If you thought I was a Grumpus yesterday, damn you better stay out of my way today. This morning I was made aware of the fact that the incompetent morons at Direct Loans screwed me by taking out a double payment this month. I called up and screamed and hollered at the supervisor and made sure "CYNTHIA" (IF that is her real name) gets her behind whipped because she really screwed up our budget for the month.
You, know, it's bad enough that I have no idea how I'm making money this summer, aside from the teaching gig in Korea. It's bad enough that I have no job for fall. The fuckers who work for the government can screw up my account and refuse to credit back the extra payment and have no consequences to face.
I have had enough of being helpless. I am so frustrated and angry I could seriously put a hole in the wall if I allowed myself to become violent. Which I won't.
To top it off, my entire weekend is in a holding pattern because the woman who is producing the video I've been working on all year has once again left things to the last minute and I don't know if she even needs me to shoot tomorrow. We have one interview scheduled for Sunday morning (MORNING, mind you), and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing tomorrow. If I don't hear from her by 6:00 tonight I will leave a message and tell her I'm not available tomorrow. Meantime, I'm also waiting to find out when I can pick up the video equipment. MORE FUCKING LIMBO.
If something doesn't break for me soon I think I'm going to have a complete breakdown.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Grumpus Maximus
I suppose I really shouldn't be a Grumpus today, but I haven't been feeling well all week and it's definitely catching up with me. I am behind in my grading and my housework, and I haven't written anything in days.
Today I had one 'o dem dere exploratory interviews. One of the colleges might need me to teach ESL in summer, but I'm doubtful the scheduling will work out. In any case, it's good to be on their books for future gigs. Meantime, I got an email from another place wanting me to teach ESL writing this summer - but again I've a feeling that scheduling will prevent it.
I really really want to make this film in Korea and I think this summer is my last chance. But it seems to be interfering with all kinds of other opportunities. It's driving me mad, quite honestly. I've signed up with a couple temp agencies to get some work in for the first part of summer, too. I don't care what I do for a month, as long as I can pay the bills.
I'm sure this is part of what is keep me down physically. We all know how susceptible I can be to pressures that go on for weeks at a time.
Damn, I REALLY have to go grade papers.
Today I had one 'o dem dere exploratory interviews. One of the colleges might need me to teach ESL in summer, but I'm doubtful the scheduling will work out. In any case, it's good to be on their books for future gigs. Meantime, I got an email from another place wanting me to teach ESL writing this summer - but again I've a feeling that scheduling will prevent it.
I really really want to make this film in Korea and I think this summer is my last chance. But it seems to be interfering with all kinds of other opportunities. It's driving me mad, quite honestly. I've signed up with a couple temp agencies to get some work in for the first part of summer, too. I don't care what I do for a month, as long as I can pay the bills.
I'm sure this is part of what is keep me down physically. We all know how susceptible I can be to pressures that go on for weeks at a time.
Damn, I REALLY have to go grade papers.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Happy Day
Two things to rejoice in today:
1. I exercised THREE WHOLE TIMES this week. I've been going for walks or hitting the exercise room. I had a lovely walk this evening as the sun set.
2. I was awarded 4 days of studio space at The Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts, for the middle of May after the semester is over. My plan is to finish SENTINEL in that time.
1. I exercised THREE WHOLE TIMES this week. I've been going for walks or hitting the exercise room. I had a lovely walk this evening as the sun set.
2. I was awarded 4 days of studio space at The Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts, for the middle of May after the semester is over. My plan is to finish SENTINEL in that time.
Earth Day
I'm ripping this off from SNL's Weekend Update last night, because it's just too damned funny:
"Today is Earth Day! So suck it, Neptune!"
"Today is Earth Day! So suck it, Neptune!"
Thoughts on the tragedy at Virginia Tech
This week when the story broke, I actually saw the headlines on an Asian news website that I frequent. I can't say that I read the story, in fact I did what I usually do with these things. I avoided it for a couple days. Of course I knew what had happened, but I waited to read details until Thursday. I just couldn't bring myself to enter the space of all that madness and misery.
