Scary Mary!

Thanks to Anita Marie for this:

Julie Andrews is da bomb

Which musical extravaganza do you prefer:

Sound of Music (Julie Andrews as postulent nun-turned nanny of seven-turned Frau Von Trapp-turned Nazi Austria escapee)

or...






















Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews as magical nanny-derby winner on a merry-go-round horse-sweet on a chimney sweep-family mender)?

















Please leave a comment!

Okay fine; you need me to get academic on your ass, I will.

PRI interviewed Diablo Cody, mastermind of "Jennifer's Body," and I would just like to poke some gaping, bleeding holes in her b.s.

From the transcript:

The theme of 'Jennifer's Body,' said Cody, is about the horror of being a teenager, "A person who is under the influence of hormones, and jealousy and society, is by nature combustible and scary and unpredictable, and I think anybody who's ever lived with a teenager knows this to be true.

But aren't most teen-horror movies about these same themes? How is this any different from any other teen-horror flick?

The dynamics of friendship between teenage girls, which was explored in the humorously dark 1980s movie "Heathers," is at the core of "Jennifer's Body."

and

"Heathers" had a big impact on Cody -- she called it life-changing, "It influences my entire life and my entire career path, and everything that I do -- it's like gospel.

"Heathers" did it right; it was genius, it was superlative. So stop trying to do what's already been done! And stop trying to convince me that because it has some kind of manufactured post-feminist tinge to it, it's worth my time!

Said Cody about her own film, "The germ of the plot ... is about the two girls and the relationship between them, and the fact that they had this friendship that went all the way back to childhood, but had now turned toxic."

Okay, fine... but I didn't care a whit about either character. There was so much exposition, and so much attention paid to being ironic (a hallmark of today's hipsters), that the characters were flat and unexciting. Yawn. It became a standard, totally predictable horror movie with empty characters and little to care about. The expository flashes behind the end credits were an enormous let-down. If you're going to put us through all this agonizing, first-person voice-over so that we can try to give a crap about the main character, and then you insist on dragging us through the inevitable battle in Act III*, at least let us see her final act of contrition, the culmination of her story.

Two hours of my life I'll never get back. Gone for good. That's the real horror story.

*BTW, how did breaking the locket have any effect on the demon-possessed Jennifer at that point? Based on the mythology used in the screenplay, it shouldn't have!

"Jennifer's Bore-dy"

This is what one review had to say about Diablo Cody's latest cinematic work:

Still, the movie introduces a little rrriot grrrl-y feminism to a genre that for too long has been predicated on female victimization. Kusama ("Girlfight") handles the structural imperatives with solid timing and occasional panache. And between all the compulsive punning and look-at-me snarkitude, Cody manages to create moments of genuine humor.

To which I say: horseshit. This movie sucked. I want those 2 hours back. I feel awful that my husband paid $7.50 for my ticket to see this "it's been done, and it's been done better" horror-wannabe flick that doesn't even make me remember how much I hated high school. Oh yeah, it's THAT BORING.

As much as I adored "Juno," I hated "Jennifer's Body." That'll teach me to go see a matinee on a gorgeous sunny day in September when I should've been on my patio with a tropical drinkie-poo and a book. Humph.

The Fourth Kind

Land of the Lost

We watched a slew of these episodes during the marathon on Sci Fi Channel and it was fun; I was getting into the story line (yes, there was one!). I remembered a lot from seeing it as a kid, but of course grown-up eyes see much more. Like Holly grew up between Seasons 2 & 3 but they kept her in pigtail braids. There were only 3 Sleestack at a time because they only had 3 costumes. Will looked suspiciously like David Cassidy (turns out they had him lined up to replace Cassidy on the Partridge Family but then the show was canceled). The Sleestack aren't really that scary - they're dumb, move really slowly, and can't throw nets very well.

I'm saddened that the new movie coming out will be just a Will Farrell goofball vehicle, with none of the mystical science fiction element that made the old show so much fun to watch. Just another reason to despise Will Farrell.

"I forgot all about your needs; I was too busy tending to my own."

