Happy times are here again...
Today I found out to my great joy that I am teaching the 151a writing course this Winter (essentially Freshman Comp for international students). When my boss told me this afternoon, I exclaimed "Yay! This is the best news I've had all week!" He reminded me that it's only Monday and so he wasn't getting too excited over my response.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Tradishun
Today I made my wonderful homemade tomato sauce with angel hair spaghetti. Mmmm yum. Bizarro fixed some breaded chicken for a lovely, albeit ghetto, Chicken Parmesan. I'm stuffed even now, and it's almost 11 p.m.
Did laundry, vacuumed, dusted, got my checkbook updated on the new fancy-arse MSN Money program, organized my pile o' shit, and finally wrote up an idea for a documentary I've had for years.
My dad was an accordion player- not your basic Myron Floren/Lawrence Welk polka variety, but a serious musician who ran a music school, arranged music, wrote music, etc. We have all this documentation - Super8 movie, tons of pictures, and these 40 year old reel-to-reel tapes that my brother has salvaged and burned onto CDs. I'd like to do something with all that and tell the story of my dad's music school. It's interesting, I think, beyond the fact that he was my dad, because the accordion was a very timely instrument (as opposed to somethign timeless like the violin or piano) and that timeliness was very tied in to his vision. Once the accordion's time was done, so was his school, his life-long love. He became a real estate broker the last couple years before his death in 1979. I think the cancer was caused by a broken heart, myself.
So yeah... I want to make a movie about all that. Someday - not now.
It's late now, almost 11:00 and I'm sitting here in my office with Bizarro typity-typing on his laptap next to me. Kinda cute, eh?
We're leaving for Cleveland/New York on Thursday morning, so the next 3 days will be kinda busy. I always have time for coffee, though... (hint hint Mr. Club and Cat!!)
Slan!
Today I made my wonderful homemade tomato sauce with angel hair spaghetti. Mmmm yum. Bizarro fixed some breaded chicken for a lovely, albeit ghetto, Chicken Parmesan. I'm stuffed even now, and it's almost 11 p.m.
Did laundry, vacuumed, dusted, got my checkbook updated on the new fancy-arse MSN Money program, organized my pile o' shit, and finally wrote up an idea for a documentary I've had for years.
My dad was an accordion player- not your basic Myron Floren/Lawrence Welk polka variety, but a serious musician who ran a music school, arranged music, wrote music, etc. We have all this documentation - Super8 movie, tons of pictures, and these 40 year old reel-to-reel tapes that my brother has salvaged and burned onto CDs. I'd like to do something with all that and tell the story of my dad's music school. It's interesting, I think, beyond the fact that he was my dad, because the accordion was a very timely instrument (as opposed to somethign timeless like the violin or piano) and that timeliness was very tied in to his vision. Once the accordion's time was done, so was his school, his life-long love. He became a real estate broker the last couple years before his death in 1979. I think the cancer was caused by a broken heart, myself.
So yeah... I want to make a movie about all that. Someday - not now.
It's late now, almost 11:00 and I'm sitting here in my office with Bizarro typity-typing on his laptap next to me. Kinda cute, eh?
We're leaving for Cleveland/New York on Thursday morning, so the next 3 days will be kinda busy. I always have time for coffee, though... (hint hint Mr. Club and Cat!!)
Slan!
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Part Deux
I forgot to mention two things in my post earlier today: the suprise email I got from an old boyfriend and Mercury being in retrograde.
The old boyfriend (Trev) is from about 15 years ago. He's Irish (as in, lives in Ireland) hence the relationship was a summer romance that went nowhere when I was a Junior in college. Apprently he took it more seriously than I did (which was par for the course back in those days) and when I returned to Ireland to shoot my film about 6 years ago, he was unwilling to see me or have any contact with me. So you can imagine my shock when I got an email from him on my school account. He clearly made the deliberate attempt to look me up. So we've been emailing a bit, clearing the air a bit. He's married with an 11 year old and 8 year old (daughters). Seems very happy and content, which might explain his willingness to contact me after all these years. Y'know, he was one of the good ones. I didn't leave him because he's an asshole, but for other reasons. He's a good person and someone I'd like to call friend. But I know that our relationship can never transcend email. I'm sure if Bizarro and I go to Ireland one day, Trev will not be able to see us because his very traditional wife won't understand why he'd want to see an old (girl)friend. And that's...okay.
As to the Mercury in retrograde thing... Well I'm not very superstitious, but according to what's supposed to go wrong during this astrological event, the effects have definitely been felt in my life this past week: Mercury in Retrograde
I forgot to mention two things in my post earlier today: the suprise email I got from an old boyfriend and Mercury being in retrograde.
The old boyfriend (Trev) is from about 15 years ago. He's Irish (as in, lives in Ireland) hence the relationship was a summer romance that went nowhere when I was a Junior in college. Apprently he took it more seriously than I did (which was par for the course back in those days) and when I returned to Ireland to shoot my film about 6 years ago, he was unwilling to see me or have any contact with me. So you can imagine my shock when I got an email from him on my school account. He clearly made the deliberate attempt to look me up. So we've been emailing a bit, clearing the air a bit. He's married with an 11 year old and 8 year old (daughters). Seems very happy and content, which might explain his willingness to contact me after all these years. Y'know, he was one of the good ones. I didn't leave him because he's an asshole, but for other reasons. He's a good person and someone I'd like to call friend. But I know that our relationship can never transcend email. I'm sure if Bizarro and I go to Ireland one day, Trev will not be able to see us because his very traditional wife won't understand why he'd want to see an old (girl)friend. And that's...okay.
As to the Mercury in retrograde thing... Well I'm not very superstitious, but according to what's supposed to go wrong during this astrological event, the effects have definitely been felt in my life this past week: Mercury in Retrograde
Week of Infamy
Sure has been awhile. I've been convalescing from school, keeping out of my office as much as possible, which means little internet access is to be had.
Last weekend I was on retreat with practitioners from KTC at a woodsy retreat center in Yellow Springs (it seemed more like the set of a bad sequel to "The Blair Witch Project" but that's another issue). It was a good retreat, but not one of warm-fuzzies. More like digging at the less desirable parts of my psyche and putting them on the table to focus my practice. After I came home on Sunday, me and Bizarro promptly had a wicked ass blowout which was entirely my fault. So much for Enlightenment. But we kissed and made up and all was well by the end of the night.
Just when I thought things were on the mend, financial crisis gripped the household when I realized on Wednesday that I'd made a double entry of a deposit in my checkbook, and was actually about $650 in the red. Fucking great! So we depleted our meager $200 savings and I borrowed $500 from a good friend and colleague (bless her soul!) and if I can get the bank manager to refund me the $108 in overdraft fees, things will be back to being marginally okay, maybe. This hit me hard, not so much because of the financial side (which is always fucked up anyway, so what's really new? I now owe someone $500, which is par for the course). The main thing that I felt keenly was the idea that once again, I FUCKED UP.
Now you have to understand that I am a perfectionist and have been in therapy for this exact issue off and on for years. Oh, I can psycho analyze myself until the cows come home, but what it boils down to is how I actually react in times of stress. Usually, that ain't so good. But recently I've been making very small strides in the right direction. Although I wanted to beat myself senseless over the stupid checkbook error, I managed not to. I managed to get through the entire thing, with Bizarro's unsweving and loving assistance (and $2 margueritas at Casa with Mr. Club and Cat!). I survived emotionally intact. Not to mention determined to be a wee bit more careful about tending my checkbook register.
So today... a beautful sunny day... I spent the morning reading and puttering around the apartment. Showered, meditated at my shrine, had a nice salad, hard-boiled some eggs for later, and even prepared a pizza doggy bag for Bizarro's lunch at the diamond mines.
I dropped him off at the mines, and he was driving (this becomes an important detail). We did our usual thing - pulled up out of the way by the curb, put the flashers on and did a half-chinese fire drill for me to get to the driver's seat, give him a quick peck on the cheek, and him run into work. So as I was getting out of the passenger side, this fat woman with 20 bags of food stamp groceries is standing on the curb with her friend, and she makes this comment that took me a moment to realize was directed at us: "Somebody needs remedial reading, they can't see the "no parking" sign. No parking means no parking."
Now... as I was coming around the back end of the car it's dawning on me what she's saying and to whom. So by the time I got to Bizarro, who's already puckered up and ready to say bye, I'm giving this woman a scowl that could decalcify bones. You know the type of bitchy person, who feels the need to make comments about strangers but doesn't have the balls to look them in eyes while they're speaking? I made sure she knew I heard her and that I didn't appreciate her ignorant fat ass making stupid comments that weren't any of her business. I think Bizarro didn't hear her and had no idea why I was still staring at her while saying goodbye to him.
I got in the car, rolled down the passenger side window and said as I pulled out "Have a nice day!" in a sickenly saccharin voice that CLEARLY was not wishing her a nice day, but rather letting her know that I recognize how pathetic her life must be for her to have to hang out by "no parking" signs, railing on people who are doing absolutely no harm to her or anyone she knows.
As I drove down the road toward campus, I became increasingly indignant at the audacity of this 250 pound woman to pass judgement on ME because I dropped my sweetie off at work in the no parking zone.
My ire was exacerbated (remedial reading, indeed!) by the fact that NO WHERE on this stupid cheap-ass campus could I find a place to get a cup of coffee. After trying 3 coffee shops, I had to resort to walking all the way to Landru's. The woman who served me coffee is in my Dharma study group here in Athens. She asked me if I was going to our meeting tomorrow, which is in a different location than usual. I had totally forgotten about it. In fact I had totally forgotten about Dharma in my ranting and raving about stupid fat hill-billy women and dumb-ass OU coffee shops that are too cheap to stay open on a Saturday afternoon a week before Christmas.
I felt better after talking to her, and realized that the woman at the diamond mine curb must have issues to be so enraged over a parking sign, and that I really could have used the walk down to Landrus anyway since I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks. So all in all, things were okay. I realized that being upset over all that wasn't worth ruining the rest of my afternoon.
"The bun is in your mind!"
I have to go tutor, now.
Sure has been awhile. I've been convalescing from school, keeping out of my office as much as possible, which means little internet access is to be had.
Last weekend I was on retreat with practitioners from KTC at a woodsy retreat center in Yellow Springs (it seemed more like the set of a bad sequel to "The Blair Witch Project" but that's another issue). It was a good retreat, but not one of warm-fuzzies. More like digging at the less desirable parts of my psyche and putting them on the table to focus my practice. After I came home on Sunday, me and Bizarro promptly had a wicked ass blowout which was entirely my fault. So much for Enlightenment. But we kissed and made up and all was well by the end of the night.
Just when I thought things were on the mend, financial crisis gripped the household when I realized on Wednesday that I'd made a double entry of a deposit in my checkbook, and was actually about $650 in the red. Fucking great! So we depleted our meager $200 savings and I borrowed $500 from a good friend and colleague (bless her soul!) and if I can get the bank manager to refund me the $108 in overdraft fees, things will be back to being marginally okay, maybe. This hit me hard, not so much because of the financial side (which is always fucked up anyway, so what's really new? I now owe someone $500, which is par for the course). The main thing that I felt keenly was the idea that once again, I FUCKED UP.
Now you have to understand that I am a perfectionist and have been in therapy for this exact issue off and on for years. Oh, I can psycho analyze myself until the cows come home, but what it boils down to is how I actually react in times of stress. Usually, that ain't so good. But recently I've been making very small strides in the right direction. Although I wanted to beat myself senseless over the stupid checkbook error, I managed not to. I managed to get through the entire thing, with Bizarro's unsweving and loving assistance (and $2 margueritas at Casa with Mr. Club and Cat!). I survived emotionally intact. Not to mention determined to be a wee bit more careful about tending my checkbook register.
So today... a beautful sunny day... I spent the morning reading and puttering around the apartment. Showered, meditated at my shrine, had a nice salad, hard-boiled some eggs for later, and even prepared a pizza doggy bag for Bizarro's lunch at the diamond mines.
I dropped him off at the mines, and he was driving (this becomes an important detail). We did our usual thing - pulled up out of the way by the curb, put the flashers on and did a half-chinese fire drill for me to get to the driver's seat, give him a quick peck on the cheek, and him run into work. So as I was getting out of the passenger side, this fat woman with 20 bags of food stamp groceries is standing on the curb with her friend, and she makes this comment that took me a moment to realize was directed at us: "Somebody needs remedial reading, they can't see the "no parking" sign. No parking means no parking."
Now... as I was coming around the back end of the car it's dawning on me what she's saying and to whom. So by the time I got to Bizarro, who's already puckered up and ready to say bye, I'm giving this woman a scowl that could decalcify bones. You know the type of bitchy person, who feels the need to make comments about strangers but doesn't have the balls to look them in eyes while they're speaking? I made sure she knew I heard her and that I didn't appreciate her ignorant fat ass making stupid comments that weren't any of her business. I think Bizarro didn't hear her and had no idea why I was still staring at her while saying goodbye to him.
I got in the car, rolled down the passenger side window and said as I pulled out "Have a nice day!" in a sickenly saccharin voice that CLEARLY was not wishing her a nice day, but rather letting her know that I recognize how pathetic her life must be for her to have to hang out by "no parking" signs, railing on people who are doing absolutely no harm to her or anyone she knows.
As I drove down the road toward campus, I became increasingly indignant at the audacity of this 250 pound woman to pass judgement on ME because I dropped my sweetie off at work in the no parking zone.
My ire was exacerbated (remedial reading, indeed!) by the fact that NO WHERE on this stupid cheap-ass campus could I find a place to get a cup of coffee. After trying 3 coffee shops, I had to resort to walking all the way to Landru's. The woman who served me coffee is in my Dharma study group here in Athens. She asked me if I was going to our meeting tomorrow, which is in a different location than usual. I had totally forgotten about it. In fact I had totally forgotten about Dharma in my ranting and raving about stupid fat hill-billy women and dumb-ass OU coffee shops that are too cheap to stay open on a Saturday afternoon a week before Christmas.
I felt better after talking to her, and realized that the woman at the diamond mine curb must have issues to be so enraged over a parking sign, and that I really could have used the walk down to Landrus anyway since I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks. So all in all, things were okay. I realized that being upset over all that wasn't worth ruining the rest of my afternoon.
"The bun is in your mind!"
I have to go tutor, now.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Purges and Urges
It's been a few days since my last entry. Right now I'm in my office, and I'm finding that once again settings on my computer have been changed by the Computer Guru Wannabe in our department. All I asked him to do was to install Shockwave and set up Mulberry as the default mail application on Explorer. SIGH. It never ends.
The last week has been interesting, to say the least. My friend Mo and I are doing a "cleansing fast" this week, which consists of:
- Two days of raw foods only
- Three days of only broths, juices and water
- Two days of raw foods only
I'm on Day4, the 2nd day of the liquid diet. We built in a couple safeties, though, like yogurt on the raw food days, and bananas and avocados on the liquid food days, and I eat one bowl of organic oats and soy cereal (with cranberry juice instead of soy milk) every night for added protein. And of course there's the spirulina, colon blow, and multivitamin supplements.
The point? To purge the body of toxins, let the digestive system get a break and clean itself out. I have to say, aside from certain female ailments that result in cramps, I feel good. And not hungry. The hunger subsided after the 2nd day. I do get cravings between 6-9 p.m., which is usually the time I'd sit down with a pizza or eat a bag of popcorn. That 3-hour period is very difficult for me and for Bizarro, since he's been listening to my bitching and moaning. Poor guy! Now that I recognize the pattern, I think I'll try a couple of things to keep me distracted from my cravings and urges at that time.
I've been drinking cranberry and apple juices, and I made a fantastic vegetable broth, which I had the last of at today's lunch. I'll make some more when I get home, only this time I'm adding in beets.
This fast idea came from the book Prescription for Nutritional Healing, by Phyllis Balch and James Balch, M.D. Check it out!
Let's see, other than that, I started my tutoring this week. Cleaned the house. Sent out my pro sem questionnaire last Friday and have received four responses already. Started organizing leads and contacts for my NY job search. And bought the calender insert for my daytimer organizer. Not bad, not bad at all.
Oh, and of course last weekend I started going to the gym, which I've stopped for the fast. I started some cardio training (with the advice of my friend Mo, who's been working out the last couple of weeks with a trainer). Just 10 mins walking on the treadmill, 15 mins on the eliptical machine (all I can do right now) and another 5 minutes cooldown walk on the treadmill. Plus I've started playing ping pong again with my Chinese friend Ning. Trying to do stretches and some T'ai Chi while on the fast in place of the cardio, at least.
This weekend (Sat-Sun) I will be in Columbus visiting Mo and taking her to the Buddhist center up there. Next weekend is the retreat in Yellow Springs, so I'll be gone Fri-Sunday. I'm hoping to get together with Mr. Club and Kit next week. This week there's no point, since I can't eat or drink anything!
The fast will end Sunday night. I plan on going to O'Betty's for a Sally (a BLT hotdog). Woo hoo!! I'll prolly puke like the guy in Supersize Me after his first Big Mac meal. Bizarro rented it for me Tuesday night, to help me get over my cravings. It was a real eye opener, that's for sure! I'll never give my money to a fast food restaurant again.
Well I guess that about catches me up. Since I'm not in the office every day, I'm not on the computer either. My entries will be longer and less frequent.
But stay tuned for more madcap adventures!
It's been a few days since my last entry. Right now I'm in my office, and I'm finding that once again settings on my computer have been changed by the Computer Guru Wannabe in our department. All I asked him to do was to install Shockwave and set up Mulberry as the default mail application on Explorer. SIGH. It never ends.
The last week has been interesting, to say the least. My friend Mo and I are doing a "cleansing fast" this week, which consists of:
- Two days of raw foods only
- Three days of only broths, juices and water
- Two days of raw foods only
I'm on Day4, the 2nd day of the liquid diet. We built in a couple safeties, though, like yogurt on the raw food days, and bananas and avocados on the liquid food days, and I eat one bowl of organic oats and soy cereal (with cranberry juice instead of soy milk) every night for added protein. And of course there's the spirulina, colon blow, and multivitamin supplements.
The point? To purge the body of toxins, let the digestive system get a break and clean itself out. I have to say, aside from certain female ailments that result in cramps, I feel good. And not hungry. The hunger subsided after the 2nd day. I do get cravings between 6-9 p.m., which is usually the time I'd sit down with a pizza or eat a bag of popcorn. That 3-hour period is very difficult for me and for Bizarro, since he's been listening to my bitching and moaning. Poor guy! Now that I recognize the pattern, I think I'll try a couple of things to keep me distracted from my cravings and urges at that time.
I've been drinking cranberry and apple juices, and I made a fantastic vegetable broth, which I had the last of at today's lunch. I'll make some more when I get home, only this time I'm adding in beets.
This fast idea came from the book Prescription for Nutritional Healing, by Phyllis Balch and James Balch, M.D. Check it out!
Let's see, other than that, I started my tutoring this week. Cleaned the house. Sent out my pro sem questionnaire last Friday and have received four responses already. Started organizing leads and contacts for my NY job search. And bought the calender insert for my daytimer organizer. Not bad, not bad at all.
