It's summer, which mean there are so many projects to get to, not the least of which is I'M GOING TO KOREA IN A MONTH. I've decided for the time being to go for the "low hanging fruit."
1. Novel - The publisher is going to publish it. All I have to do is write it. And I am. Every day a couple more scenes.
2. Screenplay - My "paranormal rom-com" is in progress. I have a new writing group (we'll see how this one goes) and I'm hoping to get some solid potato salad critique from those homies.
3. My film - the doco on life as an expat EFL teacher in Korea is coming with me to Korea and I will be finishing it (editing) with the help of Chang, my production/doco colleague who is full of Awesomesauce.
So there you have it and there it is: Summer 2010.
In between all that is planning my curriculum for Korea, "reducing" as my Filipino mother-in-law would say (that means exercising and getting fit, losing some inches along the way), and working the penalty box for derby games.
Speaking of "reducing," can I just say that my knee really needs to just get its act together so I can do martial arts and roller skate again. I'm tired of babying it. I want to join Planet Fitness so I can get on that machine that pumps your quads. Since I'm sorta on a budget for the summer, I'll just do T'ai Chi in the park and bear all the Chinese people in my apartment complex laughing at me. WHAT?
Time to hit my day. PMP is in town for a visit, I'm getting my car back at some point, and I have to do some hauswerk. And of course, spend the morning writing.
Showing posts with label PMP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PMP. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Foot Fetish Fetish (warning: graphic material)
Okay, this is a weird one, folks, so get ready.
I'm reading this book I grabbed off one of the spinny-shelves at the library where I work, because I needed something to read on my lunch (and had left my short story book at home like a bonehead). Anyway, it's called Peony In Love, and it's about a teenage Chinese girl at the change of the Ming to Qing dynasties. She's betrothed to be married (one of those arranged marriages, you know), but she meets a romantic poet and falls in desperate love with him (as much as one can at the age of 15), and pines away, obsessed with the tragic romance opera Peony Pavilion and her lovesickness at marrying a total stranger. I won't give away the rest of the story, but I will just say it's not at all what I expected. There is a lot going on in this story with regard to feminism, cultural morality, etc.
Now, to my point. A great deal of attention in the novel is spent on the practice and procedures of "foot binding," which resulted in the sought-after tiny "Lily feet." I've become somewhat obsessed with this, because in general, I am a person who has problems with her feet, ankles, and knees, and this act of purposefully hobbling women is both horrifying and fascinating to me.
First of all, let's talk about the "foot binding" procedure. The appellation "bound foot" isn't even close to representing what was actually the aim of this practice. The smaller the foot, the better. The goal was a 3 to 3.5 inch foot.
Let that sink in a moment. Your foot. 3.5 inches long.
If you think about this for more than a few seconds, you start to realize that this can only be achieved by breaking the bones of the foot and reforming it (deforming it) into a nub. I am not going to put any graphic images up here, but if you really want to see what it looked like, just Google "foot binding" and make sure you have a strong constitution. I do not, alas, and have spent much of the day nauseated after looking at a few images of bound feet both in and out of their wrappings. The x-ray image is the most disturbing of all.
Okay. So now I'd like to talk about high heel shoes for a sec. Let's go with this one. Four inch heels. Most women my age and younger would find this shoe attractive. Most would say "cute" "adorable," even "fun." I, myself, would admire this shoe, even though I know my weak ankles would never tolerate walking in them. But just let your eye travel from the sweet little buckle down to the area where a woman's toes would reside. Walking on the ball of the foot. Now, if I measure the length of my big toe bone, from the ball to the tip, how many inches do you suppose it works out to be? That would be 3.5, my friends.
I'm not saying that wearing a pair of heels is anything even remotely like having one's feet mangled and bound. (If you really want to know the procedure, go to Google. I don't have the stomach for typing it out here). However, there are some noticeable similarities:
Both hobble women so that they cannot run. Both require women to walk in ways which are not normal or natural to our bone and musculature. Both damage women's bone and musculature, albeit with a huge difference in severity. Both hurt like hell to walk in. Both are prized (or were, before foot binding was outlawed in the early 20th century) by men as a symbol of erotic sexualized femininity (Chinese men would jerk off on the tiny lily feet. No, I am not kidding.). Both are/were also embraced and celebrated by women as symbols of their womanhood, sexuality, beauty, fashion sense, and social standing. Both practices are/were handed down mother to daughter.
Now. Tell me. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?
I have had to stop wearing any heels over an inch after the last round of ankle-spraining in '08, which at first made me sad (mainly because of my open-toed work shoes that I wore for summer teaching). To be fair, I also had to stop wearing them because they had no back straps, and therefore made my ankles work way too hard (flip-flops are totally out for me). I started looking at comfortable foot wear, and found that it is rather difficult to find such a thing that doesn't make me look like 1. an old woman 2. a hippie. I do have a sense of fashion pride, though admittedly it is my own version of things, and often I look clunky compared to some of my friends who are willowy and fashionable. But most of the time, I'm pretty comfortable with my look. And I've embraced the very thing I spurned and reviled through my thirties: sneakers.
Fuckin' A. Sneakers rock. Sneakers with my orthotics make me feel like a million bucks. I am now focused on a search for trainers/sneaks that can suit almost any occasion. Oh, don't worry (PMP), I still have one pair of "good shoes" for the rare occasions that demand them. But dudes, I teach screenwriting and I'm a writing tutor. I'm on my feet a lot, and I wear sneakers. I embrace my long, strong, talented feet. I celebrate them! I love being barefoot and can't wait to see those bare feet on a surf board one day soon.
Where am I going with all this? Today I celebrated my feet. I thanked them for carrying me through my life for 40 years. I appreciate my feet, and so should you. I gave myself a home-pedicure this afternoon, and I again thought about how fortunate I am to have been born when and where and to whom I was. "Auspicious birth" the Tibetans called it. E ma ho!
Now, go take your shoes and socks off (especially you women), and tell your feet, toes, heels, and ankles how much you love them. Cherish your feet, don't abuse them. If your shoes hurt, don't wear them! Find something that is comfortable and can still display your own sense of style. Don't wear heels because you think you have to, or you never really thought about it before and it's the default setting for work or going out attire. Think about it! There's no reason for walking around in four inch heels that hurt, squeeze your toes, give you bunions & heel spurs, screw up your arches, and generally cause you misery. Be kind to your feet! You have the freedom to wear whatever you want; take advantage of that freedom. You are not constricted by horrid social mores or strict gender and sexual roles.
And now, with my long, strong, talented feet, I am stepping off my soap box.
Read all about it:
Research paper on foot binding and high heels.
Research paper on the origins of foot binding.
An essay on Chinese foot binding (graphic photos included).
I'm reading this book I grabbed off one of the spinny-shelves at the library where I work, because I needed something to read on my lunch (and had left my short story book at home like a bonehead). Anyway, it's called Peony In Love, and it's about a teenage Chinese girl at the change of the Ming to Qing dynasties. She's betrothed to be married (one of those arranged marriages, you know), but she meets a romantic poet and falls in desperate love with him (as much as one can at the age of 15), and pines away, obsessed with the tragic romance opera Peony Pavilion and her lovesickness at marrying a total stranger. I won't give away the rest of the story, but I will just say it's not at all what I expected. There is a lot going on in this story with regard to feminism, cultural morality, etc.
Now, to my point. A great deal of attention in the novel is spent on the practice and procedures of "foot binding," which resulted in the sought-after tiny "Lily feet." I've become somewhat obsessed with this, because in general, I am a person who has problems with her feet, ankles, and knees, and this act of purposefully hobbling women is both horrifying and fascinating to me.
