The Road Back

Still wrapping my head around the fact that Mom's gone. I'm striving for as much normalcy as possible here at home, which includes things like blogging, reading (currently "Sex Lives of Cannibals"), cooking (spaghetti just like Mom showed me), and going for Saturday breakfast with Bizarro.

I'm putting off stuff for work. I will deal with that come Monday. At least I have organized 95% of the stuff from Mom's apartment, including but not limited to clothes, jewelry, knick-knacks. Feels pretty good.

I am trying to give myself time to reconnect with the rest of my life, and to be gentle with myself. It's a long road, but I think so far I'm not in any danger of tumbling into the abyss of misery and sloth. And I will admit that I finally cracked open the bottle of little blue pills my doctor prescribed for seasonal affective blah blah blah. Of course Tom Cruise would have plenty to say about THAT, but he can just bite me.

Ear Snacks

Give these guys a listen: Bittersweet

Click on "Mating Game" for their last album (very swanky).

Carlessness

Without a car for the weekend. Kickin' it old skool. Walkin' with ma legs.

I need to get back into a work out routine anyway.

Still have a bunch of things to do around the house - organizing and putting away of items I don't know where to put.

Addendum: I have a multitude of thank you cards to write, as well. The lovely cards and prayers arrive every day in the mail. So wonderful to receive such love and caring thoughts from family, friends and coworkers.

Cars Suck

The repair will cost $342. The fucking key and cylinder are fried.

Unfuckingbelievable. Makes me wonder if the starter really was the problem 3 months ago when I had that replaced in Boston.

Are you frakking KIDDING me?

My f'ing car broke down last night while Bizarro and I enjoyed a hot fudge brownie sundae at our local pub-n-grub. Came out about 8 p.m. and it wouldn't even pretend to turn over. Battery is fine. So it must be the starter. AGAIN. It has to be the electrical system. I just spend $260 in October on a new starter! At the crack of morning I walked in the below-freezing snow-and-ice tundra back to the car where we'd left it last night (after walking home in even more sub-freezing temps - the hot fudge did NOT keep me warm). The tow truck came around 8:45 this morning and I haven't heard a peep since (it's currently 1:25 in the afternoon).

I am seriously considering the need to buy another car. Paid this one off last summer, but between the multitudes of repairs and the need for car rentals for long trips to Cleveland or Boston, it's starting to feel like I need to bite the bullet and make monthly payments. The cost of repairs/rentals since June of '06 is averaging $100 a month anyway.

I spent the morning researching cars, dealers, APRs and budget constraints. So much for my plan for the day. Completely obliterated. I can still make out the thank you cards though; I don't need a car for that.

I am trying not to get too bent out of shape about this, but it is just one more reason why I need a serious job instead of this piecemeal adjunct crap. Just one more reason, in my mind, to get the hell out of Upstate NY where the winters are brutal and the jobs are flimsy.

And I just have to say: "LIKE I REALLY NEEDED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW." The Universe can't even give me a full week of mourning without catapulting the next bag of moldy cow shit in my face.

Mom's been gone a week. Doesn't seem possible. Seems like a lifetime ago, but also seems like yesterday. It's weird how extreme emotion bends time like that.

My brother and his wife and my nephew were here for a few days. After everyone left, the apartment seemed awfully empty. Even more so now that Bizarro has gone back to work. I have the week off but I am saddled with so much stuff I gotta do: laundry, donations from Mom's things, thank you cards, figuring out where to put Mom's Xmas stuff that I don't want to get rid of, closing her account at the bank... All made worse in my mind by the fact that we got dumped on with snow yesterday and last night, so it's nasty out there and I just don't want to deal with any of it.

I spent yesterday reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, which was very helpful to me in sorting out "the aferlife." Because of my RC upbringing, my years as a Pagan, and my present Buddhist belief system, I was having a hard time figuring out what the afterlife is all about. I don't think it's something anyone can say definitively "this is what it is." I do think it exists, and I do think souls or conciousnesses travel in an intermediate stage, and are reborn if their karma demands it. According to Tibetan and Catholic traditions, the living can help the souls of the dead by praying for them to reach their highest potential (Enlightenment, Heaven, or at least a positive rebirth experience).