Oh, and of course last weekend I started going to the gym, which I've stopped for the fast. I started some cardio training (with the advice of my friend Mo, who's been working out the last couple of weeks with a trainer). Just 10 mins walking on the treadmill, 15 mins on the eliptical machine (all I can do right now) and another 5 minutes cooldown walk on the treadmill. Plus I've started playing ping pong again with my Chinese friend Ning. Trying to do stretches and some T'ai Chi while on the fast in place of the cardio, at least.
This weekend (Sat-Sun) I will be in Columbus visiting Mo and taking her to the Buddhist center up there. Next weekend is the retreat in Yellow Springs, so I'll be gone Fri-Sunday. I'm hoping to get together with Mr. Club and Kit next week. This week there's no point, since I can't eat or drink anything!
The fast will end Sunday night. I plan on going to O'Betty's for a Sally (a BLT hotdog). Woo hoo!! I'll prolly puke like the guy in Supersize Me after his first Big Mac meal. Bizarro rented it for me Tuesday night, to help me get over my cravings. It was a real eye opener, that's for sure! I'll never give my money to a fast food restaurant again.
Well I guess that about catches me up. Since I'm not in the office every day, I'm not on the computer either. My entries will be longer and less frequent.
But stay tuned for more madcap adventures!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
It's in the dater
One of my profs is from Manchester, England, and with his dialect he says "dater" for "data". I just finished preparing my Pro Seminar proposal for him. Now the fun part begins - collecting the "dater" for analysis.
My earlier post was actually written on Monday at Bizarro's family home. I just cut and pasted. Yesterday was a fair drive home - no rain and not cold. We pulled into Athens with only a bit of time left before my appointment with the ENT guy. He thinks I have allergies (DUH) and I'll be tested for them next month. Plus he's doing a hearing test because of the problems I've had in my right ear.
But the sad news from yesterday is that the last remaining fishie was face-down in the gravel when we got in. I think I starved it to death. Even though I put one of those "weekend feeder" pellets in, it didn't really do the job. Anyway the lil' fish was pretty elderly and had been swimming funny of late. Poor dear. Well, I said a prayer and gave it its toilet-side funeral. Om mani padme hung.
Now all that remains is for me to calculate my class' grades (with Bizarro's help) and turn that in on Friday. Woo hoo!! A little late but not beyond the deadline.
Saturday night I'm hopefully going to a dinner party with some international student friends of mine. Tomorrow if all goes well we will hang out with our friends who now live in DC (she graduated from my program last spring). Friday night is open - perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Club will want to see Ocean's Twelve.
"Party time fun time yeah yeah yeah!!" Can anyone name that quote?
One of my profs is from Manchester, England, and with his dialect he says "dater" for "data". I just finished preparing my Pro Seminar proposal for him. Now the fun part begins - collecting the "dater" for analysis.
My earlier post was actually written on Monday at Bizarro's family home. I just cut and pasted. Yesterday was a fair drive home - no rain and not cold. We pulled into Athens with only a bit of time left before my appointment with the ENT guy. He thinks I have allergies (DUH) and I'll be tested for them next month. Plus he's doing a hearing test because of the problems I've had in my right ear.
But the sad news from yesterday is that the last remaining fishie was face-down in the gravel when we got in. I think I starved it to death. Even though I put one of those "weekend feeder" pellets in, it didn't really do the job. Anyway the lil' fish was pretty elderly and had been swimming funny of late. Poor dear. Well, I said a prayer and gave it its toilet-side funeral. Om mani padme hung.
Now all that remains is for me to calculate my class' grades (with Bizarro's help) and turn that in on Friday. Woo hoo!! A little late but not beyond the deadline.
Saturday night I'm hopefully going to a dinner party with some international student friends of mine. Tomorrow if all goes well we will hang out with our friends who now live in DC (she graduated from my program last spring). Friday night is open - perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Club will want to see Ocean's Twelve.
"Party time fun time yeah yeah yeah!!" Can anyone name that quote?
Missing In Action
It's been a couple weeks since my last entry. Finals and extreme stress resulted in
my usual once-a-quarter melt down. Went to the doc's and was treated for a sinus infection after being in searing pain for a week. I'm pretty damned sure that I have been suffering from allergies these past few months. I'm going to see an Ear/Nose/Throat guy on Tuesday to try to get this under control. Anyway, enough of my health report.
Started counseling again last week,too. Just sort of cleaning up residual ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES. Seriously, I realized a great deal of my stress was due to feeling anxious about getting a job next year. Not JUST getting a job, but getting the right job, in the right city, and also in a place where Bizarro can go to school and get his career game on. Anyway, so that's all under construction right now but it's good.
At present I'm watching Dr. Who with Bizarro. Man, I hadn't realized how low-budget
these shows actually were. We've been here in Cleveland since Friday night. Drove up in the rain on Friday, survived my first Filipino wedding on Saturday, bummed around yesterday and got some grading done. still have a lot more to do, not to mention my pro sem revision. Yipes.
My head is splitting after going to the eye doctor's and getting all kinds of fucked up drops. My eyes are fine and my prescription isn't much changed. Mr. and Mrs. Bizarro will get us new glasses in the Philippines when they go later this week. Imagine! Bizarro won't have big-lensed 80s glasses! I can't wait. I'm very psyched to get new glasses with sunglass shades that attach.
Well anyway, just wanted to write something instead of nothing. I'll write more later I guess. AFter the Dr. Who marathon and the earlyThanksgiving dinner we're having tonight. I've made gramma's cranberry relish. Mmmm.
It's been a couple weeks since my last entry. Finals and extreme stress resulted in
my usual once-a-quarter melt down. Went to the doc's and was treated for a sinus infection after being in searing pain for a week. I'm pretty damned sure that I have been suffering from allergies these past few months. I'm going to see an Ear/Nose/Throat guy on Tuesday to try to get this under control. Anyway, enough of my health report.
Started counseling again last week,too. Just sort of cleaning up residual ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES. Seriously, I realized a great deal of my stress was due to feeling anxious about getting a job next year. Not JUST getting a job, but getting the right job, in the right city, and also in a place where Bizarro can go to school and get his career game on. Anyway, so that's all under construction right now but it's good.
At present I'm watching Dr. Who with Bizarro. Man, I hadn't realized how low-budget
these shows actually were. We've been here in Cleveland since Friday night. Drove up in the rain on Friday, survived my first Filipino wedding on Saturday, bummed around yesterday and got some grading done. still have a lot more to do, not to mention my pro sem revision. Yipes.
My head is splitting after going to the eye doctor's and getting all kinds of fucked up drops. My eyes are fine and my prescription isn't much changed. Mr. and Mrs. Bizarro will get us new glasses in the Philippines when they go later this week. Imagine! Bizarro won't have big-lensed 80s glasses! I can't wait. I'm very psyched to get new glasses with sunglass shades that attach.
Well anyway, just wanted to write something instead of nothing. I'll write more later I guess. AFter the Dr. Who marathon and the earlyThanksgiving dinner we're having tonight. I've made gramma's cranberry relish. Mmmm.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
My first time...
...to buy something on ebay! Last week I started looking on line for a SCSI zip drive for my ancient G3 PowerMac at home. I found a site that had a bunch going for $7 with a 30-day warrenty. So I got paid this week and decided to go back there and snatch one up. Except that I can't find the site anywhere! After looking around for close to an hour, I finally settled on looking at all the crap on ebay, which I usually avoid because it's overwhelming to me.
I found what I'm %99.9 sure is the zip drive I need, and it was going for $2.95. Since I didn't have an ebay account I had to set one up - with about 13 minutes left in the auction! So I managed to do that despite the fact that fucking hotmail wasn't loading pages and I had to hit the refresh buttom a million times to see each and every page. By the time I finished my ebay registration there was less than 2 minutes in the auction. I won by bidding a whopping $5.50. With S&H it's still less than $15 for the zip drive. Even if it's not the right thing that I needed, I'm only out $15.00.
One more step into the 21st century!
This kind of cheers me up after the election, I suppose. At this point we just have to make the best of what we've got, right? I've got a lot good in my life, even though my future in teaching ESL will be questionable under Dubbya's reign. *sigh* Here's to the 2008 election!
...to buy something on ebay! Last week I started looking on line for a SCSI zip drive for my ancient G3 PowerMac at home. I found a site that had a bunch going for $7 with a 30-day warrenty. So I got paid this week and decided to go back there and snatch one up. Except that I can't find the site anywhere! After looking around for close to an hour, I finally settled on looking at all the crap on ebay, which I usually avoid because it's overwhelming to me.
I found what I'm %99.9 sure is the zip drive I need, and it was going for $2.95. Since I didn't have an ebay account I had to set one up - with about 13 minutes left in the auction! So I managed to do that despite the fact that fucking hotmail wasn't loading pages and I had to hit the refresh buttom a million times to see each and every page. By the time I finished my ebay registration there was less than 2 minutes in the auction. I won by bidding a whopping $5.50. With S&H it's still less than $15 for the zip drive. Even if it's not the right thing that I needed, I'm only out $15.00.
One more step into the 21st century!
This kind of cheers me up after the election, I suppose. At this point we just have to make the best of what we've got, right? I've got a lot good in my life, even though my future in teaching ESL will be questionable under Dubbya's reign. *sigh* Here's to the 2008 election!
A sad day
I've been moping around all day because of the election results - particularly the smegging Ohio votes that aren't being counted. There's sort of a dark cloud around the Linguistics department today. It's like everyone is in mourning. In a way I guess we are. Mourning for the future of our country.
Not that I thought JK was great. He was, in my eyes, the lesser of two evils. Ah well. As Bizarro reminded me this morning, our lives are still good, and we are together. Together we'll make our futures, no matter who's president.
I've been moping around all day because of the election results - particularly the smegging Ohio votes that aren't being counted. There's sort of a dark cloud around the Linguistics department today. It's like everyone is in mourning. In a way I guess we are. Mourning for the future of our country.
Not that I thought JK was great. He was, in my eyes, the lesser of two evils. Ah well. As Bizarro reminded me this morning, our lives are still good, and we are together. Together we'll make our futures, no matter who's president.
Monday, November 01, 2004
Happy Birthday, Mr. Spock
On this day, 52 years ago, my brother was born. He used to pretend like he was a Vulcan, with no emotions. What a crock. Anyway, he got over himself. He's a great older brother, even if he is a bit long-winded. And a Libertarian. But he's still my big bro and I love him dearly. He's a great cook, a natural landscaper, a bigger sci fi geek than me (I learned it from watching him!), and he's hilarious. I miss him (he's in Boston so I never see him). Ah well, happy birthday Mr. Spock.
On this day, 52 years ago, my brother was born. He used to pretend like he was a Vulcan, with no emotions. What a crock. Anyway, he got over himself. He's a great older brother, even if he is a bit long-winded. And a Libertarian. But he's still my big bro and I love him dearly. He's a great cook, a natural landscaper, a bigger sci fi geek than me (I learned it from watching him!), and he's hilarious. I miss him (he's in Boston so I never see him). Ah well, happy birthday Mr. Spock.
Happy All Souls Day
I always got confused between All Souls Day and All Saints Day. I know that the RCC created them to assimilate all the pagans who celebrated Samhain (prononced " 'sow win"), which was Oct. 31 - the day were the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead was thinnest. Anyway, I remember going to Mass when I was a kid on All Saints or Souls Day or whatever, and realizing even back then that it was a thinly disguised attempt at "holifying" Halloween. heh. Smart kid.
Saturday I worked on that shoot, and in the evening I sat on my patio with candles lit, watching the Halloween partiers go by in all their costumed glory. It was fun. Very warm evening. After Bizarro came home we went to Mr. Club's and watched Night of the Living Dead (the original, that is). What a disturbing film. But it was nice to hang out with Mr. Club and Catwoman. Bizarro made the mistake of wearing his Chicago tshirt so we made lots of jokes at his exense. Heh. After that we just went home and went to bed.
I was feeling crummy yesterday due to unmentionable circumstances so I just stayed home and studied Chinese. Speaking which, I really did bomb that quiz on Friday (66). That's okay, she drops the lowest quiz grade. I just have to keep it together for one more quiz and a final exam. I think I can manage, but I'm unfortunately not going to be taking Chinese next quarter. It's too much on top of pro sem and teaching (and my other class, which is an internship). I'm still wrangling the schedule for next quarter, though, and I'm a little peeved at the internship director (let's call him Mr. Bean). If I do a 4 credit internship that's like 12 hours a week, and Bean wants me to keep a "journal" to recount exactly how I'm spending those 12 hours. Smeg head.
Anyway, it's been a prett good day for a Monday. Just about time to head home and get some dinner. This morning I finished my IRB form and delivered it to the Research Compliance office. Yay me.
welp I guess that's it for my exciting life, for now.
I always got confused between All Souls Day and All Saints Day. I know that the RCC created them to assimilate all the pagans who celebrated Samhain (prononced " 'sow win"), which was Oct. 31 - the day were the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead was thinnest. Anyway, I remember going to Mass when I was a kid on All Saints or Souls Day or whatever, and realizing even back then that it was a thinly disguised attempt at "holifying" Halloween. heh. Smart kid.
Saturday I worked on that shoot, and in the evening I sat on my patio with candles lit, watching the Halloween partiers go by in all their costumed glory. It was fun. Very warm evening. After Bizarro came home we went to Mr. Club's and watched Night of the Living Dead (the original, that is). What a disturbing film. But it was nice to hang out with Mr. Club and Catwoman. Bizarro made the mistake of wearing his Chicago tshirt so we made lots of jokes at his exense. Heh. After that we just went home and went to bed.
I was feeling crummy yesterday due to unmentionable circumstances so I just stayed home and studied Chinese. Speaking which, I really did bomb that quiz on Friday (66). That's okay, she drops the lowest quiz grade. I just have to keep it together for one more quiz and a final exam. I think I can manage, but I'm unfortunately not going to be taking Chinese next quarter. It's too much on top of pro sem and teaching (and my other class, which is an internship). I'm still wrangling the schedule for next quarter, though, and I'm a little peeved at the internship director (let's call him Mr. Bean). If I do a 4 credit internship that's like 12 hours a week, and Bean wants me to keep a "journal" to recount exactly how I'm spending those 12 hours. Smeg head.
Anyway, it's been a prett good day for a Monday. Just about time to head home and get some dinner. This morning I finished my IRB form and delivered it to the Research Compliance office. Yay me.
welp I guess that's it for my exciting life, for now.
Saturday, October 30, 2004
It's that time again... to Fall over.
I know that's not the official ditty, but it's how I remember to set my clock back in the fall and ahead in the spring. So tomorrow night we'll all lose an hour sleep and sunlight. Poop.
Today was strange, actually. I woke up early to work on my friend's movie shoot. I worked from 8-4 for her, and instead of being a production P.A. I ended up on craft service. Craft service means providing food for the cast and crew. I spent 1.5 hours cooking pasta in my kitchen for her shoot this afternoon. The DP was great, professional and a nice guy. The gaffer was an asshole, the AD had his knickers in such a twist I thought he was going to spin off and drill a hole in the ceiling with his pointy little head at any moment. we started out on location one of those freaking mansions outside A-town (near the country club, natch). They were just about set up for the first exterior shot when it started raining. AFter it kept coming down, my friend, the writer/director, decided to move the entire scene back to the OTHER location and change it to an interior.
Usually interiors (INT) and exteriors (EXT) are never the actual same place. So that means the exterior shots would be edited to look as if they belonged to all the interior shots (the outside and inside of the same building).
Anyway, so we all packed up our shit (no mean feat, when you have a 17' grip truck full of equipment). We went back to her house (which she's been using for all the INT shots, and man is her house trashed after this week). I basically ended up standing around a lot, then sort of found myself a niche wrangling the cord for the dolly grip. The dolly is a platform on wheels upon which the camera, monitor and DP or camera operator ride for a smooth tracking (moving) shot. The dolly grip is the person who pushes/pulls the dolly. The cord wrangler is the person who makes sure the cords don't get tangled and that there's enough slack, etc. We had gone through a couple rehearsals, and all of a sudden the producer (who my friend has nicknamed "bag of goo" because of his ineptitude) pulls me off that and gives the lame excuse that the PA who's a T-Comm major was supposed to be doing that "That's why he's here." Fuck that shit! That's why I was there, too!
So then he had something else in mind for me -- craft service. My friend had already told me how he'd been stuck with it all week 'cause he found no one to do it. So that's where I came in. Saved his ass, I did. Fed the crew, I did. He was all kinds of smarmy and thanking me profusely. Chump.
Anyway, I left the set at 4:00, which I told my friend I had to do cause I got shit ta DO.
I did meet a very cool Script Super, who's a Chinese American lady. Her name is Belle. I'd like to meet her again one day. I could almost see myself getting back into the game, doing her job...
But then there's all the ego and bullshit of that industry that I am SO OVER. And I'm happy with my job as a teacher/linguist/independent doc maker/writer. I'm proud of my friend for making her dream come true. I'm glad I got to be a small part of it.
The real downside to the day was that I was on my feet all day. Right now I am in a lot of pain - my feet and legs. I decided to walk to campus to at least pretend to do some work and get online. Of course tonight is A-Town's infamous Halloween street party, where people from all over the state gather to make merry and mayhem. Even as I was walking here at 4 in the afternoon, the porch parties were in full swing. So anyway, after that walk I don't know if I can handle walking home, but Bizarro doesn't get out until 10. Yipes. Maybe I'm stuck here?
Hopefully we'll got to Mr. Club's later, that is if bizarro is up to it after working all day. We'll see.
Recently we've been watching Red Dwarf on video (rescued from Bizarro's homestead last week). Really great stuff for letting your brain relax.
Hell's bells. I better get out of here before it gets dark and all the creeps come out.
ADDENDUM
Where the hell is this post? It's in my "Edit Posts" and I published but it's not showing up?!?!
I know that's not the official ditty, but it's how I remember to set my clock back in the fall and ahead in the spring. So tomorrow night we'll all lose an hour sleep and sunlight. Poop.
Today was strange, actually. I woke up early to work on my friend's movie shoot. I worked from 8-4 for her, and instead of being a production P.A. I ended up on craft service. Craft service means providing food for the cast and crew. I spent 1.5 hours cooking pasta in my kitchen for her shoot this afternoon. The DP was great, professional and a nice guy. The gaffer was an asshole, the AD had his knickers in such a twist I thought he was going to spin off and drill a hole in the ceiling with his pointy little head at any moment. we started out on location one of those freaking mansions outside A-town (near the country club, natch). They were just about set up for the first exterior shot when it started raining. AFter it kept coming down, my friend, the writer/director, decided to move the entire scene back to the OTHER location and change it to an interior.
Usually interiors (INT) and exteriors (EXT) are never the actual same place. So that means the exterior shots would be edited to look as if they belonged to all the interior shots (the outside and inside of the same building).
Anyway, so we all packed up our shit (no mean feat, when you have a 17' grip truck full of equipment). We went back to her house (which she's been using for all the INT shots, and man is her house trashed after this week). I basically ended up standing around a lot, then sort of found myself a niche wrangling the cord for the dolly grip. The dolly is a platform on wheels upon which the camera, monitor and DP or camera operator ride for a smooth tracking (moving) shot. The dolly grip is the person who pushes/pulls the dolly. The cord wrangler is the person who makes sure the cords don't get tangled and that there's enough slack, etc. We had gone through a couple rehearsals, and all of a sudden the producer (who my friend has nicknamed "bag of goo" because of his ineptitude) pulls me off that and gives the lame excuse that the PA who's a T-Comm major was supposed to be doing that "That's why he's here." Fuck that shit! That's why I was there, too!