First of all, let's talk about the "foot binding" procedure. The appellation "bound foot" isn't even close to representing what was actually the aim of this practice. The smaller the foot, the better. The goal was a 3 to 3.5 inch foot.
Let that sink in a moment. Your foot. 3.5 inches long.
If you think about this for more than a few seconds, you start to realize that this can only be achieved by breaking the bones of the foot and reforming it (deforming it) into a nub. I am not going to put any graphic images up here, but if you really want to see what it looked like, just Google "foot binding" and make sure you have a strong constitution. I do not, alas, and have spent much of the day nauseated after looking at a few images of bound feet both in and out of their wrappings. The x-ray image is the most disturbing of all.
Okay. So now I'd like to talk about high heel shoes for a sec. Let's go with this one. Four inch heels. Most women my age and younger would find this shoe attractive. Most would say "cute" "adorable," even "fun." I, myself, would admire this shoe, even though I know my weak ankles would never tolerate walking in them. But just let your eye travel from the sweet little buckle down to the area where a woman's toes would reside. Walking on the ball of the foot. Now, if I measure the length of my big toe bone, from the ball to the tip, how many inches do you suppose it works out to be? That would be 3.5, my friends.
I'm not saying that wearing a pair of heels is anything even remotely like having one's feet mangled and bound. (If you really want to know the procedure, go to Google. I don't have the stomach for typing it out here). However, there are some noticeable similarities:
Both hobble women so that they cannot run. Both require women to walk in ways which are not normal or natural to our bone and musculature. Both damage women's bone and musculature, albeit with a huge difference in severity. Both hurt like hell to walk in. Both are prized (or were, before foot binding was outlawed in the early 20th century) by men as a symbol of erotic sexualized femininity (Chinese men would jerk off on the tiny lily feet. No, I am not kidding.). Both are/were also embraced and celebrated by women as symbols of their womanhood, sexuality, beauty, fashion sense, and social standing. Both practices are/were handed down mother to daughter.
Now. Tell me. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?
I have had to stop wearing any heels over an inch after the last round of ankle-spraining in '08, which at first made me sad (mainly because of my open-toed work shoes that I wore for summer teaching). To be fair, I also had to stop wearing them because they had no back straps, and therefore made my ankles work way too hard (flip-flops are totally out for me). I started looking at comfortable foot wear, and found that it is rather difficult to find such a thing that doesn't make me look like 1. an old woman 2. a hippie. I do have a sense of fashion pride, though admittedly it is my own version of things, and often I look clunky compared to some of my friends who are willowy and fashionable. But most of the time, I'm pretty comfortable with my look. And I've embraced the very thing I spurned and reviled through my thirties: sneakers.
Fuckin' A. Sneakers rock. Sneakers with my orthotics make me feel like a million bucks. I am now focused on a search for trainers/sneaks that can suit almost any occasion. Oh, don't worry (PMP), I still have one pair of "good shoes" for the rare occasions that demand them. But dudes, I teach screenwriting and I'm a writing tutor. I'm on my feet a lot, and I wear sneakers. I embrace my long, strong, talented feet. I celebrate them! I love being barefoot and can't wait to see those bare feet on a surf board one day soon.
Where am I going with all this? Today I celebrated my feet. I thanked them for carrying me through my life for 40 years. I appreciate my feet, and so should you. I gave myself a home-pedicure this afternoon, and I again thought about how fortunate I am to have been born when and where and to whom I was. "Auspicious birth" the Tibetans called it. E ma ho!
Now, go take your shoes and socks off (especially you women), and tell your feet, toes, heels, and ankles how much you love them. Cherish your feet, don't abuse them. If your shoes hurt, don't wear them! Find something that is comfortable and can still display your own sense of style. Don't wear heels because you think you have to, or you never really thought about it before and it's the default setting for work or going out attire. Think about it! There's no reason for walking around in four inch heels that hurt, squeeze your toes, give you bunions & heel spurs, screw up your arches, and generally cause you misery. Be kind to your feet! You have the freedom to wear whatever you want; take advantage of that freedom. You are not constricted by horrid social mores or strict gender and sexual roles.
And now, with my long, strong, talented feet, I am stepping off my soap box.
Read all about it:
Research paper on foot binding and high heels.
Research paper on the origins of foot binding.
An essay on Chinese foot binding (graphic photos included).
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day ?
I've lost count. I think this is Day 8. Anyway, finished Arapata'an, the sci fi saga that's been a part of my life for way too long. Sent it off to my manager and took a deep breath.
I have 5.5 days left of the retreat, so I'm allowing myself only a short break before I dive into the next project, which is my TV pilot. I'd already written quite a bit for it, but I've decided to change the main character completely, so it's going to be a whole new thang. Looking forward to that process now.
PMP and TMH are back from their honeymoon in Costa Rica, and real life has reasserted itself for her. PMP's blog tells a tale I am all to familiar with - dealing with her aging Mom. As I read her blog post "Cracked," I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Everything I went through in '08 leading into January of '09 was right there - only now in perspective. Not raw. Not anymore. Still very emotional, of course, but not so raw. Mostly, I felt a pang of sadness for PMP, because I know how it is to be the only daughter of an aging mother. I know the pressures, the heartbreak, the stress, and the unrelenting reminder of my own mortality. I know the road PMP has just taken her first few steps on, and I know it can feel like a lonely road at times. But I also know that if we walk the road with love and compassion, it will ultimately lead to a place in life that is beyond our imagining. My thoughts are with PMP and her Mom.
I have 5.5 days left of the retreat, so I'm allowing myself only a short break before I dive into the next project, which is my TV pilot. I'd already written quite a bit for it, but I've decided to change the main character completely, so it's going to be a whole new thang. Looking forward to that process now.
PMP and TMH are back from their honeymoon in Costa Rica, and real life has reasserted itself for her. PMP's blog tells a tale I am all to familiar with - dealing with her aging Mom. As I read her blog post "Cracked," I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Everything I went through in '08 leading into January of '09 was right there - only now in perspective. Not raw. Not anymore. Still very emotional, of course, but not so raw. Mostly, I felt a pang of sadness for PMP, because I know how it is to be the only daughter of an aging mother. I know the pressures, the heartbreak, the stress, and the unrelenting reminder of my own mortality. I know the road PMP has just taken her first few steps on, and I know it can feel like a lonely road at times. But I also know that if we walk the road with love and compassion, it will ultimately lead to a place in life that is beyond our imagining. My thoughts are with PMP and her Mom.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
I know you
Where have the days gone? Busy busy makin' wax over here.
This past weekend went to Astronomicon 11 Sci Fi Convention in Rochacha, where I hobnobbed with awesome writers and intelligent, sensitive human beings (at least, I think they were human). Some names of note: Daniel A. Rabuzzi, Robert J. Sawyer (of FlashForward fame), David DeGraff, and Nancy Kress. Bizarro also made some good connections. We were both incredibly pleased with ourselves, the panels, and the weekend in general. It was up in the 60s (because you know how important it is to me not to freeze my knees), and we enjoyed staying with friends Tim & Leigh, going to eat at Arigato Japanese Steakhouse, subs at DiBella's for lunch today, and of course, Abbot's Frozen Custard.
Damn good thing I went back to my work-out regime last week. I'll need to keep on that after the custard. Bizarro has joined my Yoga class on Monday nights, which is great because we can mutually bolster our drive to get to class even on a night of inclement weather or just plain laziness. Water aerobics was delightful last week, too. Man I could feel it in my hips, though. We did "water ballet," as in, barre work in the water, not THIS:
I'm feeling great about the week to come. Really motivated after this con (and after the Serling Conference, which is still providing me with a boatload of inspiration). I have a phone meeting with a manager on Wednesday, so I'm going to spend some time getting ready for that over the next couple days. This means putting off grading until later in the week. They'll just have to wait.