This awesome quote from Aqua Teen Hunger Force seems to be a reigning theme of the week. I've experienced a distressing lack of boundaries, disrespect for my hallowed and well-deserved yet puny 30 minute lunch break, and the stink eye from a fellow customer who clearly felt I needed to get out of her way so she could do her business.

What the hell, people? First of all, there's this thing called CIVILITY which used to be a mark of CIVILIZATION. Secondly, a person's lunch is SACRED. You're a liberal, don't you realize how hard the unions fought for that? Jeezuz!

It's okay; I kept telling myself today that every time someone treats me like an inferior admininstrative assistant with no human rights, it will be that much easier to walk away from the job when the time comes. I've been wracked with guilt at the thought of "betraying" my boss who HAS been incredibly wonderful to me in so many ways. Then my space gets stepped on by the Flying Nun, or the Jersey Girl interrupts my lunch to get a message off the answering service, and I remember why I'm not happy there. Oh, and also, I'm not a freaking secretary - I'm a TEACHER and a WRITER.

Last night Paranormal State was a repeat, which was a bummer. But next week they go chasing UFOs (with Chip Coffey!) for their mid-season finale. Stoke!

I am cooking up a kick-ass sauce with a base of hot turkey Italian sassage, sauted onions and garlic with sherry, and some organic tomatoes. Can't wait to eat when Bizarro gets home!

Last thing - I want to recommend that everyone see the film "Tampopo," a Japanese foody flick so-called a "noodle Western." It's fun, kooky, and will make you hungry (esp. if you like Japanese food)!

Bond - James Bond

One of my students mentioned James Bond in class today, and it put me in mind of my favorite Bond theme songs. There are the top two:





I admit to not seeing the more recent Bond movies. I got bored. Give me classic Connery or early Moore, before they made Bond all smarmy.

Worst Bond themes EVER (it's a tie, folks, I can't decide which one turns my stomach more): Octopussy and Moonraker (so bad I won't even post them here. Go find them at YouTube if you want your ears to bleed out.)

Happy Fourth (or, SUCK IT YANKEES!)

Two weeks down, four to go. So far I am well-pleased. My boss is great about recognizing the teachers' abilities and responsibility to tailor the workload to our students. This year we have a lot of 16-year olds (just out of sophomore year of HS) who are really struggling with all the academic vocab that is being thrown at them. I have mostly 16-year olds, as do a couple of the other teachers, so I have had to amend parts of the schedule. It's nice to know my professional judgment and expertise are appreciated and trusted.

Also nice to know - I have a teaching gig for the fall semester! The screenwriting program at the Other School on the Hill needs me, and I have heeded the call. I'll be teaching advanced screenwriting, as opposed to the intro class I've taught for them before. This will be fun - all or most of the students are screenwriting concentrations, and they will work on one project all semester. I am grateful for the opportunity and look forward to getting myself back in the fold.

I've been trying to work on the script for the Korea doco. It's hard. Hm... I'm starting to lose focus and wonder what it is I'm trying to say... I re-read some of my journal entries from that year and it's uncomfortable to remember some of the shit I went through, personally and professionally. I actually endured a lot of hard times, and if I've realized anything, it's that my memory sure has romanticized a lot of that year. I remember all the good stuff, not the shitty stuff. I suppose that's a good thing - but at the same time, will my film be honest without the dark stuff?

Tomorrow we're both getting massages, then I have to get some work done for school. Going to MZ's on Sunday.

And can I just say that I don't know how to feel about the new X-Files movie. Bizarro says with copious levels of scorn, "In this day and age, who gives a shit?" But there's a part of me that wants to see it... I suppose that's what they're counting on. Sentimental schmucks like me who can't get enough UFO-conspiracy theory and will they/won't they?

Oh, and for the record, Coco Crisp DID catch that ball in the 9th inning and Jeter should have been out. Red Sox should have won 6-3, not 6-4.

Horno Tostador

Holy shit I am SUCH a nerd! I just re-read my last post and realized that I really do sound like a total geek. Oh well. If the tennis shoe fits... (oblique reference to the 10th Doctor's choice of footwear). Damn, see? There I go again.

