Lady Gaga = Ace of Base + Madonna + Steam punk surplus store liquidation sale

Today's title sums up the morning's revelations about life in this modern world.

The last couple days have been fairly obnoxious. More summing up:

1. The Korean university kindly informed me Monday morning that I'd be needing a C-4 visa, which left me with less than 2 weeks to procure said visa.
2. The ENT guy has no idea why I can hear my pulse pounding in my left ear, but assures me my head won't explode on the plane to Korea. At some point when I get back, I'll need an MRI of my head.
3. It's been 60 degrees and/or raining here.
4. I burned my dinner of flax waffles last night.

At least I'm working a roller derby bout Saturday night (although it's a 2-hour drive), my new writing group is going well, as is my curriculum planning for Korea, and my writing projects are kicking some butt. These things are not to be overlooked, because they're keeping me sane right now.

Though she's not around these parts much any more, welcome home to the U.S.D.A., Salty Miss Jill.

Scomin' Up

(like a flower...)

Spring is only a couple days away. It feels so good to say it! I've worn sandals this week. My toes look up to the sun and yelp for joy. Soon my skin will no longer be translucent white! I will not look like a derned vampyr what with my jagged eye teeth and my see-through skin and clammy-cold texture.

I have started to think about where else I'd like to live, if I do have to go elsewhere for a job. San Diego keeps coming to mind #1. It just keeps coming up in conversation and in random places, and it's been in my head for awhile. Boston is cool but very expensive. It's the only place I would consider living in the Northeast at this point.

In any case, if I need to go, I am going to a place with a shoreline. As in with an ocean, not some namby-pamby fresh water slime-bottomed lake. [Addendum: What is with you, lakes? You think you're so cool with your wineries and your chataus-on-the-you and your rowing teams splashing around. Really. You are SLIMY. That truth cannot be dismissed, ignored or excused. You have no oysters, no shrimp, no dolphins. You are NOT an ocean and therefore you are less-than. There. I said it.]

Also, I had to yell at my students yesterday. Not all of them deserved it but then again it's always good to answer the question "why do I write." It's a reminder of what part of you enjoys the torture. And I told those who couldn't answer the question with anything more than "it's cool, I'll get laid, maybe I can move to Hollywood" they probably are in the wrong business.

Then I went out drinking afterwards. Met SMJ and Kyle after picking up Bizarro (who actually WENT OUT on a week night). It was great craic as the Irish say.

Writing Retreat - Day 6 and Epilogue

Yesterday was a fine day at the retreat colony. I did more reading than writing, which was perfect because I had set up a reading nook my first day but hadn't used it all week. I did some revisions on the sci fi; got about about a third of the way through that and want to finish by end of this week. I took my time cleaning up and packing. When Bizarro arrived around 7 to pick me up I'd seen the deer on their evening munchies and was ready to go home.

Today I eased back to life as a teacher and spent 5 hours in my office at school with my students' mid-term portfolios. I'm kinda pissed at a few of them for being such slackers. I'm going to have to go off like an atom bomb in Tuesday's classes. The Irish-Italian Banshee teacher will make an appearance.

Over all feeling pretty upbeat about stuff, despite all the potentially-scary limbo of my career. Maybe I'm getting used to it, or maybe there's something afoot for me and I know better than to freak out.

Congrats to B. for getting a job so soon after the other one tanked. I hope it goes well for you!

Special thanks to SMJ for reading my screenplay today (at work) and "getting it." It's always nice to know that what's in my head can work on the page!

PMP - we have some serious PMP-E time to catch up on when you return from HAH-VID.

Observations

1. Where is all the frakking cinnamon gum? I have been searching everywhere - gas stations, Target, convenience stores, grocery stores. Nothing but ridiculous "sangria explosion" and "ice mint" flavors to be had. The only cinnamon gum I've found is called "Sweet cinnamon" and it tasted like shit. WHERE IS ALL THE HOT CINNAMON GUM? Years ago a friend of mine told me that cinnamon gum was the favored gum of Lesbians everywhere. So I have to wonder, what are all the Lesbians doing for gum these days?