So then he had something else in mind for me -- craft service. My friend had already told me how he'd been stuck with it all week 'cause he found no one to do it. So that's where I came in. Saved his ass, I did. Fed the crew, I did. He was all kinds of smarmy and thanking me profusely. Chump.
Anyway, I left the set at 4:00, which I told my friend I had to do cause I got shit ta DO.
I did meet a very cool Script Super, who's a Chinese American lady. Her name is Belle. I'd like to meet her again one day. I could almost see myself getting back into the game, doing her job...
But then there's all the ego and bullshit of that industry that I am SO OVER. And I'm happy with my job as a teacher/linguist/independent doc maker/writer. I'm proud of my friend for making her dream come true. I'm glad I got to be a small part of it.
The real downside to the day was that I was on my feet all day. Right now I am in a lot of pain - my feet and legs. I decided to walk to campus to at least pretend to do some work and get online. Of course tonight is A-Town's infamous Halloween street party, where people from all over the state gather to make merry and mayhem. Even as I was walking here at 4 in the afternoon, the porch parties were in full swing. So anyway, after that walk I don't know if I can handle walking home, but Bizarro doesn't get out until 10. Yipes. Maybe I'm stuck here?
Hopefully we'll got to Mr. Club's later, that is if bizarro is up to it after working all day. We'll see.
Recently we've been watching Red Dwarf on video (rescued from Bizarro's homestead last week). Really great stuff for letting your brain relax.
Hell's bells. I better get out of here before it gets dark and all the creeps come out.
ADDENDUM
Where the hell is this post? It's in my "Edit Posts" and I published but it's not showing up?!?!
Monday, October 25, 2004
Why can't it just be easy???
Not much time before Chinese class but I want to rant and rave about the fact that even after I spent all morning slaving away and getting a million different things done INCLUDING procuring a site liscense copy of Office XP for Bizarro's new laptop, I couldn't even manage to eat lunch without hassle. I only had about 25 minutes to order and eat, and after I got my order and sat down outside in the lovely sunshine, a horde of bees decended upon me. There were in my food, in my face, and eventually one of the stupid fuckers went into my prized bottle of Arizona Green Tea -- that stuff flies off the shelf at the Oasis and there was ONE bottle left. I had about three sips of it before the stupid-ass "gee this smells like a flower" bee took a nose dive. So I managed to pack up my lunch without any bee carcasses and high-tailed back to the office.
I'm in shitty mood now, having wolfed down my spicy hummus plate (with NOTHING TO DRINK) and now have to go to Chinese class.
I am hyper aware of the fact that Queen Bee (ahhhh maybe THAT's the connection) prolly got my letter today.
Not much time before Chinese class but I want to rant and rave about the fact that even after I spent all morning slaving away and getting a million different things done INCLUDING procuring a site liscense copy of Office XP for Bizarro's new laptop, I couldn't even manage to eat lunch without hassle. I only had about 25 minutes to order and eat, and after I got my order and sat down outside in the lovely sunshine, a horde of bees decended upon me. There were in my food, in my face, and eventually one of the stupid fuckers went into my prized bottle of Arizona Green Tea -- that stuff flies off the shelf at the Oasis and there was ONE bottle left. I had about three sips of it before the stupid-ass "gee this smells like a flower" bee took a nose dive. So I managed to pack up my lunch without any bee carcasses and high-tailed back to the office.
I'm in shitty mood now, having wolfed down my spicy hummus plate (with NOTHING TO DRINK) and now have to go to Chinese class.
I am hyper aware of the fact that Queen Bee (ahhhh maybe THAT's the connection) prolly got my letter today.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Bright and sunny
This title fairly well describes my disposition today. Got up at a reasonable hour, although I was still quite sleepy for some reason. Biked over to open meditation at the Dharma Study Group (DharmaSue and her hubby run that), then had a quick bike ride around the neighborhood just to get some exercise and soak up some sunshine.
Came home, ate kimchi and rice, took a shower and headed to school. I was supposed to crew for my friend who's making a short film this week, but she said she didn't really need me. So I'm "on call" but I'm hoping she doesn't end up needing me 'cause I have a bit of work to do today. But I will be crewing for her all day next Sat., which is when she really needs me. So I think it all works out.
Stayed home all day yesterday except for to drive home my friend Yumi, who came over to watch a movie. We had wanted to watch a Korean movie "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring" but the damned OU library didn't bother to check what Region this Korean DVD was, so we couldn't play it. We ended up watching a video copy of "Sliding Doors" which she had never seen.
These days I'm all about Indian films. Unfortuantely they are hard to find here in Athens. Mira Nair is my current idol in terms of filmmaking.
Welp, gotta get to work. More later, perhaps.
This title fairly well describes my disposition today. Got up at a reasonable hour, although I was still quite sleepy for some reason. Biked over to open meditation at the Dharma Study Group (DharmaSue and her hubby run that), then had a quick bike ride around the neighborhood just to get some exercise and soak up some sunshine.
Came home, ate kimchi and rice, took a shower and headed to school. I was supposed to crew for my friend who's making a short film this week, but she said she didn't really need me. So I'm "on call" but I'm hoping she doesn't end up needing me 'cause I have a bit of work to do today. But I will be crewing for her all day next Sat., which is when she really needs me. So I think it all works out.
Stayed home all day yesterday except for to drive home my friend Yumi, who came over to watch a movie. We had wanted to watch a Korean movie "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring" but the damned OU library didn't bother to check what Region this Korean DVD was, so we couldn't play it. We ended up watching a video copy of "Sliding Doors" which she had never seen.
These days I'm all about Indian films. Unfortuantely they are hard to find here in Athens. Mira Nair is my current idol in terms of filmmaking.
Welp, gotta get to work. More later, perhaps.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Done Deal
Today hasn't been the best of days. Lots of general annoyances, not the least of which was that the letter for Queen Bee was on a disk that no computer would read. I ended up typing it again (luckly I had a printout of two drafts ago). But it's signed, sealed and will be delivered to her doorstep prolly in a day or two. I spoke with Lama Kathy at length the other night about keeping myself clean in this whole mess, and also taking care of my own well-being. I don't know if there will be a backlash from that letter, but if so I am prepared. I've written a note to myself and attached it to my journal (the notebook, not the on line one) so that I can remind myself why it was appropriate and necessary to send the letter. Now I just want to move on.
Don't know if Mr. Club has heard from Bizarro who was supposed to call this morning and ask about getting together this evening. Hm.
This computer was down all day as the comp. tech guy installed Mac OSX. yay! I can read chinese characters, now!
Well I need to get outta here. Bizarro should be out of the diamond mines by now. His phone's acting up lately, I can't seem to get through to him.
Today hasn't been the best of days. Lots of general annoyances, not the least of which was that the letter for Queen Bee was on a disk that no computer would read. I ended up typing it again (luckly I had a printout of two drafts ago). But it's signed, sealed and will be delivered to her doorstep prolly in a day or two. I spoke with Lama Kathy at length the other night about keeping myself clean in this whole mess, and also taking care of my own well-being. I don't know if there will be a backlash from that letter, but if so I am prepared. I've written a note to myself and attached it to my journal (the notebook, not the on line one) so that I can remind myself why it was appropriate and necessary to send the letter. Now I just want to move on.
Don't know if Mr. Club has heard from Bizarro who was supposed to call this morning and ask about getting together this evening. Hm.
This computer was down all day as the comp. tech guy installed Mac OSX. yay! I can read chinese characters, now!
Well I need to get outta here. Bizarro should be out of the diamond mines by now. His phone's acting up lately, I can't seem to get through to him.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Maybe, perhaps, yes!
Today's title is from an old song by Kraftwork, which was a German electronica band of the 70s and early 80s.
I was having a good morning but then everything came to a screeching halt when I realized I'd ONCE AGAIN left my freaking lunch in the car. I managed to remember to pack my lunch but then on my way out of the car I simply spaced. I hate it when I do that!!!!! AND I left my wallet home because I had it out last night and didn't put it back into my bag. SO I called Bizarro and of course he didn't answer. I guessed he was in the liberry and found him with the earphones jammed into his head, listening to (guess what). Arrgh! But all's well that ends well. He's buying me lunch. :D
I have to study Chinese now. I'm really behind and feeling crummy about it.
Today's title is from an old song by Kraftwork, which was a German electronica band of the 70s and early 80s.
I was having a good morning but then everything came to a screeching halt when I realized I'd ONCE AGAIN left my freaking lunch in the car. I managed to remember to pack my lunch but then on my way out of the car I simply spaced. I hate it when I do that!!!!! AND I left my wallet home because I had it out last night and didn't put it back into my bag. SO I called Bizarro and of course he didn't answer. I guessed he was in the liberry and found him with the earphones jammed into his head, listening to (guess what). Arrgh! But all's well that ends well. He's buying me lunch. :D
I have to study Chinese now. I'm really behind and feeling crummy about it.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Feet don't fail me now!
This morning I went to my doc. about the pain I've been having in my feet, and also my plegm-o-matic sinuses. He dignosed me with Plantar's Faciitis, which is when the muscles in the bottom of the feet contract and pull where they attach to the heel. He said it isn't a severe case, and gave me some stretches to do. He also advised that when i'm not wearing my "good" shoes (i.e. the $113 Naots which I bought last month - they really have lessened the pain) I should wear a heel cup and arch support in my shoes/boots. For the parade-o-plegm he gave me some nasal sprays. Yippee.
So all is well with my 36 year old slightly beat up body.
Last night Bizarro and I were looking at our guest list - the one for the ideal reception that hopefully his parents might chip in for if we're lucky. So far 53 people, not counting anyone his family would want to invite (which is prolly all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc).
My Lama from the Buddhist center (Sangha) called me last night to talk about Queen Bee, but she called from a private number which didn't show up on my cell phone. I thought it was a telemarketer so I let it go to VM. DOH! So hopefully she'll call back tonight. Although I'm pretty happy with the letter I have ready to send, I really want Lama's advice on this (esp. since Queen Bee was once a member of the Sangha).
It's Wed., which is my soft day. No Chinese class, no OPIE class. Thank gawd. I can get some work done this afternoon.
Oh, remember the wealthy friend of mine/ours who lives across the road? The one who once upon a time felt our friendship was "one sided"? (What is it with people who don't realize how fucked up a person's life is in grad school???). Anyway, she's shooting her short film in the next week and I've agreed to be a PA for a day or two. It'll be so cool, to be back in that world for a couple days.
And speaking of grad school and work to be done...
Addendum-de-dum-dum
My most loathesome class this quarter - Pedagogical Grammar - just became more loathesome. Here we are, the end of Week 7 of the quarter, and the instructor tells us that we have a final project in place of a final exam. The final project is a huge-ass research project that will culminate either in a 20-30 page paper, or some kind of presentation in class. This is basically a pro-sem, which we are given an entire year to accomplish as a requirement for graduating. One of our elite squad memebers went to the graduate chair and complained, and 20 minutes later the graduate chair was in the office of the department director. This instructor is gonna get an ass-whuppin' (but he's Indonesian, and with the rather sizable and visible Selot (sp?) community in this tiny town, I'm not sure who'll be getting the ass-whuppin). Oh how I love departmental intrigue!
This morning I went to my doc. about the pain I've been having in my feet, and also my plegm-o-matic sinuses. He dignosed me with Plantar's Faciitis, which is when the muscles in the bottom of the feet contract and pull where they attach to the heel. He said it isn't a severe case, and gave me some stretches to do. He also advised that when i'm not wearing my "good" shoes (i.e. the $113 Naots which I bought last month - they really have lessened the pain) I should wear a heel cup and arch support in my shoes/boots. For the parade-o-plegm he gave me some nasal sprays. Yippee.
So all is well with my 36 year old slightly beat up body.
Last night Bizarro and I were looking at our guest list - the one for the ideal reception that hopefully his parents might chip in for if we're lucky. So far 53 people, not counting anyone his family would want to invite (which is prolly all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc).
My Lama from the Buddhist center (Sangha) called me last night to talk about Queen Bee, but she called from a private number which didn't show up on my cell phone. I thought it was a telemarketer so I let it go to VM. DOH! So hopefully she'll call back tonight. Although I'm pretty happy with the letter I have ready to send, I really want Lama's advice on this (esp. since Queen Bee was once a member of the Sangha).
It's Wed., which is my soft day. No Chinese class, no OPIE class. Thank gawd. I can get some work done this afternoon.
Oh, remember the wealthy friend of mine/ours who lives across the road? The one who once upon a time felt our friendship was "one sided"? (What is it with people who don't realize how fucked up a person's life is in grad school???). Anyway, she's shooting her short film in the next week and I've agreed to be a PA for a day or two. It'll be so cool, to be back in that world for a couple days.
And speaking of grad school and work to be done...
Addendum-de-dum-dum
My most loathesome class this quarter - Pedagogical Grammar - just became more loathesome. Here we are, the end of Week 7 of the quarter, and the instructor tells us that we have a final project in place of a final exam. The final project is a huge-ass research project that will culminate either in a 20-30 page paper, or some kind of presentation in class. This is basically a pro-sem, which we are given an entire year to accomplish as a requirement for graduating. One of our elite squad memebers went to the graduate chair and complained, and 20 minutes later the graduate chair was in the office of the department director. This instructor is gonna get an ass-whuppin' (but he's Indonesian, and with the rather sizable and visible Selot (sp?) community in this tiny town, I'm not sure who'll be getting the ass-whuppin). Oh how I love departmental intrigue!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Tuna on Wheat
That's my lunch today. Plus a bag of Munchies and some Arizona Green Tea. Mmmm.
Managed to get through this morning even though we got up really late and I knew I had to squeeze in a lot of work before Chinese class at 1:00 (I have about 15 minutes left of lunch).
Last night Bizarro and I stayed up until the wee hours penning (or pencilling, as it were) a letter to Queen Bee up in Columbus (as she will now be known - not to be confused with Sue Bee, which I shall rename as DharmaSue for clarity. Damn all this anonymity anyway!).
Bizarro was so very sweet and helpful, staying up with me and giving me very constructive feedback on how to phrase exactly what I meant, avoiding inflamatory language, etc. So I'm going to sit on the letter for a couple of days, look at it again tomorrow, and perhaps send it out on Friday or Thursday. If I send it Thursday she'll get it on Sat. probably. If I send it Friday she'll likely get it next Monday. Does that even matter? Maybe not. But I have to accept that if I send the letter, which is honest and lays it out pretty clearly, she may decide to dump the friendship entirely, rather than take the hiatus I suggest so that we can both figure out what we want out of this friendship. And as DharmaSue reminded me the other day, whatever response she may have is NOT my responsibility.
In analyzing myself throughout this experience, I have come to the conclusion that my own karmic lesson with all of this is perhaps to relieve myself of being so goddam responsible for other people's feelings all the time. By doing this, I have swallowed my own feelings / needs and often just end up feeling resentful, often to the point of just walking away. This extends beyond friendship into the work place. I can't tell you how many jobs I went through back when I was just trying to eek a living, before I had a calling or a goal. One job after another in which I sucked down abuse and incompetence, until finally I just reached a breaking point and quit the job. After a few of those on the ole' resume it starts to look fishy.
Anyway, I continue to pray that both QueenBee and myself get out of this situation what we need to, in terms of the friendship but more importantly in terms of lessons that are here.
Now I have to snark down my sammich and get to class.
That's my lunch today. Plus a bag of Munchies and some Arizona Green Tea. Mmmm.
Managed to get through this morning even though we got up really late and I knew I had to squeeze in a lot of work before Chinese class at 1:00 (I have about 15 minutes left of lunch).
Last night Bizarro and I stayed up until the wee hours penning (or pencilling, as it were) a letter to Queen Bee up in Columbus (as she will now be known - not to be confused with Sue Bee, which I shall rename as DharmaSue for clarity. Damn all this anonymity anyway!).
Bizarro was so very sweet and helpful, staying up with me and giving me very constructive feedback on how to phrase exactly what I meant, avoiding inflamatory language, etc. So I'm going to sit on the letter for a couple of days, look at it again tomorrow, and perhaps send it out on Friday or Thursday. If I send it Thursday she'll get it on Sat. probably. If I send it Friday she'll likely get it next Monday. Does that even matter? Maybe not. But I have to accept that if I send the letter, which is honest and lays it out pretty clearly, she may decide to dump the friendship entirely, rather than take the hiatus I suggest so that we can both figure out what we want out of this friendship. And as DharmaSue reminded me the other day, whatever response she may have is NOT my responsibility.
In analyzing myself throughout this experience, I have come to the conclusion that my own karmic lesson with all of this is perhaps to relieve myself of being so goddam responsible for other people's feelings all the time. By doing this, I have swallowed my own feelings / needs and often just end up feeling resentful, often to the point of just walking away. This extends beyond friendship into the work place. I can't tell you how many jobs I went through back when I was just trying to eek a living, before I had a calling or a goal. One job after another in which I sucked down abuse and incompetence, until finally I just reached a breaking point and quit the job. After a few of those on the ole' resume it starts to look fishy.
Anyway, I continue to pray that both QueenBee and myself get out of this situation what we need to, in terms of the friendship but more importantly in terms of lessons that are here.
Now I have to snark down my sammich and get to class.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Karma or just a bad connection?
So Bizarro and I went to Columbus on Saturday to hear Bardor Rinpoche speak. It was marvelous - a packed house and both he and the translator, Lama Yeshe, were in a good mood. The Friday before I had ridden up with a friend of mine from Athens to hear the public talk, which was full of levity and yet very poignant.
But Saturday's vibe was brought to a screeching halt when we went to visit this friend of mine. Suffice it to say that I'm ready to call it quits with this woman who seems SO needy, SO self-oriented and so completely unaware. I do care about what is going on with her, but I also have to care about my own sanity in the sense that I've given way too much to this person. So at this point I'm not questioning IF I need to end the relationship, but HOW. Do I send a well-crafted letter explaining it to her? Or do I just walk away from it and maybe try talking to her in a few weeks (at which point she'll be pissed because I haven't called her lately - I've already been accused of being "absent" when I got busy with grad school and didn't call for a couple weeks). It seems no matter what I do, it's never enough or good enough for her. *shrug*
In other news, I'm carrying a 96 average in my Chinese class. Hooray for me! I'm trying to figure out what to take next quarter but it's all FUBAR'd because the department has a few classes in conflict next quarter, so the schedule is up in the air. I have found a possible job opp at Syrause University's English Language Program for next year, so I feel strongly that having a class in teaching college writing would be good for me. Plus I love to write (although you'd never know it given that I've written nothing but papers for the last year and a half).
Anyway, gotta grab a coffee and head to class.
So Bizarro and I went to Columbus on Saturday to hear Bardor Rinpoche speak. It was marvelous - a packed house and both he and the translator, Lama Yeshe, were in a good mood. The Friday before I had ridden up with a friend of mine from Athens to hear the public talk, which was full of levity and yet very poignant.