That said, once I read more in detail about the student Cho and his long history of mental illness, I became very angry. Not at him, but at a system that allowed him to remain in the dorms, and which allowed him access to guns. He was clearly psychotic. Why was he running amuck in the first place?
We watched Meet the Press this morning and the interviewees, from the president of VT to those on the committee to research into what happened and produce statements for future prevention, all agreed that laying blame at this point is not a useful activity. I can't agree more. Clearly things went wrong - and those things need to analyzed and repaired.
I personally have only a distant relation to VT - a friend of mine, who I fell out of touch with years ago, graduated from the engineering school back in '85. But having worked on a number of college campuses, I understand the pressures that students are under, particularly Asian males, and so I can only begin to glimpse the underpinnings of Cho's madness. I would urge everyone, when you remember the innocent lives taken, their friends and their families, to pray also for the Cho family. I also ask that we pray for the gunman, himself, who had disconnected from humanity so completely and with such horrible consequences. Cultivating compassion for him is as appropriate as our compassion for those he killed, injured and left behind.
Om Mani Padme Hung
That said, once I read more in detail about the student Cho and his long history of mental illness, I became very angry. Not at him, but at a system that allowed him to remain in the dorms, and which allowed him access to guns. He was clearly psychotic. Why was he running amuck in the first place?
We watched Meet the Press this morning and the interviewees, from the president of VT to those on the committee to research into what happened and produce statements for future prevention, all agreed that laying blame at this point is not a useful activity. I can't agree more. Clearly things went wrong - and those things need to analyzed and repaired.
I personally have only a distant relation to VT - a friend of mine, who I fell out of touch with years ago, graduated from the engineering school back in '85. But having worked on a number of college campuses, I understand the pressures that students are under, particularly Asian males, and so I can only begin to glimpse the underpinnings of Cho's madness. I would urge everyone, when you remember the innocent lives taken, their friends and their families, to pray also for the Cho family. I also ask that we pray for the gunman, himself, who had disconnected from humanity so completely and with such horrible consequences. Cultivating compassion for him is as appropriate as our compassion for those he killed, injured and left behind.
Om Mani Padme Hung
The Butterfly Effect
On Friday, as I was walking to my afternoon class, I saw a butterfly flittering by. I thought to myself "Spring is finally, REALLY hear." It's been in the 70s and sunny here all weekend. Glorious! Of course I've spent most of it inside because I seem to have been stricken with some weird virus - sinus headache that would split a melon, and an upset stomach. Feeling better today than yesterday, when I awoke at 5 a.m. and thought my head was going to pop off my neck with the pain behind my eyes.
Sure it's the stress of looking for a job, plus the rapid change of weather (snowstorm on Monday, 65 degrees on Friday). Plus I got some bad news from Momazoo about her car. Bad enough that she's without a computer now, and it seems her 1990 Hyundai is done for. It still runs but it needs more work than the car is worth at this point. She's been preparing herself for this eventuality, and is ready to use the buses in Elmira, but I'm not as prepared. I know the ilk that ride the buses in Elmira and I'm not too keen on my almost-80-year-old mom riding around. But she's tough, and I need to not worry so much. But I am painfully aware that we need to look into her eventual move to Ithaca. Whereas right now she's capable of the bus, who knows how long that situation will sustain itself. In the meantime, Bizarro and I are trying to find a way to buy her a replacement computer, a used one.
I have a butt-load of grading to do and I have to study my Korean for tomorrow morning's lesson. Of course with the VT tragedy, last week had a pall over it. Instead of having my Korean lesson last Thursday, I went with my Korean tutor to the memorial service that was held at the university. Turns out she's going home to Korea in 3 weeks, so I feel the pressure to make the most of out my lessons. She's such a wonderful teacher - I am going to miss our lessons. But hopefully I'll be able to meet up with her in Seoul this summer.
I am going to Seoul this summer, and I've decided I can't wait on the university job any longer. I am counting on my recruiter to find me a good EFL summer camp to teach for and he is also going to help me get the documentary made. I'm hoping they can help out with some of the logistics such as renting equipment. In other words, bankrolling the production costs. I am doing a promo for them to use on their website, so I'm hoping that will encourage them to support me in that way.