Last night we watched International Ghost Hunters and I realized that I am uncomfortable watching that stuff. If there really are spirits or parts of spirit energy trapped somewhere, it seems awfully mean and disrespectful to nag at them, poke them with a stick and make them perform for the cameras, just to "prove" their existence. Maybe what those spirits or spirit energies need is help finding their way to where they belong (if that's even possible). At one point on GHI, Dustin explained that he wanted to give the alleged ghost a chance to tell his story - which I though was admirable at least. To acknowledge the grief with which that person died and let him know that he's not forgotten. Hmm... but I have to rethink what I really feel about those kinds of shows (esp. the ridiculous "Ghost Adventures" and "Most Haunted").

To those who don't believe in such things at all, I realize it's a bunch of hogwash. Regardless of others' doubts, I'm willing to say prayers for my Mom and Dad in the afterlife, which I believe can only do good.

I miss Mom so much - it's an undercurrent. I'm not pulling my hair out and crying (that was in the first few days) but I'm finding it hard to get back to life with all it's ups and downs. For now I just want to stay huddled in my apartment with a good book and a cup of tea. Problem is, as long as the piles of stuff are staring me in the face, I will feel uneasy about not doing them. That's the Elsie in me! I have to smile at that.

Elsie Rose (Momazoo) 1927 - 2009

My mother passed away on Jan. 22, 2009 after a long, difficult illness. On Monday the 20th, she decided to end her dialysis treatment, and she told me she was ready to die. She'd only been hanging on, she said, because she didn't want to hurt me. I told her I wanted what she wanted, and that I certainly didn't want her to hang on and be miserable. Truly, she had no quality of life at that point, with dialysis 4.25 hours three times a week, being unable to walk on her own, and having difficulty concentrating even to do a crossword. Just two nights later, she died peacefully, as she'd intended. I was with her when she drew her last breaths.

Words cannot express how much I miss her, but I know she is in a better place, probably cutting a rug with her beloved Angelo, my dad.

Get Ready... Cuz Here I Come

I am home prepping for classes today. Pretty much set for this week; getting a syllabus put together for the community college class that starts next week. Reviewing scripts, texts, etc. for handouts and stuff.

All while A&E runs a Paranormal State marathon leading up to tonight's new episodes.

Also, I just have to say how sickening it is that our culture is obsessed with weight loss. Check it: yesterday in the grocery checkout I saw the cover of some popular women's magazine that had huge headlines about how to lose 20 lbs fast, and some pop star's advice on losing that belly fat. And the cover art? I GIANT piece of chocolate cake (4 layers) and the recipe on page whatever. Talk about mixed messages!

The latest scam: Acai Berry and Bromalite. These products are being hawked viciously online, at Yahoo, Google, etc. In fact I have those two sites open right now in separate tabs, and as I was writing this, one of the tabs automatically switched forward with a warning to ORDER NOW BEFORE YOUR TIME IS UP! This kind of aggressive marketing kills me - these products are no different than any other fad (Goji berry, anyone?). I only have these tabs open, BTW, cause I have a Mac. Had I been on a PC, I wouldn't ever click on an ad. OH - and when I just tried to close the tab, it gave me a "do you REALLY want to close this tab and lose this incredible opportunity?" bullshit. Assholes!

End rant.

Thanks to Silas216 @ Flickr

Frak the Frak Pak

We looked into KFC's "Frak Pak" advertised during BSG. Initially I thought it was like a 6-pack of chicken (aka the "Fuck Bucket") but apparently it's a sweepstakes you have to enter and if you win you get a whole bunch of BSG and KFC stuff. What a disappointment! Here I thought I could roll up to the KFC drive through and order me a Frak Pak of chicken. Not that I even like KFC, though Bizarro does. I just thought it would be cool to order, and I would totally save the box if it said "Frak Pak" all over it.

Oh, Felgercarb!

End of Winter Break

Today is the last official day of winter break at the college I teach for. The semester starts tomorrow, but it's a holiday due to MLK day. Why don't they just begin the semester on Tuesday? It's weird. But anyway, the long and short of it is that I have to get on the ball and finish prepping for the semester.

Of course in addition to that, I am now responsible for cleaning/packing/moving Mom's stuff (again). By end of this week, no less. Hey, I know it has to get done and I am happy that I am here to help her (otherwise I don't what would happen). But still, the timing is complete shit. It's no one's fault, it's just the way it is, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it (as usual).