But Saturday's vibe was brought to a screeching halt when we went to visit this friend of mine. Suffice it to say that I'm ready to call it quits with this woman who seems SO needy, SO self-oriented and so completely unaware. I do care about what is going on with her, but I also have to care about my own sanity in the sense that I've given way too much to this person. So at this point I'm not questioning IF I need to end the relationship, but HOW. Do I send a well-crafted letter explaining it to her? Or do I just walk away from it and maybe try talking to her in a few weeks (at which point she'll be pissed because I haven't called her lately - I've already been accused of being "absent" when I got busy with grad school and didn't call for a couple weeks). It seems no matter what I do, it's never enough or good enough for her. *shrug*
In other news, I'm carrying a 96 average in my Chinese class. Hooray for me! I'm trying to figure out what to take next quarter but it's all FUBAR'd because the department has a few classes in conflict next quarter, so the schedule is up in the air. I have found a possible job opp at Syrause University's English Language Program for next year, so I feel strongly that having a class in teaching college writing would be good for me. Plus I love to write (although you'd never know it given that I've written nothing but papers for the last year and a half).
Anyway, gotta grab a coffee and head to class.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Slicker than snot
This describes the inside of my nose and the back of my throat pretty well after having what seems like the flu for the last week.
Today I am feeling human again, finally. I taught my class this morning and am going to take a make-up quiz in Chinese on Monday since I only had one class this week and am totally not ready for it today. This evening I am riding up to Columbus with my friend Su-Bee to meet with BTR. Tomorrow Bizarro has off, so depending upon how we're both feeling we'll maybe do something interesting.
For now it's safe to say that I'm feeling much better, save for the constant phlegm parade in my head. *sigh*
This describes the inside of my nose and the back of my throat pretty well after having what seems like the flu for the last week.
Today I am feeling human again, finally. I taught my class this morning and am going to take a make-up quiz in Chinese on Monday since I only had one class this week and am totally not ready for it today. This evening I am riding up to Columbus with my friend Su-Bee to meet with BTR. Tomorrow Bizarro has off, so depending upon how we're both feeling we'll maybe do something interesting.
For now it's safe to say that I'm feeling much better, save for the constant phlegm parade in my head. *sigh*
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Over the River and Through the Trees...
I'm feeling better today, although still coughing and sneezing and wheezing. I seem to be over the fever, at least. Managed to get up and teach my 8 a.m. class.
I have a working theory about my on-going sick - that is that my immune system got trashed in China and so I'm just really weak and vulnerable to viruses and allergens here. Honestly, I don't know what else it can be. Although I've been somewhat stressed, I'm not NEARLY as stressed as I was last year at this time. I don't think my worries about the future are helping any, though. I'm just going to try to get back to focusing on the present and not worrying about the future. I just don't want to be blindsided by the future when all of a sudden the future is NOW and I'm still basking in the glow of "I graduated with this degree, ain't I swell?"
In any case, I am feeling a little more at ease today. If I can get this cold whipped and boost my immune system I'll be doing ok.
Last night talked to Lin, my T'ai Chi instructor from 10 years ago. She's in California these days. It was great to hear her voice and know that she's still doing her thing.
Welp, gotta grab some eats and hit the Language Lab for Chinese.
Addendum - 12:50 p.m.
If anyone knows of a good decongestant, whether herbal or otherwise, please let me know! My ears feel like I'm flying in a depressurized airplane.
On another note, I've realized recently that I have let quite a few friendships lapse into non-communicative states. This past Sunday was the former friend in Boston's birthday, and I guess thinking about that as an upcoming event made me realize that instead of pining for her, I should be resurrecting other friendships with people who have meant a great deal to me along the way. I contacted my other childhood friend, Kev, who also lives in the Boston area, and had a good chat with him. I'll invite him and his wife to our wedding reception, if such an event should take place. I also got in touch with my former Tae Kwon Do teacher from undergrad, who I've sort of kept in touch with sporadically over the years. He'll also be invited to said reception, and also his son who I used to practice with way back when he was a lil' whipper snapper with a mohawk. On Sat. I sent a note to the parents of a good friend of mine from the undergrad TKD days, a guy who I hung out with just as friends until he moved out of state and got married. He was a good friend to me - one of the few guys who could just be friends without sexual tension or other weirdnesses. He was instrumental in my early training in TKD, so I have a lot to be thankful to him for.
All this is to say that I am turning toward the relationships that have been positive and supportive, and mutually beneficial, and turning away from those which have either harmed me or have drained me and left me feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. Those are few in number, to be honest, but I intend to put my energies where they are most likely to be appreciated in a positive way, not a needy or manipulative way.
And now I must go to Chinese class. Zaijian!
I'm feeling better today, although still coughing and sneezing and wheezing. I seem to be over the fever, at least. Managed to get up and teach my 8 a.m. class.
I have a working theory about my on-going sick - that is that my immune system got trashed in China and so I'm just really weak and vulnerable to viruses and allergens here. Honestly, I don't know what else it can be. Although I've been somewhat stressed, I'm not NEARLY as stressed as I was last year at this time. I don't think my worries about the future are helping any, though. I'm just going to try to get back to focusing on the present and not worrying about the future. I just don't want to be blindsided by the future when all of a sudden the future is NOW and I'm still basking in the glow of "I graduated with this degree, ain't I swell?"
In any case, I am feeling a little more at ease today. If I can get this cold whipped and boost my immune system I'll be doing ok.
Last night talked to Lin, my T'ai Chi instructor from 10 years ago. She's in California these days. It was great to hear her voice and know that she's still doing her thing.
Welp, gotta grab some eats and hit the Language Lab for Chinese.
Addendum - 12:50 p.m.
If anyone knows of a good decongestant, whether herbal or otherwise, please let me know! My ears feel like I'm flying in a depressurized airplane.
On another note, I've realized recently that I have let quite a few friendships lapse into non-communicative states. This past Sunday was the former friend in Boston's birthday, and I guess thinking about that as an upcoming event made me realize that instead of pining for her, I should be resurrecting other friendships with people who have meant a great deal to me along the way. I contacted my other childhood friend, Kev, who also lives in the Boston area, and had a good chat with him. I'll invite him and his wife to our wedding reception, if such an event should take place. I also got in touch with my former Tae Kwon Do teacher from undergrad, who I've sort of kept in touch with sporadically over the years. He'll also be invited to said reception, and also his son who I used to practice with way back when he was a lil' whipper snapper with a mohawk. On Sat. I sent a note to the parents of a good friend of mine from the undergrad TKD days, a guy who I hung out with just as friends until he moved out of state and got married. He was a good friend to me - one of the few guys who could just be friends without sexual tension or other weirdnesses. He was instrumental in my early training in TKD, so I have a lot to be thankful to him for.
All this is to say that I am turning toward the relationships that have been positive and supportive, and mutually beneficial, and turning away from those which have either harmed me or have drained me and left me feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. Those are few in number, to be honest, but I intend to put my energies where they are most likely to be appreciated in a positive way, not a needy or manipulative way.
And now I must go to Chinese class. Zaijian!
Monday, October 11, 2004
Why so blue?
Other than the fact that it's Monday, I don't know why I'm feeling so down. Well okay, actually I've been sliding downhill every since Bizarro and this rents made up. Maybe like the anti-climax that is the day after Christmas? Anyway, I'm also sick again... or still... It's been a good 5 weeks of upper-respiratory misery. I had pretty much gotten (gotten? is that even a word) over my cold from LAST week and then yesterday I went rummaging around in my closet, pulling out a defunct sewing machine, a couple of tattered Halloween wind socks, and a big afghan that my mom mades years ago. well SOMETHING in that goddamn closet made my eyes practically swell shut and my throat felt like someone had taken freshly shorn wool and rubbed it all over my tonsils (I am allergic to wool). The afghan is NOT made of wool - it's totally man made fibers and I've used it for years without trouble. So that resulted in me being miserable for the rest of the day, and waking up this morning with a bona fide sore throat, severe congestion, headache, fatigue and etc etc etc etc.
It's like I have a severe allergic reaction to something and my immune system goes straight to hell in a handbasket and I manifest whatever virus has been beating down my door. Since Bizarro was sick at the END of last week, I assume this is his disease (same symptoms).
FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK. I am so sick of being sick!!! I have so much work to do and it's bad enough that my attitude has been in the crapper for the last two weeks, my body is following suit. I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna see my D.O. next week and he'll probably try to get me on some hippy-dippy homeopathic. The bun is in your mind!.
Yeah, right. Well I gotta get back to work. Maybe I'll go to the Hudson Stealth Clinic.
Other than the fact that it's Monday, I don't know why I'm feeling so down. Well okay, actually I've been sliding downhill every since Bizarro and this rents made up. Maybe like the anti-climax that is the day after Christmas? Anyway, I'm also sick again... or still... It's been a good 5 weeks of upper-respiratory misery. I had pretty much gotten (gotten? is that even a word) over my cold from LAST week and then yesterday I went rummaging around in my closet, pulling out a defunct sewing machine, a couple of tattered Halloween wind socks, and a big afghan that my mom mades years ago. well SOMETHING in that goddamn closet made my eyes practically swell shut and my throat felt like someone had taken freshly shorn wool and rubbed it all over my tonsils (I am allergic to wool). The afghan is NOT made of wool - it's totally man made fibers and I've used it for years without trouble. So that resulted in me being miserable for the rest of the day, and waking up this morning with a bona fide sore throat, severe congestion, headache, fatigue and etc etc etc etc.
It's like I have a severe allergic reaction to something and my immune system goes straight to hell in a handbasket and I manifest whatever virus has been beating down my door. Since Bizarro was sick at the END of last week, I assume this is his disease (same symptoms).
FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK. I am so sick of being sick!!! I have so much work to do and it's bad enough that my attitude has been in the crapper for the last two weeks, my body is following suit. I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna see my D.O. next week and he'll probably try to get me on some hippy-dippy homeopathic. The bun is in your mind!.
Yeah, right. Well I gotta get back to work. Maybe I'll go to the Hudson Stealth Clinic.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Mid Term Madness
In about 2 hours and 20 minutes I'll be taking my Chinese mid-term. So this entry will be short cause I gotta cram.
Gave my class their mid term in-class writing today. I have a ton of work to do for that class. About half of the class shouldn't even be in there - they still need more work on basic writing and even speaking skills. The other half who are ready for the level of composition work we're doing will be bored if I slow things down too much. Oy.
Yesterday gave a smashingly successful initial presentation for my pro sem proposal. Now I have to write the damned thing and fill out the tedious IRB forms. IRB is a joke for linguistic research. Anyway, I have to jump through this hoop so I'm just gonna get it done as soon as possible.
I'm really hoping Bizarro can get time off at T'giving for us to go to his parents' house. But then there's also Christmas, so god knows how he's gonna get time off for that too. I freaking hate retail !!!
Anyway, I need food and gotta study. One last thing - watched Monsoon Wedding last night for a break. I love that flick! I wanna see more Mira Nair movies!
In about 2 hours and 20 minutes I'll be taking my Chinese mid-term. So this entry will be short cause I gotta cram.
Gave my class their mid term in-class writing today. I have a ton of work to do for that class. About half of the class shouldn't even be in there - they still need more work on basic writing and even speaking skills. The other half who are ready for the level of composition work we're doing will be bored if I slow things down too much. Oy.
Yesterday gave a smashingly successful initial presentation for my pro sem proposal. Now I have to write the damned thing and fill out the tedious IRB forms. IRB is a joke for linguistic research. Anyway, I have to jump through this hoop so I'm just gonna get it done as soon as possible.
I'm really hoping Bizarro can get time off at T'giving for us to go to his parents' house. But then there's also Christmas, so god knows how he's gonna get time off for that too. I freaking hate retail !!!
Anyway, I need food and gotta study. One last thing - watched Monsoon Wedding last night for a break. I love that flick! I wanna see more Mira Nair movies!
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Mind tinking!
Regarding Bizarro's blow up in the car yesterday (for a full account visit his blog)... recently (as in the past year or two) I've been thinking a lot about the Buddhist concept of reality vs. perceived reality. Ego has a lot to do with how we perceive reality. We think and feel in terms of how a situation or person impacts our righteous selves. We often see things in terms of "how am I getting fucked here?" Gawd only knows I do this all the damn time -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to I.O.U. (my new name for O.U.) as you might have noticed.
But the point is... how can I, how can anyone, get a grip on this instant reaction of "how am I getting fucked here?" I don't want to be the eternal victim always overreacting to every little thing, thinking that the entire world is nothin' but assholes, pricks, bitches and shit heads. That is no way to live. That is no way to be at peace with oneself or the world.
Neither do I want to be rolled over and taken advantage of, however. So what's a girl to do? Well I've been doing this Buddhist meditation thing for awhile, and though I'm lazy at putting aside time to "sit" as well call it, I have found that watching my mind and allowing my mind to come to rest does in fact allow me to remain calm in the face of potential anger-induced ego-puffing. So maybe I only get mad at the dirty dishes once in a week instead of 5 times. Or maybe I only get in a snit about IOU once a day instead of 5 times a day. I know that if I were to practice more, to sit more often, my mind would continue to become more tame.
This creates a sense of confidence -- as I (tried to ) describe to Bizarro yesterday in the car yesterday after his steering wheel-pounding-obscenity-screaming-overreaction-defending scene, it's better to radiate a sense of "you can't fuck with me" rather than a sense of "you don't wanna fuck with me." Being in that state of peace of mind allows a person to better handle situations as they arise, including setting boundaries, and not having to defend anything to anyone. But it also means that only a small fraction of the shit that would normally get your goat will have any effect on you.
At any rate, this is what I'm striving for in my own life, because I have my own anger issues. Maybe similar to Bizarro, I often felt powerless and was at the mercy of others' tempers and bad manners when I was a kid. As an adult I was left with a feeling of needing to be uber-critical of the entire world around me (as well as myself) thereby putting a lot of ridiculous expectations up there to be knocked down time after time. Gradually this resulted in me feeling like there was something wrong with ME. When in fact, the only thing wrong was my perception of the world and the people in it. Of course people do stupid shit, of course people are ignorant... but I also try to separate the things people do from the people themselves. This gets into karma and actions, and the innate Buddha nature of all beings... but that's another discussion for another day.
I struggle everyday with perfectionism - and this causes a lot of frustration and anger that I must find ways of dealing with. So far the only thing I have discovered that even comes close to working for me is shinay meditation.
And on that note... I have to do some work on my pro seminar paper.
Regarding Bizarro's blow up in the car yesterday (for a full account visit his blog)... recently (as in the past year or two) I've been thinking a lot about the Buddhist concept of reality vs. perceived reality. Ego has a lot to do with how we perceive reality. We think and feel in terms of how a situation or person impacts our righteous selves. We often see things in terms of "how am I getting fucked here?" Gawd only knows I do this all the damn time -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to I.O.U. (my new name for O.U.) as you might have noticed.
But the point is... how can I, how can anyone, get a grip on this instant reaction of "how am I getting fucked here?" I don't want to be the eternal victim always overreacting to every little thing, thinking that the entire world is nothin' but assholes, pricks, bitches and shit heads. That is no way to live. That is no way to be at peace with oneself or the world.
Neither do I want to be rolled over and taken advantage of, however. So what's a girl to do? Well I've been doing this Buddhist meditation thing for awhile, and though I'm lazy at putting aside time to "sit" as well call it, I have found that watching my mind and allowing my mind to come to rest does in fact allow me to remain calm in the face of potential anger-induced ego-puffing. So maybe I only get mad at the dirty dishes once in a week instead of 5 times. Or maybe I only get in a snit about IOU once a day instead of 5 times a day. I know that if I were to practice more, to sit more often, my mind would continue to become more tame.
This creates a sense of confidence -- as I (tried to ) describe to Bizarro yesterday in the car yesterday after his steering wheel-pounding-obscenity-screaming-overreaction-defending scene, it's better to radiate a sense of "you can't fuck with me" rather than a sense of "you don't wanna fuck with me." Being in that state of peace of mind allows a person to better handle situations as they arise, including setting boundaries, and not having to defend anything to anyone. But it also means that only a small fraction of the shit that would normally get your goat will have any effect on you.
At any rate, this is what I'm striving for in my own life, because I have my own anger issues. Maybe similar to Bizarro, I often felt powerless and was at the mercy of others' tempers and bad manners when I was a kid. As an adult I was left with a feeling of needing to be uber-critical of the entire world around me (as well as myself) thereby putting a lot of ridiculous expectations up there to be knocked down time after time. Gradually this resulted in me feeling like there was something wrong with ME. When in fact, the only thing wrong was my perception of the world and the people in it. Of course people do stupid shit, of course people are ignorant... but I also try to separate the things people do from the people themselves. This gets into karma and actions, and the innate Buddha nature of all beings... but that's another discussion for another day.
I struggle everyday with perfectionism - and this causes a lot of frustration and anger that I must find ways of dealing with. So far the only thing I have discovered that even comes close to working for me is shinay meditation.
And on that note... I have to do some work on my pro seminar paper.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Just another manic Tuesday
Yesterday I was feeling ill with a cold, stayed home half the day. Today feeling a little better in the morning but by 12:30 I was hittin the skids again. Practically fell asleep in Chinese class - not because I was bored but because I felt like shite. Afterward, went up to the 6th floor of the library and found myself a little settee upon which to nap for 20-25 minutes. Feeling somewhat refreshed, sat in my Research Methods class with a cup o Joe and took copious notes about Unaccusative verbs.
I have a shitload of work this week. Taking lots of Cold -Eeze and Advil Cold to get me through. Thank gawd I don't have to teach at 8 a.m. tomorrow. I can sleep in and hopefully be feeling spry for afternoon class and lots of work to be done.
Tonight I want to watch the movie Osama. Bizarro brought it home for me yesterday but by the time he got home it was already 10 and I couldn't stay up so late. We watched Chris Rock and I fell asleep on the couch (after doing copious amounts of grading student work and Chinese homework).
I really hope we can visit Mr. and Mrs. Bizarro (aka Bmom and Bdad -- she said to call them mom and dad!!) at Thanksgiving time. I want to meet Bizarro's sister, (I'll call her R&B - yes it stands for something but I won't get into that now).
Had the opportunity to chat on-line with the Bulgarian teacher who graduated from my program last year, who was in China with me this past summer. I also got a note from ScarfGirl, the teacher I bonded with so well over there. All in all, I'm missing my daze there - being a student sucks rocks!
Last night had to bring my plants in off the patio - it was cold enough for frost! Tonight too, it will be cold. This morning we fired up the brazier for the first time this season. I hate the cold. Why the frick are we moving to Upstate NY again???
Bizarro's on his way over here as I write this. Gotta gather my things for the evening and get outta Dodge.
Yesterday I was feeling ill with a cold, stayed home half the day. Today feeling a little better in the morning but by 12:30 I was hittin the skids again. Practically fell asleep in Chinese class - not because I was bored but because I felt like shite. Afterward, went up to the 6th floor of the library and found myself a little settee upon which to nap for 20-25 minutes. Feeling somewhat refreshed, sat in my Research Methods class with a cup o Joe and took copious notes about Unaccusative verbs.
I have a shitload of work this week. Taking lots of Cold -Eeze and Advil Cold to get me through. Thank gawd I don't have to teach at 8 a.m. tomorrow. I can sleep in and hopefully be feeling spry for afternoon class and lots of work to be done.
Tonight I want to watch the movie Osama. Bizarro brought it home for me yesterday but by the time he got home it was already 10 and I couldn't stay up so late. We watched Chris Rock and I fell asleep on the couch (after doing copious amounts of grading student work and Chinese homework).
