aaaand we're back

Semester nearly wrecked me. Just have grades to turn in and one more frakking "retreat" to attend, then it will be over. I've already begun working on summer projects, including prep for teaching at Hanyang University in Korea. Oh yeah, I spent hours last night and this morning searching for my passport, which I found in the same box I'd looked in four times, at least. I finally had the bright idea of lifting the see-through plastic box and looking through the bottom, and there it was, buried in all the crap I'd thrown in over the last 3 years.

And now this:


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I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today. I don't know if it's actual cold or simply exhaustion. Yesterday threw me for a loop. I was supposed to go to a retreat for work that was supposed to end at 1:00. My coworkers decided it should go until "whenever" but neglected to tell me this, so at 1:00 I was pumped to jump in my car and head back to civilization. We'd had our meeting at someone's lovely country house but godDAMN people, how do you live in the middle of BFE? I don't understand how you even get out of your f'ing driveway in winter! Anyway, imagine my embarrassed fury when I was informed that the others were heading back to campus to "finish" our retreat. WTF? No one bothered to apologize, but someone did have the presence of mind to admit "This is the worst-planned retreat, ever." Yeah. Something like that. All that is to say that what I'd planned for the rest of the day was thrown out the window, and I arrived home after 4:00 feeling like a piece of over-cooked spaghetti. I have a feeling that that, coupled with the extensive rip-apart-my-apartment search for the passport, has left me feeling less-than today.

Which is really inconvenient since tomorrow I am going to be time-keeping in the penalty box for the local roller derby league's bout. It's my debut, and I'm pissed that I am not feeling well. I can only hope and pray that all the remedies I've shoved down my pie-hole all day and a good night's sleep will mend me for tomorrow.

Will let you all know how it goes.

Nose plugs

Oh man has it been stinky in here. REEKING with my bad attitude. The spate of gorgeous weather has allowed me to open Window and Patio Door, thus creating a cross breeze that is helping to Get Out The Stink.

Well, so yeah I've been home sick all week, except that I haven't really been home sick all week. I stayed home from one job, the one with the most hours and the most frustrations, but I had to go in to do the other one, for which no one was available to cover me anyway. I taught those classes feeling feverish, woozey, and totally grumpy.

And now it's Friday, it's 80 degrees, and except for a brief visit to the store to pick up food and juice and echinacea and goldenseal in a pill, I've been parked on the couch, reading Becoming Madame Mao (totally absorbing, love it love it love it) and journaling EFT Choices set up phrases (or, MTT, since after a legal todo, EFT can no longer be used. MTT stands for Meridian Tapping Technique). I've also slept a lot.

The bottom line is, though, that I keep getting sick and I keep not being able to fend off the worst germs that come my way. What's up with that? Oh, I have Theories. I have many Theories.

And I know I shouldn't ask the question, but sometimes I do get irked when Good Things Happen to People Who Should Know Better. (Why do Good Things happen to People Who Should Know Better?) I mean really, it does irk me to see this going on in the world. But then I shrug it off and remind myself that just because someone gets to travel around the world doesn't mean she doesn't have problems.

Mmm so I think it's time for some kind of Vitamin C cocktail (minus the alcohol, unfortunately) that will enable my immune system to unfuck itself. If my sinuses don't start draining soon, I think they will pop out of my head and march on down to the neighborhood pub all on their own. And that would be a sight to see.

Here we go...

I am really quite peeved that I've caught another virus (cold). WTF? I'm doing everything right, I'm getting acupuncture to strengthen my immune system, and STILL I get sick. I've about had it with this body. I'm ready to trade it in for a better model. Sleeker, stronger, less weepy, and with working joints.

This is the last week of classes at both colleges, so I can't be out again. It's final script reading and grammar review time, respectively, and I need to be here for this work. I just need to make it through another week (with finals) and then I'll be on break.

Ahh winter break, that wonderful time where I get to catch up on sleep and writing, in which I don't get paid for a month. There will be no Xmas presents this year. There will be no sending out 50 xmas cards, either. My immediate family gets cards, and that's it. I'd rather call the people who are far away that I think about at the holidays.

I don't know how people with kids do it. I can barely keep myself running; I couldn't imagine having to be in charge of small human beings keeping their shit together as well. Especially in this day and age.