Oh - and to close out the story of the Plagiarizing Student, he just trailed off somewhere and never came back to confront me, other than a one-(grammatically incorrect) sentence email. I am enjoying the remaining 14 students I have in that class, after the attrition of 5 non-hackers. Now that the tension has been broken with Mr. Plagiarism Is My Middle Name, my students and I can focus. Still, I am really looking forward to my new position as Adjunct Writing Tutor come January.
I am also very pleased to report that I've made it a point to cultivate other friendships here in the City on the Edge of Forever. I was feeling a bit bereft of nearby friendly faces there for awhile, but I am always on the mend. I miss PMP like crazy, but I know that when I'm out in Boston, we'll be able to catch up and do our usual things. The other two folks who pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth are doing other things, and I wish them both well, but I'm done feeling bad for anything.
Rock on with my highly caffeinated self! I suppose I need to wind down for the evening, watch MadMen's season finale, and go to sleep.
P.S. This week's Vladurday wasn't very funny, so I'm skipping it in favor of other amusements.
This past weekend went to Astronomicon 11 Sci Fi Convention in Rochacha, where I hobnobbed with awesome writers and intelligent, sensitive human beings (at least, I think they were human). Some names of note: Daniel A. Rabuzzi, Robert J. Sawyer (of FlashForward fame), David DeGraff, and Nancy Kress. Bizarro also made some good connections. We were both incredibly pleased with ourselves, the panels, and the weekend in general. It was up in the 60s (because you know how important it is to me not to freeze my knees), and we enjoyed staying with friends Tim & Leigh, going to eat at Arigato Japanese Steakhouse, subs at DiBella's for lunch today, and of course, Abbot's Frozen Custard.
Damn good thing I went back to my work-out regime last week. I'll need to keep on that after the custard. Bizarro has joined my Yoga class on Monday nights, which is great because we can mutually bolster our drive to get to class even on a night of inclement weather or just plain laziness. Water aerobics was delightful last week, too. Man I could feel it in my hips, though. We did "water ballet," as in, barre work in the water, not THIS:
I'm feeling great about the week to come. Really motivated after this con (and after the Serling Conference, which is still providing me with a boatload of inspiration). I have a phone meeting with a manager on Wednesday, so I'm going to spend some time getting ready for that over the next couple days. This means putting off grading until later in the week. They'll just have to wait.
Oh - and to close out the story of the Plagiarizing Student, he just trailed off somewhere and never came back to confront me, other than a one-(grammatically incorrect) sentence email. I am enjoying the remaining 14 students I have in that class, after the attrition of 5 non-hackers. Now that the tension has been broken with Mr. Plagiarism Is My Middle Name, my students and I can focus. Still, I am really looking forward to my new position as Adjunct Writing Tutor come January.
I am also very pleased to report that I've made it a point to cultivate other friendships here in the City on the Edge of Forever. I was feeling a bit bereft of nearby friendly faces there for awhile, but I am always on the mend. I miss PMP like crazy, but I know that when I'm out in Boston, we'll be able to catch up and do our usual things. The other two folks who pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth are doing other things, and I wish them both well, but I'm done feeling bad for anything.
Rock on with my highly caffeinated self! I suppose I need to wind down for the evening, watch MadMen's season finale, and go to sleep.
P.S. This week's Vladurday wasn't very funny, so I'm skipping it in favor of other amusements.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
A very important day
Today is the day that PMP marries the love of her life, TMH. Bizarro and I are prepared to get all spiffed up for the big event, and party the night away with the newlyweds and their family and friends.
Unfortunately, I've managed to contract yet another head cold from sickly students who insist on coming to class with drippy noses. We didn't attend the cocktail welcome last night, which was a rotten shame, but I figured it was better to stay in for the night and try to feel better for the actual blessed event.
But all that is unimportant in the face of the momentous occasion that today brings. PMP has been in Boston since the end of May, living with TMH, but now starts the chapter of being in society as husband and wife, and all the wonderful, unexpected, joyous, complicated things that entails (hey, I'm a realist!). It also begins the state of creating what marriage means to THEM, as opposed to their families, friends, or the constructs of society. I am so pleased that we can celebrate their union with them today, and I wish them both the best in their new life together.
Unfortunately, I've managed to contract yet another head cold from sickly students who insist on coming to class with drippy noses. We didn't attend the cocktail welcome last night, which was a rotten shame, but I figured it was better to stay in for the night and try to feel better for the actual blessed event.
But all that is unimportant in the face of the momentous occasion that today brings. PMP has been in Boston since the end of May, living with TMH, but now starts the chapter of being in society as husband and wife, and all the wonderful, unexpected, joyous, complicated things that entails (hey, I'm a realist!). It also begins the state of creating what marriage means to THEM, as opposed to their families, friends, or the constructs of society. I am so pleased that we can celebrate their union with them today, and I wish them both the best in their new life together.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Summer of 2009
Well ladies and germs, the summer is rapidly closing. Another week and 2 days and it's back in the classroom. I have a full teaching load this semester: 2 sections of intro to screenwriting at the Other School On the Hill, and one section of English 99 (developmental writing at the paragraph level) at the community college. For these gigs I am grateful. Now I'm trying to cram as much summer into the coming week and 2 days as possible. Summer weather is finally here, so swimming and patio grilling are required activities (though there are t'storms coming but whatever, as long as it's hot).
As you know, this was not the summer I'd planned. I ended up not teaching at all, and instead worked as a transcriptionist, tutor, and house keeper for the Catlic' Chorch, scrubbing the priests' terlets and washing their undies. (My sister-in-law asked whether the skid marks in a priest's undies are in the form of a crucifix. This is why I love my sister-in-law.)
So, no, not what I'd expected but the truth is that in true form, the Universe provided just what I needed. In fact our money was very tight this summer, but it forced us to be more mindful of our spending, and helped us to come together for the betterment of our household. Tracking expenses and keeping more in tune with our financial situation has been good for us both, and for our marriage.
The work I did at the rectory was actually quite easy, and since I was alone and autonomous, I had plenty of opportunity to manage my time as I saw fit, and I believe that the physical nature of the work was good for me. I tend to get stuck up here (points to head) and that's not always a good thing.
The transcription work was just fine, and it might even be useful in the future to say that I am familiar with chemical notations (who knows what kind of technical writing I might fall into at some point).
The tutoring is always fun and keeps me on the ESL map for my C.V.
Aside from my work, I had plenty of time for writing, and I was, I must say, rather prolific. I am just about finished with Sentinel, have started a new project, and most thrilling of all, I met a producer/filmmaker from L.A. who is producing a short script of mine, and who has connections that could really help me out.
I didn't get to go windsurfing, but I did spend a day at the Nor'easter Surf Shop in Scituate, Mass. and took excellent notes for my surf-related T.V. pilot. I also made a great connection for surfing lessons when I am able to give that a whirl. And the surfing season isn't over in September, so there's still a chance I could get a long weekend in and get a surfing lesson! (I'm talking surfing, not windsurfing, to be clear on that.)
Despite our financial hardship, I found a way with the help of friends to attend the Live Adventure this year (the annual live action role playing weekend I've been part of since 1991). That was a magical, wonderful, fun (if hotter than hell) weekend of beloved friends, creative imagination, camping, and music. I am so grateful!