I really hope we can visit Mr. and Mrs. Bizarro (aka Bmom and Bdad -- she said to call them mom and dad!!) at Thanksgiving time. I want to meet Bizarro's sister, (I'll call her R&B - yes it stands for something but I won't get into that now).
Had the opportunity to chat on-line with the Bulgarian teacher who graduated from my program last year, who was in China with me this past summer. I also got a note from ScarfGirl, the teacher I bonded with so well over there. All in all, I'm missing my daze there - being a student sucks rocks!
Last night had to bring my plants in off the patio - it was cold enough for frost! Tonight too, it will be cold. This morning we fired up the brazier for the first time this season. I hate the cold. Why the frick are we moving to Upstate NY again???
Bizarro's on his way over here as I write this. Gotta gather my things for the evening and get outta Dodge.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Annyong Haseyo!
Today's title is Korean for Hello! (polite form). Last night our movie was a Korean flick called "My Sassy Girl" (I highly recommend it BTW) and it totally made me miss Korea. I really think of Ulsan, Korea as my second home. It's not much bigger than Columbus but it holds so much for me. Today, I tried emailing my Korean friend who was my roommate for awhile, but her inbox is apparently full so it bounce. I also emailed a Canadian teacher friend of mine who was my good buddy while I was over there (she's now in Seoul) but HER freaking inbox is full too.
Anyway, the news of the week is, of course, that I met Bizarro's parents in a very unplanned and stressful scenario. All's well that ends well, however. Their reunion with Bizarro (after 2 years of being estranged) was very moving, and they seem to love me (quite a feat after his last girfriend, apparently). I think they are adorable and very funny. Even in the short time we spent together, I started seeing all kinds of things that clearly explained certain -isms of Bizarro. For instance, Bizarro always insists on parking in the nearest possible parking space, even if it means driving around the parking lot and wasting time when we could have already walked there and been inside. His dad did this same thing outside the Bob Evans. Two spots were 3 spots away from each other, and his wife suggested the one closest to us. But no, he had to swerve the car to get the one closest to the door. I looked at Bizarro in that moment and he wore this triumphant "SEE?" expression on his face. It was hilarious. I look forward to many more of those moments.
So now this huge healing has taken place and our lives are forever changed. Bizarro's whole countenence his lightened, his mood has shifted. I realize now with its absence, there was a dark gloom that always seemed to hover. We're hoping his folks send us to the Philippines for our honeymoon, and then we can jaunt over to Korea for a few days. We'll see!
After the debacle which was yesterday, today is going along ok. Did some laundry and will bring home work to do so I can take a day off from Gordy Hall. I have papers to grade and stuff to write for classes, not to mention Chinese to study. Bizarro reminded me that financial woes aren't so bad when there's two of us to tackle the problem, and I feel better about things. Mostly I was pissed at myself because I had chosen a payroll option (more or less) and forgotten the consequences. Ah well...
Welp, I've about chomped through an hour and 20 on this here computer, so it's high time I get my buns in gear and get some work done.
Happy belated Chinese National Day (Oct. 1)!!
Today's title is Korean for Hello! (polite form). Last night our movie was a Korean flick called "My Sassy Girl" (I highly recommend it BTW) and it totally made me miss Korea. I really think of Ulsan, Korea as my second home. It's not much bigger than Columbus but it holds so much for me. Today, I tried emailing my Korean friend who was my roommate for awhile, but her inbox is apparently full so it bounce. I also emailed a Canadian teacher friend of mine who was my good buddy while I was over there (she's now in Seoul) but HER freaking inbox is full too.
Anyway, the news of the week is, of course, that I met Bizarro's parents in a very unplanned and stressful scenario. All's well that ends well, however. Their reunion with Bizarro (after 2 years of being estranged) was very moving, and they seem to love me (quite a feat after his last girfriend, apparently). I think they are adorable and very funny. Even in the short time we spent together, I started seeing all kinds of things that clearly explained certain -isms of Bizarro. For instance, Bizarro always insists on parking in the nearest possible parking space, even if it means driving around the parking lot and wasting time when we could have already walked there and been inside. His dad did this same thing outside the Bob Evans. Two spots were 3 spots away from each other, and his wife suggested the one closest to us. But no, he had to swerve the car to get the one closest to the door. I looked at Bizarro in that moment and he wore this triumphant "SEE?" expression on his face. It was hilarious. I look forward to many more of those moments.
So now this huge healing has taken place and our lives are forever changed. Bizarro's whole countenence his lightened, his mood has shifted. I realize now with its absence, there was a dark gloom that always seemed to hover. We're hoping his folks send us to the Philippines for our honeymoon, and then we can jaunt over to Korea for a few days. We'll see!
After the debacle which was yesterday, today is going along ok. Did some laundry and will bring home work to do so I can take a day off from Gordy Hall. I have papers to grade and stuff to write for classes, not to mention Chinese to study. Bizarro reminded me that financial woes aren't so bad when there's two of us to tackle the problem, and I feel better about things. Mostly I was pissed at myself because I had chosen a payroll option (more or less) and forgotten the consequences. Ah well...
Welp, I've about chomped through an hour and 20 on this here computer, so it's high time I get my buns in gear and get some work done.
Happy belated Chinese National Day (Oct. 1)!!
Friday, October 01, 2004
Poop on a stick
Man how time flies! I've forgotten everything about blogging. Ah well.
Today royally sucked ass. Everything I tried to do ended up with a stinky smell all too reminiscant of dog poo poo. Culminating with the opening of my pay stub from OU, which was $200 short of what it oughta be. Long story short, OU changed their blah blah deal with your financial aid and billing procedures this year. Everything was done on line, I didn't even sign a contract for my T.A. position. Apprently I clicked on something that said fees and insurance would be deducted from my paycheck instead of out of student loans.... which explains the surprise $522 overage refund that showed up in the middle of the month. That money is now GONE because I just figured it was OU screwing up, not realizing it was actually student loan money that was refunded because those fees would be deducted from my pay. So now I'm fucked.
And instead of wallowing at home with a good book or something, I'm here at school because I'm an officer of the LSOU (department student group) and I helped organize a movie night. Which starts in 20 mins. I'll get the movie going and then I'm out of here.
So much stupid shit today on top of this - crapped all over a Chinese quiz, drove out to see a friend (the one who lives near Mr. Club) only to be stood up, had a terrible class this morning (I teach at 8 a.m. this quarter) and had to buy the fixins' for the movie night (popcorn and cider) at the Diamond Mine-- where of course it's the 1st of the month so everyone in the county was there at 5:30 buying groceries. Went through Bizarro's line. Poor guy. He could tell I was upset. Couldn't tell him the whole story so I just said "OU strikes again." FUCKERS!
I should be feeling happy and relieved after meeting his parents this week. But today I just feel like I wanna put my foot through a wall. I really do love his folks. Their reunion was very moving, and I am very happy for Bizarro, who kept saying all day on Wednesday "I have a family again!"
Well I gotta start popping the corn I guess. Blarg.
Man how time flies! I've forgotten everything about blogging. Ah well.
Today royally sucked ass. Everything I tried to do ended up with a stinky smell all too reminiscant of dog poo poo. Culminating with the opening of my pay stub from OU, which was $200 short of what it oughta be. Long story short, OU changed their blah blah deal with your financial aid and billing procedures this year. Everything was done on line, I didn't even sign a contract for my T.A. position. Apprently I clicked on something that said fees and insurance would be deducted from my paycheck instead of out of student loans.... which explains the surprise $522 overage refund that showed up in the middle of the month. That money is now GONE because I just figured it was OU screwing up, not realizing it was actually student loan money that was refunded because those fees would be deducted from my pay. So now I'm fucked.
And instead of wallowing at home with a good book or something, I'm here at school because I'm an officer of the LSOU (department student group) and I helped organize a movie night. Which starts in 20 mins. I'll get the movie going and then I'm out of here.
So much stupid shit today on top of this - crapped all over a Chinese quiz, drove out to see a friend (the one who lives near Mr. Club) only to be stood up, had a terrible class this morning (I teach at 8 a.m. this quarter) and had to buy the fixins' for the movie night (popcorn and cider) at the Diamond Mine-- where of course it's the 1st of the month so everyone in the county was there at 5:30 buying groceries. Went through Bizarro's line. Poor guy. He could tell I was upset. Couldn't tell him the whole story so I just said "OU strikes again." FUCKERS!
I should be feeling happy and relieved after meeting his parents this week. But today I just feel like I wanna put my foot through a wall. I really do love his folks. Their reunion was very moving, and I am very happy for Bizarro, who kept saying all day on Wednesday "I have a family again!"
Well I gotta start popping the corn I guess. Blarg.
Friday, August 27, 2004
I'm back after a couple months with the Jade Monkey and her Adventures. China was everything and nothing like I thought it would be.
At this point we're on vacation at Ma's house, in the city where Mark Twain is buried. After a rough trip getting here - we thought we'd be bobo and take the scenic route which then added a good 3 hours to the trip complete with poorly marked routes and detours - we have settled into a relaxing, inspiring week in Upstate NY.
Yesterday we went to Ithaca and enjoyed the fine weather, vibes, a great hair cut for Bizarro.
(NOTE: For some reason I saved this as a draft and then never posted it. So here it is.)
At this point we're on vacation at Ma's house, in the city where Mark Twain is buried. After a rough trip getting here - we thought we'd be bobo and take the scenic route which then added a good 3 hours to the trip complete with poorly marked routes and detours - we have settled into a relaxing, inspiring week in Upstate NY.
Yesterday we went to Ithaca and enjoyed the fine weather, vibes, a great hair cut for Bizarro.
(NOTE: For some reason I saved this as a draft and then never posted it. So here it is.)
Sunday, July 04, 2004
I can't believe it - in two days I'll be en route to the People's Republic of China!
While I am of course excited, I also dread the thought of 6 weeks away from Bizarro, my dearest friend and partner for life. sigh
This past week has been frenetic with getting lesson plans finished, visiting people and trying to spend quality time with Bizarro. I was able to go out for a drink with that friend who'd given me a hard time last week, and actually we had a good visit. Of course, Bizarro thinks it's just a lull in the storm, and as soon as I step one toenail over the line (whatever line she's drawn in her head), I'll be in the doghouse again. Maybe, maybe not. But for now I'm content and don't have to worry about it, as long as we remember to get my land-lady's paper while they're all on vacation.
Wednesday night our friends from school came over and we watched Barbershop 2. It was fun (the movie and hanging out), but also kind of sad 'cause they're moving to D.C. at the end of the summer, so they'll be gone when I get back from China. The woman, Kay, was my office mate this year and she was a good friend to me. Her husband, who is from Chile, got along with Bizarro very well. We will miss them.
On Thursday we went to a dinner hosted by my Japanese students from Spring quarter. They cooked up a wonderful meal and we had a good time. Sometimes it can be awkward since their English is limited as far as party conversation, and of course we speak no Japanese (except thank you and hello). But because they'd been my students it was relaxed and enjoyable. They liked meeting my fiance, too, I think.
After we left the dinner party, we headed over to Mr. Club and Catwoman's house for some Cranium (girls won, AGAIN). Mr. Club made me a mean strawberry rum drink, and he just about killed himself and Bizarro with those nasty-ass gin martinis. Bizarro was VERY hungover the next day, and I was a bit so myself, which sucked for my last day of tutoring. Anyway, after lunch on Friday, Bizarro and I spent a lovely afternoon in a paddle boat at the local state park (although, we had to escape the hunt of the Geesen). It's a beautiful area up there, I'm sure if I was going to be around this summer I'd be spending more time around the lake.
Friday night was... hm... what did we do? I think we just hung out at the apartment. mmm...why can't I remember? He must've slipped me some rufies in my ice water again, dammit.
Yesterday was all about finishing work for Wuhan, and then I picked Bizarro up just in time to watch the lame-o fireworks from the parking lot of the Diamond Factory. Bizarro had a running analogy of the fireworks and bad sex...where the fireworks are really lame (impotent) and then maybe at the half-way through there's a little burst (when the guy is thinking of someone else)... and then of course the 3 second finale.
So yeah, it was pretty sad, especially having grown up near Boston, where fireworks on the 4th of July are serious business. Not just IN Boston on the Charles River, but in the suburbs, like Abington where we used to go. Kick-ass fireworks shows with finales that last 4-5 minutes. Ah...those were the days. When we got home last night we started a game of Scrabble but I was too wiped to finish, so we hit the hay.
This morning I lolled around with my lil' cramps while Bizarro beat me at that Scrabble game, followed by a 2nd game which we haven't finished (but I'm ahead). He's working now and after I pick him up tonight we have to come to my office and record a movie review -- the last part of my Listening materials for Wuhan. Hopefully we'll finish the Scrabble game and I can try to stay up late, to get myself half-way to being on "China time" (13 hours ahead, same as Korea). That means I'll have to take a nap this afternoon, which believe me won't be hard!
My plan for tomorrow is to sleep late, stay home and relax all day. My friend S.E. will pick me up for T'ai Chi around 6:00, and then after that I'm going to try to get to sleep early. We have to get up around 3:00 a.m. to be on the road by 3:30, in order to be at the airport by 5:15 (2 hours before my flight leaves at 7:15). YIPES!!
I won't have internet access in China until we get to the University, which won't be for a couple days after landing in Beijing. We'll be staying in Beijing, seeing the Great Wall, Forbidden City, and the Summer Palace, and then taking a train to Wuhan on Friday night. Maybe over next weekend I'll have the first chance to email and blog. phew! Perhaps I should get an international phone card so I can call Don and Mom after I arrive in Beijing... hmm.
I am really getting excited for this trip, and meeting all the new people over there. This has been a lifelong dream of mine - going to China. Many years ago I had a dream of being on a train and seeing the Chinese countryside going by. Looks like it will become a reality soon enough!
I expect that the teachers will bond tightly (I've already started on email) and that we'll be a good support for each other over there. As I've said before, I'm dreading the super-heated oven weather. But hey, I'll have Air Con in my room, whereas here we only have windows and fans at home now! So maybe I'll be more comfortable (though without my Bizarro to snuggle, I will be lonely at night). <:(
Next time, I'll be in China. Wow!
While I am of course excited, I also dread the thought of 6 weeks away from Bizarro, my dearest friend and partner for life. sigh
This past week has been frenetic with getting lesson plans finished, visiting people and trying to spend quality time with Bizarro. I was able to go out for a drink with that friend who'd given me a hard time last week, and actually we had a good visit. Of course, Bizarro thinks it's just a lull in the storm, and as soon as I step one toenail over the line (whatever line she's drawn in her head), I'll be in the doghouse again. Maybe, maybe not. But for now I'm content and don't have to worry about it, as long as we remember to get my land-lady's paper while they're all on vacation.
Wednesday night our friends from school came over and we watched Barbershop 2. It was fun (the movie and hanging out), but also kind of sad 'cause they're moving to D.C. at the end of the summer, so they'll be gone when I get back from China. The woman, Kay, was my office mate this year and she was a good friend to me. Her husband, who is from Chile, got along with Bizarro very well. We will miss them.
On Thursday we went to a dinner hosted by my Japanese students from Spring quarter. They cooked up a wonderful meal and we had a good time. Sometimes it can be awkward since their English is limited as far as party conversation, and of course we speak no Japanese (except thank you and hello). But because they'd been my students it was relaxed and enjoyable. They liked meeting my fiance, too, I think.
After we left the dinner party, we headed over to Mr. Club and Catwoman's house for some Cranium (girls won, AGAIN). Mr. Club made me a mean strawberry rum drink, and he just about killed himself and Bizarro with those nasty-ass gin martinis. Bizarro was VERY hungover the next day, and I was a bit so myself, which sucked for my last day of tutoring. Anyway, after lunch on Friday, Bizarro and I spent a lovely afternoon in a paddle boat at the local state park (although, we had to escape the hunt of the Geesen). It's a beautiful area up there, I'm sure if I was going to be around this summer I'd be spending more time around the lake.
Friday night was... hm... what did we do? I think we just hung out at the apartment. mmm...why can't I remember? He must've slipped me some rufies in my ice water again, dammit.
Yesterday was all about finishing work for Wuhan, and then I picked Bizarro up just in time to watch the lame-o fireworks from the parking lot of the Diamond Factory. Bizarro had a running analogy of the fireworks and bad sex...where the fireworks are really lame (impotent) and then maybe at the half-way through there's a little burst (when the guy is thinking of someone else)... and then of course the 3 second finale.
So yeah, it was pretty sad, especially having grown up near Boston, where fireworks on the 4th of July are serious business. Not just IN Boston on the Charles River, but in the suburbs, like Abington where we used to go. Kick-ass fireworks shows with finales that last 4-5 minutes. Ah...those were the days. When we got home last night we started a game of Scrabble but I was too wiped to finish, so we hit the hay.
This morning I lolled around with my lil' cramps while Bizarro beat me at that Scrabble game, followed by a 2nd game which we haven't finished (but I'm ahead). He's working now and after I pick him up tonight we have to come to my office and record a movie review -- the last part of my Listening materials for Wuhan. Hopefully we'll finish the Scrabble game and I can try to stay up late, to get myself half-way to being on "China time" (13 hours ahead, same as Korea). That means I'll have to take a nap this afternoon, which believe me won't be hard!
My plan for tomorrow is to sleep late, stay home and relax all day. My friend S.E. will pick me up for T'ai Chi around 6:00, and then after that I'm going to try to get to sleep early. We have to get up around 3:00 a.m. to be on the road by 3:30, in order to be at the airport by 5:15 (2 hours before my flight leaves at 7:15). YIPES!!
I won't have internet access in China until we get to the University, which won't be for a couple days after landing in Beijing. We'll be staying in Beijing, seeing the Great Wall, Forbidden City, and the Summer Palace, and then taking a train to Wuhan on Friday night. Maybe over next weekend I'll have the first chance to email and blog. phew! Perhaps I should get an international phone card so I can call Don and Mom after I arrive in Beijing... hmm.
I am really getting excited for this trip, and meeting all the new people over there. This has been a lifelong dream of mine - going to China. Many years ago I had a dream of being on a train and seeing the Chinese countryside going by. Looks like it will become a reality soon enough!
I expect that the teachers will bond tightly (I've already started on email) and that we'll be a good support for each other over there. As I've said before, I'm dreading the super-heated oven weather. But hey, I'll have Air Con in my room, whereas here we only have windows and fans at home now! So maybe I'll be more comfortable (though without my Bizarro to snuggle, I will be lonely at night). <:(
Next time, I'll be in China. Wow!
Friday, June 25, 2004
by the way, I just took Bizarro's "which kung fu star are you" quiz and it turns out that I'm Jackie Chan. Could be worse - coulda been Van Damme.
I like Jackie Chan, especially in the old days when his hair was longer and flailed around more.
I should've been Bruce Lee, though. YEAH doesn't everyone say that??
I like Jackie Chan, especially in the old days when his hair was longer and flailed around more.
I should've been Bruce Lee, though. YEAH doesn't everyone say that??
I have been commanded to post something, so here I am.
