in on Islamic Fascism
Citation: (AFP, Olivier Knox Sat Sep 2, 12:46 PM ET. Retrieved 9/2/06 from News.Yahoo.com)


A while ago I posted a long-winded critique of the use of the term "Islamo-fascist" to discuss terrorists who claim to be on a jihad. I supported the use of the term "fascists" and also suggested that "jihadists" might be a more accurate term than "Islamo-fascist." Well here’s another long-winded extension of that discussion.

In August, the Prez stated that "This nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom, to hurt our nation..." He came under fire for that comment from a prominent US Muslim group, which declared it only swelled anti-Muslim sentiments, as well as from Saudi Arabia, where the cabinet declared "terrorism has no religion or nationality." His administration supports the term “Islamic fascists” because "The term succinctly encapsulates that idea rather better than 'the war against radical extremists who have a twisted interpretation of Islam.' It's a shorthand way of saying that."

After reading this article I was prompted to reexamine the term “fascist” and assess whether it really is an accurate portrayal of our enemies. Is all this talk of what to call our enemies pointless? Perhaps not. Bear with me.

In truth, I now question whether “fascist” is the most accurate term. Here’s why:

It would seem that the term "fascist" has itself been overused since WWII, generally applied to any form of authoritarian government. It is more accurately defined as a dictatorial, single-party government that denies rights of speech, religion or protest. Fascism has its famous roots in Italy, where it became a formal movement in 1919, and then Benito Mussolini's power base in 1922.

Fascism is a form of government. These extremists are not a government, they are a terrorist organization. Although they seek to carry out an agenda that will wipe all Westerners and non-believers from the face of the earth, they are at present operating under the law. By calling them “fascists,” aren’t we actually handing them a form of legitimacy that they don’t deserve? We’re acknowledging them as a form of government, a form of law, when in reality they are far below any international or domestic laws. They are, simply, terrorists. Fine if you want to remove all references to their religion, but they remain the dregs of the international community: extremist, hate-driven terrorists. Period.

By telling the world that we are fighting fascists, the most evil of all ideologies, Bush hopes to re-sell the war to the public with only a few weeks to the elections. “Fascism” has replaced “Communism” (which is itself an ideology that incorporates fascism) as the thing to be feared most by Americans. And, it is being used to sell a war whose beginnings have been made murky by the media and the Bush Administration.

It is maddening that the Republican party wants to try to hold onto its majority in Congress by scaring the American public into believing that unless we have Republicans at the helm, we will be taken over by fascists. It’s the Red Menace all over again, only this time with Islamic fascists, that is. It’s political maneuvering, and it stinks to high heaven. How about the naked truth, instead: these terrorists want to kill every last one of us and destroy our way of life. We need to work hand-in-hand with the rest of the world to root them out and lock ‘em up. Let’s not give them the legitimacy of calling them fascists. They should remain below the contempt of every civilized human being, and they should be brought to justice as criminals, not as leaders of government.

By tapping into our old fears, which certainly worked like a charm during the Cold War, Bush and his party are attempting to manipulate our feelings to support their agenda. I, personally, resent this, and so should you.






(AFP, Olivier Knox Sat Sep 2, 12:46 PM ET. Retrieved 9/2/06 from News.Yahoo.com)

Park School Blog

So much for anonymity. Check out the link for the Park School of Communications Blog in the sidebar.

Lovin' It

This has been a fine week. I am feeling really settled into my new environment at work. Yesterday I spent the morning in my office, which I share with five other adjuncts, getting my class list ready and other stuff. I am supposed to share a desk with one person but there's sort of an extra desk that she's taking. Anyway we probably won't be in there at the same times so it's not a big deal. I have a G5 on my desk, which runs like lightning and only reminds me that the MacBook I have at home has been disappointing.

I've met four of my office mates. Two are screenwriting adjuncts like myself, teaching the Advanced class. One person, who lives in Manhattan and is in town for the weekdays, was my "orientation buddy" last week - we hung out while traipsing around to get our IDs and parking permits etc. The other one is my desk mate who seems really cool, too.

Again I must stress, and I know the semester's barely begun, that I feel so at home on that campus. The physicality of it, the energy that's around me. I'm really sensitive to that stuff, you know. Not to sound like a flake, but I do believe that when a large group of people are gathered in a place for an extended period of time, there's like a psychic imprint on that place. A general feeling, nothing specific. My Humanist/Atheist friends will scoff, I'm sure, but this is how I perceive the world. At the last place I worked, I could feel the pressure cooker environment and it had very real, tangible expressions all around me. Here, of course people are busy and frantic and all that, but there's a spirit of "YAY BABY!" like everyone is lovin' their jobs and their work and their study. It feels, for lack of a better term, healthier.

My first classes are tomorrow. It's just the first day of class, syllabus, get to know each other kind of thing. I'm really psyched. A bit nervous, as to be expected, but I am SO happy to be there and I hope my students will be inspired and will learn as much as they can from me and from each other.