With the decision made to teach EFL, I'm organizing the rest of the summer now. It's a relief in one way, but in another it makes it more real and therefore more scary. In the meantime, I am also conducting a job search for fall. My fingers and toes are crossed for the writing instructor gig I've applied for at my current college. They are looking for full-time and part-time faculty, so with my current connections and my background, I'm hopeful that I'll get an interview and an offer.
I want to take the time to thank my hubby for being so patient and supportive of my crazy dream to get this film made in Korea this summer. A lot of spouses would have demanded that I take any old job to make ends meet. Bizarro is truly first class, and one of a kind.
Sure it's the stress of looking for a job, plus the rapid change of weather (snowstorm on Monday, 65 degrees on Friday). Plus I got some bad news from Momazoo about her car. Bad enough that she's without a computer now, and it seems her 1990 Hyundai is done for. It still runs but it needs more work than the car is worth at this point. She's been preparing herself for this eventuality, and is ready to use the buses in Elmira, but I'm not as prepared. I know the ilk that ride the buses in Elmira and I'm not too keen on my almost-80-year-old mom riding around. But she's tough, and I need to not worry so much. But I am painfully aware that we need to look into her eventual move to Ithaca. Whereas right now she's capable of the bus, who knows how long that situation will sustain itself. In the meantime, Bizarro and I are trying to find a way to buy her a replacement computer, a used one.
I have a butt-load of grading to do and I have to study my Korean for tomorrow morning's lesson. Of course with the VT tragedy, last week had a pall over it. Instead of having my Korean lesson last Thursday, I went with my Korean tutor to the memorial service that was held at the university. Turns out she's going home to Korea in 3 weeks, so I feel the pressure to make the most of out my lessons. She's such a wonderful teacher - I am going to miss our lessons. But hopefully I'll be able to meet up with her in Seoul this summer.
I am going to Seoul this summer, and I've decided I can't wait on the university job any longer. I am counting on my recruiter to find me a good EFL summer camp to teach for and he is also going to help me get the documentary made. I'm hoping they can help out with some of the logistics such as renting equipment. In other words, bankrolling the production costs. I am doing a promo for them to use on their website, so I'm hoping that will encourage them to support me in that way.
With the decision made to teach EFL, I'm organizing the rest of the summer now. It's a relief in one way, but in another it makes it more real and therefore more scary. In the meantime, I am also conducting a job search for fall. My fingers and toes are crossed for the writing instructor gig I've applied for at my current college. They are looking for full-time and part-time faculty, so with my current connections and my background, I'm hopeful that I'll get an interview and an offer.
I want to take the time to thank my hubby for being so patient and supportive of my crazy dream to get this film made in Korea this summer. A lot of spouses would have demanded that I take any old job to make ends meet. Bizarro is truly first class, and one of a kind.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Me, Myself, and I
No, I'm not referring to the song be De La Sol.
Last night I did something I will be doing more often: I went to a movie by myself. It's not that I worry what other people think, but I find going to a movie is less enjoyable without someone to share the experience.
That said, I must admit I enjoyed myself last night. The movie was good and I didn't care at all that I was by myself. So that's the key - don't go to any crappy movies alone, only good ones.
I saw The Host (or Gwoemul), a Korean "monster movie." It was one of the best monster movies I've seen in ages. It had the required monster movie genre elements: creature that's created by human abuse of the environment, and the hero was the least likely in his sloth and laziness and poor fathering skills. But it was also had very Korean sensibilities - cultural and historical references that American audiences may not get. What really got me was the political undertone. The cause of the environmental disturbance in the first place is the result of the American military's presence in Korea, and there are other references to the U.S. in Korea through out the picture, although they aren't heavy handed. There's an American military doctor who's a bit of a mad scientist, and who has a Korean lackie who speaks English with a very practiced American accent. The main character's brother is an angry guy who participated in demonstrations back in the 80s and early 90s. Clear references there about the split in Korean society between the pro-American and anti-American sentiment. Finally, the title "The Host" is itself a reference not only to the virus that the creature supposedly carries, but to Korea itself, which is host to the American "virus" of military power.
