Taking a break to belt out a quick blog post. It's my last day of writing retreat. What a wonderful couple weeks it's been! I've accomplished everything I set out to do (or will, by the end of today), plus I was able to enjoy some of the Great Outdoors when the sun's peeked through. I also took advantage of the deep bathtub here, eaten a lot less junk (less food in general, come to think of it), done Yoga in the buff (TMI?), and held the rest of the world at bay fairly well while still attending to the really important stuff that couldn't wait until tomorrow.
As usual, I am sad at the thought of leaving this place, but I am ever so grateful that I am able to come here a couple times a year to remind myself what I'm on this planet to do.
I realized a very important shift of awareness a few days ago: I identify myself as a writer, first, and teacher, second. This awareness is a huge wave of relief for me; I no longer have to fight the truth of who I am, just because the world deems it more practical to say "I'm a teacher. Oh, and I write when I have time," rather than "I'm a writer, and also, I teach & tutor part time." In a realistic sense, this means that I don't have to feel guilty for putting other things at bay so that I can write.
I can say, for instance, "No, I can't tutor weekends, because that's my prize time for writing." And I did, in fact, have to say that, when my new jobby job tried to suck me in for hours I never agreed to in the first place. That's right. I have to remain on guard at all times, which is a sad state of affairs, but that's academia for you. (Weekends, my ass!)
And speaking of being a writer...
Showing posts with label retreat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label retreat. Show all posts
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day ?
I've lost count. I think this is Day 8. Anyway, finished Arapata'an, the sci fi saga that's been a part of my life for way too long. Sent it off to my manager and took a deep breath.
I have 5.5 days left of the retreat, so I'm allowing myself only a short break before I dive into the next project, which is my TV pilot. I'd already written quite a bit for it, but I've decided to change the main character completely, so it's going to be a whole new thang. Looking forward to that process now.
PMP and TMH are back from their honeymoon in Costa Rica, and real life has reasserted itself for her. PMP's blog tells a tale I am all to familiar with - dealing with her aging Mom. As I read her blog post "Cracked," I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Everything I went through in '08 leading into January of '09 was right there - only now in perspective. Not raw. Not anymore. Still very emotional, of course, but not so raw. Mostly, I felt a pang of sadness for PMP, because I know how it is to be the only daughter of an aging mother. I know the pressures, the heartbreak, the stress, and the unrelenting reminder of my own mortality. I know the road PMP has just taken her first few steps on, and I know it can feel like a lonely road at times. But I also know that if we walk the road with love and compassion, it will ultimately lead to a place in life that is beyond our imagining. My thoughts are with PMP and her Mom.
I have 5.5 days left of the retreat, so I'm allowing myself only a short break before I dive into the next project, which is my TV pilot. I'd already written quite a bit for it, but I've decided to change the main character completely, so it's going to be a whole new thang. Looking forward to that process now.
PMP and TMH are back from their honeymoon in Costa Rica, and real life has reasserted itself for her. PMP's blog tells a tale I am all to familiar with - dealing with her aging Mom. As I read her blog post "Cracked," I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Everything I went through in '08 leading into January of '09 was right there - only now in perspective. Not raw. Not anymore. Still very emotional, of course, but not so raw. Mostly, I felt a pang of sadness for PMP, because I know how it is to be the only daughter of an aging mother. I know the pressures, the heartbreak, the stress, and the unrelenting reminder of my own mortality. I know the road PMP has just taken her first few steps on, and I know it can feel like a lonely road at times. But I also know that if we walk the road with love and compassion, it will ultimately lead to a place in life that is beyond our imagining. My thoughts are with PMP and her Mom.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 6
When I was a little girl, my dad used to call me "my little pasta fagioli" (pronounced "fazool" or "fazhool"). It wasn't until years later, after his death, that I learned he was actually calling me his "little pasta and beans."
Here's the recipe I just threw together with what was on hand at the retreat house for a hearty, late lunch:
Ms. Bizarro's Pasta Fagioli - vegetarian protein and carbs fest with the colors of the Italian flag: green, white and red.