I've finally gotten back into "film mode" by renting a slew of flicks and watching them critically. It feels so good! I've also gone back into my notebooks and script pieces from my MFA program (god, was that REALLY 10 years ago?). Of special note, Wong Kar Wai's "Days of Being Wild" and the Korean telling of Dangerous Liasons, titled in English "Untold Scandal." I tried watching "Barton Fink" but the videotape has obviously seen better days and I'll wait til I can get it on DVD.

I guess I've rambled enough for now. I've writing to do.

Good news and MORE good news!

I am officially a Great Aunt! My niece had her baby a month early on Tuesday morning. Welcome, Owen Angelo, even though you won't have a clue who I am for many months. I will be driving to Boson on Fall Break in October to see the new addition to the clan and reconnect with my family (whom I haven't seen since before I went to Korea four years ago).

The other news is simply that today was the last day of the summer program. As always, I finished up in good stead and flying colors, whilst leaving a piece of my mind in the instructor program evaluation/feedback form.

I have two weeks to relax a little and get back into my schedule, also getting things ready to start teaching on Sept. 1.

Here's something to celebrate the auspiciousness of today: Check Out How I'm Prosperin'

Space Rockers!

For anyone old enough to remember...Here is a little ditty to inspire.

ANDROMEDA!
THANK YOU BUCK!

Clash of the Titans

Last night, Bizarro and I had a "date night." The Big Red Barn on the hill was showing the last of their summer movies outside, up against the wall of the museum. The movie was, in case you haven't guessed by now, Clash of the Titans. I hadn't seen this since it first came out when I was 13 years old. Wow, what a treat! The crowd was very appreciative and laughed at the appropriately hokey parts: Posiedon's super imposed tiny figure cranking open the Krakens's prison, the line "Release the Kraken," and of course Harry Hamlin's delivery of this line, when Perseus and company are trying to count their advantages in a tight spot: "We have.... we have a flying horse!"

When I got home I felt light, like I did when I was a girl and I used to watch these kinds of stories. I think it was this movie, in fact, which got me rolling on the mythology and fantasy kick as a teenager and into college. I remember play acting scenes "Clash of the Titans" and making my dingy basement into the Gorgon's lair, complete with swirling lights thanks to an old Christmas tree light - the kind that rotates a multi-colored plastic fan in front of a light bulb. AH, the simpler days of play acting and imagined terrors...

Yesterday morning I went to my T'ai Chi instructor (who's also a counselor and Chi Gung practitioner) for my first Chi Gung session. I'm hoping I can get a handle on some of the issues that have been plaguing me - all of which seem to be interconnected in the perspective of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). According to his diagnosis, my Kidney, Bladder and Liver systems are out of whack. From what I know of TCM, that's how I would have characterized it myself, since certain emotions and areas of the body are connected to each system. Go here if you're interested in TCM.

Better Daze

Just finished my first week in the summer program. It went very well; I rock. I'm a good teacher and I love teaching ESL. It's good to know that even after the fiasco/debacle that was last year, I still love teaching language. HOpefully I will be able to reach this level again with my teaching of screenwriting.

Tonight I'm hangin and just relaxing at home. This morning was a real trip. I was awakened at 6:00 by a serious domestic quarrel next door, complete with screaming, yelling, obscenities, crashes, bangs, and the clear strains of physical abuse. After 45 minutes, I called the cops. They have a 2-year old over there. What else could I do? So after getting the morning off to a rather dismal start, the rest of Friday proceeded smoothly.

Oh, and last night... I was at the mall looking for a last-minute B-day present for a coworker. I stopped into Claires Boutique and while I was grazing, a hippie couple and their 3 year old came in to get the 3 year olds' ears pierced. The mother was ordering the father around like a dog, and she was loudly declaring that the Earring Pagoda in the mall wouldn't do the job, yadda yadda. On my way out, the woman did the girl's one ear and the screeches and sobs followed me all the way down to the Target. This little girl's screams spoke of pain, shock, surprise, but mostly betrayal. I could hear it. "Mom, how could you force this on me? How could you be party to this awful pain?" It was all I could do to hold back my self-righteous indignation and go back there to give the mother an earful. No pun intended.

yes, it's a full moon, alright. Bella luna!

Word

Here is my rather long-winded response to a discussion topic on PJC's blog
Read up on the discussion until this point, then you can navigate back here from his blog :


-------------------------

Of course all words are "made up," but there are words agreed upon as current and valid, and those that are created and used by a minority of certain folks to promote particular ideas, which either fall by the wayside as trite or become a common, accepted part of a language. Words change and meanings change over time, as any cunning linguist knows. However, if you're going to invoke the super-fluidity of language as a means of supporting the use of a term (which doesn't appear in any dictionary) in a public forum to express academic, professional or otherwise sophisticated ideas, you better be ready to accept others’ new interpretations of already accepted words, like MARRIAGE for example.

