April Fools

Nothing very foolish about today. It was in the 70s, sunny, gorgeous, and I'm still sick. Seems that's all I talk about on this blog. That and how shitty I feel about everything all the time. That's why I haven't written in awhile. And see? I'm writing and so far all I've talked about is being sick and depressed.

So. There ya go.

Possible delay due to inclement shittiness.

My writing retreat is supposed to start tomorrow, but there are three things that impede my progress:

1. Freaking snow. I doubt they're plowed out up at the retreat place, though it is possible. Meantime, the snow keeps falling and falling and falling.
2. Proofreading. I'm still (STILL) proofing a book for that small press and it's taking forEVAR.
3. Speeding ticket. I have to meet with the Assistant D.A. of East Scuttlefuck, NY to cop a plea to my Halloween speeding ticket.

I plan to stay up late proofing and will get up early to proof some more. I will start my own work as soon as that's done, regardless of whether or not I can get into the retreat house tomorrow.

No worries; I will make it happen! By the way, I hear Mercury is in retrograde, to which I say, "Mercury can go screw itself!"

YATTA! ("I did it!")

Planes + Ice = Suckitude

I spent a wonderful weekend on the Cape with Racheeee, which ended in a horrid day of travel during a Nor'easter. Morning flight was canceled, afternoon flights delayed. Sat on a tiny freezing cold prop plane at La Guardia for freaking forever while they had to jump the batteries (I kid you not) and then wait in line to be de-iced.

But the weekend itself was layered with beach, waves, memories, laughter, fun, dreaming for the future, wonderful food, and Wellfleet Oysters! Took a lot of video on the Flip, which I need to get onto a DVD for Rachel. Thank you so much Rachel! I look forward to our future projects and collaborations!

End of Winter Break

Today is the last official day of winter break at the college I teach for. The semester starts tomorrow, but it's a holiday due to MLK day. Why don't they just begin the semester on Tuesday? It's weird. But anyway, the long and short of it is that I have to get on the ball and finish prepping for the semester.

Of course in addition to that, I am now responsible for cleaning/packing/moving Mom's stuff (again). By end of this week, no less. Hey, I know it has to get done and I am happy that I am here to help her (otherwise I don't what would happen). But still, the timing is complete shit. It's no one's fault, it's just the way it is, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it (as usual).

Today I'm focusing on getting laundry done, finishing the text for my community college class, and watching some of the short films I have to sift through and decide which ones to use for that class. And then write the syllabus. Hopefully I'll get a visit in with Mom, too. Also gotta pay the bills and then make a few personal calls for Mom, to let people know what's going on (who aren't on email). Times like these I wish I had a secretary!

Mom's got a bad chest cold - I'm just praying it doesn't become pneumonia. I heard from a friend of mine whose mother is in the same nursing home that her mom has pneumonia and went to the hospital, but the hospital sent her back because apparently they have a new super-resistant strain of pneumonia going around. Great.

And you know what? I really fucking hate the cold. There I said it. I want to live in So. California. Maybe one day we'll get there, if things tank here in Upstate NY. I'd miss my friends and family, but I want to live near the ocean in a climate that rarely dips below 50 degrees. Not to mention the benefit of being a screenwriter. *sigh* Meantime, I have to rely on indoor water parks to get me through the winters.

Day 5 - Pt. 1

It doesn't get any better than this - the sky is clear, the sun is shining in the east, the snow is like diamonds, and I'm sitting in front of a huge, glorious window with my delicious dark coffee and ginger snaps.

Every morning on the way here, the radio man says it's partly cloudy, but the sky has been crisp and blue every morning. The clouds roll in usually around 10 a.m.

This morning it was -3 on the drive in, with a wind child of -15.

Happy Autumn

Yesterday was, of course, the Autumnal Equinox. The days are now shorter than the nights, and will continue to dwindle. I'm fine with this. What I dread is the turning back of the clocks. I think we just need to stay on the daylight savings schedule all year round. It doeesn't need to be dark out at 5:00, people! As someone who does major battle with seasonal depression, I don't see the need for it being dark from 5:00 p.m. to 7:30 A.M. the next day. I needs me some sunlight! My doctor prescribed a light box for me this winter, which I will use and see if it does any damned good. Darkness + Cold + A drafty apartment = a very unhappy Ms. Bizarro.