Today I'm focusing on getting laundry done, finishing the text for my community college class, and watching some of the short films I have to sift through and decide which ones to use for that class. And then write the syllabus. Hopefully I'll get a visit in with Mom, too. Also gotta pay the bills and then make a few personal calls for Mom, to let people know what's going on (who aren't on email). Times like these I wish I had a secretary!

Mom's got a bad chest cold - I'm just praying it doesn't become pneumonia. I heard from a friend of mine whose mother is in the same nursing home that her mom has pneumonia and went to the hospital, but the hospital sent her back because apparently they have a new super-resistant strain of pneumonia going around. Great.

And you know what? I really fucking hate the cold. There I said it. I want to live in So. California. Maybe one day we'll get there, if things tank here in Upstate NY. I'd miss my friends and family, but I want to live near the ocean in a climate that rarely dips below 50 degrees. Not to mention the benefit of being a screenwriter. *sigh* Meantime, I have to rely on indoor water parks to get me through the winters.

Frak Pak

Last night's return of Battlestar Galactica was... well... frak me. SPOILER ALERT! If you don't watch the show and don't care, then don't read. If you do watch the show and somehow haven't seen last night's episode, be forewarned.






1. We're all Cylons? So the 13th Colony was FROM earth (not going TO earth) and they were Cylons. Which means... the humans are really all Cylons?

2. The final 5 aren't resurrected like the other 7 skin jobs - they're special. Older? Originally from Earth and they created the other 7 along with the Toasters?

3. Ellen Tigh is the 5th Cylon - so is she coming back? Maybe the Final 5 are actually reincarnated, rather than resurrected, which would mean she's a 3 year old running around somewhere.

4. Starbuck died when she found Earth. I think everyone is in agreement that she was brought back to life by The Ship of Lights (from the original show's mythology). She's some kind of crazy-ass angel, IOW. But still frakked up because she doesn't know what she is or WHY she is.

5. People go crazy when every scrap of hope is yanked out from under them. Espcially the women who USED to be strong. Laura Roslin cries and burns the Book of Pythia; Deanna decides to stay on radioactive Earth, wait for the other Bad Cylons and die; Dualla shoots herself in the head? WTF?

6. Who will be the "Count Iblis" of BSG? (again from the original show's mythology - good vs evil borrowing from Judeo/Christian Mythology). And how does Baltar's monotheism fit into all of this?

IO9 did live blogging last night and put it all together for you to read. BSG Live Blogging.

I need me a Frak Pak from KFC.

Writing Retreat - Epilogue

Remember when cop shows in the 70s had "epilogues," and they'd actually say it across the screen: "Epilogue." Are you old enough to remember cop shows in the 70s?

So I'm home now, in the freezing tundra that is our apartment. When it's -4trillion degrees outside, it really doesn't matter how high you crank up the antiquated "radiant heaters." It's gonna be cold no matter what. The last couple nights Bizarro and I have been sleeping on the futon in our living room because the bedroom might as well be out in the parking lot, it's so damned cold in there. It's been fun, though, like a sleep over.

So I finished the day working on the Korea doco. Still am struggling with the script but I'm getting closer - I can feel it. My goal is to be ready for rough cutting in March when I go back to the artist colony during spring break. Which is right after we go to Splash Lagoon!

This was a remarkably productive retreat. I was in a different studio than the last few times I went up there. This one is actually called a "writer's studio" rather than the painter's studio I had before. It's warmer, for one thing, and is right next to the full kitchen. And there's carpeting. The writing desk faces the sun all day - so lovely and warm!

Know what I wish I had right now? Ondol flooring like they have in Korea. Heating THROUGH the floor. What a simple, amazing, brilliant concept. Instead we Americans slap wall-to-wall carpeting on top of concrete can call it done. Sheesh.

I am SO READY to find out who the Final Cylon is tonight! And what the frak is up with "Earth?" and when will Apollo and Starbuck just DO IT for gods' sake!

"Ghosthunting for Frat Boys" (aka Ghost Adventures) is on now. Fools. "Paranormal State" starts back up on Monday. Looks like it's another demon episode. Those folks better be careful what they're messing with.

That's all my ranting for now. Time to go curl up in a swaddle of blankets and my corn warmer.