I gotta be honest - if someone uses a word like Islamofacist, it denigrates the position and reduces the viability of an otherwise well-taken point.

No, I'm not picking nits. Words are our tools, our weapons and our representatives.

BTW: jihad (n.) 1. a holy war against enemies of Islam, undertaken by Muslims as a duty.
2. any fanatical crusade for an ideal or principle.
(www.wordsmyth.com)

ji·had or je·had n
1. a campaign waged by Muslims in defense of the Islamic faith against individuals, organizations, or countries regarded as hostile to Islam
2. any hostile campaign, for example, a series of political advertisements attacking an adversary

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

Clearly, jihad is open to interpretation (what constitutes "hostile" or an "enemy," for instance) depending on one’s agenda and level of brain-washing in an extremist cult. Just like most things (such as passages from the Bible), it can be taken out of context and made to fit a particular agenda of violence and hatred.

Sunny Disposition

I survived my three days of teacher orientation/calibration for the summer intensive program. It wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared it would be. In fact it went pretty well with only a few moments of ruffled feathers on my part, which I got over right quick.

Last night I went out with Pam and we had a good time drinking beers at the Chapterhouse, which has a real pub environment. The evening finished with us playing Legos in my livingroom, watching Glengarry Glen Ross and drinking wine.

Today I am focusing on my creative work, and tomorrow I will do some Dharma study and house cleaning. That's the general plan for the weekend. I also have to get some exercise in, one way or the other.

I'm now one of the editorialists (is that a word?) on P Cambio's blog. It's a scary thing for yours truly, coming head-to-head with other people's opinions, esp. when two or three of them are my family. Good practice, I suppose, in a relatively safe environment.

I am going to seriously give some thought to getting tested for allergies. I have been living with really irritating symptoms all summer and I'm about done with it. I think I've identified two food allergies: pineapple and eggs. Sucks, 'cause I love pineapple. Of course there's also the omnipresent mold in my house that is probably exacerbating it all. I have plans to see my new doctor when the summer program is over and get a referral for allergy testing.

And now I have to stop wasting time and get to the business of writing.

On a more personal note....

That last political post was somewhat in response to my bro's blog (see link to P. Cambio political blog on the sidebar). Those are thoughts that have been rummaging around in my head lately, anyway.

I'm in movie-watching mode in preparation for my job this fall. The other night watched The Business of Fancy Dancing, which is based on the poetry of writer/director Sherman Alexie. Beautiful work reflecting Native American life and issues of love and identity. Also check out Smoke Signals, based on his work and directed by Chris Eyre.

I'm also in reading-mode, since I've finished all the tasks I had scheduled for myself before I go back to work next Wed. I'm reading All The Fishes Come Home to Roost which is a funny and poignant memoir by a woman raised on an ashram in India. The daughter of hippie parents, Rachel Manija Brown tells her story of being a global nomad (although she doesn't use the term, she falls into the description) in India and the U.S. Check it out.

My thoughts on the crisis between Israel and Lebanon

On one hand, I recognize Israel’s right to defend itself against terrorist attacks on its people and land, but on the other hand, I question their methods. Innocent Lebanese people are being killed because Israel wants to eradicate Hezbollah. Hezbollah is not the Lebanese government, nor the majority of its people, from what I understand. The international community should be supporting Israel by demanding that the Lebanese government work in tandem with Israel and other Mid-East states toward routing these terrorists/violent militia members, followed up with the threat of economic sanctions and military sanctions if necessary. This is more or less what the U.S. has tried to do with varying success in Pakistan and other countries in the “War on Terror.” By making it hard for terrorists to have a home, the international community would take a step toward eradicating the terrorists’ power base.

Obviously, a lot of work would have to be done on the international stage to get Arab/Muslim countries like Lebanon to buy into the idea and work together, but pounding the shit out of another Arab state isn’t going to solve anything, either. All it’s done is kill more innocent people and piss off Al Qaida into making a further demand for more killing to wipe out everyone else on the planet. In the meantime the pro-West Arab governments are feeling the pressure and being forced to make difficult choices. Can we stand to lose their support, too? Al Qaida terrorists are the only ones who stand to benefit from this situation.

At the same time, the U.S. has gone hunting for terrorists in other people’s countries by bombing the shit out of them, so why shouldn’t Israel? The U.S. has to back up Israel’s actions now, because not doing so would be the pot calling the kettle black, and even G.W. wouldn’t have the balls to do that in the face of the international community. And let’s face it, the U.S. stands to lose a lot if we do anything that can be construed as turning our backs on Israel.