But we still have a good month/month and a half of daylight savings and beautiful fall weather. I am going to Massachusetts next month for a whirlwind visit to the old hometown, to see JET's Baby Girl (she has her C-section scheduled for this Friday) and possibly my grand niece, who is due Nov 3 but who may well come early, seeing as how her brother Owen made a Preemie appearance. We shall see... the drive out will be beautiful, and I've booked a family-owned motel room that I've stayed at before (it's wicked cheap - $65/night compared to $130 at the chains just up the road). And of course, I will visit the ocean... all bundled up with a large cup of Marylou's black coffee. Heaven.

I am feeling better after last week's Virus That Ate My Brain, but still my sinuses are holding on to every drop of gunk they can. Can I just tell you that nasal irrigation is the weirdest thing I've ever done? It has helped, I think, but it wasn't pleasant. Still, I recommend it to anyone with sinusitis.

Dammit I sound like an old person complaining about my ailments. I pray that I never become so self-involved that all I ever talk about is what's wrong with me. So many old people come into the church office where I work, and when you ask them how they are (a fairly perfunctory question, mind you), they spew forth a litany of complaints. Meanwhile I just nod and make sounds that are supposed to be read as sympathetic, while I continue doing my work. I do feel bad for these people, though. For some of them, the church is the center of their social life as well as their spiritual life, and without it they'd have no one to talk to.

Speaking of the chorch job, I need to get ready for work. Blech. I want to curl up with a blanket and a book and stay home, but no can doing.

Pet Peeve

Know what I hate? I hate it when there's an electrical storm with crazy lightning and cracking thunder that shakes your bones and your window panes, and some fool stands on the front porch and says, "I love thunderstorms" while I'm cowering under the couch.

Last Friday we lived through a serious T'storm huddled in our tent, wind threatening our rain fly, and lightning striking close enough that I could smell it in the air, and some people still had the nerve to claim the next day, "Oh, what an awesome storm. Wasn't it awesome? I love thunderstorms."

*SMACK*

Dude, you could have died last night! Any one of us could have been zapped in our tents!

People who claim to love massive T'storms maybe need some electro shock therapy to get it out of their system.

Me, I feel the electricity in the air, which really freaks me out, and I can't deal with loud noises (unless I make them). What I happen to think cool are the clouds that make a thunder storm. The clouds are awesome to ponder. But I just want them to keep going.

And that is all.

It's Pretty Darned Hot

I just spent a good 10 minutes asking questions that could be answered by floating the cursor over the "replay" link at the end of "War of the Worlds in 30 Seconds and Re-enacted by Bunnies."

Today was HHH. Hazy, Hot, and too Humidity.

What to do...

Today it is a glorious 55 degrees and full sunshine. It should be in the 50s/upper 40s most of the week. My question: do I take the plastic off the office window so's I can open it and get some fresh air into this cave? Bizarro would answer with a resounding "no" even if it were the middle of June and 70 outside. I am just not sure. Last year we had a freak snowstorm in April, so even though it's gorgeous today, who knows what 2 weeks from now will feel like.

*Sigh*

Tell me again why I live in the Northeast?

I made it thruuuuuuu the rain...

I kept myself together...

Barry Manilow said it best, I'm afraid.

My observation class went pretty well, I think. I didn't tank, at least. The observers were very gracious and relaxed, which helped put me at ease. But I was still pretty ramped up with adrenaline and was maybe a bit over the top. Still, with the crummy gray rainy day, the students were low energy, so my antics were probably a good thing. Anyway, we'll see what the fallout is.