My students had to write a detailed description of someone or something or someplace for their first paper. The first paper off the stack I read was, in fact, a biography of Vincent vanGogh. How do you say "HUH?" in Chinese? But it's okay; we had our conference today and she gets to rewrite the entire thing. She did have some description of a few of his paintings, but 85% of the paper was about how he got kicked out of everything because of his problem with authority, and how he went nuts, and how he cut off his ear, and how he shot himself.

Oh well. Whaddyagonnado?

Tomorrow we go to the campus museum (which isn't bad for what it is). Had to give them a crash course in art appreciation, which I didn't appreciate because you cannot teach someone how to appreciate art in 3 days. Not only are they supposed to understand what they're looking at, then they have to write a paper. I am not down with that. At all. But it's not my call. *shrug*

Even with teaching a class and four conferences and a trip to grocery store, I was still home by 4:30 today. This is a schedule I can live with.

Didn't sleep well last night, though. Insomnia and multiple wake-ups during the night. Don't know why. I'll be hitting the hay as soon as I am well-entertained by Chip Coffey and his Psychic Kids tonight.

But first, dinner, laundry, and to finish the book of short stories I've been reading, A Thousand Years of Good Prayers by Yiyun Li, which apparently has been made into a movie of the same title.

P.S. We bought a new toaster oven yesterday. The box is in English and Spanish (today's title). Finally, after being married 3 years, we're starting to replace all the old and busted bachelor/bachelorette stuff with grown-up stuff. The only downside to eloping is not getting the cool wedding presents.

Last Day...Year of the City...2008

1. Name that quote.
2. Had my last class today. I have a stack of papers to grade and hand back on Friday when we meet for our final exam (it's a take home essay), and then I'll have to grade the final essays. I expect that a week from today, I'll be done-done.

Tired, and ready for sleep as soon as Medium is over. Tomorrow going to visit Momazoo.

Happy Cinquo de Mayo!

Forbidden Kingdom

Bizarro and I went on a rare movie date on a Friday night to catch the new Jet Li/Jackie Chan fantasy/martial arts flick. I give it a 3/5 stars, though I'd like to give it 4, but I just can't considering the white kid supposably from South Boston didn't have a trace of an accent. The story was, alas, utterly predictable. Despite the detractions, I thought it was loads of fun, and when it hits Borders bargain DVD bin some day, I will snap it up just so I can watch Jet Li as the Monkey King prance around and grin like an idiot over and over again.

Bizarro makes the excellent point that (spoiler alert, heh, as if you won't see it coming in the first 10 minutes of the movie anyway) there is a strong underlying racist tone: it takes the white kid to destroy the evil bad-ass even with Jet Li and Jackie Chan in the room, playing the Monkey King and an Immortal, respectively. I can see his point, but don't know if I buy it. I could spin that around and say that the point is that you don't have to be an immortal or a monkey king to win the day; heroes are everywhere, even in Southie.

I appreciated the fact that although there was the expected training sequence, the kid never gets to be nearly as good as the Monk or the Immortal, and although he can hold his own with the no-name foot solders of the Jade Army, he appropriately gets his ass kicked by the Witch. It's really only by being in the right place at the right time that he is able to help destroy His Evil Badness in the end, so it's not like he actually fought the guy and beat him after the Monkey King couldn't.

So yeah, what the hell, I'll raise my rating to 3.5/5 stars. Let us not forget the "Yankees suck" reference, which simply can't go unrewarded.

The Forbidden Kingdom on IMDb

Sicko

I have fallen. Or rather, my immune system has. After tending to Bizarro's sickliness the past couple days, I have come down with the same thing. Headache, nausea, wicked sore throat, and general aches and fatigue. I am not happy. At all. I had planned to see my mom this weekend but that didn't work out, and I didn't get much done, either. Although, I did finish a revision of my sci fi screenplay. I'm ready to print it out and take the Red Pen to it for additional scenes and a possible subplot I've been toying with.

I'm supposed to teach tomorrow. We'll have to see how I am by 2:00 when I usually leave the apartment. I have a bad feeling about this.

But, not THIS:



I refuse to read anything about it so that I can experience it in as close to innocence as I can at the age of 40 with an MFA in film. Can't wait!

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