And what is with this “fake peace” that the President goes on about? What the hell is that? Is there such a thing as “fake war?” Only feels like death and destruction, but it’s really only a police action. Only looks like peace, but really it’s war? Peace has to start somewhere. People and nations have to stop clobbering each other before they can start talks for a lasting peace. Isn’t that just common sense? Isn’t that what you’d tell your kid if he were beating up the kid who vandalized his locker at school? They wouldn’t have to be best friends, but they should learn to tolerate each other. If the kids don’t handle it themselves, you get the authorities involved. Right? Change the behavior, then work on changing the attitude. The attitude will never change if the kid is allowed to act out unchecked.

Enough of the analogy. The Administration keeps talking about needing a lasting peace in the Middle East. Well of course, DUH! But I have yet to hear how they propose doing that without first getting a ceasefire in place. I have a sneaking suspicion that the “lasting peace” Bush speaks of can only be achieved by the complete eradication of all terrorists. How does he plan to do that – just keep bombing the countries where we know the terrorists are hiding and plotting and scheming, regardless of the innocent civilians and infrastructures that are destroyed? What then? Who will our allies be? Perhaps the Middle East will be so broken that the U.S. and Britain will have to swoop in and take control of all that oil. I know, I know, that’s conspiracy fringe-thinking. But the actions of those two men really make me wonder what they’re about.

I am thinking about the IRA in N. Ireland and how so many ceasefires were broken, until finally, one stuck long enough for progress to be made. They were terrorists and although they had some legitimate claims, they used hatred and violence to express themselves. They needed to see that there were other ways of dealing with their situation, and they finally did see this. It was a long process, yet it worked. Has Tony Blair completely forgotten this era of English/Irish negotiations and mutual counter-terrorism work in his desperate support for G.W.? The British people certainly haven’t.

I realize that the situation in the Middle East is far more complex than most people have any clue about, even the arm-chair folks who read up on the stuff. I’m not any kind of a scholar in that area, but I do have common sense. Common sense dictates that human life is more precious than money, oil, saving face, or any other consideration. Common sense says that soldiers know what they’re getting into when they become soldiers. Civilians are innocent. Jihadists don’t recognize the distinction of the sanctity of human life in their twisted version of Islam. How do you get these people to the table? Maybe you don’t. But common sense reminds us that killing innocent civilians in an attack on a sovereign state that is not governed by the terrorists isn’t the answer, either. Peace cannot be achieved through that kind of wanton destruction.

The real road to peace is going to take courage on all sides, and a determination to preserve life. Otherwise, the killing of innocents decries the humanity of the jihadists and defenders, alike. Someone once said “two wrongs don’t make a right.” Here, here.

Merry-Go-Round

Yesterday turned out to be gloriously sunny and cool, so at the last minute I called up MZ and said, "Let's go to the Carousel this afternoon!" MZ and I had made plans to go on Saturday but it rained buckets and anyway, neither of us felt very well on Sat. So I drove down to Elmira with the cooler and my delicious 3-bean salad, and mom and I loaded up the cooler with other comestibles, then drove over to Eldridge Park (see last post for links).

We ate by the waterside, near the newly-restored carousel, and throroughly enjoyed ourselves. There were dragonflies on the water and the breeze was perfect. After eating we walked over to the carousel and bought our tickets! A dollar a ride. That carousel is a thing of beauty, and as soon as I can get photos up here, I will (damned camera). Everything is carved in wood, and the design is a replica of the old merry-go-round from generations past. The music was from the 40s and 50s, instrumental, of course.

MZ sat on the one bench the carousel has, and ended up sharing it with another woman in her 70s. I rode the horse in front of them, taking pictures and trying to remember the last time I was on a merry-go-round. I couldn't help grinning like an idiot. After that ride, MZ sat down on a bench to watch, and I went on again. This time I picked my horse from the map, Hope, which turned out to be a grey mare with roses on her bridle and saddle, and also seemed to be the only one with a real horse-hair tail. Hope was on the inside, so I got to have the full effect of the music blasting from four speakers as I went around them.

I thought about going on a third time, on the outside to catch the ring, but decided I was satiated. There are two kinds of people in life, I decided. Those who sit on the outside, where the horses don't go up and down, and who reach out for the brass ring every time (the go-getters, the folks who prefer Product). Then there are those who ride on the inside, the most beautiful horse that goes up and down, for the sheer enjoyment of the motion, sound, color and experience. I'm one of these, I suppose, who prefer the ride to the destination, the Process. Of course, you could do both, I suppose, ride a few times and experience all of it. But I think what's most telling is the first ride - where one chooses to sit on the Merry-Go-Round.

This was a fast merry-go-round, too. I had to work to keep my butt from sliding out of the saddle, and I was worried the little girl in front of me wasn't going to make it. She couldn't even reach the stirrrups. That's all part of the thrill. It's necessary to get pulled off center a bit, to make you have to pay attention and not just totally space out.

MZ said it was interesting to watch people on the carousel, epecially the older folks (there were all ages), everyone smiling as they went around. You can't help but to smile and grin like a ten year old! And that's exactly how I felt: like I was ten years old again. Everyone needs to be reminded of what it was like to be young, I think.