Make sure you have a piece of good bread on hand to mop up the sauce at the end. Dad used to say that Grandpa would get mad at my youngest uncle for leaving all the sauce at the end of a meal. Don't incur the wrath of Grandpa Pete! (Also, please don't drink milk with your pasta; that's just plain wrong).
Here's the recipe I just threw together with what was on hand at the retreat house for a hearty, late lunch:
Ms. Bizarro's Pasta Fagioli - vegetarian protein and carbs fest with the colors of the Italian flag: green, white and red.
- 1 can diced tomatoes
- 1 can pinto beans (you can use any bean, but I think black beans would give it a tex-mex flava)
- a handful of orzo pasta (you can use any small pasta)
- 1/2 - 1 green pepper, diced
- 2-3 spring onions, diced
- a plop or two of honey
- sea salt & ground black pepper to taste
- pinch of coriander
- oregeno & basil to taste
Make sure you have a piece of good bread on hand to mop up the sauce at the end. Dad used to say that Grandpa would get mad at my youngest uncle for leaving all the sauce at the end of a meal. Don't incur the wrath of Grandpa Pete! (Also, please don't drink milk with your pasta; that's just plain wrong).
Friday, January 08, 2010
Day 4
Finally, I seem to have hit the groove here. Maybe I just needed a couple days to allow my brain to truly unwind without the interference or presence of any other people. Also, I think moving my desk to the windows was a very good move. So last night, I got a good night's sleep (except for the nightmare that woke me up, yelling, at 1:30 a.m. - something about a witch/demon after me - perhaps the Witch of Writer's Block, or Acedia, the Noonday Demon). Anyway, I got up at a healthy hour and drove straight here, didn't allow myself to play Bejeweled: Twist for more than 5 minutes, and got to work on the sci fi script with my manager's notes.
Ms. Bizarro's Power Salad - packed with healthy carbs and meatless protein (not vegan; sorry but I love cheese wayyy too much)
Ms. Bizarro's Power Salad - packed with healthy carbs and meatless protein (not vegan; sorry but I love cheese wayyy too much)
- Dice up: Sweet peppers (green, red or yellow), cucumber, Gala apple, avocado, cherry or Roma tomatoes.
- Add a couple tufts of zesty sprouts, a small handful of walnuts, and feta cheese.
- Top with tahini instead of salad dressing.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
What is wrong with moi? I can't wake up, I'm depressed, I can't focus, I can't get anything done. I managed to get up early this morning and drive to the retreat house (only after scraping ice off my car), but now it's 10:30 and I haven't accomplished a bloody thing. All I want to do is sleep.
I'm dreading the semester, I'm hating the winter with every essence of my being, and I'm just fed up. I'm fed up with the part time quilt of work that keeps me running like a beheaded chicken, and the lousy pay, and the fact that I need a new car and have bills that I can just manage to pay. I'm fed up with being cold and not seeing the fucking sun for days or weeks at a time.
Usually, coming here gets me on the path of productivity, but I'm in a different studio than I've been in the past. It's not as spacious and is in the ground floor, although there are large windows facing the same view as the desk I had upstairs in the other studio. There's nothing wrong with it, but somehow I can't get myself to focus in here. Maybe I have to move the desk to the windows, so I can stare out into the tundra that surrounds me.
I just don't know.
I'm dreading the semester, I'm hating the winter with every essence of my being, and I'm just fed up. I'm fed up with the part time quilt of work that keeps me running like a beheaded chicken, and the lousy pay, and the fact that I need a new car and have bills that I can just manage to pay. I'm fed up with being cold and not seeing the fucking sun for days or weeks at a time.
Usually, coming here gets me on the path of productivity, but I'm in a different studio than I've been in the past. It's not as spacious and is in the ground floor, although there are large windows facing the same view as the desk I had upstairs in the other studio. There's nothing wrong with it, but somehow I can't get myself to focus in here. Maybe I have to move the desk to the windows, so I can stare out into the tundra that surrounds me.
I just don't know.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Day 1
The day got off to a slowish start, getting the snowtires done, then mailing the proofed manuscript off, then picking up all my stuff and stopping for coffee, but I finally made it to the retreat house and got a lot of good writing done today.