2. Why are movies like "Tomorrow Never Dies" airing on American Movie Classics? WTF? Who does your programming? Twelve year olds? Bring on the classic James Bond - Dr. No, Never Say Never, Diamonds Are Forever. As a reaction to this abomination, Bizarro and I have decided to hold a 007 movie marathon weekend. We've each chosen 3 Bond films. Two of mine (You Only Live Twice and Live and Let Die) are my faves, and the other (Casino Royale, the recent one) I haven't seen yet but would like to. Bizarro of COURSE decided on the 3 WORST Bond films/themes of all time: Living Daylights, A View to A Kill, License to Kill. At least I talked him out of Octopussy, which I cannot abide, though I thought Moonraker should have made the Worst list.

3. People are stupid. Because gas prices have come down a few cents, economy car sales are dropping, and SUV sales (including hybrids, mind you) are climbing again. ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID? Yes.

Despite all the negativity contained herein, I am doing quite well in general, and feel relatively at peace for the moment. The unbelievable Summer of Stress has wound down. Late summer is upon us, with its sort of lazy drawl, before the mad rush of Fall (for those in academe).

PMP - I am glad that the summer is finishing so well for you. Can't wait to have you back!
SMJ - Very soon - drinks - my patio.
AnnieC - Welcome home!
Peege - Hang in there; what goes up must come down
Bizarro - I want a foot rub!

Catching my breath

Mom was in the hospital for 11 days and was finally released on Thursday. We went to visit her today; she wasn't doing too well - her blood pressure was really low - but we got hold of a doctor on call and he said it was likely from the aggressive dialysis they did yesterday, and that they'd probably overdone it a bit. He said unless it goes below 80, it should correct itself, and she should tell the dialysis crew on Monday when she goes in again.

Worse than that, she'd reverted to her horrible eating habits after getting 3 squares a day in the hospital. By 2:30 this afternoon all she'd eaten was toast, juice and some coffee. I made her a roast beef sammich, heated up some carrots I'd cooked with a roast the other night, and gave her half a can of Boost with some milk, along with a stern talking to about the necessity of eating, even if she doesn't feel particularly hungry. And she wonders why her albumen levels have been consistently low for months! She's not eating protein at every meal. Breakfast for her is either toast (carbs) or cereal (carbs) and then she doesn't eat anything for hours. For lunch she's apt to have cottage cheese and some salad. By the time dinner comes she's ready for a full meal, but with that kind of diet, she's missed most of the day's requirements.

I had felt a spate of relief after she came home from the hospital, but after today, I felt my own anxiety levels shoot through the roof. I'm trying to keep up with everything and finding it rather trying because underneath all the work for the summer program, underneath my own concerns about my professional future, money, student loans, and Bizarro's academic and professional future, there lies a constant, thrumming anxiety about my mom. Is she okay, is she taking care of herself, is she getting what she needs, is she safe, etc. etc. etc.

Still trying to find a good option for assisted living, and I have narrowed it down to two places that are local and quasi-local, respectively. Still have shitloads of paper work to do for the VA so she gets veteran's widow benefits, but the good news is all we have to do for the power of attourney thing is get the form notarized. I already am the health proxy, so that's in place at least.

My Bro is taking care of another legal matter involving a piece of almost-worthless land that mom and dad held for decades, and which mom has signed over to my Bro to sell off to the highest bidder (one of the nearby commercial chains who will hopefully want it).

All I can say is if I don't have a kid of my own we are definitely adopting because I can't imagine being her age in her condition without a kid to help me out.

It's now Saturday night and I am winding down at my desk with some stuff I've been meaning to get to for myself (rather than work or mom stuff) and a glass of wine.

In two weeks is the live action role playing extravaganza that I am really looking forward to. It coincides with the end of the summer program, so it feels rather like a light at the end of the tunnel. I always enjoy prepping for these things (this is my 15th year in attendance). More on all that later.

PMP - I know you're going through a rough time too. We now have a patio table (courtesy of mom) and I look forward to sitting out there with you in late summer, lighting the red lamp, drinking our wine and figuring out our lives together.

SMJ - is in TURKEY right now, the lucky sunnovagun! I am really happy for her and her hubby. They've had a bit of a rough time here in Nowhere, Central NY but hubby finally got his tenure approved, so now they can start making plans. I am happy that they have this chance to spend time with his family in Turkey and get away from the doldrums here.

Mai Tai Photos

As promised!


Mai Tai by the fire...


Mai tai-worthy treats...