Now that the mid-semester crunch is over, I can take a breath and get ready for the weekend. I'm doing laundry now, which is way overdue, and then I think for the rest of tonight I'll work on a story I've been piecing together. I don't want to say more about it until I get some response from a small publisher I've already contacted. I'm sure they'll want me to go through an agent, but I'm hoping that I can at least hook their interest and then can find an agent who will want to represent me, given the spark of interest. We'll see... it's a bit ballsy, but what've I got to lose? Nuthin.

By the way, I know spring is in the air despite the dismal weather - the birds are singing and that makes my heart sing, too.

Denied!

The shitty weather is keeping us home-bound today instead of heading off to Cleveland. We're planning to leave at the ass-crack of dawn tomorrow (Sunday) instead of this afternoon. I guess it's actually for the best anyway, as we both have stuff to do and this way we don't have to be quite as rushed.

Two weekends ago I ordered a DVD set of Space: 1999's first season (the first 6 episodes - they were all I could afford). I am still waiting for them to arrive and every day that I check the mail and find them absent I get more and more aggravated. Supposedly they were shipped from NYC and sent via U.S. mail. I can't believe they haven't arrived after 2 weeks (10 business days).

Meantime, I've found this hilarious parody of LOLcats: LOLthulu.

My craving for SF media is unrelenting. I have to wait until next month for Battlestar Galactica, and god knows when Doctor Who will start up (and I heard a very disturbing rumor that David Tennant will be leaving after next season), and of course I haven't seen a SF movie in forever. Wanted to see Cloverfield, but didn't. I want to see something that will blow me away and have me obsessed for weeks. Where has all the good SF gone?

White Out

An hour ago the sun was shining. Now the snow and wind are creating hazardous white out conditions. I'm looking out onto the patio and I can't believe how much snow has fallen in the last 20 minutes.

Last night I had a much-needed night out. PMP, SMJ, a friend of SMJ's, Bizarro and I all went to our local drinking and eating establishment for some libations and victuals. Then SMJ, PMP and I went to see a band from Philly play at one of the local college pubs. The band was a lot of fun, and I finally got home around 1:30. Damn. I remember nights in Korea when I didn't get in until 3 a.m., and that was every week. These days, staying out til 1:30 in the a.m. is a once or twice a year bender.

I'm glad I got it out of my system because I start my 8 minutes in the morning tomorrow (he recommends beginning on a Monday because Sundays are a day off). Today I'll head up to the exercise room after I get some work done here in the apt.

Can't believe we're heading into Week 4 of the semester already! Despite the raging snow squall outside, yesterday morning I sensed a hint of spring. Something in the quality of the air, the birds singing, the energy vibrating in the air.

Next year I have to take some time to go to Florida or someplace warm in the winter. I can't stand week after week of this snow, grey skies and cold temps. The next two days are supposed to have below zero wind chills. WTF??

Imbolc

This pretty much sums up January '08 in the health and fitness department:


moar funny pictures


February 2 is a pagan/Celtic day for ritual, known as Imbolc. It heralds the impending return of spring. Deep within the earth, things are a-stirring and change is a-coming. Even though it's shitty and icy and slushy out there right now, believe it or not, Spring is around the corner. I'm sure there's more to the holiday than that, but as a Buddhist that's pretty much all I care about. Back when I was a paganish person, I'd do up all the quarter and cross-quarter days (Equinoxes, Solstices, and the ones in between, such as Imbolc). These days Imbolc is more of a ritual for sanity than anything else - to know that winter is finite and the days of sun are indeed returning.

Indeed.

Oh yeah, Go Pats. I'm from Boston so I have to say that, even though I don't give a hoot about football.

Monday, Monday, Can't Trust That Day...

I always did like the Mamas and the Papas.

It's a snowy rainy messy dingy day out there. The kind of day that makes you want to stay in. I have to go to the post office at some point to mail my grant application, though.

Aside from that I'm spending the day at the computer writing. Now, armed with my first cuppa joe of the day, I am ready to git 'er done. It's the last week of break, and I start my new job at the end of the week, so I have to make the most of the next 3 days.

A bit of news on my documentary - for some reason the transfer from miniDV to DVD didn't come out, so I will have them redone. This puts my editing schedule off but it can't be helped. C'est la guerre.