Okay, here's my list of things I want to do/see/eat in Cleveland approximately two weeks from now (in no particular order)

+ Cleveland Museum of Art
+ Caribou Coffee (to hang out and write)
+ Alesci's Italian Grocery and Deli - Capicola and sausage! (And can I just say I'm so fucking sick of the yokel-locals around here insisting on calling it "cappa-cola." Plebes.)
+ Christmas lights downtown
+ Visit my friend Pat H., one of the teachers from my trip to China in '04. That woman can DRINK!
+ Play Scrabble with my sister-in-law, so that the Moning (Tagalog for kitteh) can sit herself in the middle of the board and mess up the tiles.
+ Make lasagna for my Filipino family.
+ Go to one of the swanky bars on 6th and sing that Cleveland tourism video song "It's the perfect place if you're a douchebag."
+ Drive around the Flats and sing that other Cleveland tourism video song "The Flats look like a Scooby Doo ghost-town."

So I'm back in action, but still not completely healthy. I know there's a massive problem with my sinuses - I don't think that infection ever really went away. The fact that I can still hear my blood coursing through my left ear is a sign that not all is well. So is the fact that my head hurts like a wrecking ball is having a field day in there, and nothing seems to do any good.

I have an appointment with my acupuncturist on Friday and an appointment with my traditional give 'em antibiotics doctor in a couple weeks. I am going to start taking names if someone doesn't do something about my completely trashed immune system and morally bankrupt sinuses.

In other news... um... no not so much. More whining, which no one needs to hear.

I suppose I should give the update. I have swine flu. I am well aware of the irony of this fact. All those posts about the Four Pork Products of the Apocalypse. Well, I guess that was really SMJ's thang, not mine. I have been put in my place, it would seem.



Courtesy of Synthstuff.com

If the shoe fits, burn it

Still sickly and not at all happy about it. What is going on with me that I have been so sick lately? I can't believe it's just a coincidence. Something has slammed my immune system. Grief? Sorrow? Stress?

Some good news in the midst of that, though, is a 2-hour telephone meeting I had with a manager today to develop a couple scripts. Even though I sounded like a frog, the meeting went extremely well. She liked the sci fi I'd written and gave me some really great notes going into the next draft. She's also interested in my other ideas, so when I've got those drafts ready I'll send them along, too. I like their approach to forming relationships and cultivating partnerships with their writers and filmmakers. This is very heartening. I'm making things happen, at long last.

Now if I can just reattach my immune system I'll be all set.

Home Sick

Slight fever and raw throat. Watching A Haunting and UFO Hunters all day, and trolling hte internets.


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It's Getting Better All the Time

As I'd thought, I do indeed have a sinus infection and with the proper drugs I am on my way to a full recovery. Today going back to work, finally. My little students - I miss them.

We're headed to Cleveland tomorrow to visit the in-laws and take a much-needed break (okay not counting my 3 days home sick which didn't feel like a break). I would like to try to enjoy myself this weekend. Our favorite spots: Half-Priced Books, Caribou Coffee, Microcenter, Marshalls. Things we can't get here. I'd also love to hit up the Cleveland Museum of Art, which was closed for renovations last time we tried to go.

Oops time to get ready for bein' a teacher.

Sickly

I've been home sick for 3 days. I think it's a sinus infection and I do have a doctor's appointment at 4:00. I figure, if my left ear hurts and I can hear my blood stream going whoosh whoosh whoosh - that's bad, right? I'm hoping this is a sinus infection so I can take some pills and make it better real quick-like. After the high of last weekend, this week has dipped to a crushing low whereby I've achieved nothing but a certain over-familiarity with the couch.

I have read and emailed feedback on student scripts, and even managed to do some of my own revision last night before I fell into a dead trance-sleep and then woke up feeling worse this morning. No more worky for me.

Iz haz a kold

It occurs to me after snuffling and blowing my nose for the umteenth time this morning that my congestion and the overall fatigue I've felt for a couple days might not be a coincidence. I might just have a cold. Gawd knows everyone else around town has one, or is just getting over one, or is just getting one. I pray that I don't end up with the stomach bug that I've heard tales of. Ew. Anything but the stomach. A runny nose I can handle. Other things... not so much.

I have work to do today which I don't feel like doing. And PMP has her public presentation this afternoon, which I am hoping to make if this kold doesn't increase in snot buckets or sleeping mode. I have to take the bus because there's no place to park on campus without a special pass, which of course I do not have.

It is Friday. I have a runny nose.

A time for everything...

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When do I quit my desk job at the chorch? Now? How bout now?


Okay, now?