Now THAT'S a Mai Tai!

I know it was a couple weeks ago, but thanks again PMP and SMJ for making it a great night!

Mai Tai Happens

Last night, PMP, SMJ and I had ourselves a grand Mai Tai party, although the chilly damp rainy weather kept us inside instead of out on the patio. Still, we had the string of festive lights up, and a fire in the fireplace. I had one too many, though, and have woken this morning with a banger of a hangover. I'd forgotten what rum can do to a person. The good news is that the Mai Tais were yummy and now that I know how to do it (watching SMJ pour all night), I can have one pretty much any time I want (instead of going on a bender).

Here's the recipe we used, modified for missing ingredients:

1 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
splash of orange curacao
(orgeat) or in our case, a splash of cheap almond liqueur (could not find orgeat anywhere so this provided the almond color)
(rock candy syrup) again, no dice, so we made due with confectioners sugar
juice of a lime (to taste)
garnish of orange and a sprig of lemon balm (no fresh mint was to be had)

Photos coming soon!

I have to eat my oatmeal now. PMP and I are going to Momazoo's this afternoon. Makin' a pork roast, I believe. I dunno about pork on a hangover, but we'll just find out, won't we?

The quest continues...

Yesterday I stopped into our local wine and liquor shack to pick up a bottle of our favorite comfort wine (Bully Hill Vineyard's "Love My Goat" table red). As long as I was there, I thought I'd peruse the rum section to see if I could get a leg up on what kind of rum to use in the elusive Mai Tai. I was overwhelmed by rum. So, when I paid fuh my wine at the counter, I asked the guy about rum and Mai Tais, and as his eyes glazed over, he reached for the little Bartender's Black Book they had for sale. I looked up Mai Tai, and sure 'nuff, it's the pink pineapple sick-fest version that almost made me vomit on the spot. He said he knew nothing about rum (and really I should have said, THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WORK IN A LIQUOR STORE?). But I have a line on that place via SMJ and know that collectively, those folks aren't very on top of their supposed game.

When the semester finally ends, I will start collecting Mai Tai ingredients in earnest, especially because PMP will be leaving for the summer and I need to send her off with a proper patio Tiki extravaganza!

In The House

JET (formerly JEB) was worried for me after reading Thursday night's post, so I thought it best to follow up. Nothing is WRONG, wrong. Just that I had a very unhealthy dose of reality all too suddenly and my reaction was to run and hide and feel like a loser. But nothing is wrong with Mom, and nothing is really wrong, as I said. It's just one of those things that helped to make Thursday a particularly cruddy day pour moi.

In a nutshell, I realized that we are very VERY far away from being able to buy anything resembling a livable house. But it's okay because we've only been at the "building a life together" thing for 3 years, and we do have other priorities right now, like Bizarro going back to school to get a Masters in Health Administration, and me getting my writing career off the ground and making/promoting this film.

It's all got me to thinking more carefully about the "American dream" of homeownership. JET and I talked about this earlier today - how easy it is to tie one's legitimacy into the ownership of a home. And Salty Miss Jill reminded me yesterday that many of those homeowners are only scraping by to pay for house, kids and the SUVs in the 2-car garage by working their asses off, some at jobs they don't even like.

It's been pointed out to me that living with joy is more authentic and really more "legitimate" than living life on a treadmill. I know all this is really a "Well DUH" sort of topic, but it's surprising how much of this nonsense even us sensitive, artistic, spiritual types buy into out of sheer over-stimulation with the same message our entire lives.

Here's another way of looking at the issue (how perfect that this showed up on Icanhascheezburger.com yesterday):


see more crazy cat pics

40th Birthday Bash Part I

Yesterday I began what is to be a multi-event celebration of my fourth decade on the planet. PMP and I went shopping in the afternoon, which was a little more chaotic than either of us would have liked. Apparently everyone decided it was a good day to go to the mall since the temps were finally above freezing. I bought myself a pair of abalone earrings, and a couple things for mom and Bizarro. From there we picked up the things for dinner, including 2 bottles of chianti.

Dinner went off without a hitch, although there were 6 of us crammed around the table. Salty Miss Jill baked a delovely chocolate cake, which finished off a spaghetti dinner that I thought was quite passable, although certainly not my best work.