This summer gave me ample time and opportunity to work through my grief, and I managed two trips to Massachusetts, one with Bizarro in tow, which has been extremely beneficial in my healing process. I was able to spend some QT with my beloved nephew and his family, my Big Bro, PMP, JET, Rachee and a couple other people I've known and loved for years. This recent trip was exceptionally fun with Bizarro - our day in Boston was delightful, especially hanging out with PMP who took us for fabulous cannoli in the North End. I also got to play in the waves at Nantasket, despite the drizzle. Oh how I miss the ocean!
I feel like I'm starting to finally come out of the darkness that was last winter, just before, during and after Mom's death. I am feeling more alive than ever; I can feel the possibilities of life, the energy of creation, and the wealth that is mine in so many ways. In the parlance of Live Adventure folk: Game on!
As you know, this was not the summer I'd planned. I ended up not teaching at all, and instead worked as a transcriptionist, tutor, and house keeper for the Catlic' Chorch, scrubbing the priests' terlets and washing their undies. (My sister-in-law asked whether the skid marks in a priest's undies are in the form of a crucifix. This is why I love my sister-in-law.)
So, no, not what I'd expected but the truth is that in true form, the Universe provided just what I needed. In fact our money was very tight this summer, but it forced us to be more mindful of our spending, and helped us to come together for the betterment of our household. Tracking expenses and keeping more in tune with our financial situation has been good for us both, and for our marriage.
The work I did at the rectory was actually quite easy, and since I was alone and autonomous, I had plenty of opportunity to manage my time as I saw fit, and I believe that the physical nature of the work was good for me. I tend to get stuck up here (points to head) and that's not always a good thing.
The transcription work was just fine, and it might even be useful in the future to say that I am familiar with chemical notations (who knows what kind of technical writing I might fall into at some point).
The tutoring is always fun and keeps me on the ESL map for my C.V.
Aside from my work, I had plenty of time for writing, and I was, I must say, rather prolific. I am just about finished with Sentinel, have started a new project, and most thrilling of all, I met a producer/filmmaker from L.A. who is producing a short script of mine, and who has connections that could really help me out.
I didn't get to go windsurfing, but I did spend a day at the Nor'easter Surf Shop in Scituate, Mass. and took excellent notes for my surf-related T.V. pilot. I also made a great connection for surfing lessons when I am able to give that a whirl. And the surfing season isn't over in September, so there's still a chance I could get a long weekend in and get a surfing lesson! (I'm talking surfing, not windsurfing, to be clear on that.)
Despite our financial hardship, I found a way with the help of friends to attend the Live Adventure this year (the annual live action role playing weekend I've been part of since 1991). That was a magical, wonderful, fun (if hotter than hell) weekend of beloved friends, creative imagination, camping, and music. I am so grateful!
This summer gave me ample time and opportunity to work through my grief, and I managed two trips to Massachusetts, one with Bizarro in tow, which has been extremely beneficial in my healing process. I was able to spend some QT with my beloved nephew and his family, my Big Bro, PMP, JET, Rachee and a couple other people I've known and loved for years. This recent trip was exceptionally fun with Bizarro - our day in Boston was delightful, especially hanging out with PMP who took us for fabulous cannoli in the North End. I also got to play in the waves at Nantasket, despite the drizzle. Oh how I miss the ocean!
I feel like I'm starting to finally come out of the darkness that was last winter, just before, during and after Mom's death. I am feeling more alive than ever; I can feel the possibilities of life, the energy of creation, and the wealth that is mine in so many ways. In the parlance of Live Adventure folk: Game on!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Ice cream and memories...
Invited PMP for a spontaneous trip to Friendly's, which was then followed by a spontaneous trip to TJ Maxx. I can't believe my first friend in the City on the Edge of Forever is moving away in a few short days! Life will not be the same without her.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Writing Retreat - Day 6 and Epilogue
Yesterday was a fine day at the retreat colony. I did more reading than writing, which was perfect because I had set up a reading nook my first day but hadn't used it all week. I did some revisions on the sci fi; got about about a third of the way through that and want to finish by end of this week. I took my time cleaning up and packing. When Bizarro arrived around 7 to pick me up I'd seen the deer on their evening munchies and was ready to go home.
Today I eased back to life as a teacher and spent 5 hours in my office at school with my students' mid-term portfolios. I'm kinda pissed at a few of them for being such slackers. I'm going to have to go off like an atom bomb in Tuesday's classes. The Irish-Italian Banshee teacher will make an appearance.
Over all feeling pretty upbeat about stuff, despite all the potentially-scary limbo of my career. Maybe I'm getting used to it, or maybe there's something afoot for me and I know better than to freak out.
Congrats to B. for getting a job so soon after the other one tanked. I hope it goes well for you!
Special thanks to SMJ for reading my screenplay today (at work) and "getting it." It's always nice to know that what's in my head can work on the page!
PMP - we have some serious PMP-E time to catch up on when you return from HAH-VID.
Today I eased back to life as a teacher and spent 5 hours in my office at school with my students' mid-term portfolios. I'm kinda pissed at a few of them for being such slackers. I'm going to have to go off like an atom bomb in Tuesday's classes. The Irish-Italian Banshee teacher will make an appearance.
Over all feeling pretty upbeat about stuff, despite all the potentially-scary limbo of my career. Maybe I'm getting used to it, or maybe there's something afoot for me and I know better than to freak out.
Congrats to B. for getting a job so soon after the other one tanked. I hope it goes well for you!
Special thanks to SMJ for reading my screenplay today (at work) and "getting it." It's always nice to know that what's in my head can work on the page!
PMP - we have some serious PMP-E time to catch up on when you return from HAH-VID.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Birthday Thoughts
So I turned 41 yesterday. How does it feel? Like I need to get the rest of my life lined up in my sights. The weekend with Rrrache was excellente ~ except for the Nor'easter that cancelled my morning flight and got me home very late in the day. Spending time with someone who knew me at the beginnings of my fledgling film "career" and who shares a vision and artistic voice was important.
I went out for drinks with PMP after work yesterday for my birthday, and that was nice. There was a live Irish band there (just a session) and I found out they're there every Tuesday night. I have me a new hang out for Tuesday nights.
Tomorrow night I am headed to a midnight screening of "Watchmen" with some of my crazy students. Then Friday I am driving to Splash Lagoon with Bizarro for a weekend of warm water, Margueritas and laziness. Excitamente!
Next week: another writing retreat! Huppah!
I went out for drinks with PMP after work yesterday for my birthday, and that was nice. There was a live Irish band there (just a session) and I found out they're there every Tuesday night. I have me a new hang out for Tuesday nights.
Tomorrow night I am headed to a midnight screening of "Watchmen" with some of my crazy students. Then Friday I am driving to Splash Lagoon with Bizarro for a weekend of warm water, Margueritas and laziness. Excitamente!
Next week: another writing retreat! Huppah!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Iz haz a kold
It occurs to me after snuffling and blowing my nose for the umteenth time this morning that my congestion and the overall fatigue I've felt for a couple days might not be a coincidence. I might just have a cold. Gawd knows everyone else around town has one, or is just getting over one, or is just getting one. I pray that I don't end up with the stomach bug that I've heard tales of. Ew. Anything but the stomach. A runny nose I can handle. Other things... not so much.
I have work to do today which I don't feel like doing. And PMP has her public presentation this afternoon, which I am hoping to make if this kold doesn't increase in snot buckets or sleeping mode. I have to take the bus because there's no place to park on campus without a special pass, which of course I do not have.
It is Friday. I have a runny nose.
I have work to do today which I don't feel like doing. And PMP has her public presentation this afternoon, which I am hoping to make if this kold doesn't increase in snot buckets or sleeping mode. I have to take the bus because there's no place to park on campus without a special pass, which of course I do not have.