Worked on the sci fi TV pilot and am working my way through a final edit of what started as a piece of fan fic, but what will hopefully get published by the same small press that is putting out the book I proofed (and honestly, my writing is loads better than the book I proofed).
Just having that much space and time to myself was an incredible boost to my mood. I think that's been 50% of my feeling down and out since coming back from Cleveland - not having time to myself for a couple weeks. I love my husband and my family, but I am a classic Myers-Briggs Introvert, which means I charge my batteries by being alone and doing my own thing.
The other 50% of not feeling myself has been the fact that the first anniversary of Momazoo's death is coming up in a couple weeks. It does not seem possible that it's been a year. I'll be going along and suddenly an image will pop into my mind, of her sick, in the nursing home, in my home for our last Christmas together. I've had bad dreams every morning for the last 4-5 days; sometimes it's about Mom being sick, sometimes it's me and Mom fighting and bickering over some random thing. Always very sad and uncomfortable. Today I started trying to make it more conscious, so that I can feel whatever I'm trying to feel rather than have it come out in these upsetting dreams.
I think just having the time to do my own thing and take care of myself is going to help. I plan to do some kind of memorial at the cemetery on the 22nd, weather permitting (i.e. if it stops snowing for five minutes).
Looking forward to Day 2 at the retreat house. I'm bringing bath salts; the bathtub there is huge compared to my little one at home. Here's to another productive day.
Worked on the sci fi TV pilot and am working my way through a final edit of what started as a piece of fan fic, but what will hopefully get published by the same small press that is putting out the book I proofed (and honestly, my writing is loads better than the book I proofed).
Just having that much space and time to myself was an incredible boost to my mood. I think that's been 50% of my feeling down and out since coming back from Cleveland - not having time to myself for a couple weeks. I love my husband and my family, but I am a classic Myers-Briggs Introvert, which means I charge my batteries by being alone and doing my own thing.
The other 50% of not feeling myself has been the fact that the first anniversary of Momazoo's death is coming up in a couple weeks. It does not seem possible that it's been a year. I'll be going along and suddenly an image will pop into my mind, of her sick, in the nursing home, in my home for our last Christmas together. I've had bad dreams every morning for the last 4-5 days; sometimes it's about Mom being sick, sometimes it's me and Mom fighting and bickering over some random thing. Always very sad and uncomfortable. Today I started trying to make it more conscious, so that I can feel whatever I'm trying to feel rather than have it come out in these upsetting dreams.
I think just having the time to do my own thing and take care of myself is going to help. I plan to do some kind of memorial at the cemetery on the 22nd, weather permitting (i.e. if it stops snowing for five minutes).
Looking forward to Day 2 at the retreat house. I'm bringing bath salts; the bathtub there is huge compared to my little one at home. Here's to another productive day.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Possible delay due to inclement shittiness.
My writing retreat is supposed to start tomorrow, but there are three things that impede my progress:
1. Freaking snow. I doubt they're plowed out up at the retreat place, though it is possible. Meantime, the snow keeps falling and falling and falling.
2. Proofreading. I'm still (STILL) proofing a book for that small press and it's taking forEVAR.
3. Speeding ticket. I have to meet with the Assistant D.A. of East Scuttlefuck, NY to cop a plea to my Halloween speeding ticket.
I plan to stay up late proofing and will get up early to proof some more. I will start my own work as soon as that's done, regardless of whether or not I can get into the retreat house tomorrow.
No worries; I will make it happen! By the way, I hear Mercury is in retrograde, to which I say, "Mercury can go screw itself!"
YATTA! ("I did it!")
1. Freaking snow. I doubt they're plowed out up at the retreat place, though it is possible. Meantime, the snow keeps falling and falling and falling.
2. Proofreading. I'm still (STILL) proofing a book for that small press and it's taking forEVAR.
3. Speeding ticket. I have to meet with the Assistant D.A. of East Scuttlefuck, NY to cop a plea to my Halloween speeding ticket.