It's been a long fucking stupid week. Last night was nice - mr. club and his wife catwoman met us at Landru's (drink coffee...it is the will of Landru...you are not of the body!!..Lawgiver!!!!) and from a lively talk about our favorite childhood TV shows we went to T-Bones for a drink (I had Jameson's straight up...mmm... warmth...). Then they came over and sat on our deck while Bizarro scarfed pizza and I bitched and moaned about a situation with one of my friends that cropped up this week - the same friend that Bizarro goes on about her connections with college deans and local bobos.
In short, she's been dropping nasty hints about me not inviting her to my dinky apartment and when I finally cornered her on why she's been being a bitch to me, it came out that we've had a "one-sided" relationship because she's always being generous and I haven't (apparently) been reciprocating. Now, usually I'm not accustomed to using a ledger sheet to determine the value of a friendshp but apparently that's her style. What a Republican thing to do!! Anyway, so I tried to kindly remind her of all the times she blew me off when we had made plans but apparently that didn't register in her otherwise long memory. So basically I apologzied and we agreed to move on from here - my suggestion was that we BOTH - meaning SHE as well as myself - try to be better and making and keeping our dates and that I'd make an effort not to be so scatterbrained about following through with things I promise to do.
See, the thing is... (heh)... seriously, I am usually way too over-taxed with things to do and people to see. I suck at multi-tasking. During the school year, I don't see ANY of my friends very often, so why she should get special treatment is ... well... it's because she's helped me in getting the apartment and she also loaned me money (which as been paid back in full since last fucking november). So I guess that means I owe her my first born?
I often feel very stressed out about being stretched too thin between my classes, teaching, and other personal reaponsibilites. If I don't write something down, I forget it 2 seconds after i've agreed to do it. it's just part of my charm, so people are gonna have to fuckin' GET USED TO IT!!.
In other news, I'm working hard on my lesson plans for China. I did send another letter to Korea, this time to Daegu University, but I've heard nothing so it looks like I'll be applying to teach in Taiwan in 2005. well, at least I'll be able to study some kick-ass T'ai Chi there. And it'll be easy to take Chinese at school in the fall (there are no Korean classes so I'd have to cobble together an accaptable language-program). Plus, I've never been to Taiwan so it'll be cool. Most importantly, they have hot springs there so I can indulge in the public baths the way I did in Korea. Bizarro can come too and we can have a BIG AMERICAN PAHHHTY!!!.
Anyway, it's time I'm outta here. Gotta pick up Bizarro at 10:00 from the diamond factory. Mr. Club - hope you're happy now!!
It's been a long fucking stupid week. Last night was nice - mr. club and his wife catwoman met us at Landru's (drink coffee...it is the will of Landru...you are not of the body!!..Lawgiver!!!!) and from a lively talk about our favorite childhood TV shows we went to T-Bones for a drink (I had Jameson's straight up...mmm... warmth...). Then they came over and sat on our deck while Bizarro scarfed pizza and I bitched and moaned about a situation with one of my friends that cropped up this week - the same friend that Bizarro goes on about her connections with college deans and local bobos.
In short, she's been dropping nasty hints about me not inviting her to my dinky apartment and when I finally cornered her on why she's been being a bitch to me, it came out that we've had a "one-sided" relationship because she's always being generous and I haven't (apparently) been reciprocating. Now, usually I'm not accustomed to using a ledger sheet to determine the value of a friendshp but apparently that's her style. What a Republican thing to do!! Anyway, so I tried to kindly remind her of all the times she blew me off when we had made plans but apparently that didn't register in her otherwise long memory. So basically I apologzied and we agreed to move on from here - my suggestion was that we BOTH - meaning SHE as well as myself - try to be better and making and keeping our dates and that I'd make an effort not to be so scatterbrained about following through with things I promise to do.
See, the thing is... (heh)... seriously, I am usually way too over-taxed with things to do and people to see. I suck at multi-tasking. During the school year, I don't see ANY of my friends very often, so why she should get special treatment is ... well... it's because she's helped me in getting the apartment and she also loaned me money (which as been paid back in full since last fucking november). So I guess that means I owe her my first born?
I often feel very stressed out about being stretched too thin between my classes, teaching, and other personal reaponsibilites. If I don't write something down, I forget it 2 seconds after i've agreed to do it. it's just part of my charm, so people are gonna have to fuckin' GET USED TO IT!!.
In other news, I'm working hard on my lesson plans for China. I did send another letter to Korea, this time to Daegu University, but I've heard nothing so it looks like I'll be applying to teach in Taiwan in 2005. well, at least I'll be able to study some kick-ass T'ai Chi there. And it'll be easy to take Chinese at school in the fall (there are no Korean classes so I'd have to cobble together an accaptable language-program). Plus, I've never been to Taiwan so it'll be cool. Most importantly, they have hot springs there so I can indulge in the public baths the way I did in Korea. Bizarro can come too and we can have a BIG AMERICAN PAHHHTY!!!.
Anyway, it's time I'm outta here. Gotta pick up Bizarro at 10:00 from the diamond factory. Mr. Club - hope you're happy now!!
Monday, June 21, 2004
Monday, June 14, 2004
Okay I'm back. I realize it's a been awhile and my most recent posts have been quick and sloppy with not a whole lot of human interest.
On being engaged....
It's a feeling every girl dreams of and yearns for. In my case, I had pretty much considered myself a single-for-the-rest-of-my-life-and-that's-okay kind of woman. Then I met Bizarro through his website while I was in Korea, and after he met me at the airport, well...that was that! Being engaged, as cool as it is, really hasn't changed anything. Just an official statement to the world, really. The ring itself is loaded with history and sentimental importance, coming from my mother who had it set with diamonds from her wedding and engagement rings after dad passed away. That is the coolest part, really, feeling part of my family tradition, even if we aren't going to have a traditional wedding.
On going to China...
A dream come true! Despite all the stupid shit and poor pedagogy, I am thrilled at this opportunity to travel to China, with (almost) all expenses paid. And because it's only for 6 weeks, I'm hoping that everything that is bad will not seem so bad. Everything that is good will seem better. The only downside, of course, is being away from Bizarro for 6 weeks. That part's gonna suck rocks. Really. A lot.
Okay, NOW I really have to go eat.
On being engaged....
It's a feeling every girl dreams of and yearns for. In my case, I had pretty much considered myself a single-for-the-rest-of-my-life-and-that's-okay kind of woman. Then I met Bizarro through his website while I was in Korea, and after he met me at the airport, well...that was that! Being engaged, as cool as it is, really hasn't changed anything. Just an official statement to the world, really. The ring itself is loaded with history and sentimental importance, coming from my mother who had it set with diamonds from her wedding and engagement rings after dad passed away. That is the coolest part, really, feeling part of my family tradition, even if we aren't going to have a traditional wedding.
On going to China...
A dream come true! Despite all the stupid shit and poor pedagogy, I am thrilled at this opportunity to travel to China, with (almost) all expenses paid. And because it's only for 6 weeks, I'm hoping that everything that is bad will not seem so bad. Everything that is good will seem better. The only downside, of course, is being away from Bizarro for 6 weeks. That part's gonna suck rocks. Really. A lot.
Okay, NOW I really have to go eat.
The quarter is over, I've begun tutoring and working on my lesson plans for China. And still debating what to do for Fulbright.
I sent a letter to EPIK (English Program In Korea) to ask about possible sponsorship for my Fulbright proposal and they had not idea what I was talking about. They thought I was trying to contact Fulbright and sent back an apologetic email saying "we're sorry to inform you that you have reached the wrong party..." Sooooo I wrote back and tried to explain that in fact I had reached the right party, etc. etc. etc. A week later I wrote again to confirm receipt of my letter and follow up, and so far no response. I'll give them til the end of the week then I'll contact a university in Korea for my project. If I can't get any bites by the end of June I'll be applying for a teaching assistantship in Taiwan instead.
The job in Wuhan becomes increasingly stressful each week. Today - JUST today - our coordinator bothered to finally tell us what immunizations we need. I called the health department on my own to find out basically all I need is a Hep A shot. What sucks is that Hep A actually comes in two parts, with a month between. But she said that the first one is 95% effective and that I should get it at least two weeks before leaving. So that means it has to be this week. Wednesday Bizarro and I are going up to Columbus to stay with some friends, so on the way I'll juststop off at Lancaster and get my Hep A. $25 for the shot, and a $20 "administrative fee".
Tutoring my Korean student is as difficult as it was back in December. She's trying to take the TSE and has been for about a year - with poor results each time. She insists on studying "For" the test (a damned hard thing to for standardized tests of spoken English) instead of working on her English skills. If she'd spent the last year working on pronunciation and learning more natural American English expressions, she'd be in much better shape for her test on July 10. Oy vey. At least I'm getting paid. Not well, but better than nothing. And this time she's paying me for whatever work I bring home. That's a good thing, because last time I did a shitload of prep work at home and making sample tests for her to practice with and I got paid only for the time I spent in her home.
Anyway, so all is going as well as I expected thus far. It's so great not to have classes and be crammed with work. Yay!
Saturday night we had a little soiree for my friends from school to say good bye to those going back to their home countries etc. Only a few people showed up, which was fine. It made me clean my house so now I don't have to worry about cleaning! Unfortuantely, one of my guests walked through the screen door to the patio and completely knocked it off the tracks. So now it only sorta kinda works. Coulda been worse tho, the screen could have been ripped out of the frame and we'd really be screwed. She felt bad, too, poor thing. Embarrassed as hell, as you can imagine. All night everyone kept getting confused by the presence of a screen in that door because it wasn't very visible. I dunno.
Well it's time for me to get my snack on and my drink on. It's 2:10 and I haven't eaten anything but breakfast and a couple cookies at my tutee's house. La la la...
I sent a letter to EPIK (English Program In Korea) to ask about possible sponsorship for my Fulbright proposal and they had not idea what I was talking about. They thought I was trying to contact Fulbright and sent back an apologetic email saying "we're sorry to inform you that you have reached the wrong party..." Sooooo I wrote back and tried to explain that in fact I had reached the right party, etc. etc. etc. A week later I wrote again to confirm receipt of my letter and follow up, and so far no response. I'll give them til the end of the week then I'll contact a university in Korea for my project. If I can't get any bites by the end of June I'll be applying for a teaching assistantship in Taiwan instead.
The job in Wuhan becomes increasingly stressful each week. Today - JUST today - our coordinator bothered to finally tell us what immunizations we need. I called the health department on my own to find out basically all I need is a Hep A shot. What sucks is that Hep A actually comes in two parts, with a month between. But she said that the first one is 95% effective and that I should get it at least two weeks before leaving. So that means it has to be this week. Wednesday Bizarro and I are going up to Columbus to stay with some friends, so on the way I'll juststop off at Lancaster and get my Hep A. $25 for the shot, and a $20 "administrative fee".
Tutoring my Korean student is as difficult as it was back in December. She's trying to take the TSE and has been for about a year - with poor results each time. She insists on studying "For" the test (a damned hard thing to for standardized tests of spoken English) instead of working on her English skills. If she'd spent the last year working on pronunciation and learning more natural American English expressions, she'd be in much better shape for her test on July 10. Oy vey. At least I'm getting paid. Not well, but better than nothing. And this time she's paying me for whatever work I bring home. That's a good thing, because last time I did a shitload of prep work at home and making sample tests for her to practice with and I got paid only for the time I spent in her home.
Anyway, so all is going as well as I expected thus far. It's so great not to have classes and be crammed with work. Yay!
Saturday night we had a little soiree for my friends from school to say good bye to those going back to their home countries etc. Only a few people showed up, which was fine. It made me clean my house so now I don't have to worry about cleaning! Unfortuantely, one of my guests walked through the screen door to the patio and completely knocked it off the tracks. So now it only sorta kinda works. Coulda been worse tho, the screen could have been ripped out of the frame and we'd really be screwed. She felt bad, too, poor thing. Embarrassed as hell, as you can imagine. All night everyone kept getting confused by the presence of a screen in that door because it wasn't very visible. I dunno.
Well it's time for me to get my snack on and my drink on. It's 2:10 and I haven't eaten anything but breakfast and a couple cookies at my tutee's house. La la la...
Saturday, June 05, 2004
A day for blogging...
Yesterday was special, in more ways than one. First, it was my father's birthday. Remembering my dad on his birthday is a more important way to remember him than by the date of his death, I think. It's more joyful, which is how I remember him alive.
Don didn't know it was dad's birthday when he decided to propose to me yesterday, however. This was something I told him later in the day, and although I suspected and hoped that last night was THE night for popping the question, I didn't quite know what to expect.
As it turned out, I was (am) still sick and our plans to see Harry Potter were thwarted. We tried to go to Yun Palace (his idea, formed around a plan to propose outside the restaurant, unbeknownst to me) but it was 9:35 already and they closed at 10:00. We tried to go to th new Japanese restaurant in town but they were closed. We ended up at "BDubs" and watched Friday Night Fights while scarfing wings. From there we rented a movie and all the while he was making noises about "going out" after the movie, or whatever, without me. By the time we got home, I was thoroughly bummed out and feeling pouty. So there I was, moping around, sitting on the edge of the bed, and he came over... and after explaining what he had hoped to do for a proposal earlier in the day... asked me to marry him and pulled the ring out of his pocket. *sigh*
I'm in la-la-land today, and it ain't just the Tussin DM I'm taking for my cough!
Finally.. engaged and knowing for sure that this one is THE ONE and I have no more worries about being alone or mistreated ever again.
I have quite a packed summer coming up, but with this ring... I feel a new fount of inspiration...
And now it's back to work with me...
Yesterday was special, in more ways than one. First, it was my father's birthday. Remembering my dad on his birthday is a more important way to remember him than by the date of his death, I think. It's more joyful, which is how I remember him alive.
Don didn't know it was dad's birthday when he decided to propose to me yesterday, however. This was something I told him later in the day, and although I suspected and hoped that last night was THE night for popping the question, I didn't quite know what to expect.
As it turned out, I was (am) still sick and our plans to see Harry Potter were thwarted. We tried to go to Yun Palace (his idea, formed around a plan to propose outside the restaurant, unbeknownst to me) but it was 9:35 already and they closed at 10:00. We tried to go to th new Japanese restaurant in town but they were closed. We ended up at "BDubs" and watched Friday Night Fights while scarfing wings. From there we rented a movie and all the while he was making noises about "going out" after the movie, or whatever, without me. By the time we got home, I was thoroughly bummed out and feeling pouty. So there I was, moping around, sitting on the edge of the bed, and he came over... and after explaining what he had hoped to do for a proposal earlier in the day... asked me to marry him and pulled the ring out of his pocket. *sigh*
I'm in la-la-land today, and it ain't just the Tussin DM I'm taking for my cough!
Finally.. engaged and knowing for sure that this one is THE ONE and I have no more worries about being alone or mistreated ever again.
I have quite a packed summer coming up, but with this ring... I feel a new fount of inspiration...
And now it's back to work with me...
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Moving Right Along...
It's Sunday, the day before Memorial Day. Thank gawd we have tomorrow off from classes. This gives me a chance to take a breath and get some other things done whilst simultaneously staying on top of skool work. Yesterday I did some house kleenin' and some skook work, but was wiped out by 10:00. Of course, Bizarro wanted to go out but I was in no shape to do so. I've been fighting the cold-thing that he has, and I appear to feel worse at night and first thing in the morning. So last night I was all about drinking tea and hanging out. Thankfully, Bizarro stayed home with me. He's such a doll! Then he woke up coughing at 6 a.m. and took some NyQuil pills (NyQuil NyQuil NyQuil, we love you, you giant fucking "Q"). Needless to say he's a zombie at work today. Poor guy.
I went to the gym today! There were like 20 people in the whole building, it was great. Did some speed walkin' and some stationary cyclin' and even found the remnants of the MMAClub standing around the Combative Arts Room, so I punched the bag and did some T'ai Chi. Say, Mr. Club, why weren't YOU there?? HHmmmmm??? Steven was there with three other women from the club whose names I've either never learned or forgotten.
Oh, and one more testament to O.U.'s cheap-ass incompetence: the Ping center (campus gym) is not available for summer use to students registered for Fall quarter. Fuckers. I can't help but keep comparing this place to R.I.T. where I did my MFA. The athletic facilities were decent (and the women's locker room had all kinds of accoutrements, including a sauna!) and we paid LESS in fees. *sigh*
My grand plan for tonight - kleen out the fridge and defrost the freezer (which is currently frozen shut - it's one o' those tiny freezers in a tiny fridge. Not the "cube" fridge but the midget fridge). Then I'm gonna make some melon salad and fix me up some Udon noodles for din din, and watch one of the Korean movies I rented today. Then later tonight maybe I'll get some more work done.
Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!
It's Sunday, the day before Memorial Day. Thank gawd we have tomorrow off from classes. This gives me a chance to take a breath and get some other things done whilst simultaneously staying on top of skool work. Yesterday I did some house kleenin' and some skook work, but was wiped out by 10:00. Of course, Bizarro wanted to go out but I was in no shape to do so. I've been fighting the cold-thing that he has, and I appear to feel worse at night and first thing in the morning. So last night I was all about drinking tea and hanging out. Thankfully, Bizarro stayed home with me. He's such a doll! Then he woke up coughing at 6 a.m. and took some NyQuil pills (NyQuil NyQuil NyQuil, we love you, you giant fucking "Q"). Needless to say he's a zombie at work today. Poor guy.
I went to the gym today! There were like 20 people in the whole building, it was great. Did some speed walkin' and some stationary cyclin' and even found the remnants of the MMAClub standing around the Combative Arts Room, so I punched the bag and did some T'ai Chi. Say, Mr. Club, why weren't YOU there?? HHmmmmm??? Steven was there with three other women from the club whose names I've either never learned or forgotten.
Oh, and one more testament to O.U.'s cheap-ass incompetence: the Ping center (campus gym) is not available for summer use to students registered for Fall quarter. Fuckers. I can't help but keep comparing this place to R.I.T. where I did my MFA. The athletic facilities were decent (and the women's locker room had all kinds of accoutrements, including a sauna!) and we paid LESS in fees. *sigh*
My grand plan for tonight - kleen out the fridge and defrost the freezer (which is currently frozen shut - it's one o' those tiny freezers in a tiny fridge. Not the "cube" fridge but the midget fridge). Then I'm gonna make some melon salad and fix me up some Udon noodles for din din, and watch one of the Korean movies I rented today. Then later tonight maybe I'll get some more work done.
Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!
Thursday, May 27, 2004
11 Days and Counting...
I haven't had any time for blogging. Too much to do. It's been a stressful week and promises to continue in the same way for the next two weeks.
Bizarro promises I'll have my ring "very very soon". This means days, I think. Could it be???
Both Bizarro and I have been feeling ill lately. I can't allow myself to get sick, too much to do. I'm sure that means I'll fall over half dead in 11 days. Oy.
So tired....
gotta go write a paper
I haven't had any time for blogging. Too much to do. It's been a stressful week and promises to continue in the same way for the next two weeks.
Bizarro promises I'll have my ring "very very soon". This means days, I think. Could it be???
Both Bizarro and I have been feeling ill lately. I can't allow myself to get sick, too much to do. I'm sure that means I'll fall over half dead in 11 days. Oy.
So tired....
gotta go write a paper
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Are we there, yet?