It is Friday. I have a runny nose.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Dusk to Dawn
Right now I feel as if the dawn is only a couple hours away. Soon it will be a new day stretching out ahead.
Yesterday Sue and I spent 9 hours working in Mom's apartment, packing and throwing out and organizing. It was a mammoth chore and I would NOT have been able to make it through without her amazing, tender, spirited, positive help. Even though she's not online to read this, I want to shout a loving thank you to the Universe for Sue H!
Next weekend is the move! I think the hard part is over, to be honest. Loading a truck and getting things to their new homes will be a cinch compared to yesterday.
Of course, we still need to rearrange OUR apartment to accommodate the influx of new furniture and belongings that are pouring in. This will be a challenge, to be sure, but I still think yesterday was the worst of the entire process, as far as the move itself goes.
Mom's spirits are up, and I was very proud of her yesterday, getting through a difficult day of deciding things to keep and things to toss. I know it was emotional for her, but she held up like a trooper, and I made sure to tell her numerous times what a great job she was doing, as did Sue.
Friday I discovered a wonderful new favorite spot, which I returned to today with friends Tim and Leigh from out of town. The sun is out, the temps are balmy (for late October) and the kite surfers were out there! I finally met in person one of the surfers I've been emailing with. I am now fully committed to getting ready for windsurfing in the spring - they have a face to the name and that means I can't chicken out!
The rest of today I am organizing myself for the week and will do some writing. Mood: optimistic but a bit tired.
Last but not least: lots of positive can-do-it energy to PMP who is doing her A-exam tomorrow. I know she will sail through, answer the hard questions, and impress them with her knowledge base and her dedication to the research. GO, PMP!
Yesterday Sue and I spent 9 hours working in Mom's apartment, packing and throwing out and organizing. It was a mammoth chore and I would NOT have been able to make it through without her amazing, tender, spirited, positive help. Even though she's not online to read this, I want to shout a loving thank you to the Universe for Sue H!
Next weekend is the move! I think the hard part is over, to be honest. Loading a truck and getting things to their new homes will be a cinch compared to yesterday.
Of course, we still need to rearrange OUR apartment to accommodate the influx of new furniture and belongings that are pouring in. This will be a challenge, to be sure, but I still think yesterday was the worst of the entire process, as far as the move itself goes.
Mom's spirits are up, and I was very proud of her yesterday, getting through a difficult day of deciding things to keep and things to toss. I know it was emotional for her, but she held up like a trooper, and I made sure to tell her numerous times what a great job she was doing, as did Sue.
Friday I discovered a wonderful new favorite spot, which I returned to today with friends Tim and Leigh from out of town. The sun is out, the temps are balmy (for late October) and the kite surfers were out there! I finally met in person one of the surfers I've been emailing with. I am now fully committed to getting ready for windsurfing in the spring - they have a face to the name and that means I can't chicken out!
The rest of today I am organizing myself for the week and will do some writing. Mood: optimistic but a bit tired.
Last but not least: lots of positive can-do-it energy to PMP who is doing her A-exam tomorrow. I know she will sail through, answer the hard questions, and impress them with her knowledge base and her dedication to the research. GO, PMP!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Departures & Arrivals
I am pleased to see this past week departing into the mists of the Past. It was not, by any measure, a particularly good week. But I'm not complaining, and I'll tell you why later.
It was a short week, last Monday being Labor Day, but that only added to the stress of going back to the chorch job on Tuesday with a day less in which to do all my work (mind you, the boss is still on vacation, so I'm still doing all the extra crap for her), plus the fact that the semester has begun so I am gone Wed. and Fri. afternoons.
Then on Thursday I called Mom in the morning and she was on her way out to the E.R. because she'd fallen again (4th time this year). Nothing broken this time - just an ugly gash in her upper arm that had to get stitched. I brought her her home after the 3 hour hurry-up-and-wait E.R. discharged her, and then spent the rest of the day doing housework and laundry and cooking for her (normally her Home Health Aide does that work but the woman had taken Mom to the E.R. and waited with her until I arrived). I drove home around 8:00 p.m. exhausted. Mom is doing just fine now, and we are both really looking forward to her move to assisted living next month (which is moving forward nicely).
But Friday was actually a decent day - a good day, in fact - and this is why I'm not complaining. I was able to finish out a stresful week on a good note and not let the whole thing get my pants in a twist. I am grateful that I finish my weeks teaching - I have a good class and I enjoy it SO much. I then have quiet time in my office at the end of day on Friday to get caught up on stuff for school and just sort of wind down the day's activity. I went home and found the pool was still open, so I spent about an hour there, swimming and lounging and reading, enjoying the late-summer vibes. As I sat in the whirlpool jets on the shallow end, I admitted that I was ready to accept the end of summer and welcomed late summer to my personal world. I decided last year and I confirm that decision that late summer is my favorite time of year.
Later Friday night PMP called me back from earlier in the day and we had dinner at our favorite Korean restaurant in town and had a lovely walk in the warm evening air. It was nice to catch up and have some time downtown.
I am looking forward to seeing how things shape up for the chorch job - this first month, I have to admit, was probably atypical. The first 2 weeks had the learning curve of the full-time hours and the other parts of the job I hadn't been doing before, then my boss was out for 2 weeks (with me still shaky on a few things) such that I had extra work. Now I've been doing it for a month and she comes back tomorrow, so perhaps things won't seem so freaking annoying as I get into a routine.
That doesn't change the fact that I am hoping to depart that job if my community college teaching opportunities arrive as I have been told they will.
So all in all - I am in a good place and feeling just about ready to take on the new week arriving shortly. Today I have some nesting to do, and some writing, and I intend to make the most of it.
It was a short week, last Monday being Labor Day, but that only added to the stress of going back to the chorch job on Tuesday with a day less in which to do all my work (mind you, the boss is still on vacation, so I'm still doing all the extra crap for her), plus the fact that the semester has begun so I am gone Wed. and Fri. afternoons.
Then on Thursday I called Mom in the morning and she was on her way out to the E.R. because she'd fallen again (4th time this year). Nothing broken this time - just an ugly gash in her upper arm that had to get stitched. I brought her her home after the 3 hour hurry-up-and-wait E.R. discharged her, and then spent the rest of the day doing housework and laundry and cooking for her (normally her Home Health Aide does that work but the woman had taken Mom to the E.R. and waited with her until I arrived). I drove home around 8:00 p.m. exhausted. Mom is doing just fine now, and we are both really looking forward to her move to assisted living next month (which is moving forward nicely).
But Friday was actually a decent day - a good day, in fact - and this is why I'm not complaining. I was able to finish out a stresful week on a good note and not let the whole thing get my pants in a twist. I am grateful that I finish my weeks teaching - I have a good class and I enjoy it SO much. I then have quiet time in my office at the end of day on Friday to get caught up on stuff for school and just sort of wind down the day's activity. I went home and found the pool was still open, so I spent about an hour there, swimming and lounging and reading, enjoying the late-summer vibes. As I sat in the whirlpool jets on the shallow end, I admitted that I was ready to accept the end of summer and welcomed late summer to my personal world. I decided last year and I confirm that decision that late summer is my favorite time of year.
Later Friday night PMP called me back from earlier in the day and we had dinner at our favorite Korean restaurant in town and had a lovely walk in the warm evening air. It was nice to catch up and have some time downtown.
I am looking forward to seeing how things shape up for the chorch job - this first month, I have to admit, was probably atypical. The first 2 weeks had the learning curve of the full-time hours and the other parts of the job I hadn't been doing before, then my boss was out for 2 weeks (with me still shaky on a few things) such that I had extra work. Now I've been doing it for a month and she comes back tomorrow, so perhaps things won't seem so freaking annoying as I get into a routine.