I plan to stay up late proofing and will get up early to proof some more. I will start my own work as soon as that's done, regardless of whether or not I can get into the retreat house tomorrow.
No worries; I will make it happen! By the way, I hear Mercury is in retrograde, to which I say, "Mercury can go screw itself!"
YATTA! ("I did it!")
Monday, March 09, 2009
Writing Retreat - Day 1b
Today was difficult to crank up. I realized I'd left some important stuff at home so I took 30 minutes to run home for them. Came back and had difficulty focusing. Then it finally hit me later on - the last time I spent 5 days in that space was the week before Mom died. I hate to keep beating that drum, but it just goes to show you how far-reaching this has been. I cried on the drive home. Then stopped for Ben and Jerry's chocolate ice cream. I'm hoping that acknowledging those feelings and venting them a bit will make tomorrow feel a little more like a writing day. I DID get some good work done tonight, although I didn't finish my goal for the day.
If I'm not feeling substantially better tomorrow, I will ask about moving into a different studio (the one downstairs from my current space). We'll see how it washes.
Now am very tired even with the time change so I think I'll zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
If I'm not feeling substantially better tomorrow, I will ask about moving into a different studio (the one downstairs from my current space). We'll see how it washes.
Now am very tired even with the time change so I think I'll zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Writing Retreat - Epilogue
Remember when cop shows in the 70s had "epilogues," and they'd actually say it across the screen: "Epilogue." Are you old enough to remember cop shows in the 70s?
So I'm home now, in the freezing tundra that is our apartment. When it's -4trillion degrees outside, it really doesn't matter how high you crank up the antiquated "radiant heaters." It's gonna be cold no matter what. The last couple nights Bizarro and I have been sleeping on the futon in our living room because the bedroom might as well be out in the parking lot, it's so damned cold in there. It's been fun, though, like a sleep over.
So I finished the day working on the Korea doco. Still am struggling with the script but I'm getting closer - I can feel it. My goal is to be ready for rough cutting in March when I go back to the artist colony during spring break. Which is right after we go to Splash Lagoon!
This was a remarkably productive retreat. I was in a different studio than the last few times I went up there. This one is actually called a "writer's studio" rather than the painter's studio I had before. It's warmer, for one thing, and is right next to the full kitchen. And there's carpeting. The writing desk faces the sun all day - so lovely and warm!
Know what I wish I had right now? Ondol flooring like they have in Korea. Heating THROUGH the floor. What a simple, amazing, brilliant concept. Instead we Americans slap wall-to-wall carpeting on top of concrete can call it done. Sheesh.
I am SO READY to find out who the Final Cylon is tonight! And what the frak is up with "Earth?" and when will Apollo and Starbuck just DO IT for gods' sake!
"Ghosthunting for Frat Boys" (aka Ghost Adventures) is on now. Fools. "Paranormal State" starts back up on Monday. Looks like it's another demon episode. Those folks better be careful what they're messing with.
That's all my ranting for now. Time to go curl up in a swaddle of blankets and my corn warmer.
So I'm home now, in the freezing tundra that is our apartment. When it's -4trillion degrees outside, it really doesn't matter how high you crank up the antiquated "radiant heaters." It's gonna be cold no matter what. The last couple nights Bizarro and I have been sleeping on the futon in our living room because the bedroom might as well be out in the parking lot, it's so damned cold in there. It's been fun, though, like a sleep over.
So I finished the day working on the Korea doco. Still am struggling with the script but I'm getting closer - I can feel it. My goal is to be ready for rough cutting in March when I go back to the artist colony during spring break. Which is right after we go to Splash Lagoon!
This was a remarkably productive retreat. I was in a different studio than the last few times I went up there. This one is actually called a "writer's studio" rather than the painter's studio I had before. It's warmer, for one thing, and is right next to the full kitchen. And there's carpeting. The writing desk faces the sun all day - so lovely and warm!
Know what I wish I had right now? Ondol flooring like they have in Korea. Heating THROUGH the floor. What a simple, amazing, brilliant concept. Instead we Americans slap wall-to-wall carpeting on top of concrete can call it done. Sheesh.