Day 5 - Pt. II

My time here is winding down. I've had a pretty good day working on the documentary about life in Korea, but it is slow going. The script just sounds like crap to me. It lacks focus. I can't seem to get out what I want to say, and I'm worried it's going to be disjointed and inaccessible (like the film I made in Ireland ten years ago).

The good news is I've secured another 5 days here in March for spring break. I plan to bring all my footage from Korea and my hard drive to start cutting a rough cut.

Meantime I am going to get my hands on documentaries to study - but I have to find some personal films, not just explanatory "national geographic" type films.

Here is something that cheered me up, though. If you have some time, check this out:

American Hula (POV Series)

Day 5 - Pt. 1

It doesn't get any better than this - the sky is clear, the sun is shining in the east, the snow is like diamonds, and I'm sitting in front of a huge, glorious window with my delicious dark coffee and ginger snaps.

Every morning on the way here, the radio man says it's partly cloudy, but the sky has been crisp and blue every morning. The clouds roll in usually around 10 a.m.

This morning it was -3 on the drive in, with a wind child of -15.

WATCH THIS

If you don't think you'll ever get to Korea, just watch this. If you HAVE been to Korea, this video will make you laugh and cry:

Day 4

Kind of a rollicking day. Got started early, then had to break to meet Mom at the doctor's office. She had the dialysis catheter removed, then we went back to the nursing home to have lunch and spend a little Q-time. Ironically, I stayed away for a week because I was sick and didn't want to get her sick. Turns out the entire nursing home is rampant with this upper respiratory thing and she's been coughing for a couple days.

Got back to the retreat colony around 3:00 p.m. and TAH-DAAAH: finished the first FULL draft of Beauty Is... So on a productivity scale of 1 - 10, "1" being a 7-hour cat nap and "10" being a full first draft of a script that has been plaguing me for months, I score a 10!

I have a hair cut appointment at 5:00 but then am coming back here to work on my documentary script. Tomorrow I'll tool around with that some more, and get my notes typed in for a final-ish revision of Homeworld, the sci-fi that's been plaguing me for years.

I am pretty tired and very crampy, however, so it IS tough to keep pressing. Especially when I've finished something that feels so momentous that I feel like I deserve a break. But I DON'T deserve a break! I have 1.5 days left of retreat, so I'm going to keep kicking it. Only thing is, I will probably start the semester exhausted - especially since I have to spend time this weekend at Mom's AL room instead of resting and/or working on prepping for the semester.

Iz alright.

Day 3 - Pt. II

Today has been very productive. On a productivity scale of 1 - 10, "1" being "I counted all my toes. Twice." and "10" being "Spielberg just picked up my latest spec script to go into production next week," I score about a 6.

Cranking through BEAUTY IS... but it's hard, it's so hard. So many plot devices and consistency issues. And I am continually pushing back the Writing Demon that whispers in my ear, "That sucks. You suck. Why don't you just go beg for your old job back at the Chorch? This plot is boring. Who cares? No body cares. You suck."

I'm getting peckish for dinner...

Mom update

Just spoke to Mom on the phone. She fell this morning but is not injured (thankfully). She has decided she needs to remain in a nursing home setting, so now I have to arrange cleaning/packing/moving her stuff by the end of this month from the assisted living place. Strangely, I am not daunted by this as much as I had expected. perhaps because I've been preparing myself for it. I think I'm relieved that such a decision has been made, and it came from her, and she is very practical and gracious about it. I am working on getting her into the other nursing home - we'll see how it pans out.

for your listening pleasure...

Apuellos Ojos Verdas - Nat King Cole

Day 3 - Pt. 1

Got here bright and early, set up the coffee pot, and am getting down to work on "Beauty Is..." (the 1950s coming of age-mystery). I have cramps which totally blows chud and makes it hard to focus, but I am pushing through like the proverbial trooper.

If you haven't seen "Leverage" on TNT, you should watch. Great writing. Sort of "The Equalizer" meets "Oceans 11." Last night I tracked the acts, buttons, and runners. Brilliant!

Okay, more coffee and then it's time to open Final Draft...