In typical Korean style, there is melodrama, but it is tempered with humor and touching scenes that aren't over-played. It also fulfills the requirement of a changed world at the end of Act III that all good monster movies offer. They did not opt for a Hollywood ending, which was very gratifying.
Korean cinema is impressive in its self-contained success. Unlike many other Asian countries, Korea's top-rated movies are not likely to be Hollywood pics, but rather their own films, which are now enjoying a growing international presence.
Last night I did something I will be doing more often: I went to a movie by myself. It's not that I worry what other people think, but I find going to a movie is less enjoyable without someone to share the experience.
That said, I must admit I enjoyed myself last night. The movie was good and I didn't care at all that I was by myself. So that's the key - don't go to any crappy movies alone, only good ones.
I saw The Host (or Gwoemul), a Korean "monster movie." It was one of the best monster movies I've seen in ages. It had the required monster movie genre elements: creature that's created by human abuse of the environment, and the hero was the least likely in his sloth and laziness and poor fathering skills. But it was also had very Korean sensibilities - cultural and historical references that American audiences may not get. What really got me was the political undertone. The cause of the environmental disturbance in the first place is the result of the American military's presence in Korea, and there are other references to the U.S. in Korea through out the picture, although they aren't heavy handed. There's an American military doctor who's a bit of a mad scientist, and who has a Korean lackie who speaks English with a very practiced American accent. The main character's brother is an angry guy who participated in demonstrations back in the 80s and early 90s. Clear references there about the split in Korean society between the pro-American and anti-American sentiment. Finally, the title "The Host" is itself a reference not only to the virus that the creature supposedly carries, but to Korea itself, which is host to the American "virus" of military power.
In typical Korean style, there is melodrama, but it is tempered with humor and touching scenes that aren't over-played. It also fulfills the requirement of a changed world at the end of Act III that all good monster movies offer. They did not opt for a Hollywood ending, which was very gratifying.
Korean cinema is impressive in its self-contained success. Unlike many other Asian countries, Korea's top-rated movies are not likely to be Hollywood pics, but rather their own films, which are now enjoying a growing international presence.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Creating Space
It's that time again - spring - although you'd never know it from the snow falling outside. Anyway, it's time that I start thinking about how I'm going to organize my writing this summer.
I've decided to put in for studio space at Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts right after the semester is over. I've started the next revision of the sci fi (Sentinel Station) and I'm feeling good about it. I'd like to finish a draft or two before summer actually starts - esp. since I don't yet know if I'm going to Korea in June or July or whenever.
I'd also like to get moving on "Beauty Is..." since I started that over the winter and it hasn't gotten very far. I need to dig in and find the space to do this.
I'd like to find a physical space - like an office - that will allow me to focus unconditionally. I find it hard to do that in our office that's jammed to the gills, and in our home where there are always things to distract me (that I "should" be doing). I have to accept that I need structure - going out of my house and being at an office by a certain time might seem draconian, but I believe it'll help me if I feel that my writing is a job rather than a hobby that I do in my home when time permits.
Problem is, I can't afford to pay rent on an outside space. Yes, there are coffee shops, and sometimes that works, but all it takes is for some mom and her two screaming kids to come in to break the mood and I'm ready to kill someone.
So, I'm putting this out into the universe: I need a space to write this summer.
I've decided to put in for studio space at Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts right after the semester is over. I've started the next revision of the sci fi (Sentinel Station) and I'm feeling good about it. I'd like to finish a draft or two before summer actually starts - esp. since I don't yet know if I'm going to Korea in June or July or whenever.
I'd also like to get moving on "Beauty Is..." since I started that over the winter and it hasn't gotten very far. I need to dig in and find the space to do this.
I'd like to find a physical space - like an office - that will allow me to focus unconditionally. I find it hard to do that in our office that's jammed to the gills, and in our home where there are always things to distract me (that I "should" be doing). I have to accept that I need structure - going out of my house and being at an office by a certain time might seem draconian, but I believe it'll help me if I feel that my writing is a job rather than a hobby that I do in my home when time permits.