I am SO READY to find out who the Final Cylon is tonight! And what the frak is up with "Earth?" and when will Apollo and Starbuck just DO IT for gods' sake!
"Ghosthunting for Frat Boys" (aka Ghost Adventures) is on now. Fools. "Paranormal State" starts back up on Monday. Looks like it's another demon episode. Those folks better be careful what they're messing with.
That's all my ranting for now. Time to go curl up in a swaddle of blankets and my corn warmer.
Day 5 - Pt. II
My time here is winding down. I've had a pretty good day working on the documentary about life in Korea, but it is slow going. The script just sounds like crap to me. It lacks focus. I can't seem to get out what I want to say, and I'm worried it's going to be disjointed and inaccessible (like the film I made in Ireland ten years ago).
The good news is I've secured another 5 days here in March for spring break. I plan to bring all my footage from Korea and my hard drive to start cutting a rough cut.
Meantime I am going to get my hands on documentaries to study - but I have to find some personal films, not just explanatory "national geographic" type films.
Here is something that cheered me up, though. If you have some time, check this out:
American Hula (POV Series)
The good news is I've secured another 5 days here in March for spring break. I plan to bring all my footage from Korea and my hard drive to start cutting a rough cut.
Meantime I am going to get my hands on documentaries to study - but I have to find some personal films, not just explanatory "national geographic" type films.
Here is something that cheered me up, though. If you have some time, check this out:
American Hula (POV Series)
Day 5 - Pt. 1
It doesn't get any better than this - the sky is clear, the sun is shining in the east, the snow is like diamonds, and I'm sitting in front of a huge, glorious window with my delicious dark coffee and ginger snaps.
Every morning on the way here, the radio man says it's partly cloudy, but the sky has been crisp and blue every morning. The clouds roll in usually around 10 a.m.
This morning it was -3 on the drive in, with a wind child of -15.
Every morning on the way here, the radio man says it's partly cloudy, but the sky has been crisp and blue every morning. The clouds roll in usually around 10 a.m.
This morning it was -3 on the drive in, with a wind child of -15.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Day 4
Kind of a rollicking day. Got started early, then had to break to meet Mom at the doctor's office. She had the dialysis catheter removed, then we went back to the nursing home to have lunch and spend a little Q-time. Ironically, I stayed away for a week because I was sick and didn't want to get her sick. Turns out the entire nursing home is rampant with this upper respiratory thing and she's been coughing for a couple days.
Got back to the retreat colony around 3:00 p.m. and TAH-DAAAH: finished the first FULL draft of Beauty Is... So on a productivity scale of 1 - 10, "1" being a 7-hour cat nap and "10" being a full first draft of a script that has been plaguing me for months, I score a 10!
I have a hair cut appointment at 5:00 but then am coming back here to work on my documentary script. Tomorrow I'll tool around with that some more, and get my notes typed in for a final-ish revision of Homeworld, the sci-fi that's been plaguing me for years.
I am pretty tired and very crampy, however, so it IS tough to keep pressing. Especially when I've finished something that feels so momentous that I feel like I deserve a break. But I DON'T deserve a break! I have 1.5 days left of retreat, so I'm going to keep kicking it. Only thing is, I will probably start the semester exhausted - especially since I have to spend time this weekend at Mom's AL room instead of resting and/or working on prepping for the semester.
Iz alright.
Got back to the retreat colony around 3:00 p.m. and TAH-DAAAH: finished the first FULL draft of Beauty Is... So on a productivity scale of 1 - 10, "1" being a 7-hour cat nap and "10" being a full first draft of a script that has been plaguing me for months, I score a 10!
I have a hair cut appointment at 5:00 but then am coming back here to work on my documentary script. Tomorrow I'll tool around with that some more, and get my notes typed in for a final-ish revision of Homeworld, the sci-fi that's been plaguing me for years.
I am pretty tired and very crampy, however, so it IS tough to keep pressing. Especially when I've finished something that feels so momentous that I feel like I deserve a break. But I DON'T deserve a break! I have 1.5 days left of retreat, so I'm going to keep kicking it. Only thing is, I will probably start the semester exhausted - especially since I have to spend time this weekend at Mom's AL room instead of resting and/or working on prepping for the semester.
