Last Day

Taking a break to belt out a quick blog post. It's my last day of writing retreat. What a wonderful couple weeks it's been! I've accomplished everything I set out to do (or will, by the end of today), plus I was able to enjoy some of the Great Outdoors when the sun's peeked through. I also took advantage of the deep bathtub here, eaten a lot less junk (less food in general, come to think of it), done Yoga in the buff (TMI?), and held the rest of the world at bay fairly well while still attending to the really important stuff that couldn't wait until tomorrow.

As usual, I am sad at the thought of leaving this place, but I am ever so grateful that I am able to come here a couple times a year to remind myself what I'm on this planet to do.

I realized a very important shift of awareness a few days ago: I identify myself as a writer, first, and teacher, second. This awareness is a huge wave of relief for me; I no longer have to fight the truth of who I am, just because the world deems it more practical to say "I'm a teacher. Oh, and I write when I have time," rather than "I'm a writer, and also, I teach & tutor part time." In a realistic sense, this means that I don't have to feel guilty for putting other things at bay so that I can write.

I can say, for instance, "No, I can't tutor weekends, because that's my prize time for writing." And I did, in fact, have to say that, when my new jobby job tried to suck me in for hours I never agreed to in the first place. That's right. I have to remain on guard at all times, which is a sad state of affairs, but that's academia for you. (Weekends, my ass!)

And speaking of being a writer...

Planes + Ice = Suckitude

I spent a wonderful weekend on the Cape with Racheeee, which ended in a horrid day of travel during a Nor'easter. Morning flight was canceled, afternoon flights delayed. Sat on a tiny freezing cold prop plane at La Guardia for freaking forever while they had to jump the batteries (I kid you not) and then wait in line to be de-iced.

But the weekend itself was layered with beach, waves, memories, laughter, fun, dreaming for the future, wonderful food, and Wellfleet Oysters! Took a lot of video on the Flip, which I need to get onto a DVD for Rachel. Thank you so much Rachel! I look forward to our future projects and collaborations!

This weekend: down the shitter

Yesterday I had a severe case of ennui. I was unable to focus, concentrate, create, think or do anything. I just went to bed and figured things would get better today.

They didn't.

The hot bacon grease I was pouring into the can slipped out of my hand and splashed up onto my neck and face this morning, giving me first and second degree burns. Bizarro drove me to the ER, where I got perkisette and a painful shot of anti-inflammatory (in my bum, woudn't you know).

I'm doped up on vicadin now, and will be so for a few days to come. I have to get an appointment with the plastic surgeon "just in case" although the ER doc said it probably wouldn't scar because it's pretty superficial. I'm hoping. Hoping.

I can verify that hot bacon grease and human skin don't go well together. It's like introducing anti-matter into the matter universe. Not a good mix.

This was all on top of a very stressful week - waiting to hear whether Mom's doctors are diagnosing her with bone cancer.

This is a definite do-over weekend.

When it rains...

It pours, as the saying goes, and right now it's pouring (figuratively and literally).

A quick recap of the last few days:

1. Had my observation at Out-of-Town-University on Thursday. It went something like this:


(thanks to B. for this vid)

The thing about my observation is that she didn't give me any positive feedback, other than a general acknowledgement that it didn't suck completely. "Overall it was fine and you were in control of the class, but I'd just like to point a couple things out." This statement was followed by 40 minutes of criticism and suggestions, not all of which were even helpful.

2. After that, I drove to Boston for a fun if hectic weekend. The main event was JEB's wedding, for which I did a reading (and did a fine job, I must say). JEB - or rather now I guess I need to call her JET - was resplendent. She was quite stressed out the night of the rehearsal and dinner, which she came to call The Freakshow. But I reminded her that a bad dress rehearsal portends a fabulous performance. The wedding was gorgeous and simple, a Catholic Mass, and the reception was perfect. JET looked like the happiest girl in the world, and so did her new husband. Only, you know, he's a boy. And stuff.

3. Also got to visit another childhood friend of mine and his family. They have done very well for themselves; their house is bigger than our apartment building and the parking lot together.

4. Got to videotape Owen taking a few wobbly steps, and also had some good 1:1 time with my nephew during my visit to their house. My niece is so sweet; she baked and frosted brownies and made us divine coffee for dessert.