That doesn't change the fact that I am hoping to depart that job if my community college teaching opportunities arrive as I have been told they will.
So all in all - I am in a good place and feeling just about ready to take on the new week arriving shortly. Today I have some nesting to do, and some writing, and I intend to make the most of it.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Observations
1. Where is all the frakking cinnamon gum? I have been searching everywhere - gas stations, Target, convenience stores, grocery stores. Nothing but ridiculous "sangria explosion" and "ice mint" flavors to be had. The only cinnamon gum I've found is called "Sweet cinnamon" and it tasted like shit. WHERE IS ALL THE HOT CINNAMON GUM? Years ago a friend of mine told me that cinnamon gum was the favored gum of Lesbians everywhere. So I have to wonder, what are all the Lesbians doing for gum these days?
2. Why are movies like "Tomorrow Never Dies" airing on American Movie Classics? WTF? Who does your programming? Twelve year olds? Bring on the classic James Bond - Dr. No, Never Say Never, Diamonds Are Forever. As a reaction to this abomination, Bizarro and I have decided to hold a 007 movie marathon weekend. We've each chosen 3 Bond films. Two of mine (You Only Live Twice and Live and Let Die) are my faves, and the other (Casino Royale, the recent one) I haven't seen yet but would like to. Bizarro of COURSE decided on the 3 WORST Bond films/themes of all time: Living Daylights, A View to A Kill, License to Kill. At least I talked him out of Octopussy, which I cannot abide, though I thought Moonraker should have made the Worst list.
3. People are stupid. Because gas prices have come down a few cents, economy car sales are dropping, and SUV sales (including hybrids, mind you) are climbing again. ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID? Yes.
Despite all the negativity contained herein, I am doing quite well in general, and feel relatively at peace for the moment. The unbelievable Summer of Stress has wound down. Late summer is upon us, with its sort of lazy drawl, before the mad rush of Fall (for those in academe).
PMP - I am glad that the summer is finishing so well for you. Can't wait to have you back!
SMJ - Very soon - drinks - my patio.
AnnieC - Welcome home!
Peege - Hang in there; what goes up must come down
Bizarro - I want a foot rub!
2. Why are movies like "Tomorrow Never Dies" airing on American Movie Classics? WTF? Who does your programming? Twelve year olds? Bring on the classic James Bond - Dr. No, Never Say Never, Diamonds Are Forever. As a reaction to this abomination, Bizarro and I have decided to hold a 007 movie marathon weekend. We've each chosen 3 Bond films. Two of mine (You Only Live Twice and Live and Let Die) are my faves, and the other (Casino Royale, the recent one) I haven't seen yet but would like to. Bizarro of COURSE decided on the 3 WORST Bond films/themes of all time: Living Daylights, A View to A Kill, License to Kill. At least I talked him out of Octopussy, which I cannot abide, though I thought Moonraker should have made the Worst list.
3. People are stupid. Because gas prices have come down a few cents, economy car sales are dropping, and SUV sales (including hybrids, mind you) are climbing again. ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID? Yes.
Despite all the negativity contained herein, I am doing quite well in general, and feel relatively at peace for the moment. The unbelievable Summer of Stress has wound down. Late summer is upon us, with its sort of lazy drawl, before the mad rush of Fall (for those in academe).
PMP - I am glad that the summer is finishing so well for you. Can't wait to have you back!
SMJ - Very soon - drinks - my patio.
AnnieC - Welcome home!
Peege - Hang in there; what goes up must come down
Bizarro - I want a foot rub!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Catching my breath
Mom was in the hospital for 11 days and was finally released on Thursday. We went to visit her today; she wasn't doing too well - her blood pressure was really low - but we got hold of a doctor on call and he said it was likely from the aggressive dialysis they did yesterday, and that they'd probably overdone it a bit. He said unless it goes below 80, it should correct itself, and she should tell the dialysis crew on Monday when she goes in again.
Worse than that, she'd reverted to her horrible eating habits after getting 3 squares a day in the hospital. By 2:30 this afternoon all she'd eaten was toast, juice and some coffee. I made her a roast beef sammich, heated up some carrots I'd cooked with a roast the other night, and gave her half a can of Boost with some milk, along with a stern talking to about the necessity of eating, even if she doesn't feel particularly hungry. And she wonders why her albumen levels have been consistently low for months! She's not eating protein at every meal. Breakfast for her is either toast (carbs) or cereal (carbs) and then she doesn't eat anything for hours. For lunch she's apt to have cottage cheese and some salad. By the time dinner comes she's ready for a full meal, but with that kind of diet, she's missed most of the day's requirements.
I had felt a spate of relief after she came home from the hospital, but after today, I felt my own anxiety levels shoot through the roof. I'm trying to keep up with everything and finding it rather trying because underneath all the work for the summer program, underneath my own concerns about my professional future, money, student loans, and Bizarro's academic and professional future, there lies a constant, thrumming anxiety about my mom. Is she okay, is she taking care of herself, is she getting what she needs, is she safe, etc. etc. etc.
Still trying to find a good option for assisted living, and I have narrowed it down to two places that are local and quasi-local, respectively. Still have shitloads of paper work to do for the VA so she gets veteran's widow benefits, but the good news is all we have to do for the power of attourney thing is get the form notarized. I already am the health proxy, so that's in place at least.
My Bro is taking care of another legal matter involving a piece of almost-worthless land that mom and dad held for decades, and which mom has signed over to my Bro to sell off to the highest bidder (one of the nearby commercial chains who will hopefully want it).
All I can say is if I don't have a kid of my own we are definitely adopting because I can't imagine being her age in her condition without a kid to help me out.
It's now Saturday night and I am winding down at my desk with some stuff I've been meaning to get to for myself (rather than work or mom stuff) and a glass of wine.
In two weeks is the live action role playing extravaganza that I am really looking forward to. It coincides with the end of the summer program, so it feels rather like a light at the end of the tunnel. I always enjoy prepping for these things (this is my 15th year in attendance). More on all that later.
PMP - I know you're going through a rough time too. We now have a patio table (courtesy of mom) and I look forward to sitting out there with you in late summer, lighting the red lamp, drinking our wine and figuring out our lives together.
SMJ - is in TURKEY right now, the lucky sunnovagun! I am really happy for her and her hubby. They've had a bit of a rough time here in Nowhere, Central NY but hubby finally got his tenure approved, so now they can start making plans. I am happy that they have this chance to spend time with his family in Turkey and get away from the doldrums here.
Worse than that, she'd reverted to her horrible eating habits after getting 3 squares a day in the hospital. By 2:30 this afternoon all she'd eaten was toast, juice and some coffee. I made her a roast beef sammich, heated up some carrots I'd cooked with a roast the other night, and gave her half a can of Boost with some milk, along with a stern talking to about the necessity of eating, even if she doesn't feel particularly hungry. And she wonders why her albumen levels have been consistently low for months! She's not eating protein at every meal. Breakfast for her is either toast (carbs) or cereal (carbs) and then she doesn't eat anything for hours. For lunch she's apt to have cottage cheese and some salad. By the time dinner comes she's ready for a full meal, but with that kind of diet, she's missed most of the day's requirements.
I had felt a spate of relief after she came home from the hospital, but after today, I felt my own anxiety levels shoot through the roof. I'm trying to keep up with everything and finding it rather trying because underneath all the work for the summer program, underneath my own concerns about my professional future, money, student loans, and Bizarro's academic and professional future, there lies a constant, thrumming anxiety about my mom. Is she okay, is she taking care of herself, is she getting what she needs, is she safe, etc. etc. etc.