Problem is, I can't afford to pay rent on an outside space. Yes, there are coffee shops, and sometimes that works, but all it takes is for some mom and her two screaming kids to come in to break the mood and I'm ready to kill someone.
So, I'm putting this out into the universe: I need a space to write this summer.
Kurt Vonnegut dies
Very sad news greeted me when I checked the headlines this morning. Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday of brain injuries after a fall at his home. Here is an obit from Assoc. Press on Yahoo!News.
I am motivated to go back and re-read some of his classics, as well as read the ones I never got around to. Put that on the list.
I am motivated to go back and re-read some of his classics, as well as read the ones I never got around to. Put that on the list.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Greenscreenland
I think it's worthwhile to note that last Sat. I had my first ever experience acting in front of a greenscreen. For anyone not familiar with this term, it refers to the filmmaking process of shooting subjects in front of a completely green background, which is then replaced (or "keyed") with an actual background. All of George Lucas' latest Star Wars trilogy was filmed this way, as are many sci fi films and TV. It requires the actors to pretend they are in a place, a place that only exists in their minds, and sometimes even to interact with things and people that aren't there.
My little trip into Greenscreenland was easy, but I wonder how actors who don't even have another actor to interact with can manage. I'd find that frustrating.
Anyway, it's one more thing to add to my C.V.
My little trip into Greenscreenland was easy, but I wonder how actors who don't even have another actor to interact with can manage. I'd find that frustrating.
Anyway, it's one more thing to add to my C.V.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Easter Yum Yums
You can see who's in charge in Elsie's Kitchen:
My favorite part of yesterday at Momazoo's:
My favorite part of yesterday at Momazoo's:
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Yin and Yang...
...otherwise known as the Hi Lo Game, from The Price Is Right.
I received an abject lesson in the extremes of life as a writer, aspiring to enter the professional realm.
Last Saturday, as I reported earlier, was a tremendous Hi. On Thursday came an equally intense experience in the opposite direction. A Lo so heinous that it kept me down for two days. I received some "feedback" (notice the quotation marks, which question the appropriateness of the word in this context) from someone I'd trusted to read my sci fi screenplay. Initially, his feedback was this: He couldn't get past page 20 because it was so boring, AND, the main character (who is a woman who happens to be a pilot) needs to kick ass and be more like Starbuck from BSG.
The first piece of his "feedback" was devastating, and the second part of the "feedback" was just ludicrous. It was a slap in the face, psychically. I think he almost enjoyed tossing off his comments - they were said in such a casual way.
At first I just sort of sat there and tried to hear something usable in his rambling. Later I went back to him and demanded that he give me more reasonable information - what was working, what wasn't, SPECIFICALLY. I did finally get some usable feedback that I am taking into consideration when addressing the next draft of this screenplay.
I learned quite a bit from this experience:
1. Be ready for people to be assholes. They will try to tear you down if they can. Or, they are so full of themselves they won't think that they should have to give any thought to their comments. Remember this is a shortcoming on THEIR part, not mine.
2. Also be ready to listen for the kernels of truth even in the most assholian of comments. Try to separate this stupid person's ego from the information, and my own stupid ego from the information. If there is something usable in what the person has to say, then strain all the bullshit and use the usable bits.
3. Trust my gut - I know what's best for my story and characters. Everyone has an opinion and they love to tell the world what it is. Be ready to listen (or not), but don't assume other people are right all the time.
4. Be more careful who I ask to read a work-in-progress. I really need a writing community - a place where trust is developed and everyone agrees on giving appropriate feedback.
5. Use this to become a better writing teacher, as well as a better writer. Remember what feedback needs to accomplish - affirming what's going well, pointing out what's not working, provide some places to help the writer brainstorm his or her own solutions.
In short - I am a good writer, I need to grow a thicker skin, and find my own truth in any situation no matter how unpleasant. And then turn that around and become a better teacher as well.
I received an abject lesson in the extremes of life as a writer, aspiring to enter the professional realm.