This just in ... (DUH)

This kills me. The President acts as if he's doing the minorities of this country SUCH a huge favor. Why should this even be a question or something to renew? Why wasn't it just made into a constitutional amendment that would not ever have to be questioned or renewed or tampered with? The fact that it exists as a law/act that must voted on 25 years after its inception to extend the voting rights it provides minorities declares that really, someone is keeping a back door open somewhere. Maybe it's me, but it just doesn't seem as enlightened as it's purported to be. Or, maybe I just don't completely understand politics and the speicific workings of our governmental processes.

Word Up

Now that I'm not going to be doing the on-line tutoring, I am re-opening the file on free lance writing. I've spent the better part of the morning so far going back through my initial contact info list and updating/fleshing it out. While I was checking out a bunch of websites, I found this on-line dictionary/thesaurus published by a company in Ithaca called WordSmyth. I will be adding it to my links. It's very useful for writers, as evidenced by my own search just the other day for specific words relating to "one who decides." I found nothing of use in the databases I came across, but WordSmyth really rocks!

Interestingly enough, there is ANOTHER company in Ithaca called WordSmyth, and I went to their site first, by accident. You can tell from the site design that the company is a bit odd-ish. I remembered doing an interview, oh, say about 15 years ago, with the president of a small ad agency in Ithaca, which I'm 90% sure was this one. He was extremely bizarre and creepy. Somehow the subject of "paranormal" entered the interview and he told me about my "aura" and I remember thinking "ALRIGHTY THEN. Thanks, but no thanks." He wanted to hire me for something like $5.50 and hour and I don't remember the position, probably admin. Eww. I'm surprised he's still around, esp. since he didn't bother to put up any client list or sample work links on his website.

The heat's finally broken its hold on this area, but I am sad that so many parts of the U.S. are still under siege. I worry about mom in the heat after reading stories of these old people who die of heat exhaustion in their apartments without AC. Mom does have an air conditioner, but I think she used to avoid using it until it was so blasted hot that a cactus would wilt. But these days she's more free about using the AC. I'm hoping to visit her this weekend and take her to the refurbished Eldrige Park Carousel if the weather holds.

I remember riding that merry-go-round when I was a kid, and Eldrige park had other rides like the Whip, the Tea Cups, the Airplanes, Bumper Cars, and of course, a wooden roller coaster. Some of the buildings are still standing, boarded up and derelict, but many of them have been renovated into other spaces. For instance, I'm pretty sure what was the Fun House is now the bathrooms. I need to get some pictures of the aging Whip building. It still has that 1950s-type look to it, just in severe disrepair. Here are some older pictures from 1999 before most of the renovations began. Check out the Whip, the 2nd picture from left on the top row. You can see much older pictures from its heyday.

Misbelievin'

1. Get yer free Tarot reading online! or here you can get other kinds of readings, too.

2. Get yer Free Mind-Reading Crystal Ball experience.

3. Get yer YATTA! here.

Why doesn't time move backwards?

I can't believe I only have 2 more weeks before I need to go back to work. How did that happen?

I've decided not to work for Smarthinking right now. Too much new stuff. I'm still trying to finish reading the text for my screenwriting class and get the syllabus written.

Condolences to Mr. Club on the death of this grandfather.

On Track

It's been a wild week so far. A lot of bumps and bruises. Yesterday I realized a rather large snafu in our bookkeeping, but thankfully nothing disasterous has resulted. The worst part of the entire thing was my over-the-top reaction. What can I say, I have money issues. "Poverty consciousness" is how my friend Lin put it.

Yesterday I began cracking the whip on my schedule. I managed quite well until the checkbook fiasco sucked me down and I experienced missing time while contending with that. But even so, I got a good 3 hours of writing in the morning, and I spend a couple hours in "training" for the Smarthinking on-line tutoring gig. I didn't get any reading done for Screenwriting, but I think I can make that up.

Today is my mom's birthday, so I'm going to get a couple of hours of writing in and then drive to Elmira with her prezzie and spend the afternoon with her.

Tomorrow I am driving to good friends of mine for an overnight visit. While I'm up there, close to Rochester, I will be bringing my MacBook to the Apple store to fix the "R" key which has completely fallen off. I know you all scoff, but Mecury is in Retrograde again... and based on what I've seen this week, it makes sense.

Off to write!

Back to Reality

What a weekend! As usual, the Live Adventure took me out of day-to-day life and plunked me in the realm of fantasy role-playing. I enjoyed my experience in-game, for the most part, although my body betrayed me and I had to quit before I was ready. My ankles were swollen like puffer fish and I ended up with heat exhaustion. We had a good trip home but I had to crash as soon as I showered and drank a gallon of water. I slept for about 5 hours, got up at 10:00 and ate a tuna sandwich, and went back to bed for eight hours. I didn't feel so hot for much of today but managed with a nappy nap.