5. A bit of sad news - my sister-in-law from my bro's first marriage has COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). We were all supposed to have dinner together on Sunday, but she had to cancel because she wasn't feeling good. She's been a heavy smoker since her teenage years, and now she's in her 50s.

6. Raced back to NY yesterday and had to pull my head together to prep for this morning's class at Out-of-Town-University, which I was dreading. But it did go well; I'm trying a couple new things after my disappointing observation feedback.

I've decided for the remainder of the semester at OOTUniversity, I am focusing on two things and two things only: 1. How to help my students succeed and 2. What I can learn to make me a better teacher. I am not going to think about my supervisor, or the program, or the school, or the drive (although that will be difficult). This is about me and teaching, and nothing else.

And of course our beloved Red Sox are in the World Series, so there's hope for us all. It was exciting to watch those ALCS games with my brother. The night of the wedding, the DJ kept us up to date with the score, and the entire reception hall erupted in cheers every time the Sox scored another run. Good times! Whenever the Sox got a run and I'd call Bizarro to gloat, he'd answer his phone with either "Shut up, just shut up!" or "It's early, don't worry." So much for your little white towels, Cleveland!

Halloween is coming up; I have to figure out my costume. As if I don't have enough shit to do.

Auspicious Rain

It is raining, which means the temps will finally come down to normal for this time of year. And, His Holiness the Dalai Lama is in town! I am looking forward to seeing him and hearing him speak tomorrow.

Today was another day of hair-pulling at Out of Town University. Once again, the air con was busted in the building where I teach, and the classroom was, according to the thermostat, 80 degrees. Stifling - no fan, nothing. Just hot air and 17 bodies packed into a room only meant to hold about 20.

I also forgot my key again this morning, which isn't a catastrophe because I can just get the spare key in my boss' office, but how embarrassing is it to have to ask for it a second time? I need a better system.

We were offline for a couple days over the weekend - the wireless contract finally ran out and we hadn't yet set up the Road Runner stuff. So Saturday night I went to go online with the cable and it wouldn't go. At all. I spent 45 minutes on the phone with Time Warner/RR (most of which was on hold) only to have them tell me that it must be something with the "business contract" so it was up to me to figure out what the problem was with my apartment manager (since the apartment complex provides the service). Luckily, the manager was able to get the RR guy down here on Monday and figure out what was wrong (took him an hour). The shitty thing is that the 2nd modem is in the living room - and my desk is in the office. Of course Bizarro has the modem in the office by his desk. So for now my computer sits uncomfortably in front of the fire place until we get a wireless router for this puppy.

Oh, and the other thing that happened Saturday night - I cleaned the kitchen and refrigerator, put a bunch of stuff down the garbage disposal -- only to have it all regurgitated into the tub. RotoRooter was out here at 10:00 at night at the behest of the emergency on-call maintenance dude. The plumber was really nice and I asked him whether he investigated paranormal activity in his spare time like those TAPS guys. He laughed and said "No, but I love that show. Those guys are awesome!"

All in all not a bad week so far, although I haven't done any writing in days and days. It's a busy time, and I'm really looking forward to having some time over the winter to write and work on my film.

Ah well, time for some hot cocoa.

Monday Morning

Ugh. I can't believe I'm up. I am still so tired I could sleep a couple more hours.

But I have work to do - work that didn't get done this weekend. On Saturday, Bizarro and I went to the Farmers Market as usual, then to the Ithacon, then to the Apple Festival. In the evening we went to Borders for a little while - I used my Borders Rewards points and a 20% off coupon to pick up "Singin' In The Rain" - a double disc set with a documentary, original song performances, etc. etc. Was extremely disappointed when I got it home, popped it in, and realized it wasn't wide screen. Grrrr. Those heathens.

Time to grade papers...

TGIF

I only worked 3 days at the clinic this week but I feel as if it's been the entire week. Again I'll say: really nice people to work with/for, but the tedious nature of my duties is driving me nuts.

But hey, it's the weekend! I have so much work to do this weekend it's not even worth complaining about. I just have to "Git 'er dun!"

I will take time out for the Farmers Market with Bizarro tomorrow, and I will also make time for Doctor Who tonight (although I've already seen it because he downloads those suckers when they air on the BBC) and tonight's episode of "Most Haunted" because I LOVE how ridiculous those guys are.

Here's to all the 9-to-5'ers out there plugging away and making a living.