Retreat Day 2

Day 2 was fairly productive. On a productivity scale of 1-10, 1 being "I ain't got jack done" and 10 being "I wrote an entire screenplay in 8 hours," yesterday stacks up to about a 4. I worked on three projects, did some fiddling/researching with TV script formats, and realized that I need to do some more thinking and research for my TV pilot. Then I switched gears to my 1950s coming of age-mystery last night and will continue with that for most of today. I've also gotten a fair amount of reading done - stuff that's been sitting in my inbox for awhile (including this month's issue of Creative Screenwriting).

Day 1 Pt. II

The afternoon moved along and I got stuff done. Just ate dinner (left over, warmed up pizza) and the night is pressing in at all the huge windows in this place. I have all the blinds up. Don't get to do this in the city! Don't worry I'm not prancing around nekkid. Not that I wouldn't if it weren't so freaking cold. Actually I got the temp up in here to the high 60s (I'm guessing).

Found a new favorite iTunes stream: Planet Pootwaddle Dot Com (Music for Pot Smokin' Baby Boomer Music Fanatics). That's the actual description. I am neither pot smokin' nor a Boomer, but I do like the jams there. They are eclectic and weird, which means I like them, I do.

Okay, I've got more work to do this evening. C ya.

Note to self...

Bring space heater tomorrow.

Retreat Day 1

So far what I've done today on retreat:

- spent an hour with Sprint customer service and tech support because my phone's Roaming is not working if I place a call off the sprint network.
- emailing back and forth with the social worker at Mom's nursing home because I can't call anyone over there (Verizon) and I had a bunch of business to take care of for Mom.
- diddling with the settings on the thermostat because it was ballz cold in this room a little while ago.

I think I've gotten most of the immediate needs taken care of. Now it's 1:00 and I haven't written a thing and I need sustenance.

At least I had the presence of mind this morning to get a large hazelnut coffee to go before driving out here to the middle of nowhere.

I hope to gawd the rest of the week shapes up or this will be biggest waste of $25 ever.

I have no idea where this is, but it sounds like my kind of place:


more the engrish!

Writing Retreat

This coming week I'm supposed to be on a writing retreat, which in reality is only going to be a semi-retreat because I have so many many things to do in the outside world. Not only that, but I still have work that didn't get done from last week that needs to be done and I don't want to use my writing time for it.

I know what a whiner, right?

Momazoo Update

You may have noticed a lack of entries about Mom, recently. It's not that stuff isn't going on in her world, but rather that most of the crises have passed and I am allowed to think and write about other stuff.

I was supposed to go see her today, and bring a turkey meatloaf for dinner. However, I came down with a cold on Friday, and since I am still sneezing and coughing and snotty, I didn't think it wise to visit all that upon her and anyone else at the nursing home. Tomorrow morning I'll go have breakfast with her, and bring her some money for her haircut.

This week she will come off Hospice and go back to Rehab. But I'm a bit dubious as to the motivations of the PTist. I feel like she should be more excited to get Mom where she wants to be; instead I heard via the social worker that she's doubtful that Mom will be able to get anywhere and is only planning to give her a week (5 days) of restorative PT, and if she's not making strides at that point, drop her down to maintenance PT. I will be talking with the PTist tomorrow and get the full story. I'm not sure how anyone who's gone through what Mom has is supposed to make great improvements in only 5 days. I will remind the PTist that Mom was flat on her back for almost two weeks thanks to over-medication with pain control meds, and that she is bouncing back from a very severe drug interaction.

Two other ways to get her back to assisted living - power chair and smaller O2 tanks. I have to talk to faces about that, too.

And of course there is the over-arching worry that if she's not in a restorative rehab program, she'll lose her SSI (which means no way to pay for the AL room, which means no hope of going back there). As it is I'm worried that she was out of rehab for a month - but hopefully the SSA won't catch that right away. So far so good.

I have visited the other decent-yet-affordable nursing home in the area and talked to the Director of Nursing. If Mom cannot under any circumstances return to AL, that place is a better option than where she is now. It's cleaner, they have more staff, and are attentive to more details (so the director of nursing told me). At the least I can say the place didn't reek of urine and feces when I walked through.

So it's more of the same - uncertainty and many elements affecting her situation that have nothing to do with her, her health, or her ability to live independently. A lot of fucking New York State laws, social workers and staff not doing their jobs to the fullest, and just plain luck, which as we know, can go either way.

But the good news is she continues to feel better, though not great, and she is motivated and hopeful to get back. She also has a pragmatic approach to things, for if she has to be in a nursing home she knows she'll have to accept it.

