I went to the allergist and had the "prick test" done. This is not a test to see if I'm a prick. It's a test that pricks a person's skin with allergens to see whether the allergic response is activated.

I am allergic to these fuckers:


Also teh kyoot Iz ahlerjik too:


And finally, a bunch of tree pollen, like birch and a few others:


Time to get Nazi on the dust mites.

I am shocked - SHOCKED - that I am not allergic to this nasty shit:

Lady Gaga = Ace of Base + Madonna + Steam punk surplus store liquidation sale

Today's title sums up the morning's revelations about life in this modern world.

The last couple days have been fairly obnoxious. More summing up:

1. The Korean university kindly informed me Monday morning that I'd be needing a C-4 visa, which left me with less than 2 weeks to procure said visa.
2. The ENT guy has no idea why I can hear my pulse pounding in my left ear, but assures me my head won't explode on the plane to Korea. At some point when I get back, I'll need an MRI of my head.
3. It's been 60 degrees and/or raining here.
4. I burned my dinner of flax waffles last night.

At least I'm working a roller derby bout Saturday night (although it's a 2-hour drive), my new writing group is going well, as is my curriculum planning for Korea, and my writing projects are kicking some butt. These things are not to be overlooked, because they're keeping me sane right now.

Though she's not around these parts much any more, welcome home to the U.S.D.A., Salty Miss Jill.

Ed! to the rescue

So as you know, I was feeling down and out today. I got on ye olde Facebooke and had a chat with my dear Dharma friend Ed! in Columbus. He tipped me off to a very cool thing: my constant illnesses, one after the other, may well be a ripening of karma. Now, this isn't to say that I shouldn't keep striving for a healthier immune system, etc. but somehow this puts a spin on things that helps me to relax. "The Rinpoches," he wrote, "would tell you to get all Tonglen-y with it." Tonglen is a beautiful practice of dedicating the merit of your own suffering to the elimination of the suffering of others (in a nutshell). It takes the emphasis off your own pain, and puts it into a much larger context. And on a karmic level, it helps to purify that negative icky stuff.

Now for those of my tiny readership that don't buy into the laws of karma or Dharma, hey that's cool. If nothing else, getting the focus off the "me" is never a bad thing; it produces a more compassionate person.

So hey, it's hep to have a runny nose! It's cool to sneeze all over the place! Out with the mucus already! Sore throats make the world go 'round! Sinuses are the chambers of goodness and universal harmony! Cold sores are, well those are kinda nasty, but harbingers of good things to come nonetheless!

Stick a needle in me!

Went to my first of 6 acupuncture treatments today and got my batch of Chinese herbs. It really was a relief, to know what's going on and why and to know that something is being done.

I have to say that post-flu, I've been feeling much more centered, emotionally and mentally. It's like being down for that week and a half pushed the re-set button. I also think a lot of the introspection and EFT I did while I was down had an effect. My head feels lighter and clearer, and I don't feel quite the same heaviness that I was dragging around with me for months.

I am optimistic that the holiday season won't be as bad as I'd once feared. Tonight I had to go to the mall for an errand, and I was pleasantly surprised that the Christmas Consumer decorations and muzak didn't bother me. I've struggled with Christmas every year since my dad died in 1979, and walking through a store at the holidays quite often would leave me in tears. This time, though, something was different. I kept hearing in my head "You deserve to enjoy Christmas. We're happy, and you should be too." That thought kept running over and over, and at one point (in Yankee Candle) when my favorite of all Christmas songs came on - Home for the Holidays by Perry Como - I was singing along and smiling. There was no dark sadness or feelings of despair. I felt like at last, Mom and Dad are together and the holidays are again a time for joy, new traditions, and happy memories to be shared and made.

Didn't that just sound like a Hallmark card? But it's all true.

Progress is being made, and I have another piece of good news to share: I have 2 weeks of writing retreat in January 2010 at the same place I've gone to over the last 2-3 years. Wow, what an incredible gift! My recent meeting with a new manager has inspired me with notes and possibilities and I am soooo ready to write, revise, and create.

I'm off to drink my nasty-tasting Chinese herbs now.

Finally someone tells it like it is

Is the secret to weight loss hidden in the Acai berry?