After cleaning up we headed out to Todd's Beach House. Now, understand that we live in Upstate New York. Cow country. Well, wine country, to be precise, but you get the idea. It was dark, it was snowing, and SMJ sorta kinda forgot to tell us about a crucial left turn that would have brought us to the bar within about 15 minutes. We were in two cars - Bizarro the designated driver in our car, PMP in hers. We realized when we crossed the county line that we'd gone too far in the wrong direction, so we backtracked and managed to find our way there.

Recall that this was supposed to be a tiki-themed bar, and bear in mind that I was trying really hard not to have any expectations. I couldn't help having a few expectations, but even those were thwarted. The place is essentially a towny bar with some crap from Florida hung on the walls and ceiling. There is a sign that declares it to be a tiki bar, but other than that, there was a cardboard hula girl, a card board tiki mask and maybe some vaguely looking Polynesian-esque strings of lights hanging over the bar. Most of the stuff was surf-related, which is okay, but not what I was hoping for, really.

Having been let down on the appearance angle, I thought, well, let's order a Mai Tai and see what they've got to show for themselves. I had a birthday drink on the house (they were expecting us after my conversation with the owner earlier in the week), but when I asked for a Mai Tai, the bartender had not a freaking clue. She was very nice but really didn't even know what a Mai Tai was. She went for the drink recipe book, and I just said never mind. Instead, she offered me the specialty drink of the place, called a "Tiki Bowl." (Keep in mind that they only had enough ingredients for four of these - I ordered two and my friends Echo and Phyl each ordered one, and then they ran out of pineapple juice.) The drink had Malibu, Admiral and juices. I'm not a big Malibu fan, myself, but I figured "What the hell." I was hoping hoping hoping it to come in something of a fu manchu mug, or at least an actual glass. It was served to me in a plastic cup. With an orange straw. That's it. No umbrella, no sword-with-a-pineapple-and-cherry garnish. But it was strong, and it took only 2 of those suckers to do the job (well, on top of all the wine I'd had before, during and after dinner).

We made the best of the evening, though, and played some pool, thew a couple decent tunes on the jukebox computer, and generally had fun. The people were very kind and the locals were generous and friendly, although I had to stop one guy from playing Jimmy Buffet on the juke box because that would have set me over the edge, on top off the lack of true tiki atmosphere.

Most importantly, I had the good company and love of friends and Bizarro to help me celebrate. Yes, it would have been nicer to be at a cooler bar, but even so, I am grateful to everyone for being there. Thanks especially to Bizarro, who detests townie bars more than I do, and who was trying really hard not to get into any altercations with the three stoner frat-boys sitting near our table. He's a trooper!

I do have photos, which I will post later, along with more commentary. Right now I have to get myself pulled together for 40th Birthday Bash Part II with mom. We're going to our favorite Chinese restaurant, and you know I'm gettin' the Pu Pu Platter.

White Out

An hour ago the sun was shining. Now the snow and wind are creating hazardous white out conditions. I'm looking out onto the patio and I can't believe how much snow has fallen in the last 20 minutes.

Last night I had a much-needed night out. PMP, SMJ, a friend of SMJ's, Bizarro and I all went to our local drinking and eating establishment for some libations and victuals. Then SMJ, PMP and I went to see a band from Philly play at one of the local college pubs. The band was a lot of fun, and I finally got home around 1:30. Damn. I remember nights in Korea when I didn't get in until 3 a.m., and that was every week. These days, staying out til 1:30 in the a.m. is a once or twice a year bender.

I'm glad I got it out of my system because I start my 8 minutes in the morning tomorrow (he recommends beginning on a Monday because Sundays are a day off). Today I'll head up to the exercise room after I get some work done here in the apt.

Can't believe we're heading into Week 4 of the semester already! Despite the raging snow squall outside, yesterday morning I sensed a hint of spring. Something in the quality of the air, the birds singing, the energy vibrating in the air.

Next year I have to take some time to go to Florida or someplace warm in the winter. I can't stand week after week of this snow, grey skies and cold temps. The next two days are supposed to have below zero wind chills. WTF??

He's got MY vote:

I Got What America Needs Right Here

Thanks to SMJ for the link!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good: Two days of partly-sunny skies and near-60 degree temps are doing wonders for my mood.

The Bad: Still facing the funeral for my Uncle Bill this Saturday; and also found out I didn't make it into the semi-finalist round for one of the screenplay competitions I entered last fall.