Bizarro and I sat around after my tuna sandwhich and came up with a design idea for a game that is deliberately different from your average design template (find the missing pieces, do the appropriate spell, fight the demon avatar, and rid the land of evil). I think the idea can definitely hold water, but it would need to be fleshed out. We'd need a team, some land, and could possibly make it into a 2nd Game some year.

Today I just organized and sorted through Adventure crap, and then re-organized myself for the work I have to get done in the next three weeks, before the intensive ESL program starts up in August (my 2.5 week gig). My summer is rapidly coming to a close. *sigh* But there are still lots of good weekends and swimming opps left!

Consider this...

This is a new feature of Fred in the Can. Each week I'll chose some random topics that come my way and put up things for your perusal, consideration, adoration or total discreditation.

1. This company, Bohn had lots of sleek, futuristic renditions of the future, but somehow things just got crappier and crappier-looking. Ah, progress. Where the hell is my flying car ?

2. Hey, did anyone see Psychic Detectives on Court TV last night? If the story is to be believed (um, yeah) the psychic (Carol Pate) was able to lead them to the body and the killers. At least that show has resolution, unlike the show I've already blasted on this site, Haunting Evidence which leads you through three psychic wannabes picking up "clues" that law enforcement promises to follow up on (riiiight).

Damn, that's all I have energy for today. More next week.

How did it get to be July?

The saying "time flies" is especially true when you don't want it to. There I was, trying to destress and defrag and enjoy my summer and all of a sudden, BLAMM-O! the 4th of July has come and gone.

Well I suppose it's time I get my nose back to the grindstone anyway. I do have a few things to do this month, including:

1. Finishing the present draft of my screenplay.
2. Read all the texts and write the syllabus for fall semester (since the first 2.5 weeks of August will be me working as a slave for Big Red)
3. Pre-production work for the Global Nomads video.

Those will all take a good amount of time to accomplish, so I can't dawdle any longer. Of course, it's still summer, and I still plan on relaxing a bit.

This weekend we are going to our yearly "Live Adventure" which is a geeky yet wonderful experience in live action role play with a group of fine folks, some of who I've been close friends with for 15 years. The weekend is a blast but there's always more prep and money needed to make it go than you think, and so as per usual, it's the day before and both Bizarro and I have a few things yet to do. I'm looking forward to the weekend's festivities, and the camping weather looks to be just grand.

Next week is Mom's birthday (the 13th) and then I'm going to visit some friends who live a couple hours from me. They are friends from the Adventure community who gave me a place to live not once but two times (once in my 20s, once in my early 30s). I owe them a lot, and it will be good to catch up with them and their two kids.

Speaking of Mom, though, yesterday was a trying day. I went to visit her, and the saga with her credit card debt continues. Mind you, this is debt from years ago and she's been retired with nothing more than social security and a tiny pension check every month. It's kind of a mess, but I'm trying to help her take care of things. It's a weird feeling to help your mom with a thing like this; I suppose this is to be expected as she gets older and less able to deal with crap like this.

Anyway, that's plenty on my plate right now.

Bizarro's Burfday

Today my Huzzbinnd is a year older, and wiser I'd say. We had a lovely dinner (I grilled in the rain) and in a bit we'll head to Border's for some "Ginormous Chocolate Abomination Cake 'o Death" and a cup of "Count Javacula."

So make sure you wish him a Happy Birthday, and take a look at this week's scary food.

Rain, rain, go away...

I had another great meeting in my new department today, and I had a chance to get the layout of important places on campus (food, coffee, post office, bookstore) as well as to get my keys and see the office I will be sharing with other adjuncts. It's a decent-sized and appointed office, looks like there are 3 people in there.

The rain has been miserable, although I have really no cause to complain since we didn't get hit with the damaging floods from downstate and northeastern PA. Thank gawd Elmira didn't get hit (see the devastation from 1972's Hurricane Agnes). Actually, yesterday was sunny in Ithaca and today we've just had a brief shower. It's so strange: beautiful blue skies with white puffy clouds, then suddenly a big black thunderhead will roll through and dump rain for awhile, then keep moving on. Better than the absolute downpour we had a couple days ago, though.

I've been in a sort of weird limbo lately. Not depressed, but feeling restless and unfocused here and there, with patches of focused energy that allow me to get things done. Honestly, all I really want to do is sit in my chair on the patio and read.

Inner Smile

My beloved MacBook arrived yesterday morning, and I am currently typing my first blog entry on said machine. This computer is everything I had expected, and with Bizarro's help, I'm hooked up with Firefox and soon I'll be able to print.

I had a better morning than I have had in a long time. I had a counseling appointment, which was perfectly timed given that I've been feeling very down lately. It's been my experience with a few different therapists that I do a lot of the "work" in figuring stuff out, with some gentle prodding and suggestions. I never seem to recognize how much I really do have on my plate until it's pointed out to me, and then it's like "Oh yeah, no wonder I've been feeling [insert negative emotion here]. I better take some self-care time."