Still trying to find a good option for assisted living, and I have narrowed it down to two places that are local and quasi-local, respectively. Still have shitloads of paper work to do for the VA so she gets veteran's widow benefits, but the good news is all we have to do for the power of attourney thing is get the form notarized. I already am the health proxy, so that's in place at least.
My Bro is taking care of another legal matter involving a piece of almost-worthless land that mom and dad held for decades, and which mom has signed over to my Bro to sell off to the highest bidder (one of the nearby commercial chains who will hopefully want it).
All I can say is if I don't have a kid of my own we are definitely adopting because I can't imagine being her age in her condition without a kid to help me out.
It's now Saturday night and I am winding down at my desk with some stuff I've been meaning to get to for myself (rather than work or mom stuff) and a glass of wine.
In two weeks is the live action role playing extravaganza that I am really looking forward to. It coincides with the end of the summer program, so it feels rather like a light at the end of the tunnel. I always enjoy prepping for these things (this is my 15th year in attendance). More on all that later.
PMP - I know you're going through a rough time too. We now have a patio table (courtesy of mom) and I look forward to sitting out there with you in late summer, lighting the red lamp, drinking our wine and figuring out our lives together.
SMJ - is in TURKEY right now, the lucky sunnovagun! I am really happy for her and her hubby. They've had a bit of a rough time here in Nowhere, Central NY but hubby finally got his tenure approved, so now they can start making plans. I am happy that they have this chance to spend time with his family in Turkey and get away from the doldrums here.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Mai Tai Photos
As promised!
Mai Tai by the fire...
Mai tai-worthy treats...
Now THAT'S a Mai Tai!
I know it was a couple weeks ago, but thanks again PMP and SMJ for making it a great night!
Mai Tai by the fire...
Mai tai-worthy treats...
Now THAT'S a Mai Tai!
I know it was a couple weeks ago, but thanks again PMP and SMJ for making it a great night!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Body Image
Today PMP and I did a Target run (our last until August! boo hoo! it's like going home from college for the summer and not seeing your friends for 3 months, except I'm staying and she's going... I will miss her sooo much...).
Anyway, we did a Target run and I tried on some fun T-shirts - I was excited to buy some fun summer colors - but lo and behold, the shirts were utterly too small for me. I was so disgusted with myself in the dressing room mirror. Can I just tell you? I don't mean to get too personal, but I have gained 8.5 lbs since February - despite all the belly dancing and walking. I know part of it is my diet (a BIG part of it) and the other part is the sort of half-assed way I approach fitness. So anyway, I nearly had a breakdown in Tar-zhay -- poor PMP! I totally rained on our parade, but then I pulled myself out of it and we enjoyed the rest of our evening and dinner together.
SO what is it with my weight? Why am I having such a hard time? I keep asking myself these questions, and while I admit that diet and exercise are the main problems, I also have to cut myself some slack and realize that I AM 40. Metabolism slows after 30 - I forget how much with each year. This just means I have to be smarter about my food and exercise. I am really REALLY motivated after my visit to the doctor's last week and this latest incident in the dressing room to get my act together.
Of course I had to go and fucking sprain my ankle (badly, as it turns out - it is still very bruised and tender, though I am walking more normally on it now). So with a sprained ankle I can't dance or go walking. But I am doing calisthenics - push ups, sit ups, using hand weights, and stretching. The basics. I figure by the time I return from Massachussetts, I will be able to rejoin my dance class and start up the Yoga class I've been eyeing for awhile (taught by my awesome chiropractor/massage therapist). Until then, I will continue with the basics and watch the snacking at night (that is my downfall, I have determined). Eventually it will be summer and I can go swimming in the pool as well, and I intend on getting a membership to the Y so that I can continue swimming and other exercise indoors when the shitty weather hits late Fall.
Don't worry, though, this will never happen:
P.S. And oh yeah, I'm off alcohol for awhile as I attempt to limit my intake of sugars, as well as hydrogenated oils and other bad stuff. No Mai Tais for awhile (well, I will have one at Tiki Port, but ONLY one).
Anyway, we did a Target run and I tried on some fun T-shirts - I was excited to buy some fun summer colors - but lo and behold, the shirts were utterly too small for me. I was so disgusted with myself in the dressing room mirror. Can I just tell you? I don't mean to get too personal, but I have gained 8.5 lbs since February - despite all the belly dancing and walking. I know part of it is my diet (a BIG part of it) and the other part is the sort of half-assed way I approach fitness. So anyway, I nearly had a breakdown in Tar-zhay -- poor PMP! I totally rained on our parade, but then I pulled myself out of it and we enjoyed the rest of our evening and dinner together.
SO what is it with my weight? Why am I having such a hard time? I keep asking myself these questions, and while I admit that diet and exercise are the main problems, I also have to cut myself some slack and realize that I AM 40. Metabolism slows after 30 - I forget how much with each year. This just means I have to be smarter about my food and exercise. I am really REALLY motivated after my visit to the doctor's last week and this latest incident in the dressing room to get my act together.
Of course I had to go and fucking sprain my ankle (badly, as it turns out - it is still very bruised and tender, though I am walking more normally on it now). So with a sprained ankle I can't dance or go walking. But I am doing calisthenics - push ups, sit ups, using hand weights, and stretching. The basics. I figure by the time I return from Massachussetts, I will be able to rejoin my dance class and start up the Yoga class I've been eyeing for awhile (taught by my awesome chiropractor/massage therapist). Until then, I will continue with the basics and watch the snacking at night (that is my downfall, I have determined). Eventually it will be summer and I can go swimming in the pool as well, and I intend on getting a membership to the Y so that I can continue swimming and other exercise indoors when the shitty weather hits late Fall.
Don't worry, though, this will never happen:
P.S. And oh yeah, I'm off alcohol for awhile as I attempt to limit my intake of sugars, as well as hydrogenated oils and other bad stuff. No Mai Tais for awhile (well, I will have one at Tiki Port, but ONLY one).
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Mai Tai Happens
Last night, PMP, SMJ and I had ourselves a grand Mai Tai party, although the chilly damp rainy weather kept us inside instead of out on the patio. Still, we had the string of festive lights up, and a fire in the fireplace. I had one too many, though, and have woken this morning with a banger of a hangover. I'd forgotten what rum can do to a person. The good news is that the Mai Tais were yummy and now that I know how to do it (watching SMJ pour all night), I can have one pretty much any time I want (instead of going on a bender).
Here's the recipe we used, modified for missing ingredients:
1 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
splash of orange curacao
(orgeat) or in our case, a splash of cheap almond liqueur (could not find orgeat anywhere so this provided the almond color)
(rock candy syrup) again, no dice, so we made due with confectioners sugar
juice of a lime (to taste)
garnish of orange and a sprig of lemon balm (no fresh mint was to be had)
Photos coming soon!
I have to eat my oatmeal now. PMP and I are going to Momazoo's this afternoon. Makin' a pork roast, I believe. I dunno about pork on a hangover, but we'll just find out, won't we?
Here's the recipe we used, modified for missing ingredients:
1 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
splash of orange curacao
(orgeat) or in our case, a splash of cheap almond liqueur (could not find orgeat anywhere so this provided the almond color)
(rock candy syrup) again, no dice, so we made due with confectioners sugar
juice of a lime (to taste)
garnish of orange and a sprig of lemon balm (no fresh mint was to be had)
Photos coming soon!
I have to eat my oatmeal now. PMP and I are going to Momazoo's this afternoon. Makin' a pork roast, I believe. I dunno about pork on a hangover, but we'll just find out, won't we?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The quest continues...