Last Saturday, as I reported earlier, was a tremendous Hi. On Thursday came an equally intense experience in the opposite direction. A Lo so heinous that it kept me down for two days. I received some "feedback" (notice the quotation marks, which question the appropriateness of the word in this context) from someone I'd trusted to read my sci fi screenplay. Initially, his feedback was this: He couldn't get past page 20 because it was so boring, AND, the main character (who is a woman who happens to be a pilot) needs to kick ass and be more like Starbuck from BSG.
The first piece of his "feedback" was devastating, and the second part of the "feedback" was just ludicrous. It was a slap in the face, psychically. I think he almost enjoyed tossing off his comments - they were said in such a casual way.
At first I just sort of sat there and tried to hear something usable in his rambling. Later I went back to him and demanded that he give me more reasonable information - what was working, what wasn't, SPECIFICALLY. I did finally get some usable feedback that I am taking into consideration when addressing the next draft of this screenplay.
I learned quite a bit from this experience:
1. Be ready for people to be assholes. They will try to tear you down if they can. Or, they are so full of themselves they won't think that they should have to give any thought to their comments. Remember this is a shortcoming on THEIR part, not mine.
2. Also be ready to listen for the kernels of truth even in the most assholian of comments. Try to separate this stupid person's ego from the information, and my own stupid ego from the information. If there is something usable in what the person has to say, then strain all the bullshit and use the usable bits.
3. Trust my gut - I know what's best for my story and characters. Everyone has an opinion and they love to tell the world what it is. Be ready to listen (or not), but don't assume other people are right all the time.
4. Be more careful who I ask to read a work-in-progress. I really need a writing community - a place where trust is developed and everyone agrees on giving appropriate feedback.
5. Use this to become a better writing teacher, as well as a better writer. Remember what feedback needs to accomplish - affirming what's going well, pointing out what's not working, provide some places to help the writer brainstorm his or her own solutions.
In short - I am a good writer, I need to grow a thicker skin, and find my own truth in any situation no matter how unpleasant. And then turn that around and become a better teacher as well.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
You Will Be Catalogued!
Bizarro downloaded the first episode of Doctor Who's third season (we won't see it here on Sci Fi until later this year, I think). If anyone out there follows the show, then you know that the Doctor's companion from the first two seasons, Rose, is gone (to a better place), and he has a new companion coming in this season - Martha Jones. So far from what I've seen, Martha is a good fit. Catch all the dirt on BBC's Doctor Who site.
If you haven't watched the new Doctor Who, you need to. Great fun!
You will be catalogued!
If you haven't watched the new Doctor Who, you need to. Great fun!
You will be catalogued!
My Big Break
It's a perfectly sunny, warm spring morning. I am riding the high of this weekend, and hopefully will be for some time to come.
On Saturday I went to a forum that was held as part of the Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival, which really isn't "environmental" the way you think it is. Anyway, the forum was on "getting your break" into the film biz. The panel members were all active filmmakers, writers, producers etc. with a wide variety of backgrounds. One of them was my mentor/supervisor at work, who is a published novelist and screenwriter. She introduced me to a fairly big name in L.A., someone who's won awards for his writing, who's written for TV and film. It was a brief but inspiring conversation with him (his name is Steve).
I came away from the forum chock full of ideas and notions about myself as a writer, and my career as a writer. The #1 thing: seek validation and grow in confidence. Much of the validation I'd been lacking has been here all along, and I just needed to see it. The panel and Steve in particular said a few things that really made me think about what I have accomplished, and that I haven't really allowed myself the feeling of confidence based on those accomplishments.