So I went to Columbus yesterday for the Wuhan program training/orientation/let's make a deal session. It was great to meet everyone, but man, oh, man. Wuhan has us doing this crazy-ass pedagogically unsound schedule that mimicks my experience in Korea: they don't realize that just spending time with a native speaker of English isn't enough to promote real language learning. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Essentially, the Wuhan people wanted 400 students to rotate through 20 teachers in 20 days. If you're any good at math you will realize that this means with a class size of about 20, each teacher will see each class only ONCE in the entire 20 days. What's even more screwed up is the first speaker we had yesterday was this earnest teacher who'd spent a lot of time in China, and who had wonderful and sound advice for all of us -- which has to be tossed right out the window in light of the fact that we will be teaching random shit to random classes with no continuity, no valid form of assessment, no personal relationships, etc.
I call it a "let's make a deal" session because nearly everything we as teachers wanted to do was in conflict with the mandate from the Wuhan people. Essentially, our point person here (who is Chinese) has to go to Wuhan and try to negotiate the entire structure of the program. We proposed that at the veryleast, each teacher should have one class for one full day, and cover all the topics and skills needed. This means that each teacher would be teaching the SAME LESSON for 20 DAYS to 20 classes. Still not very good, but a bit better than Wuhan's stupid-ass idea.
Anyway, so we'll see how it all irons out. We've another meeting on June 19th in Columbus, and by that time school will be done so I should be able to focus more on preparing.
I am still excited about going to China, but I'm starting to get nervous about the actual teaching part of it. I'm just going to go with the intention of doing my best and not worrying about shit I can't change. What I'm really worried about is how freaking hot it's going to be, and whether or not I'll be able to handle it. Thankfully there's air con in the living quarters and classroom building, but any time spent outside on the weekends might be tough. I'm going to invest in a good water bottle to bring with me.
Well, now it's time to get some work done. I am going to a friend's house to watch the season finale of Alias tonight, so I best get something done before then.
So I went to Columbus yesterday for the Wuhan program training/orientation/let's make a deal session. It was great to meet everyone, but man, oh, man. Wuhan has us doing this crazy-ass pedagogically unsound schedule that mimicks my experience in Korea: they don't realize that just spending time with a native speaker of English isn't enough to promote real language learning. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Essentially, the Wuhan people wanted 400 students to rotate through 20 teachers in 20 days. If you're any good at math you will realize that this means with a class size of about 20, each teacher will see each class only ONCE in the entire 20 days. What's even more screwed up is the first speaker we had yesterday was this earnest teacher who'd spent a lot of time in China, and who had wonderful and sound advice for all of us -- which has to be tossed right out the window in light of the fact that we will be teaching random shit to random classes with no continuity, no valid form of assessment, no personal relationships, etc.
I call it a "let's make a deal" session because nearly everything we as teachers wanted to do was in conflict with the mandate from the Wuhan people. Essentially, our point person here (who is Chinese) has to go to Wuhan and try to negotiate the entire structure of the program. We proposed that at the veryleast, each teacher should have one class for one full day, and cover all the topics and skills needed. This means that each teacher would be teaching the SAME LESSON for 20 DAYS to 20 classes. Still not very good, but a bit better than Wuhan's stupid-ass idea.
Anyway, so we'll see how it all irons out. We've another meeting on June 19th in Columbus, and by that time school will be done so I should be able to focus more on preparing.
I am still excited about going to China, but I'm starting to get nervous about the actual teaching part of it. I'm just going to go with the intention of doing my best and not worrying about shit I can't change. What I'm really worried about is how freaking hot it's going to be, and whether or not I'll be able to handle it. Thankfully there's air con in the living quarters and classroom building, but any time spent outside on the weekends might be tough. I'm going to invest in a good water bottle to bring with me.
Well, now it's time to get some work done. I am going to a friend's house to watch the season finale of Alias tonight, so I best get something done before then.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Is you is, or is you ain't?
Dig this: I tried to back out of going to that training/ orientation session tomorrow, but I was "highly encouraged" by the director of this program to attend. The way he worded the email, it sounded as if he thinks I need a 5 hour teacher-training workshop! Dude, I'm in a highly respected M.A. program in Linguistics and TESOL! I guess, according to one of my profs here, OSU Foreign Languages etc. people don't recognize that we have classes in pedagogy, etc. to offer the TESOL certificate. Because it's not run through the Education department, and because we aren't qualified to teach in public schools, apparently they don't think much of us.
Fie on them! I'll show 'em what for! So I'm going tomorrow, and so is the other MA student who's been hired. We agreed that it's better to go, and I got an extension on one of my papers so I can squeeze this in. Phew!!
It also sounded like they want us to actually help design the course content, which I didn't realize, since they listed a bunch of text books to be used. I figured they'd worked it all out, but apparently not. Freaks. So really they want us there to work, not to be trained or oriented! Interesting, since the stipend is so small...
Well, no offense meant to anyone, but this is consistent with my experiences working in East Asia (at least with language education). Someone is always trying to get something for nothing...really it's about work ethic, and the differences in expectations that cultures have. I'm just surprised that this is happening with someone who's been in the U.S. for years and works in an American university culture. Ah well.. I better get used to it if I want to do a Fulbright in Korea! :D
So it's off to Columbus with me tomorrow. Right now I'm meeting a friend out for a drink. She lives across the street from me but I never see her. Bizarro sees her more often when she comes into the store than I do!
TGIF (again)
Dig this: I tried to back out of going to that training/ orientation session tomorrow, but I was "highly encouraged" by the director of this program to attend. The way he worded the email, it sounded as if he thinks I need a 5 hour teacher-training workshop! Dude, I'm in a highly respected M.A. program in Linguistics and TESOL! I guess, according to one of my profs here, OSU Foreign Languages etc. people don't recognize that we have classes in pedagogy, etc. to offer the TESOL certificate. Because it's not run through the Education department, and because we aren't qualified to teach in public schools, apparently they don't think much of us.
Fie on them! I'll show 'em what for! So I'm going tomorrow, and so is the other MA student who's been hired. We agreed that it's better to go, and I got an extension on one of my papers so I can squeeze this in. Phew!!
It also sounded like they want us to actually help design the course content, which I didn't realize, since they listed a bunch of text books to be used. I figured they'd worked it all out, but apparently not. Freaks. So really they want us there to work, not to be trained or oriented! Interesting, since the stipend is so small...
Well, no offense meant to anyone, but this is consistent with my experiences working in East Asia (at least with language education). Someone is always trying to get something for nothing...really it's about work ethic, and the differences in expectations that cultures have. I'm just surprised that this is happening with someone who's been in the U.S. for years and works in an American university culture. Ah well.. I better get used to it if I want to do a Fulbright in Korea! :D
So it's off to Columbus with me tomorrow. Right now I'm meeting a friend out for a drink. She lives across the street from me but I never see her. Bizarro sees her more often when she comes into the store than I do!
TGIF (again)
Back in Black
It's been a few days. All week, to be exact. A very busy week, being Week 8 and having loads of work to do. But now I seem to have everything under control, and have decided not to go to Columbus for that Wuhan orientation meeting.
Last night talked to mom, and she is still very sick with a horrible chest cold. The docs put her on med for the congestion but it didn't help after a couple days, so they did a chest x-ray yesterday. I'm waiting to find out what's going on with that today. I expect the x-ray will be clear, that she just has a really bad cold that will take another week to clear up. Poor thing, she can't sleep because of the coughing, and as of last night she didn't have food left for dinner. Today she'll have a friend help her get groceries, I hope. This is exactly why I want to move back to NY, and why I'm still not sure if I'll go overseas even if I do get a Fulbright scholarship.
Bizarro promises me that I'll be getting my ring "very very soon". :D
It's sad but that's all I have to say even after a week of silence. TGIF, that's all.
It's been a few days. All week, to be exact. A very busy week, being Week 8 and having loads of work to do. But now I seem to have everything under control, and have decided not to go to Columbus for that Wuhan orientation meeting.
Last night talked to mom, and she is still very sick with a horrible chest cold. The docs put her on med for the congestion but it didn't help after a couple days, so they did a chest x-ray yesterday. I'm waiting to find out what's going on with that today. I expect the x-ray will be clear, that she just has a really bad cold that will take another week to clear up. Poor thing, she can't sleep because of the coughing, and as of last night she didn't have food left for dinner. Today she'll have a friend help her get groceries, I hope. This is exactly why I want to move back to NY, and why I'm still not sure if I'll go overseas even if I do get a Fulbright scholarship.
Bizarro promises me that I'll be getting my ring "very very soon". :D
It's sad but that's all I have to say even after a week of silence. TGIF, that's all.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Something witty this way comes
Well, not really, but it sounded cool for a title... It's Sunday late afternoon, and I'm here on campus trying to get some work done. I managed to get quite a bit of work accomplished at home today, which was amazing considering that I was tired and a teensy weensy bit hung over from going out with Bizarro last night. I was inside ALL freaking day yesterday, and got most of nothing done anyway, and was bummed that I missed the International Street Fair (in the rain). Bizarro came home from work around 9:15, and since Mr. and Mrs. Club weren't up for doing anything, I talked Bizarro into going out for a drink. As usual, he changed outfits three more times than I did in preparation for going out. Heh. As usual, I moaned about not having jeans that really fit me since I put on so much weight after coming home from Korea last summer.
Anyway, we went uptown and had a couple drinks at what has become our favorite place (the only non-frat boy obnoxious college binge establishment that actually looks and feels like a pub). Bizarro had his requisite hot dog from O'Betty's (well, two of them, actually) and I found out to my delight that they also sell tofu meatless dogs. I don't eat beef, see, and usually I avoid the "lips and assholes" of hotdog meat. Unfortunately I didn't have enough cashwad to buy one, so that'll have to wait for next time.
So today is a working hard day, with only three weeks left of the quarter I have a shitload of work to do, and next Sat I'll be in Columbus for the Wuhan training session (I'm repeating myself, aren't I?)
All is well ~ can't complain. Well, except for Iraq. And Afghanistan. And a bunch of other places.
Om mani padme hum.
Well, not really, but it sounded cool for a title... It's Sunday late afternoon, and I'm here on campus trying to get some work done. I managed to get quite a bit of work accomplished at home today, which was amazing considering that I was tired and a teensy weensy bit hung over from going out with Bizarro last night. I was inside ALL freaking day yesterday, and got most of nothing done anyway, and was bummed that I missed the International Street Fair (in the rain). Bizarro came home from work around 9:15, and since Mr. and Mrs. Club weren't up for doing anything, I talked Bizarro into going out for a drink. As usual, he changed outfits three more times than I did in preparation for going out. Heh. As usual, I moaned about not having jeans that really fit me since I put on so much weight after coming home from Korea last summer.
Anyway, we went uptown and had a couple drinks at what has become our favorite place (the only non-frat boy obnoxious college binge establishment that actually looks and feels like a pub). Bizarro had his requisite hot dog from O'Betty's (well, two of them, actually) and I found out to my delight that they also sell tofu meatless dogs. I don't eat beef, see, and usually I avoid the "lips and assholes" of hotdog meat. Unfortunately I didn't have enough cashwad to buy one, so that'll have to wait for next time.
So today is a working hard day, with only three weeks left of the quarter I have a shitload of work to do, and next Sat I'll be in Columbus for the Wuhan training session (I'm repeating myself, aren't I?)
All is well ~ can't complain. Well, except for Iraq. And Afghanistan. And a bunch of other places.
Om mani padme hum.
Friday, May 14, 2004
This is Cooling
The above is a lyric from Tori Amos. I'm listening to her live CD from the to venus and back set. At one time in my life I was a huge Tori fanatic. I've lost the fanaticism, but I definitely still enjoy her mysterious, emotional sounds. Haven't bought an album in a couple years and it's been since 1999 since I last saw her on tour, I think. I first saw her on the Dew Drop Inn tour for Boys for Pele album, back when it was her, the piano, a harpsichord and the mic. These days she does her thing with a band behind her, which is okay, but I still like the old days. Even though she usually does a set without "the boys" it's just not the same. I met her on three occasions, at the pre-show Meet n Greets. These days she's mobbed with tons of teenagers with their bad red hair dye jobs and angstfilled poetry, or dressed as fairies. Hmph.
Anyway, it's Friday evening, just after 6:30. Just finished writing the article review I'd forgotten about until the last minute. Oops. I have 5 big projects due in the next three weeks. Two of them are for my Indoctrination Class (colonialism is bad, white people are bad...) so those will be mostly B.S. But the other three are linguistic masterpieces waiting to happen.
Not sure what the rest of the evening will bring. Bizarro works until 9 p.m. and then I have a feeling we'll sit around drinking and watching a movie. who knows, maybe Mr. Club will call... but I have T'ai Chi at 8 a.m. so I can't get all crazy. Tomorrow is the International Street Fair, which closes International Week here at O.U. I'm sure I'll have to check out the parade. But then I have to get some work done. Blech.
Guess I'll meander on home and feed my fishies.
The above is a lyric from Tori Amos. I'm listening to her live CD from the to venus and back set. At one time in my life I was a huge Tori fanatic. I've lost the fanaticism, but I definitely still enjoy her mysterious, emotional sounds. Haven't bought an album in a couple years and it's been since 1999 since I last saw her on tour, I think. I first saw her on the Dew Drop Inn tour for Boys for Pele album, back when it was her, the piano, a harpsichord and the mic. These days she does her thing with a band behind her, which is okay, but I still like the old days. Even though she usually does a set without "the boys" it's just not the same. I met her on three occasions, at the pre-show Meet n Greets. These days she's mobbed with tons of teenagers with their bad red hair dye jobs and angstfilled poetry, or dressed as fairies. Hmph.
Anyway, it's Friday evening, just after 6:30. Just finished writing the article review I'd forgotten about until the last minute. Oops. I have 5 big projects due in the next three weeks. Two of them are for my Indoctrination Class (colonialism is bad, white people are bad...) so those will be mostly B.S. But the other three are linguistic masterpieces waiting to happen.
Not sure what the rest of the evening will bring. Bizarro works until 9 p.m. and then I have a feeling we'll sit around drinking and watching a movie. who knows, maybe Mr. Club will call... but I have T'ai Chi at 8 a.m. so I can't get all crazy. Tomorrow is the International Street Fair, which closes International Week here at O.U. I'm sure I'll have to check out the parade. But then I have to get some work done. Blech.
Guess I'll meander on home and feed my fishies.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Lovely day
It's Thursday around 1:00. Classes are done for the week, now I can get some work done for the next couple days.
The Wuhan Univ. job is starting to take form. I received a schedule and materials list, and I've requested to be assigned to the "Film/Video Club." The schedule is reasonable and looks like it is very pedagogically sound, as far as the skills, topics, and club sessions.
We have a training/orientation session on the 22nd up in Columbus. This means, unfortunately, that I can't go to my friends' wedding on that same day, but it was doubtful whether I could have afforded the gas or time to drive up to Cleveland (4 hours away), anyway. I'll see my friends next month, at least.
I'm also working on an idea for the Fulbright program - to produce that training video. When I thought about it, teaching elementary school kids in Taiwan really isn't in line with my career goals. I want to work with university students or adults, and I definitely want to see my video production background used in developing materials for teaching. SO I'm starting to research possibilities for going to KOREA, which is really where I want to be, more than Taiwan. Wish me luck!
I have an hour to kill before my Chinese lesson. Guess I'll do some reading.
It's Thursday around 1:00. Classes are done for the week, now I can get some work done for the next couple days.
The Wuhan Univ. job is starting to take form. I received a schedule and materials list, and I've requested to be assigned to the "Film/Video Club." The schedule is reasonable and looks like it is very pedagogically sound, as far as the skills, topics, and club sessions.
We have a training/orientation session on the 22nd up in Columbus. This means, unfortunately, that I can't go to my friends' wedding on that same day, but it was doubtful whether I could have afforded the gas or time to drive up to Cleveland (4 hours away), anyway. I'll see my friends next month, at least.
I'm also working on an idea for the Fulbright program - to produce that training video. When I thought about it, teaching elementary school kids in Taiwan really isn't in line with my career goals. I want to work with university students or adults, and I definitely want to see my video production background used in developing materials for teaching. SO I'm starting to research possibilities for going to KOREA, which is really where I want to be, more than Taiwan. Wish me luck!
I have an hour to kill before my Chinese lesson. Guess I'll do some reading.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
What's the Buzz?
I'm happy to report that mom is doing fine. It appears that her heart and arteries are doing great. THey don't know why she was having the symptoms from last week, but they changed her medication. She has Lupus, so it's always having weird effects on the umpteen medications she has to take for all the other stuff (thyroid, hypertension, pain meds, etc.).
Turns out that my sister-in-law is now in the hospital with congestive heart failure, due to her diabetes situation. I think they have to adjust her insulin...over all she's healthy and young, so she should be okay.
Well that's all I have time for now. I'm just so relieved about mom...
Now I can focus on finishing the quarter.
I'm happy to report that mom is doing fine. It appears that her heart and arteries are doing great. THey don't know why she was having the symptoms from last week, but they changed her medication. She has Lupus, so it's always having weird effects on the umpteen medications she has to take for all the other stuff (thyroid, hypertension, pain meds, etc.).
Turns out that my sister-in-law is now in the hospital with congestive heart failure, due to her diabetes situation. I think they have to adjust her insulin...over all she's healthy and young, so she should be okay.
Well that's all I have time for now. I'm just so relieved about mom...
Now I can focus on finishing the quarter.
Monday, May 10, 2004
Blogger changed all the formatting but on a Mac I can't use the buttons for formatting. Rats. Why'd they have to go and change stuff. I HATE CHANGE.
Mom's in the hospital and might need major surgery. She's been in all weekend and I've been a nervous wreck, especially with the Sprint network problem all weekend. Anyway, we're waiting for the results of a test on her carotid arteries. If they are seriously occluded (blocked) then the docs want to do surgery, in which case I will be putting everything on hold here and shuffling off to Elmira NY.
I'm frustrated with my bro. He didn't bother to tell my nephew anything about mom being in the hospital, so when he found out by a comment I made in an email, he had no idea what was going on. Sheesh. When will my 52 year old brother ever grow the fuck UP?
Anyway, I need to get home now and make sure my little fishies haven't boiled alive in their tank. I'll call mom tonight and see if she's heard anything more, then call my nephew and try to keep him up to date.
It never ends...
Mom's in the hospital and might need major surgery. She's been in all weekend and I've been a nervous wreck, especially with the Sprint network problem all weekend. Anyway, we're waiting for the results of a test on her carotid arteries. If they are seriously occluded (blocked) then the docs want to do surgery, in which case I will be putting everything on hold here and shuffling off to Elmira NY.
I'm frustrated with my bro. He didn't bother to tell my nephew anything about mom being in the hospital, so when he found out by a comment I made in an email, he had no idea what was going on. Sheesh. When will my 52 year old brother ever grow the fuck UP?
Anyway, I need to get home now and make sure my little fishies haven't boiled alive in their tank. I'll call mom tonight and see if she's heard anything more, then call my nephew and try to keep him up to date.
It never ends...
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Is that somebody there?
Bizarro and I rented movies last night, and drank rum n' cokes (with my adorable tiki swizzle sticks) to escape from life's miseries. We watched a fantastic remake of the Bruce Lee classic Fist of Legend (aw shucks, I can't ever remember Fists of Legend from Fist of Legend - it's the one where he gets revenge on the Japanese samauri who kills his master). Anyway, the remake is with Jet Li and it's an excellent revisioning of the story, with a few little twists. I can see why some people call it sacriligious - the Japanese general gets some of Bruce's little "-isms" in the fight.