I am trying to prepare myself for the possibility that I'll have to go back into her AL room and do another round of packing, throwing out, giving away, and moving. Not something I look forward to, but if that's what I need to do, it's what I need to do.

God help us all.

Get to know: Laird Hamilton

Welcome to the first in what will be a sporadic series introducing some big names in surfing and wind surfing. We'll start off with Laird Hamilton, the most amazing big wave surfer ever to have lived. He co-invented tow-in surfing (when a surfer is towed into huge waves far offshore by a jet ski), has defied death on the heaviest wave ever ridden (Teahupo), and continues to pursue his love of board water sports (including wind surfing - I'll get a clip up as soon as I can find a good one) without all the cocky self-promotion and ego-attitude found in some others in the surf world. You can read up on Laird at his website.

Windsurfing Jaws

OH, the insanity!

(sorry I had the wrong clip up there for a few hours!)

Surfing Nantasket

This is the place all my ocean/beach photos are from. I was here a couple weeks before this video was taken. I'd love to learn how to surf at Nantasket!

Hard core!

When Fisher Price Was Cool

I think it went to my nephew when I was "too old" (I love how Mom got to decide how old was too old.)

Fisher Price Parking Garage.

Honey our budget's a disaster...

In Training!

Returned to Yoga class last night. And yes, it kicked my ass. Again. BUT not as bad as that first session did back in October. I have been doing some gentle Yoga at home in the meantime, so apparently doing something right.

The areas that hurt the most are my upper arms/shoulders and my quads. Both areas that I will need to strengthen for wind surfing. Both areas that will develop from swimming and Yoga, combined.

I have a note to myself on the whiteboard in my (new) office space at home: "6 months 'til spring training. Train hard - stand tall!" Spring training refers to the workshop held in June by the local wind surfing club. I hear there's a land trainer to get us kooks started. And that workshop will only be the beginning, I hope!

Besides the physical exhortations, the other thing I NEED to do more devoutly is to DRINK MORE WATER. I think I'm walking around half-dehydrated most of the time.

So far I've done pretty well about not munching out at night. I've found that drinking a cup of flavorful-but-noncaffeinated tea (like Ginger Twist) helps to nip my cravings back and keep me satisfied. And you can't go wrong with ginger tea!

Some new sites to dig...

WannaSurf includes a surf atlas, member profiles, forums (fora?), ratings, surf spots & sessions, etc. Fun graphics with UFOs!

TaraPopp's blargh on Korean media, part of a larger blog on Asian media. Lots of manga, gaming, geekery and fun stuff to peruse.

P.S. I think I'll eventually have to do something about the morass that is Places & Faces.

Hippo and Tortoise

JUST STOP!

Thanks to Gavin Elster over at Sequoia Sempervirens for this nugget of Korean TV goodness:



Believe it or not, that ad makes me miss Korea!

Fuck you panda!

Reality Bites

So now we're well into 2009, and the peachy haze of the holidays and celebration and family and indoor water parks is starting to fade as we enter the first work week of the new year. I have a shitload of phone calls to make tomorrow, mainly on Mom's behalf. I need to set up an appointment to see the other nursing home/rehab center, and I also need to talk to the hospice nurse to try to get some kind of assessment. The big question is: is it an unreasonable expectation for Mom to try to get back to assisted living? Or is that just a pipe dream and we should start getting her ready to move to this other nursing facility (if in fact it is suitable)?

The other main focus of the next few days is getting ourselves back on budget after the last 2 weeks of frivolity. I will have student loan payments starting up again the middle of this year and I hope to gawd I have some way of paying those fckrz. I owe well let's just say I owe a lot, thanks to my MFA. But hey - at least I'm using that MFA to teach screenwriting! What I need is a full-time teaching gig, really. I am hoping that my part-time gig at the community college will blossom into something more permanent. There is no reason to believe that it can't - the program has grown exponentially, and they have plans to expand it in the coming years. Me being on the ground floor of that expansion is a very good thing, indeed.

Anyway, back to our budget - I have to very carefully think about where and how I want to spend and save my cash monies. I want to invest in my health and mental well-being, and stop wasting money on stupid shit like books and clothes I don't need (that's what the library and trendy 2nd-hand clothing stores are for). Also, I will stop buying pre-packaged cookie dough at nearly $4 a pop. Not to mention the deleterious effect it has on my waistline.