Yesterday I was feeling pretty awful, and really wanted to take a nap. Instead of doing that, I went out in the sunshine and drove to the Co Op grocery, where I bought some good-for-me bread and picked up a bunch of free literature on holistic-new age-freaky stuff. From there I decided it was high time I finally visit Snow Lion, which is headquartered here in Ithaca and has a store on the premises. I bought some Green Tara incense and a shrine image of Green Tara (over the water). Very nice! I also inquired if there were any other known Kagyu practitioners in the area, and the young man took my name and email to pass on to someone who would know. I also talked to the out-going president of the Tibetan Association of Ithaca about tutoring ESL in the Tibetan community, and he said he'd pass on my info.

I've identitified a few things that have been getting me down and some solutions. They are, in no particular order:

1. Loneliness. Solutions: Write! Also, branch out into the community and attend classes or events that might provide good places to meet new people. Be patient! I will meet more people at my new job in a couple of months.

2. Boredom. Solutions: Write! Also, remember that some fun things are coming up in the next month and a half, and that every day can't be a carnival o' fun. Take pleasure in the small things, especially those things that will be harder to have/do when summer is over. Meditate every day! Make a schedule of certain things that are routine each day, but don't try to structure every single day. Get ready for classes this fall.

3. Lack of self-confidence in my writing, questioning my future as a writer. Solutions: Write! Meditate and read inspirational books for writers, which Bizarro is always bringing home.

4. Nihilistic "everything in the world sucks so what's the point?" attitude. (It may be impeccably Goth, but it's not very healthy.) Solutions: Write! Remember: the world is Samsara, I am not perfect nor should expect anything to be. Take pleasure in the smallest of moments, be IN those moments, don't sweat the small stuff, and don't worry about the future. It isn't here, yet and will probably be better than my worst imaginings. Plus, it's the journey that really matters, not the result or the end. If I waste the journey whining about it, the end is going to suck, anyway.

...and on that note, I am going to write now. With an Inner Smile, if not an outer one.

Another day, another box of tissues

I am still sick with this goddam cold virus. It's really pissing me off. I felt a little better yesterday, well enough to do some grocery shopping and then to the mall with Bizarro to pick up a couple things from the craft store I needed. This morning the sore throat is as bad as ever, along with the runny nose. Jeezus H. Crist.

So last night I was all excited to catch a new show on Court TV, entitled "Haunting Evidence." The premise is that a medium, a "paranormal expert" and some other similarly-titled dude go round trying to pick up clues on cold cases by paranormal means, communing with the dead, and so forth. The show spent 25 minutes with the 3 bozos saying the same damned things over and over in different locations, with the narrator confirming that they had hit on something already known about the case. The three psychic wannabes picked up 2 or 3 "new" clues that investigators promised in the last 30 seconds of the show would be followed up. That was it. So totally boring and completely anticlimatic!

I wish we could get the Travel Channel so I can see "Most Haunted." Now THAT show rocks. I think I've already written about it on this blog, but basically it takes place in England with a larger group of paranormal wannabes running around notoriously haunted buildings, verbally taunting the evil spirits, using night vision, recording devices, and seances to stir up the local spectral entities. It's totally hilarious and a blast to watch.

Next week, my favorite PBS show "History Detectives" begins airing their new season. Here's to summer television!

Today I need to get some work done, if I can tame this headache with some Tylenol.

Who's on first...the next generation.

This is from an email I received this morning. I think it's pretty damned funny.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The main man in China!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's whose name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader
of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in
the Middle -East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle- East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

James Bond Almost Bites It (again)

JB: "You expect me to talk, Goldfinger?"
GF: "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!"

The Fleming Effect from Mr. KissKissBangBang

I.M. Goth

You scored as Fantasy Goth. You are a Fantasy Goth. You may or may not actually be a goth, but "normal" folks see you as one of those weird kids, and you are probably considered a geek by quite a few. Fantasy Goth 71% Anything-Goes Goth 63% Ethereal Goth 63% Perky Goff 54% Romantic Goth 42% Death Rocker 42% Understanding Outsider 42% Industrial/Rivet-Head 38% Old-school Goth 33% Confused Outsider 25% Cyber-goth 17% What subcategory of Goth best fits you? created with QuizFarm.com

New Hotness

I officially ordered my new MacBook today, and should be receiving said wonder in about a week.

I've been away, visiting my friend Jen. Good weekend, all around, although I came back sicker than when I left and by yesterday morning it had fully manifested as a nasty head cold virus thingie. I'm feeling a bit better today but I need a couple more days of recouperation to feel my old self.

I've begun a new blog, which will be one for writing and creative notes, rather than personal ramblings. As that grows, I'll put a link here.

Right now I need some Emer'Gen'C and a snack.