Yesterday I stopped into our local wine and liquor shack to pick up a bottle of our favorite comfort wine (Bully Hill Vineyard's "Love My Goat" table red). As long as I was there, I thought I'd peruse the rum section to see if I could get a leg up on what kind of rum to use in the elusive Mai Tai. I was overwhelmed by rum. So, when I paid fuh my wine at the counter, I asked the guy about rum and Mai Tais, and as his eyes glazed over, he reached for the little Bartender's Black Book they had for sale. I looked up Mai Tai, and sure 'nuff, it's the pink pineapple sick-fest version that almost made me vomit on the spot. He said he knew nothing about rum (and really I should have said, THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WORK IN A LIQUOR STORE?). But I have a line on that place via SMJ and know that collectively, those folks aren't very on top of their supposed game.
When the semester finally ends, I will start collecting Mai Tai ingredients in earnest, especially because PMP will be leaving for the summer and I need to send her off with a proper patio Tiki extravaganza!
When the semester finally ends, I will start collecting Mai Tai ingredients in earnest, especially because PMP will be leaving for the summer and I need to send her off with a proper patio Tiki extravaganza!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
40th Birthday Bash Part I
Yesterday I began what is to be a multi-event celebration of my fourth decade on the planet. PMP and I went shopping in the afternoon, which was a little more chaotic than either of us would have liked. Apparently everyone decided it was a good day to go to the mall since the temps were finally above freezing. I bought myself a pair of abalone earrings, and a couple things for mom and Bizarro. From there we picked up the things for dinner, including 2 bottles of chianti.
Dinner went off without a hitch, although there were 6 of us crammed around the table. Salty Miss Jill baked a delovely chocolate cake, which finished off a spaghetti dinner that I thought was quite passable, although certainly not my best work.
After cleaning up we headed out to Todd's Beach House. Now, understand that we live in Upstate New York. Cow country. Well, wine country, to be precise, but you get the idea. It was dark, it was snowing, and SMJ sorta kinda forgot to tell us about a crucial left turn that would have brought us to the bar within about 15 minutes. We were in two cars - Bizarro the designated driver in our car, PMP in hers. We realized when we crossed the county line that we'd gone too far in the wrong direction, so we backtracked and managed to find our way there.
Recall that this was supposed to be a tiki-themed bar, and bear in mind that I was trying really hard not to have any expectations. I couldn't help having a few expectations, but even those were thwarted. The place is essentially a towny bar with some crap from Florida hung on the walls and ceiling. There is a sign that declares it to be a tiki bar, but other than that, there was a cardboard hula girl, a card board tiki mask and maybe some vaguely looking Polynesian-esque strings of lights hanging over the bar. Most of the stuff was surf-related, which is okay, but not what I was hoping for, really.
Having been let down on the appearance angle, I thought, well, let's order a Mai Tai and see what they've got to show for themselves. I had a birthday drink on the house (they were expecting us after my conversation with the owner earlier in the week), but when I asked for a Mai Tai, the bartender had not a freaking clue. She was very nice but really didn't even know what a Mai Tai was. She went for the drink recipe book, and I just said never mind. Instead, she offered me the specialty drink of the place, called a "Tiki Bowl." (Keep in mind that they only had enough ingredients for four of these - I ordered two and my friends Echo and Phyl each ordered one, and then they ran out of pineapple juice.) The drink had Malibu, Admiral and juices. I'm not a big Malibu fan, myself, but I figured "What the hell." I was hoping hoping hoping it to come in something of a fu manchu mug, or at least an actual glass. It was served to me in a plastic cup. With an orange straw. That's it. No umbrella, no sword-with-a-pineapple-and-cherry garnish. But it was strong, and it took only 2 of those suckers to do the job (well, on top of all the wine I'd had before, during and after dinner).
We made the best of the evening, though, and played some pool, thew a couple decent tunes on the jukebox computer, and generally had fun. The people were very kind and the locals were generous and friendly, although I had to stop one guy from playing Jimmy Buffet on the juke box because that would have set me over the edge, on top off the lack of true tiki atmosphere.
Most importantly, I had the good company and love of friends and Bizarro to help me celebrate. Yes, it would have been nicer to be at a cooler bar, but even so, I am grateful to everyone for being there. Thanks especially to Bizarro, who detests townie bars more than I do, and who was trying really hard not to get into any altercations with the three stoner frat-boys sitting near our table. He's a trooper!
I do have photos, which I will post later, along with more commentary. Right now I have to get myself pulled together for 40th Birthday Bash Part II with mom. We're going to our favorite Chinese restaurant, and you know I'm gettin' the Pu Pu Platter.
Dinner went off without a hitch, although there were 6 of us crammed around the table. Salty Miss Jill baked a delovely chocolate cake, which finished off a spaghetti dinner that I thought was quite passable, although certainly not my best work.
After cleaning up we headed out to Todd's Beach House. Now, understand that we live in Upstate New York. Cow country. Well, wine country, to be precise, but you get the idea. It was dark, it was snowing, and SMJ sorta kinda forgot to tell us about a crucial left turn that would have brought us to the bar within about 15 minutes. We were in two cars - Bizarro the designated driver in our car, PMP in hers. We realized when we crossed the county line that we'd gone too far in the wrong direction, so we backtracked and managed to find our way there.
Recall that this was supposed to be a tiki-themed bar, and bear in mind that I was trying really hard not to have any expectations. I couldn't help having a few expectations, but even those were thwarted. The place is essentially a towny bar with some crap from Florida hung on the walls and ceiling. There is a sign that declares it to be a tiki bar, but other than that, there was a cardboard hula girl, a card board tiki mask and maybe some vaguely looking Polynesian-esque strings of lights hanging over the bar. Most of the stuff was surf-related, which is okay, but not what I was hoping for, really.
Having been let down on the appearance angle, I thought, well, let's order a Mai Tai and see what they've got to show for themselves. I had a birthday drink on the house (they were expecting us after my conversation with the owner earlier in the week), but when I asked for a Mai Tai, the bartender had not a freaking clue. She was very nice but really didn't even know what a Mai Tai was. She went for the drink recipe book, and I just said never mind. Instead, she offered me the specialty drink of the place, called a "Tiki Bowl." (Keep in mind that they only had enough ingredients for four of these - I ordered two and my friends Echo and Phyl each ordered one, and then they ran out of pineapple juice.) The drink had Malibu, Admiral and juices. I'm not a big Malibu fan, myself, but I figured "What the hell." I was hoping hoping hoping it to come in something of a fu manchu mug, or at least an actual glass. It was served to me in a plastic cup. With an orange straw. That's it. No umbrella, no sword-with-a-pineapple-and-cherry garnish. But it was strong, and it took only 2 of those suckers to do the job (well, on top of all the wine I'd had before, during and after dinner).
We made the best of the evening, though, and played some pool, thew a couple decent tunes on the jukebox computer, and generally had fun. The people were very kind and the locals were generous and friendly, although I had to stop one guy from playing Jimmy Buffet on the juke box because that would have set me over the edge, on top off the lack of true tiki atmosphere.
Most importantly, I had the good company and love of friends and Bizarro to help me celebrate. Yes, it would have been nicer to be at a cooler bar, but even so, I am grateful to everyone for being there. Thanks especially to Bizarro, who detests townie bars more than I do, and who was trying really hard not to get into any altercations with the three stoner frat-boys sitting near our table. He's a trooper!
I do have photos, which I will post later, along with more commentary. Right now I have to get myself pulled together for 40th Birthday Bash Part II with mom. We're going to our favorite Chinese restaurant, and you know I'm gettin' the Pu Pu Platter.
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