Iz alright.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Day 3 - Pt. II
Today has been very productive. On a productivity scale of 1 - 10, "1" being "I counted all my toes. Twice." and "10" being "Spielberg just picked up my latest spec script to go into production next week," I score about a 6.
Cranking through BEAUTY IS... but it's hard, it's so hard. So many plot devices and consistency issues. And I am continually pushing back the Writing Demon that whispers in my ear, "That sucks. You suck. Why don't you just go beg for your old job back at the Chorch? This plot is boring. Who cares? No body cares. You suck."
I'm getting peckish for dinner...
Cranking through BEAUTY IS... but it's hard, it's so hard. So many plot devices and consistency issues. And I am continually pushing back the Writing Demon that whispers in my ear, "That sucks. You suck. Why don't you just go beg for your old job back at the Chorch? This plot is boring. Who cares? No body cares. You suck."
I'm getting peckish for dinner...
Day 3 - Pt. 1
Got here bright and early, set up the coffee pot, and am getting down to work on "Beauty Is..." (the 1950s coming of age-mystery). I have cramps which totally blows chud and makes it hard to focus, but I am pushing through like the proverbial trooper.
If you haven't seen "Leverage" on TNT, you should watch. Great writing. Sort of "The Equalizer" meets "Oceans 11." Last night I tracked the acts, buttons, and runners. Brilliant!
Okay, more coffee and then it's time to open Final Draft...
If you haven't seen "Leverage" on TNT, you should watch. Great writing. Sort of "The Equalizer" meets "Oceans 11." Last night I tracked the acts, buttons, and runners. Brilliant!
Okay, more coffee and then it's time to open Final Draft...
Retreat Day 2
Day 2 was fairly productive. On a productivity scale of 1-10, 1 being "I ain't got jack done" and 10 being "I wrote an entire screenplay in 8 hours," yesterday stacks up to about a 4. I worked on three projects, did some fiddling/researching with TV script formats, and realized that I need to do some more thinking and research for my TV pilot. Then I switched gears to my 1950s coming of age-mystery last night and will continue with that for most of today. I've also gotten a fair amount of reading done - stuff that's been sitting in my inbox for awhile (including this month's issue of Creative Screenwriting).
Monday, January 12, 2009
Day 1 Pt. II
The afternoon moved along and I got stuff done. Just ate dinner (left over, warmed up pizza) and the night is pressing in at all the huge windows in this place. I have all the blinds up. Don't get to do this in the city! Don't worry I'm not prancing around nekkid. Not that I wouldn't if it weren't so freaking cold. Actually I got the temp up in here to the high 60s (I'm guessing).
Found a new favorite iTunes stream: Planet Pootwaddle Dot Com (Music for Pot Smokin' Baby Boomer Music Fanatics). That's the actual description. I am neither pot smokin' nor a Boomer, but I do like the jams there. They are eclectic and weird, which means I like them, I do.
Okay, I've got more work to do this evening. C ya.
Found a new favorite iTunes stream: Planet Pootwaddle Dot Com (Music for Pot Smokin' Baby Boomer Music Fanatics). That's the actual description. I am neither pot smokin' nor a Boomer, but I do like the jams there. They are eclectic and weird, which means I like them, I do.
Okay, I've got more work to do this evening. C ya.
Retreat Day 1
So far what I've done today on retreat:
- spent an hour with Sprint customer service and tech support because my phone's Roaming is not working if I place a call off the sprint network.
- emailing back and forth with the social worker at Mom's nursing home because I can't call anyone over there (Verizon) and I had a bunch of business to take care of for Mom.
- diddling with the settings on the thermostat because it was ballz cold in this room a little while ago.
I think I've gotten most of the immediate needs taken care of. Now it's 1:00 and I haven't written a thing and I need sustenance.
At least I had the presence of mind this morning to get a large hazelnut coffee to go before driving out here to the middle of nowhere.
I hope to gawd the rest of the week shapes up or this will be biggest waste of $25 ever.