*sigh*

I'm stressing over this big time. I want to do right by them, but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. It's driving me absolutely bonkers and I hate it. Every time something is mentioned about "next year" or how "we're partners" or some such thing, I feel horrendously guilty (clearly the Catholic Church has left its mark on me). I have been trying to figure this out for days and it's taking up way too much time and brain space. If these people were a bunch of wheezes, I wouldn't be having this dilemma; my boss is a great boss and I know how much I will be letting her down, and what a nightmare it will be for her to train someone up again (after a string of part timers and losers before me). That's why on one hand I just want to get it over with. But of course if I give notice too soon, there's nothing to stop them from saying "we won't be needing you after Oct. 31st," and then I'm screwed for a 2nd job in November and most of December. See my quandry? Meantime, my cash cow school can't give me a contract until Thanksgiving because that's their policy (which means although it's unlikely for my sections to be cancelled, there's always an outside chance). Well, there's still the community college to weigh in. They were very keen on me this semester; I'm hoping they won't have cooled off for next semester and beyond.

URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG! I just want this settled once and for all!

But in a stroke of good fortune, Momazoo will be relocating to her assisted living place the first week of November! Turns out a resident is moving into independent living, so Mom gets her spot! Woo hoo! At least there's SOMETHING finally nailed down. Of course I have a lot to do for her and for this move in the next month, but I know we'll get it done.

I'm on an antibiotic for what turned out to be a sinus infection. Ew. No wonder I felt like shit for so long. One day on the drug and I'm feeling better already. Thank keee-rist!

Happy Autumn

Yesterday was, of course, the Autumnal Equinox. The days are now shorter than the nights, and will continue to dwindle. I'm fine with this. What I dread is the turning back of the clocks. I think we just need to stay on the daylight savings schedule all year round. It doeesn't need to be dark out at 5:00, people! As someone who does major battle with seasonal depression, I don't see the need for it being dark from 5:00 p.m. to 7:30 A.M. the next day. I needs me some sunlight! My doctor prescribed a light box for me this winter, which I will use and see if it does any damned good. Darkness + Cold + A drafty apartment = a very unhappy Ms. Bizarro.

But we still have a good month/month and a half of daylight savings and beautiful fall weather. I am going to Massachusetts next month for a whirlwind visit to the old hometown, to see JET's Baby Girl (she has her C-section scheduled for this Friday) and possibly my grand niece, who is due Nov 3 but who may well come early, seeing as how her brother Owen made a Preemie appearance. We shall see... the drive out will be beautiful, and I've booked a family-owned motel room that I've stayed at before (it's wicked cheap - $65/night compared to $130 at the chains just up the road). And of course, I will visit the ocean... all bundled up with a large cup of Marylou's black coffee. Heaven.

I am feeling better after last week's Virus That Ate My Brain, but still my sinuses are holding on to every drop of gunk they can. Can I just tell you that nasal irrigation is the weirdest thing I've ever done? It has helped, I think, but it wasn't pleasant. Still, I recommend it to anyone with sinusitis.

Dammit I sound like an old person complaining about my ailments. I pray that I never become so self-involved that all I ever talk about is what's wrong with me. So many old people come into the church office where I work, and when you ask them how they are (a fairly perfunctory question, mind you), they spew forth a litany of complaints. Meanwhile I just nod and make sounds that are supposed to be read as sympathetic, while I continue doing my work. I do feel bad for these people, though. For some of them, the church is the center of their social life as well as their spiritual life, and without it they'd have no one to talk to.

Speaking of the chorch job, I need to get ready for work. Blech. I want to curl up with a blanket and a book and stay home, but no can doing.

Day 3 of being on the couch. This virus is kicking my ass. I did get up and take a shower, eat breakfast, fix a cup of tea, in hopes that it would give me the push to get to work, at least for a couple hours, but no go. My sinuses hurt like a muther and I can't stop sneezing or blowing my nose. And I'm just tired and miserable. So. Here I am. Another beautiful Indian summer day and I'm stuck on the godsdamn couch.

At least there's food in the house. And I have plenty of cold drugs, Riccola and hard-ass lozenges, 2 new boxes of soft tissue, and a full bottle of Tylenol. And of course, mounds of tea. Irish Breakfast for the morning, Echinacea Cold Care for the afternoon.

I finished writing that Space: 1999 novella I started in February. It just needs some technobabble added to it, and I have a source for that (a guy into the tech stuff for sci fi and 1999 in particular. His site for 1999 is on the sidebar.)

I know it's just a piece of fan fiction, but it was a great experience for me, to write something that long beginning to end, and go through the revision process. It helped me to apply screenwriting to prose writing - especially dialogue. In screenwriting there's a mantra: cut, cut, cut. Even when you think it's "just right," you cut. Too much talky dialogue not only makes a shitty movie, it makes a boring read. Too much over-explanation, or driving home the same idea over and over, or, worst of all, relentless exposition, will suck the marrow out of any story. So this was a great experience for me to not let that happen to my story. At least, I think I accomplished that much. I essentially wrote something the length and breadth of an episode (the concept and story are mine) but without the "cut to commercial cliff-hangers with ominous horns."