Another thing I have to do - or rather stop doing - is not snacking in the evenings. Oh. My. God. I do well all day long but when the sun sets and I'm on the couch reading or watching the boob toob, I just CRAVE JUNK. I have to figure something out. Herbal tea instead of cookies. EFT instead of caving.

Okay, so now I have some more refined intentions for 2009:

For mind/body: Yoga, swimming, meditation, eating yogurt instead of crap, drinking organic coffee.

For career: Invest more in my teaching and make daily dedicated time for writing.

For marriage: Set time aside for just us two, and find ways to have FUN together (not just sitting in front of the TV).

For Mom: Attend to her and her situation with love and compassion, even when dealing with sanctimonious nurses and addle-brained aides.

Indoor Water Park COMING SOON

DUDES I just discovered that this fall an indoor water park very near to our own City on the Edge of Forever will open. It includes a WAVE POOL as well as all the usual water park delights. I'd post the link but it'd blow my cover.

I AM SO STOKED!

Wind Surfing '09

As you know, I've connected with the local wind surfing club, and I will try my hands (and arms and back and legs and feet) at this amazing sport. It involves incredible balance and coordination - both of which I am lacking in my current middle-age. I have no doubts that I will recover what was once mine in youth. And hey, I did ride a skate board for the first time in November without eating pavement, right?

What pisses me off is the "extreme" sportsworld of skaters, snowboarders and yes, even some surfers, look down their noses at windsurfing. Seriously? Have you any idea what is involved? And have you seen the aerial stuff the pros do?





And don't even get me started on kite surfing, which has got to be the most insane thing I've ever seen on the water.






I'm heading back to Yoga class next week, and will join the Y to start swimming again. I will be in better muscular shape come June, and will hopefully be more coordinated through Yoga by then as well.

Not that I'm some cream puff. My balance isn't too bad considering I sprained both ankles in 2008, really. And I can still melt any floor you put under my dancing shoes.


(Images: http://www.egos.co.za/scripts/prodList.asp?idcategory=6&curPage=2&sortField=description and http://www.holiday-wa.net/SouthWestCapesRegion.asp; http://tidalstock.wordpress.com/2008/04/26/windy-day-for-some-kitesurfing-image-for-426/ and http://kitesurfingschool.org/faqs.htm)

Happy 2009

Well here we are in 2009. Only 3 more years until the Mayan calendar ends and we are all doomed. So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999... (yeah, remember the LAST time the world was supposed to end nine years ago?)

We're enjoying our time in Cleveland, bolstered by the fact that Mom is doing so much better, so I can turn off the long-range Elsie censors and allow myself to stand down and relax. Bizarro is enjoying his new tiny-ass computer, and I am still feeling quite overjoyed from our 2 days at Splash Lagoon. What a marvelous invention. We decided from now on whenever we come to Cleveland, we'll build an overnight in Erie for Splash Lagoon. We were both like 10 years olds in that place - SO much fun. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun, in a juvenile, elemental kind of way.

Okay, so as promised, the lists of '08 - '09:

The review of '08: Accomplished some goals: taught more screenwriting and ESL, started some new writing projects and moved forward on a couple standing ones. Didn't get to enter a lot of competitions (only a couple) or get an agent. Rediscovered my power element - Water. Discovered wind surfing in my town and entered an obsession with surfing in general. I made some new friends in '08, though not close yet. Started a Yoga class, but stopped when Mom's situation got so bad that I was at the hospital/nursing home every night. Though Mom's health usurped the last 2 months of the year, she finished out the year feeling better and in much lighter spirits, which means my world has achieved some sense of normalcy as well.

Nine intentions for '09:
1. Continue building my teaching career.
2. Continue building my writing career: finish the two older works, enter them in competition, write a TV pilot, form a writing group (already in the making).
3. Create new bonds of friendship with folks from the windsurfing club.
4. Save a bunch of money and start up the first time home owners club.
5. Be strong yet flexible in everything I do.
6. Build my mind-body with fun exercise and regular meditation.
7. Spend as much time as possible by the beach - both at home and Nantasket.
8. Continue creating a healthy relationship with Bizarro.
9. Take better care of myself, in general.