- spent an hour with Sprint customer service and tech support because my phone's Roaming is not working if I place a call off the sprint network.
- emailing back and forth with the social worker at Mom's nursing home because I can't call anyone over there (Verizon) and I had a bunch of business to take care of for Mom.
- diddling with the settings on the thermostat because it was ballz cold in this room a little while ago.
I think I've gotten most of the immediate needs taken care of. Now it's 1:00 and I haven't written a thing and I need sustenance.
At least I had the presence of mind this morning to get a large hazelnut coffee to go before driving out here to the middle of nowhere.
I hope to gawd the rest of the week shapes up or this will be biggest waste of $25 ever.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Writing Retreat
This coming week I'm supposed to be on a writing retreat, which in reality is only going to be a semi-retreat because I have so many many things to do in the outside world. Not only that, but I still have work that didn't get done from last week that needs to be done and I don't want to use my writing time for it.
I know what a whiner, right?
I know what a whiner, right?
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Picking up the pieces
I'm back home after the last few days at Momazoo's. I am utterly exhausted in every way. And I have a shitload of stuff to do here - take down the xmas tree, do piles of laundry, and get some exercise in.
Mom is doing okay; she thanked us a dozen times for being there and helping her through the worst of the shock and grief. My mom tends to hold in her anxiety and unhappy feelings, but I encouraged her not to do that, that it wasn't healthy to repress all that stuff. I reminded her how close we are and that all she needs to do is pick up the phone if she's feeling really down. Today she went to church as per usual and will have her "ladies" over for coffee and cake in the afternoon as she normally does on Sunday. I think the routine and company will be good for her. Yesterday I drove her and one of her friends who lives in the same building over to their beauty salon to get their hair done. I think it was good for her to get out of the house and be around other people.
And of course, as Salty Miss Jill has reminded me, I need to take care of myself, too. I'm not sure how to do that. I have crap to get done that has piled up over the last 4 days, and I gotta get it done. But I will feel good when I get the boring stuff done today and can start logging my Korea video tomorrow. I will have 2 full days of writing retreat before I'll have to leave for the funeral, and then another 2.5 days of retreat after that. So that's something (and remember folks, there's a jacuzzi tub at the retreat house!). Nothing better come in the way of me and that retreat, or there will be HELL TO PAY!
And can I just say that we have had grey skies for 4 days straight and there is no sun in the forecast for the next few days? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I hate living in this god-forsaken sun-less place. I need to be able to spend winters in some lovely warm place and come back in spring. How can I make that happen? If you have any suggestions, please leave them here.
Okay, now I have to get to all the crap that awaits me. I am going to open my shrine and meditate before I get started.
Mom is doing okay; she thanked us a dozen times for being there and helping her through the worst of the shock and grief. My mom tends to hold in her anxiety and unhappy feelings, but I encouraged her not to do that, that it wasn't healthy to repress all that stuff. I reminded her how close we are and that all she needs to do is pick up the phone if she's feeling really down. Today she went to church as per usual and will have her "ladies" over for coffee and cake in the afternoon as she normally does on Sunday. I think the routine and company will be good for her. Yesterday I drove her and one of her friends who lives in the same building over to their beauty salon to get their hair done. I think it was good for her to get out of the house and be around other people.
And of course, as Salty Miss Jill has reminded me, I need to take care of myself, too. I'm not sure how to do that. I have crap to get done that has piled up over the last 4 days, and I gotta get it done. But I will feel good when I get the boring stuff done today and can start logging my Korea video tomorrow. I will have 2 full days of writing retreat before I'll have to leave for the funeral, and then another 2.5 days of retreat after that. So that's something (and remember folks, there's a jacuzzi tub at the retreat house!). Nothing better come in the way of me and that retreat, or there will be HELL TO PAY!
And can I just say that we have had grey skies for 4 days straight and there is no sun in the forecast for the next few days? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I hate living in this god-forsaken sun-less place. I need to be able to spend winters in some lovely warm place and come back in spring. How can I make that happen? If you have any suggestions, please leave them here.
Okay, now I have to get to all the crap that awaits me. I am going to open my shrine and meditate before I get started.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)