And now this:



I went to the liberry yesterday and got the DVD set of Captain Scarlett.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good: Two days of partly-sunny skies and near-60 degree temps are doing wonders for my mood.

The Bad: Still facing the funeral for my Uncle Bill this Saturday; and also found out I didn't make it into the semi-finalist round for one of the screenplay competitions I entered last fall.

The Ugly: My writing retreat is canceled because the people at the artists' colony didn't have their shit together and ungraciously bowed out when I called to confirm yesterday. Also, the director of the program at Out of Town University refused to write me a letter of recommendation because she supposedly didn't feel she knew me well enough after only one semester. Never mind that I drove and hour and a half through thick fog, pelting rain, and treacherous snow storm and was never late once for class or a student conference. Never mind that I drove my ass that hour and a half with 2nd degree burns on my face, in pain and exhausted. And the list goes on. I got this news only a few minutes before I found out about Uncle Bill, so last Thursday had to have been just about the suckiest day in awhile.

I know I'm supposed to be leaving the past behind and moving on, but these little tendrils of the total SUCK that was the last half 2007 are still reaching out to trip me up and drag me back into the muck. The Muck of Suck.

Yesterday I was pretty goddamned depressed after the artist colony debacle, but Salty Miss Jill came to my rescue and took me to lunch at our local Chinese/Vietnamese place.

I am working on making the best of the time I have left this break, and not losing any sleep over the assholes that continue to dominate the landscape. Assholes will always be there in some form or another, as will bad luck and tough breaks. Gotta shake their dust from my boots and keep a'goin'. But it ain't easy.

Picking up the pieces

I'm back home after the last few days at Momazoo's. I am utterly exhausted in every way. And I have a shitload of stuff to do here - take down the xmas tree, do piles of laundry, and get some exercise in.

Mom is doing okay; she thanked us a dozen times for being there and helping her through the worst of the shock and grief. My mom tends to hold in her anxiety and unhappy feelings, but I encouraged her not to do that, that it wasn't healthy to repress all that stuff. I reminded her how close we are and that all she needs to do is pick up the phone if she's feeling really down. Today she went to church as per usual and will have her "ladies" over for coffee and cake in the afternoon as she normally does on Sunday. I think the routine and company will be good for her. Yesterday I drove her and one of her friends who lives in the same building over to their beauty salon to get their hair done. I think it was good for her to get out of the house and be around other people.

And of course, as Salty Miss Jill has reminded me, I need to take care of myself, too. I'm not sure how to do that. I have crap to get done that has piled up over the last 4 days, and I gotta get it done. But I will feel good when I get the boring stuff done today and can start logging my Korea video tomorrow. I will have 2 full days of writing retreat before I'll have to leave for the funeral, and then another 2.5 days of retreat after that. So that's something (and remember folks, there's a jacuzzi tub at the retreat house!). Nothing better come in the way of me and that retreat, or there will be HELL TO PAY!

And can I just say that we have had grey skies for 4 days straight and there is no sun in the forecast for the next few days? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I hate living in this god-forsaken sun-less place. I need to be able to spend winters in some lovely warm place and come back in spring. How can I make that happen? If you have any suggestions, please leave them here.

Okay, now I have to get to all the crap that awaits me. I am going to open my shrine and meditate before I get started.

Balls Cold

It is -2 outside according to our local rag website. According to weather.com, it's -1 and FEELS like -14. Jeezus H. Keerist on a pogo stick. I gotta drive to Momazoo's this morning to take her to the hospital for yet another procedure for her dialysis fistula thingie.

Have I mentioned that it's BALLS COLD outside?

When it rains...

It pours, as the saying goes, and right now it's pouring (figuratively and literally).

A quick recap of the last few days:

1. Had my observation at Out-of-Town-University on Thursday. It went something like this:


(thanks to B. for this vid)

The thing about my observation is that she didn't give me any positive feedback, other than a general acknowledgement that it didn't suck completely. "Overall it was fine and you were in control of the class, but I'd just like to point a couple things out." This statement was followed by 40 minutes of criticism and suggestions, not all of which were even helpful.