When I walked into a dietary supplement store a couple of months ago to ask about fiber products, the disheveled 50-something salesman with sagging shoulders tried really hard to cold sell me some $50 Acai berry juice that is an absolute MUST for weight loss. He delivered the pre-packaged pitch like a good little drone, and then I told him I don't trust the fads and reminded him of Goji berries, which was the last craze for weight loss. He immediately sucked up to me by saying how he, too, doesn't trust these dadburn crazes and turned back to the boxes of colon blow on the shelf.

I am so pissed off at the snake oil salesmen out there (and I'm talking large companies, not just the schlubbs in the mall who try to push these products) who make us believe that we have to lose weight and we have to buy these products, and then make up some fake-ass testing process to "prove" how efficacious the shit is.

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine got into selling Goji berries, and it was really as if she had been brainwashed. I finally asked her to stop badgering me to buy a $70-per-liter bottle of juice every time we spoke, and questioned whether this product was worth her time, and even if it was taking away from her natural abilities to counsel and heal people. She hasn't spoken to me since. For a berry that is supposed to "lift your consciousness" (those are her words) it's done a good job of ruining a friendship.

Has anyone else noticed...

...the ubiquitous internet ads for losing belly fat? I am so freaking tired of looking at pictures of ugly flab and lean tummies. Why are we so frakking obsessed with our bodies? It's fine to want to be healthy and feel good. It's a shame that people are making a killing off of other people's insecurities.

Reality Bites

So now we're well into 2009, and the peachy haze of the holidays and celebration and family and indoor water parks is starting to fade as we enter the first work week of the new year. I have a shitload of phone calls to make tomorrow, mainly on Mom's behalf. I need to set up an appointment to see the other nursing home/rehab center, and I also need to talk to the hospice nurse to try to get some kind of assessment. The big question is: is it an unreasonable expectation for Mom to try to get back to assisted living? Or is that just a pipe dream and we should start getting her ready to move to this other nursing facility (if in fact it is suitable)?

The other main focus of the next few days is getting ourselves back on budget after the last 2 weeks of frivolity. I will have student loan payments starting up again the middle of this year and I hope to gawd I have some way of paying those fckrz. I owe well let's just say I owe a lot, thanks to my MFA. But hey - at least I'm using that MFA to teach screenwriting! What I need is a full-time teaching gig, really. I am hoping that my part-time gig at the community college will blossom into something more permanent. There is no reason to believe that it can't - the program has grown exponentially, and they have plans to expand it in the coming years. Me being on the ground floor of that expansion is a very good thing, indeed.

Anyway, back to our budget - I have to very carefully think about where and how I want to spend and save my cash monies. I want to invest in my health and mental well-being, and stop wasting money on stupid shit like books and clothes I don't need (that's what the library and trendy 2nd-hand clothing stores are for). Also, I will stop buying pre-packaged cookie dough at nearly $4 a pop. Not to mention the deleterious effect it has on my waistline.

Another thing I have to do - or rather stop doing - is not snacking in the evenings. Oh. My. God. I do well all day long but when the sun sets and I'm on the couch reading or watching the boob toob, I just CRAVE JUNK. I have to figure something out. Herbal tea instead of cookies. EFT instead of caving.

Okay, so now I have some more refined intentions for 2009:

For mind/body: Yoga, swimming, meditation, eating yogurt instead of crap, drinking organic coffee.

For career: Invest more in my teaching and make daily dedicated time for writing.

For marriage: Set time aside for just us two, and find ways to have FUN together (not just sitting in front of the TV).

For Mom: Attend to her and her situation with love and compassion, even when dealing with sanctimonious nurses and addle-brained aides.

Body Image

Today PMP and I did a Target run (our last until August! boo hoo! it's like going home from college for the summer and not seeing your friends for 3 months, except I'm staying and she's going... I will miss her sooo much...).

Anyway, we did a Target run and I tried on some fun T-shirts - I was excited to buy some fun summer colors - but lo and behold, the shirts were utterly too small for me. I was so disgusted with myself in the dressing room mirror. Can I just tell you? I don't mean to get too personal, but I have gained 8.5 lbs since February - despite all the belly dancing and walking. I know part of it is my diet (a BIG part of it) and the other part is the sort of half-assed way I approach fitness. So anyway, I nearly had a breakdown in Tar-zhay -- poor PMP! I totally rained on our parade, but then I pulled myself out of it and we enjoyed the rest of our evening and dinner together.