Road Tripping

Despite that fact that I'm still fighting this bug, I am driving to see Jen today. I'm tempted to call it off because I don't really feel well, but if not this weekend, I don't know when we'd be able to hang out this summer. I hate going someplace (even someplace fun) away from home when I don't feel so great.

In the meantime, here's something to cheer us up:
Meat is in the eye of the beholder.

A Window on the World

This morning I got up at my usual early hour and went to the car repair place for them to replace the switch on our driver side window. For weeks, now, we've had to contend with keeping the window up because once we put it down, it wouldn't go back up. Now it's fixed and wow! I can drive with the wind in my hair again! Woo hoo!

I'm annoyed because I was supposed to hear from my best friend Jenny about going to see her this weekend. She was supposed to call me Monday night but didn't, then I called her last night (twice) and got her answering machine and no call back. In the meantime, I have another friend who lives in Syracuse who has invited me up but I can't make any decisions until I hear from Jen. I haven't been to her home in about 6 years, so it's high time and we both need the female company, I believe.

Gorgeous day today. I have to meet with my folks at my New School this afternoon, which I'm looking forward to. At this point the only thing that's dragging me down is tha lack of a computer (currently using Bizarro's). This will soon be rectified, I hope.

And now for the retro image du jour:
Whiskey A gets you out of the Matrix, Whiskey B puts you back where you were

Creating Space

Yesterday morning I was bemoaning the sad state of my desk. I decided that since my computer was OLD and BUSTED, it needed to be removed from my desk to make space for the new laptop, which I hope to purchase in the next couple of weeks. I took the humungo monitor down and put up the shelf that wouldn't fit before, and rearranged things so that I now have a beautiful space for writing, which will easily accommodate a MacBook without destroying the space.

So, welcome MacBook!

Had a really nice afternoon with Momazoo yesterday, including a hastily made spaghetti dinner with salad and wine. We played Upwords (I won by 5 points) and had a lovely visit.

This morning I had to go the lab to get blood work for my doctor's visit later this week. I am sad that my doctor is closing her practice. Bizarro and I are trying to find a new doctor. What a pain.

Not much else going on. Today is sunny, thank GAWD, since it's rained for four days (or longer)? Too bad the Ithaca Festival got rained on this year.

Old n' Busted

My computer has died, so I don't have regular access and therefore am not posting much to the blog lately.

I'll be back when I get the New Hotness (MacBook 13").

Until then...

Daze of Summer

Memorial Day weekend went quickly and smoothly. We left for Cleveland at 5:15 a.m. on Saturday, then drove home at 6 a.m. on Monday. The driving was easy, and the visit was really fun. For once I got to see Cleveland when it wasn't raining or snowing. We went to Dunkin Donuts as much as possible, ate Chipotle with gusto, and made some productive purchases at MicroCenter and Kohl's. We have none of the above in Ithaca, so we had to make the most of our purchasing opportunities.

Today I'm feeling logi (logie ?) and headachy. I guess the weekend caught up with me.

But I'm getting some important things done, like getting a new doctor since mine is closing her practice in July. Gotta get some grokkereez later. It's hot as fcuk outside so I'm waiting until the sun goes down. I dont' know if the pool is open yet, but I will certainly check that out.

Here is today's dose of hilarity:

Look what happens when I stroke this!

If you have a better, funnier, dirtier caption for this photo, post it in the comments!

Chillen'

Yesterday morning I had my first "typical Ithaca summer day" experience. I met a good friend for coffee at GIMME COFFEE! and then we went to the East Lake shore to sit by the water for awhile, then a bit of shopping at the TJ MAXX. From there we went to the Green Star Co-Op and then went home for lunch. It's so nice to have the time and energy to experience the town I live in, finally! I did a quick workout with one of my colleagues and friends who is moving back to Arizona on Sunday. That was my day, with a huge nap in the afternoon.

I'm on a healthy diet and working out regularly, which makes me feel better than ever. I am intent on losing 20 lbs this summer. Of course, spending a weekend with my Filipino in-laws is going to blow my diet right out of the water. I can resist everything but those pork and shrimp egg rolls!

Here's something to inspire all of us dieters and exercise hounds:

Wow! This used be the fat in my thighs before I had liposuction!

Let Freedom Ring!

Today is my second day "out of the joint." Yesterday was a wash, dealing with the car repairs was a total nightmare and I don't want to relive and rehash it by writing it up here. Suffice it to say that we had been riding around in a death trap and didn't even know it. $750 later, it's ready to drive to Cleveland this weekend.

This morning I awoke early and discovered that there is the most marvelous sunlight in the office from 7:30 a.m. until around noon. I think I'll try to write during that time this summer. Maybe go for a swim to get woken up and then write for the rest of the morning.

I've discovered a fantastic website for retro-1950s stuff: www.plan59.com. Here's this week's image:

Beer Belongs!