2. After that, I drove to Boston for a fun if hectic weekend. The main event was JEB's wedding, for which I did a reading (and did a fine job, I must say). JEB - or rather now I guess I need to call her JET - was resplendent. She was quite stressed out the night of the rehearsal and dinner, which she came to call The Freakshow. But I reminded her that a bad dress rehearsal portends a fabulous performance. The wedding was gorgeous and simple, a Catholic Mass, and the reception was perfect. JET looked like the happiest girl in the world, and so did her new husband. Only, you know, he's a boy. And stuff.

3. Also got to visit another childhood friend of mine and his family. They have done very well for themselves; their house is bigger than our apartment building and the parking lot together.

4. Got to videotape Owen taking a few wobbly steps, and also had some good 1:1 time with my nephew during my visit to their house. My niece is so sweet; she baked and frosted brownies and made us divine coffee for dessert.

5. A bit of sad news - my sister-in-law from my bro's first marriage has COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). We were all supposed to have dinner together on Sunday, but she had to cancel because she wasn't feeling good. She's been a heavy smoker since her teenage years, and now she's in her 50s.

6. Raced back to NY yesterday and had to pull my head together to prep for this morning's class at Out-of-Town-University, which I was dreading. But it did go well; I'm trying a couple new things after my disappointing observation feedback.

I've decided for the remainder of the semester at OOTUniversity, I am focusing on two things and two things only: 1. How to help my students succeed and 2. What I can learn to make me a better teacher. I am not going to think about my supervisor, or the program, or the school, or the drive (although that will be difficult). This is about me and teaching, and nothing else.

And of course our beloved Red Sox are in the World Series, so there's hope for us all. It was exciting to watch those ALCS games with my brother. The night of the wedding, the DJ kept us up to date with the score, and the entire reception hall erupted in cheers every time the Sox scored another run. Good times! Whenever the Sox got a run and I'd call Bizarro to gloat, he'd answer his phone with either "Shut up, just shut up!" or "It's early, don't worry." So much for your little white towels, Cleveland!

Halloween is coming up; I have to figure out my costume. As if I don't have enough shit to do.

T'Storm Warningz

Central NY has been under severe thunderstorm warnings all afternoon, as well as tornado watches. There has been cell after cell moving through - it pours and we lose power for a few seconds, then the sun comes out, then ten minutes later the sky is black again. Supposedly there was a funnel cloud spotted somewhere to the north west of our area. You haven't experienced a tornado until you live through one in the mid-west, though. Jeesh. Scary sh*t.

Things are going well for the EFL doco. I bought my ticket to Seoul yesterday, and I've started contacting teachers through the ESL boards and through the recruiter (who has come through for me in this regard). All is proceeding as I had foreseen.

What day is it?

Don't worry, I'm not going start posting catz instead of actual blog entries.

All day today I've thought it's Friday, then I say "no silly, It's Thursday" but then I remember it IS Friday.

Missing time? Damned aliens, anyway.

This morning I heard from my recruiter again, and he's taken me up on my offer to be more involved with finding a summer camp to teach at. I sent him a few things I found here and there. Oh- got my passport yesterday. VERY swanky. Very patriotic with watermark images of bald eagles, totem poles, Mt. Rushmore, etc. You can tell the photo was taken in winter; my face is chubbier. I remember the day I had them taken. I was sick and feeling very wobbly.

I've also decided I need to be more entrepreneurial about finding a job here at home. I'm sending a query letter to the local community arts group to see if I can teach some classes in screenwriting and/or docu production. I've done it before at places like Boston Film/Video Foundation and Columbus Filmmakers' Consortium. I'll prolly send it off tomorrow.

It's hot as hell today. 93 degrees last I checked. Three days ago we were running around in sweaters and wellingtons for all the bastard cold rain.

I'm still waiting for Schadenfreude's (Mr. Club's Universe) "Friday is Conspiracy Day" post. Where is it? Wait, it IS Friday, right?