The Ugly: My writing retreat is canceled because the people at the artists' colony didn't have their shit together and ungraciously bowed out when I called to confirm yesterday. Also, the director of the program at Out of Town University refused to write me a letter of recommendation because she supposedly didn't feel she knew me well enough after only one semester. Never mind that I drove and hour and a half through thick fog, pelting rain, and treacherous snow storm and was never late once for class or a student conference. Never mind that I drove my ass that hour and a half with 2nd degree burns on my face, in pain and exhausted. And the list goes on. I got this news only a few minutes before I found out about Uncle Bill, so last Thursday had to have been just about the suckiest day in awhile.

I know I'm supposed to be leaving the past behind and moving on, but these little tendrils of the total SUCK that was the last half 2007 are still reaching out to trip me up and drag me back into the muck. The Muck of Suck.

Yesterday I was pretty goddamned depressed after the artist colony debacle, but Salty Miss Jill came to my rescue and took me to lunch at our local Chinese/Vietnamese place.

I am working on making the best of the time I have left this break, and not losing any sleep over the assholes that continue to dominate the landscape. Assholes will always be there in some form or another, as will bad luck and tough breaks. Gotta shake their dust from my boots and keep a'goin'. But it ain't easy.

Pork. The beginning of the end.

SMJ has a running gag on her blog about "The Pork Products of the Apocalypse Tarot." Read all about it here and be prepared to fall over laughing.

Some Useful Perspective

I decided not to let the past week's downturns affect me. The important thing is that I have a new teaching job for next semester, and who knows, it might turn into something more lucrative AND reliable. And if not, at least I've got something nailed for the next 6 months.

My Exec. Producer is scheming other ways to get the money from the grant committee. I'm waiting to hear from him now, and in the meantime, I'm looking at other funding sources (which I was going to do anyway, since there is still a lot of funds I'm out from the summer). And, I'm giving it to the Universe.

I only ranted for one day, so that's an improvement. There was a time in my life that that kind of news would have kept me down for a few weeks, as those who've known me a long time can attest to. So this, too, is good.

Today we're putting up the holiday tree! Salty Miss Jill and her hubby are coming over later to partake. I have rum and eggnog at the ready, and some tasty treats as well. The weather is pretty cold and snowy, as you know if you've looked at the news today, so it'll be a good night to get a fire going in the fireplace and hunker down with good friends, holiday spirit(s), and my own sweet Bizarro. I wish PMP could be here, too, but I'm sure she's having fun in The City That Never Sleeps.

I was supposed to visit Momazoo tomorrow, but the weather is supposed to get even nastier, so I will probably be sticking around here, getting some laundry, grading and other school stuff done. Probably just as well.

One more week of Out of Town University, then I can focus on winding down the other job, then it's Winter Break! Soon I will post all the plans I have for Break. Be assured that among them is some much-needed and well-deserved R&R.

End of Summer

Well kiddies, this weekend was the last weekend of summer for yours truly. And it was a lovely weekend, indeed. On Friday I hung out with Salty Miss Jill. Yesterday Bizarro and I went to the Farmers Market, then I hung out at the pool with Salty Miss Jill and went for a dip in the 90 degree heat. PMP came over for dinner last night and we hung out til late. This morning PMP, Bizarro and I had coffee and bagels and then Bizarro went his own way and we girls strolled around the Commons and looked at all the cool jewelry and other treats on the Commons. I felt a bit tired when I got home but I cleaned up my desk space and surrounding corona before taking a nappy nap. Had a good talk with my Big Bro on ze phone, and now here I am.

Tomorrow is a light day, thankfully. I have to go to the local college to get keys and have copies made for class on Friday, and also to sign in two students who are asking to be let into my class (it feels good to be wanted!). Then I will focus on getting materials organized for the Out of Town University class which begins Tuesday morning.

This Wednesday night I'll stay with Momazoo so I can drop her off at the hospital on Thursday, go teach my class, then come back to the hospital to be there when she comes out of surgery so I can take her home and stay over on Thursday too. So it will be a busy week but I'm looking forward to getting her surgery over with and getting the semester underway.

I have a few other irons in the fire but I don't feel like enumerating right now. I'll save that for later.

Have a good semester, everyone!