That's point #2: the "big break" may not be and usually isn't some magical moment of being "discovered" but rather the moments of meeting people and being in the right place at the right time which lead to the point in your career where you feel you've "made it." Which means you have to put yourself out there as much as you have to be sitting at the computer writing. This has never been easy for me. But Saturday night I had good practice:
Sat. night Bizarro, PMP and I went to a screening of The Namesake, directed by Mira Nair (one of my faves), and based on the novel of the same name by Jhumpa Lahiri (who also published a book of short stories, called Interpreter of Maladies). The film was really a feast and was very moving. The moderators of the discussion afterward left something to be desired (to put it mildly). After the screening, the three of us wanted to go out for a drink. We decided to hit the FLEFF after party and so that's what we did. It was a great little soiree (and the space was loung-a-rific at the Lost Dog Cafe in downtown Ithaca). And Steve was there - and I decided it was now or never. I screwed up the courage to re-introduce myself and he remembered me. We had a really great conversation about teaching screenwriting, and about getting agents, and about the film we'd seen earlier that night (he was also at that screening of The Namesake and had given the awful discussion moderator a run for her money). It was a great conversation to have, and he seems like a really cool guy.
I also made sure the festival directors knew who I was and offered to help next year in whatever way possible. Steve stood there (having known me all of maybe 30 minutes total at that point) and put in a number of good words for me with the festival director. Next year, I will hopefully be moderating a film discussion, which will thrill me to the bones.
Before he left for the evening, I made sure I said good-bye to Steve and he invited me to email him anytime.
How is THAT for a productive, fun evening? I'm usually shy about talking to strangers and almost complete strangers, but when I connect to someone, it's easy. I felt I connected well with Steve and I'm proud of myself for taking the initiative. Not only that, I took the initiative to volunteer myself for next year's festival with the directors.
Well, I'm tired from all this patting myself on the back, so I better get back to my morning's work. Here's to my big break, which has already begun!
On Saturday I went to a forum that was held as part of the Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival, which really isn't "environmental" the way you think it is. Anyway, the forum was on "getting your break" into the film biz. The panel members were all active filmmakers, writers, producers etc. with a wide variety of backgrounds. One of them was my mentor/supervisor at work, who is a published novelist and screenwriter. She introduced me to a fairly big name in L.A., someone who's won awards for his writing, who's written for TV and film. It was a brief but inspiring conversation with him (his name is Steve).
I came away from the forum chock full of ideas and notions about myself as a writer, and my career as a writer. The #1 thing: seek validation and grow in confidence. Much of the validation I'd been lacking has been here all along, and I just needed to see it. The panel and Steve in particular said a few things that really made me think about what I have accomplished, and that I haven't really allowed myself the feeling of confidence based on those accomplishments.
That's point #2: the "big break" may not be and usually isn't some magical moment of being "discovered" but rather the moments of meeting people and being in the right place at the right time which lead to the point in your career where you feel you've "made it." Which means you have to put yourself out there as much as you have to be sitting at the computer writing. This has never been easy for me. But Saturday night I had good practice:
Sat. night Bizarro, PMP and I went to a screening of The Namesake, directed by Mira Nair (one of my faves), and based on the novel of the same name by Jhumpa Lahiri (who also published a book of short stories, called Interpreter of Maladies). The film was really a feast and was very moving. The moderators of the discussion afterward left something to be desired (to put it mildly). After the screening, the three of us wanted to go out for a drink. We decided to hit the FLEFF after party and so that's what we did. It was a great little soiree (and the space was loung-a-rific at the Lost Dog Cafe in downtown Ithaca). And Steve was there - and I decided it was now or never. I screwed up the courage to re-introduce myself and he remembered me. We had a really great conversation about teaching screenwriting, and about getting agents, and about the film we'd seen earlier that night (he was also at that screening of The Namesake and had given the awful discussion moderator a run for her money). It was a great conversation to have, and he seems like a really cool guy.
I also made sure the festival directors knew who I was and offered to help next year in whatever way possible. Steve stood there (having known me all of maybe 30 minutes total at that point) and put in a number of good words for me with the festival director. Next year, I will hopefully be moderating a film discussion, which will thrill me to the bones.
Before he left for the evening, I made sure I said good-bye to Steve and he invited me to email him anytime.
How is THAT for a productive, fun evening? I'm usually shy about talking to strangers and almost complete strangers, but when I connect to someone, it's easy. I felt I connected well with Steve and I'm proud of myself for taking the initiative. Not only that, I took the initiative to volunteer myself for next year's festival with the directors.
Well, I'm tired from all this patting myself on the back, so I better get back to my morning's work. Here's to my big break, which has already begun!
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