Then we watched Communion, based on a book about the events that allegedly "took place in real time" to Whitley Streiber and friends in a cabin in upstate NY. (Streiber wrote The Wolfen and The Hunger, among other horror novels.) In the story, little alien beings abducted him, gave him anal probes, and in subsequent "real time" events detailed in his other books (Transformation, Confirmation, etc.) eventually started indicating how and why we humans are on the path to self-destruction.
Now I, myself, am a person with an open mind. I had some very very peculiar and quite honestly fucked up dreams when I was 5 or 6 years old. These dreams suddenly stopped and since then I have never had another. Was it "masked memories" from alien abductions? Maybe. Was it the over-active imagination of a highly intelligent child? Quite possibly. Who knows... all I know is that there is a LOT we don't understand about ourselves and the universe, yet.
However, to Whitley Streiber's neo-Nostrodamus' routine (see Whitley Streiber's Website) http://www.unknowncountry.com , I don't think it takes some freaky looking aliens to tell us we're fucking up our planet and our race. If they spent years abducting me to tell me that, my response would be "Well...Duh."
If you're into UFO's, here's another site that doesn't have Streiber's apocalyptic theme... just good ole' fashioned grainy videos of UFOs. Enjoy! http://www.qtm.net/~geibdan/videoclips/index.htm
P.S. Sorry no time to figure the code for hyper-links. I gotta go to "Korean Night" and I'm running late. I'll fix it later!
Bizarro and I rented movies last night, and drank rum n' cokes (with my adorable tiki swizzle sticks) to escape from life's miseries. We watched a fantastic remake of the Bruce Lee classic Fist of Legend (aw shucks, I can't ever remember Fists of Legend from Fist of Legend - it's the one where he gets revenge on the Japanese samauri who kills his master). Anyway, the remake is with Jet Li and it's an excellent revisioning of the story, with a few little twists. I can see why some people call it sacriligious - the Japanese general gets some of Bruce's little "-isms" in the fight.
Then we watched Communion, based on a book about the events that allegedly "took place in real time" to Whitley Streiber and friends in a cabin in upstate NY. (Streiber wrote The Wolfen and The Hunger, among other horror novels.) In the story, little alien beings abducted him, gave him anal probes, and in subsequent "real time" events detailed in his other books (Transformation, Confirmation, etc.) eventually started indicating how and why we humans are on the path to self-destruction.
Now I, myself, am a person with an open mind. I had some very very peculiar and quite honestly fucked up dreams when I was 5 or 6 years old. These dreams suddenly stopped and since then I have never had another. Was it "masked memories" from alien abductions? Maybe. Was it the over-active imagination of a highly intelligent child? Quite possibly. Who knows... all I know is that there is a LOT we don't understand about ourselves and the universe, yet.
However, to Whitley Streiber's neo-Nostrodamus' routine (see Whitley Streiber's Website) http://www.unknowncountry.com , I don't think it takes some freaky looking aliens to tell us we're fucking up our planet and our race. If they spent years abducting me to tell me that, my response would be "Well...Duh."
If you're into UFO's, here's another site that doesn't have Streiber's apocalyptic theme... just good ole' fashioned grainy videos of UFOs. Enjoy! http://www.qtm.net/~geibdan/videoclips/index.htm
P.S. Sorry no time to figure the code for hyper-links. I gotta go to "Korean Night" and I'm running late. I'll fix it later!
Friday, May 07, 2004
Is it over, yet?
As if the lock fiasco wasn't enough this week...Sprint shut off my phone because I was 3 fucking days late with my payment this month. I've been late with payment before, but usually no more than a week (and only because I simply forgot, not because I was trying to get out of paying my bill). Anyway, I made the payment and they turned it back on in an hour.
And then I find out that my minutes are terribly horribly over the limit... and I remembered that I kept getting wrong numbers last month. Apparently a new Sprint customer had been given MY phone number as their own number, so all those calls I'm charged for aren't mine. Which means I gotta go to the Sprint store and straighten that out.
I think the key here is to just remember all the good stuff in my life and not let all this menial crap gain so much momentum. With all the horrible shit in the world these days, sometimes it's all I can do to keep charging ahead, hoping that somehow my efforts are worth while. Being a Buddhist is often the only thing that holds me together.
Anyway, tonight Bizarro and I are gonna just watch a movie and maybe drink some wine. Tomorrow I'll deal with stupid cars and phones. At least I get to go to T'ai Chi in the morning.
As if the lock fiasco wasn't enough this week...Sprint shut off my phone because I was 3 fucking days late with my payment this month. I've been late with payment before, but usually no more than a week (and only because I simply forgot, not because I was trying to get out of paying my bill). Anyway, I made the payment and they turned it back on in an hour.
And then I find out that my minutes are terribly horribly over the limit... and I remembered that I kept getting wrong numbers last month. Apparently a new Sprint customer had been given MY phone number as their own number, so all those calls I'm charged for aren't mine. Which means I gotta go to the Sprint store and straighten that out.
I think the key here is to just remember all the good stuff in my life and not let all this menial crap gain so much momentum. With all the horrible shit in the world these days, sometimes it's all I can do to keep charging ahead, hoping that somehow my efforts are worth while. Being a Buddhist is often the only thing that holds me together.
Anyway, tonight Bizarro and I are gonna just watch a movie and maybe drink some wine. Tomorrow I'll deal with stupid cars and phones. At least I get to go to T'ai Chi in the morning.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Mercury in retrograde?
Yesterday was a fine day. All was going well, and I'd even begun the process of applying for the Fulbright. I was gabbing with one of my co-workers downstairs and thought I'd snag a ride home, since Bizarro had the car for the day. At this point it was around 6:30 - 7:00. As we were leaving the building I noticed I had messages, so I checked and they were both from Bizarro - telling me he'd locked the keys in the car and wasn't sure what to do, but that we'd deal with it later. I wasn't sure where the car was at that point - so my kind co-worker drove me around the parking lot but it wasn't there, so then we headed to the store where Bizarro works.
Sure enough, there was my car, so I hopped out, and thanked my co-worker. As I was unlocking the door, he said "It IS your car, right?" "Oh yeah, it's mine!" I responded. Then he zoomed off in his freakish-but-still-very-cool-jalopy-like ex-army jeep-thing.
Yes, it was my car, but for some reason my key wasn't unlocking the door. I went to the driver-side door. Same thing. In fact, it felt and sounded like the lock was moving, but the doors wouldn't open. I tried a half dozen times, then realized that something was indeed very wrong. I could see Bizarro's keys in the ignition, and wondered if maybe something was left on and the battery was dead, thereby making the power locks inoperable. But that didn't make sense. I was keying it from the outside.
So I went into the store and had them page Bizarro. I wasn't in a particularly good mood at this point, as you might imagine. Bizarro was as perplexed as I was... then he informed me that he had tried to jimmy the locks earlier. Hmm...he'd tried to jimmy the electronic locks.
We went back out to the car and soon we had a bunch of folks, including his manager, a coworker, and an off-duty cop out in the parking lot trying to get my car open. We tried going through the trunk, but the back seat latch has to be operated from the inside (thanks to Nissan who built a break-in-proof car). The cop tried jimmying the locks again, to no avail. The manager fashioned this hook thing and squeezed it in through the door frame to try to open the lock mechanism from inside. Nothing worked.
Finally I called a lock smith who told me that what probably happened was that when they tried to jimmy the locks the first time they must have busted the "link" (whatever that is) thereby making the locks inoperative. A special tool is needed to jimmy electronic locks, apparently. Great.
Bizarro finally wormed his arm up through the back seat and pulled the latch (my back seat is now mangled) so we could get in and unlock the damn thing. But the locks are busted and apparently it's rather pricey to have the doors taken apart to fix the damned things.
So, to sum up, I will quote Worf from Next Generation :
"I am NOT a merry man." Or woman, in this case.
Yesterday was a fine day. All was going well, and I'd even begun the process of applying for the Fulbright. I was gabbing with one of my co-workers downstairs and thought I'd snag a ride home, since Bizarro had the car for the day. At this point it was around 6:30 - 7:00. As we were leaving the building I noticed I had messages, so I checked and they were both from Bizarro - telling me he'd locked the keys in the car and wasn't sure what to do, but that we'd deal with it later. I wasn't sure where the car was at that point - so my kind co-worker drove me around the parking lot but it wasn't there, so then we headed to the store where Bizarro works.
Sure enough, there was my car, so I hopped out, and thanked my co-worker. As I was unlocking the door, he said "It IS your car, right?" "Oh yeah, it's mine!" I responded. Then he zoomed off in his freakish-but-still-very-cool-jalopy-like ex-army jeep-thing.
Yes, it was my car, but for some reason my key wasn't unlocking the door. I went to the driver-side door. Same thing. In fact, it felt and sounded like the lock was moving, but the doors wouldn't open. I tried a half dozen times, then realized that something was indeed very wrong. I could see Bizarro's keys in the ignition, and wondered if maybe something was left on and the battery was dead, thereby making the power locks inoperable. But that didn't make sense. I was keying it from the outside.
So I went into the store and had them page Bizarro. I wasn't in a particularly good mood at this point, as you might imagine. Bizarro was as perplexed as I was... then he informed me that he had tried to jimmy the locks earlier. Hmm...he'd tried to jimmy the electronic locks.
We went back out to the car and soon we had a bunch of folks, including his manager, a coworker, and an off-duty cop out in the parking lot trying to get my car open. We tried going through the trunk, but the back seat latch has to be operated from the inside (thanks to Nissan who built a break-in-proof car). The cop tried jimmying the locks again, to no avail. The manager fashioned this hook thing and squeezed it in through the door frame to try to open the lock mechanism from inside. Nothing worked.
Finally I called a lock smith who told me that what probably happened was that when they tried to jimmy the locks the first time they must have busted the "link" (whatever that is) thereby making the locks inoperative. A special tool is needed to jimmy electronic locks, apparently. Great.
Bizarro finally wormed his arm up through the back seat and pulled the latch (my back seat is now mangled) so we could get in and unlock the damn thing. But the locks are busted and apparently it's rather pricey to have the doors taken apart to fix the damned things.
So, to sum up, I will quote Worf from Next Generation :
"I am NOT a merry man." Or woman, in this case.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Cinco de Maio
Just a few minutes before I have to go to TESTING class. Yes, it's a class where we learn how to make tests. Believe me, it's far more complicated than you'll ever want to know. At least the teacher is cool. That's Dr.J. Everyone loves him, which is prolly why he will become the Chair of the Department next year - at the tender age of 37. Dude, he's only a year older than I am!
Anyway, so yesterday my ESL class was horrible. Everyone was in a crabby mood (myself included). Today was much better, and I addressed the overarching problem of class communication. I insisted that they have to respond when I ask questions - even a simple nod yes or no when I ask "Do you understand?" Japanese classroom culture is vastly different from American, so they are used to the teacher-centered class where they just doze off or do whatever they please. They seemed really interested in what I was saying, so I think I got 'em. We'll see if there's any difference.
Gotta run. More later.
Just a few minutes before I have to go to TESTING class. Yes, it's a class where we learn how to make tests. Believe me, it's far more complicated than you'll ever want to know. At least the teacher is cool. That's Dr.J. Everyone loves him, which is prolly why he will become the Chair of the Department next year - at the tender age of 37. Dude, he's only a year older than I am!
Anyway, so yesterday my ESL class was horrible. Everyone was in a crabby mood (myself included). Today was much better, and I addressed the overarching problem of class communication. I insisted that they have to respond when I ask questions - even a simple nod yes or no when I ask "Do you understand?" Japanese classroom culture is vastly different from American, so they are used to the teacher-centered class where they just doze off or do whatever they please. They seemed really interested in what I was saying, so I think I got 'em. We'll see if there's any difference.
Gotta run. More later.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Maybe it's the full moon, but I just feel really crappy today. Not like, sick-crappy, but mood-crappy. My students were the same way this morning. No one had any energy and there was nothing happening. My brain feels like mush and I have no desire to do much of anything. I've been just pushing myself along like an automaton today.
Blech.
Maybe what I need is....coffeeee.....
Blech.
Maybe what I need is....coffeeee.....
Sunday, May 02, 2004
To merge, or not to merge?
I'm SO confused! I thought I understood this vowel merger business but not I'm not so sure. I thought the/aw/ and /ah/ sound were merging into
/ah/ but in fact it looks like they merge into this other damned vowel somewhere inbetween (which is represented phonetically as a symbol I can't create on this computer).
ANYWAY...I wrote a desparate email to Dr. F, my prof., asking to please clarify this /aw/ ~ /ah/ merger thing. I'm almost finished... if I could clear this up I could print and do all the final touches. Arrrrgghh!!
I'm SO confused! I thought I understood this vowel merger business but not I'm not so sure. I thought the/aw/ and /ah/ sound were merging into
/ah/ but in fact it looks like they merge into this other damned vowel somewhere inbetween (which is represented phonetically as a symbol I can't create on this computer).
ANYWAY...I wrote a desparate email to Dr. F, my prof., asking to please clarify this /aw/ ~ /ah/ merger thing. I'm almost finished... if I could clear this up I could print and do all the final touches. Arrrrgghh!!
What's the buzz? Tell me what's a'happenin'!
I discovered a wonderful thing today while looking for a parking spot. There's a Faculty/Staff lot at the bottom of the hill, and on weekends and weekdays after 5:00 it is open to anyone. I still have to walk up the atrocious "gordy hill" but it's much shorter than walking in from that commuter lot out in east butt wad, which is especially nice on a cold, rainy day such as this.
I'm ready to finish up my socioling paper, thank gawd. Bizarro's dialect has a strange back vowel that isn't consistent with the Northern Dialect found in Cleveland. It would appear that our friend Mr. Club might have a similar situation, but further testing is needed to learn anything more. Wow, I'm turning into a dialectologist before my very eyes!
I've thought about a pro-sem idea: comparing dialects of the WWII generation and my generation (Gen X? what are we, again?) in Elmira, NY. That area is interesting because there's a mix of Northern Dialect coming down from Rochester and Syracuse, but there's also the Midland dialect that moves up and over from PA, since Elmira is right on the PA border. That would be a very personal and interesting project that would incidentally require me to spend time amongst my family and friends in Elmira for a couple of weeks. :) I will think about applying for one of the Graduate Student Senate travel grants to be able to spend some time there over winter break, since I'll have teaching responsibilities in the Fall. This should work out very well.
Thoughts of the friend in Boston, I'll call her JEB from here on out, keep pestering me. Yesterday I dipped a toe into stalker-waters by searching for her on one of the people finder search engines. I'd written her address and phone number down a couple years ago (which was the last time I tried contacting her) but had tossed it out. So I have her address and phone number, again. I've been thinking about writing a letter, but what good would it do?
If she's not "softened up" it'll be like casting seed upon stones, to paraphrase the great J.C. Most of me realizes that she really and truly never wants to speak to me again, and that she is steadfast in her ways. But the other part of me, the idealist, the part that prefers dialogue over dissent, keeps insisting that one day she'll be ready to re-open the friendship and start over. It's that Idealist voice that keeps nagging at me all the time not to give up on her.
There's that, and there's the fact that I don't like loose ends, and to me that relationship still feels like a loose end. I've done my best both literally and figuratively to close my end of things, to let it go, etc. But obviously I can't, not entirely.
Anyway, I need to get my head back into paper-writing space. More later, perhaps.
I discovered a wonderful thing today while looking for a parking spot. There's a Faculty/Staff lot at the bottom of the hill, and on weekends and weekdays after 5:00 it is open to anyone. I still have to walk up the atrocious "gordy hill" but it's much shorter than walking in from that commuter lot out in east butt wad, which is especially nice on a cold, rainy day such as this.
I'm ready to finish up my socioling paper, thank gawd. Bizarro's dialect has a strange back vowel that isn't consistent with the Northern Dialect found in Cleveland. It would appear that our friend Mr. Club might have a similar situation, but further testing is needed to learn anything more. Wow, I'm turning into a dialectologist before my very eyes!
I've thought about a pro-sem idea: comparing dialects of the WWII generation and my generation (Gen X? what are we, again?) in Elmira, NY. That area is interesting because there's a mix of Northern Dialect coming down from Rochester and Syracuse, but there's also the Midland dialect that moves up and over from PA, since Elmira is right on the PA border. That would be a very personal and interesting project that would incidentally require me to spend time amongst my family and friends in Elmira for a couple of weeks. :) I will think about applying for one of the Graduate Student Senate travel grants to be able to spend some time there over winter break, since I'll have teaching responsibilities in the Fall. This should work out very well.
Thoughts of the friend in Boston, I'll call her JEB from here on out, keep pestering me. Yesterday I dipped a toe into stalker-waters by searching for her on one of the people finder search engines. I'd written her address and phone number down a couple years ago (which was the last time I tried contacting her) but had tossed it out. So I have her address and phone number, again. I've been thinking about writing a letter, but what good would it do?
If she's not "softened up" it'll be like casting seed upon stones, to paraphrase the great J.C. Most of me realizes that she really and truly never wants to speak to me again, and that she is steadfast in her ways. But the other part of me, the idealist, the part that prefers dialogue over dissent, keeps insisting that one day she'll be ready to re-open the friendship and start over. It's that Idealist voice that keeps nagging at me all the time not to give up on her.
There's that, and there's the fact that I don't like loose ends, and to me that relationship still feels like a loose end. I've done my best both literally and figuratively to close my end of things, to let it go, etc. But obviously I can't, not entirely.
Anyway, I need to get my head back into paper-writing space. More later, perhaps.
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Happy Beltane!
I'm on a break from the socioling paper. It's going well. I should be able to finish up tomorrow no problem. My topic is analyzing Bizarro's Cleveland dialect for the presence or absence of what we call the "aw/ah" merger (using layperson's spelling since there is no IPA on this thing). Here, you can do a little test yourself, to see if you have merged these two vowel sounds or not. Read the following pairs of words out loud. Do they sound the same or different?
dawn/Don
sob/Saab
taught/tot
wrought/rot
hawk/hock
If they sound different, then you haven't merged those vowels. If you pronounce them exactly the same, then you have merged. Of course, there are points on a continuum of this phenomenon, so not all folks are 100% one way or the other.
Hint: if you're from Cleveland (or any northern city like Chicago, Buffalo, Rochester or Syracuse) you most likely have not merged. If you're from Columbus on south in Ohio, you probably have.
Have fun! Gotta get back to the grind.
I'm on a break from the socioling paper. It's going well. I should be able to finish up tomorrow no problem. My topic is analyzing Bizarro's Cleveland dialect for the presence or absence of what we call the "aw/ah" merger (using layperson's spelling since there is no IPA on this thing). Here, you can do a little test yourself, to see if you have merged these two vowel sounds or not. Read the following pairs of words out loud. Do they sound the same or different?
dawn/Don
sob/Saab
taught/tot
wrought/rot
hawk/hock
If they sound different, then you haven't merged those vowels. If you pronounce them exactly the same, then you have merged. Of course, there are points on a continuum of this phenomenon, so not all folks are 100% one way or the other.
Hint: if you're from Cleveland (or any northern city like Chicago, Buffalo, Rochester or Syracuse) you most likely have not merged. If you're from Columbus on south in Ohio, you probably have.
Have fun! Gotta get back to the grind.
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