SO what is it with my weight? Why am I having such a hard time? I keep asking myself these questions, and while I admit that diet and exercise are the main problems, I also have to cut myself some slack and realize that I AM 40. Metabolism slows after 30 - I forget how much with each year. This just means I have to be smarter about my food and exercise. I am really REALLY motivated after my visit to the doctor's last week and this latest incident in the dressing room to get my act together.

Of course I had to go and fucking sprain my ankle (badly, as it turns out - it is still very bruised and tender, though I am walking more normally on it now). So with a sprained ankle I can't dance or go walking. But I am doing calisthenics - push ups, sit ups, using hand weights, and stretching. The basics. I figure by the time I return from Massachussetts, I will be able to rejoin my dance class and start up the Yoga class I've been eyeing for awhile (taught by my awesome chiropractor/massage therapist). Until then, I will continue with the basics and watch the snacking at night (that is my downfall, I have determined). Eventually it will be summer and I can go swimming in the pool as well, and I intend on getting a membership to the Y so that I can continue swimming and other exercise indoors when the shitty weather hits late Fall.

Don't worry, though, this will never happen:



P.S. And oh yeah, I'm off alcohol for awhile as I attempt to limit my intake of sugars, as well as hydrogenated oils and other bad stuff. No Mai Tais for awhile (well, I will have one at Tiki Port, but ONLY one).

Un-frakking-believable

I sprained my fucking left ankle today while carrying laundry from the laundry room (there was a small step and I missed it). Luckily it was the last item on the list of housework for the day, so at least my house is clean and the laundry is done, which is good because I'm stuck on the couch so I have nothing to do but notice how clean the place is.

At least it's not broken (had it xrayed at the urgent care clinic).

Still going to Mom's for Mother's Day tomorrow. Bizarro is driving though, and I will have to ride with my foot up on the dashboard.

So much for the beginning of summer.

Mood: sprained.

Broad in the Beam

Yesterday I went to Mom's to take her to the doctor (she's doing okay, other than the high blood pressure which she just can't control no matter what meds she takes or how much she's on). Anyway, we had a delightful time before and after the doctor visit. I told her of my new exercise regimen (using the BALL and BAND) and she said it sounded good. She also said that I'm getting "Broad in the beam," which is a half-joking attempt to tell me I'm getting a WIDE ASS. I looked at her and said, "These are your genes, Ma." She laughed and responded "Yes, I know, I'm sorry. You'll want to take care of that now so you don't look like me when you're 80."

Indeed, I have other health considerations besides not looking like a model. Both mom and my Uncle Bill have Type B Diabetes, so I have to be careful about diet and exercise now if I'm going to try to avoid that fate.

I love the BALL and BAND. It makes exercise fun, which is good because I don't like exercise unless it's fun (dance, martial art, etc.). With the frakked up knee situation, I am barred from a lot of things I'd love to do (Tae Kwon Do and any other "hard" martial art, and many forms of dance that are hard impact). If I had more money this summer I'd get into a yoga class, but since I'm limited by funds as well, the BALL and BAND is a good alternative. And the pool has been approved by the health inspectors here, so once the temperatures get out of the SIXTIES (what the hell, is this April 6 or June 6??), I can also go swimming every day.

I've been reading about the G.I. -- Glycemic Index -- which is a nutritionists theory about how blood sugar (and the foods we eat) affects other aspects of our metabolism. This also dovetails into the Type B Diabetes, because hypoglycemia, which I've tended to have, can eventually lead to Diabetes. Essentially, the G.I. theory postulates that we should not be worrying about fat as much as sugar. Not a fad diet, but a reasonable, well-rounded diet that includes plenty of protein, and avoids sugars and carbs like white bread and potatoes.

Read more about it here. This supports what the acupuncture doctor told me last winter about eating three full meals a day with a serving of protein in each meal and avoiding snacks to allow 4 hours between meals to allow digestion to take place. If I've eaten a good meal, I won't crave snacks because my body will have what it needs.

Speaking of which, breakfast is calling...