As to my sci fi script - I have temporarily suspended slogging through notes in a final revision. I got swept up in my other script - the 1950s beauty school story - which is now giving me a problem in the second act. I have some plot points to hammer out before I continue writing.

I've been reading THE DANCE OF 17 LIVES, about His Holiness the Karmapa (spiritual leader of the Karma Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism). It's a great read; well-researched and well-written, though it can be disappointing to read about how these high lamas, rinpoches and tulkus are just like the rest of us - human with human failings. The book tells how Tibetans never had that kind of idealistic view of the lamas; Westerners applied that impossible state of perfection to their gurus and masters when Buddhism was first introduced to the West in the 60s. Damned hippies.

I've expended all my "sitting upright in a vertical position" energy for now. Must lie down. More later.

Sick on the couch

Today was my 2nd day on the couch. I watched a 2-hour program on the history of UFOs in America. I remember when the History channel was all about Nazi battle strategy and tanks. Now we have UFOs, USOs (Unidentified SUBMERGED Objects, for those who don't follow such things), and of course, cryptozoology (how many "o"s in that word? Anyway it's the study of mythical creatures like Nessie and Bigfoot).

I did learn something from the UFO show, though. I learned that the secret air force stuff out at White Sands began with a crop of German scientists who were brought here after WWII to divulge all their rocket science and propulsion research. Basically Area 51 started out as a research facility for a bunch of ex-Nazis to help us build the space program. So in one way, you could argue that Adolf Hitler funded (albeit unwittingly) the U.S. space program. Sweet.

I am facing a trip to the grocery store this evening, which I am not looking forward to, because I am about out of everything necessary for the sick or the healthy, including tissues (been using a roll of T.P.) and non-drowsy sinus stuff.

Sicko

It's confirmed: I have indeed drifted into the arena of the unwell. Came home directly after class today and have been horizontal on the futon save for going to the can and checking email 2 times. I need to get back to the futon now, as a matter of fact.

Plus, I am hungry. FEED ME!

Bonus - I got to see Sylvia Browne on Montel.

I am really feeling the burn out, in fact I think I'm coming down with something. That or it's a severe case of PMS. I've had a headache for 2 days, and now I'm feeling woozy and achey and sleepy and sore throaty.

I have ordered Chinese food from our favorite place and I can't wait for my won ton soup and Amazing Chicken. I need spicy to knock it out of me! Bizarro of course had me order his usual (PMP, you can recite this by heart, can't you?): chicken wings and shrimp lo mein.

So today one of the teachers approached me and asked if I would take his students for our class on Thursday, since he has to take his mom to the hospital for a procedure. I said no problem, because they're all watching the same movie tomorrow night and Thursday's class will be deconstructing the film (i.e. pretty much the same lesson plans all around). I really don't mind doing this at all, except for the fact that my room is quite small and crowded already, so I'm not sure how we'll manage the space. But we'll manage.

I have to say the overall collegiality of my colleagues in this summer program has been outstanding. It makes things soooooooooo much easier when you feel like you're part of a team and it's not forced down your gob WE ARE A TEAM so go take the Myers-Briggs and report back to the TEAM so that we can pick apart your personality. Oooops, did I just go there? Yes, I believe I did. Well, as I think I've said before, it's just really affirming to have such a positive experience teaching ESL after the last two debacles since moving to New York State.

My only complaint, and it's a mild one at that, is that sometimes the communication from the top down is a bit confusing. I showed up 30 minutes late to a meeting last Friday because I was apparently the only one who didn't get the memo that our meeting was now at 11:30 instead of 12:00. No body cared and I wasn't in any trouble, but I hate being late and I felt like a schmuck. There was some similar confusion as to the place of the movie we're watching tomorrow night, but I was smart this time and followed up more aggressively to make sure I knew what was going on. Next week there is a little ceremony where the students get their certificates for completing the program, and it was announced to us late last week that we teachers had to go. This happens to be the night before our last day, which is also the night before our big trip to the Live Adventure, which means it's a crazy night of packing, last minute Target runs, and for me, some specific henna tatoos for my character. God knows how much longer I will be on campus with this shindig I have to attend. I mentioned politely to my boss that it would be helpful to have these things scheduled and communicated early on and she agreed (it wasn't coming from her, but from the people who run the entire summer college program, of which we are one sliver).

Anyway, other than those minor annoyances, I am so pleased with how the summer is going. In fact, I would love to do this every summer, but with the new hours at the chorch job, I don't know if it will be possible.

Speaking of the chorch job, I am nervous. If they can't give me a significant increase in pay starting in January, I am screwed for money and will have to find something else to do. A full time job needs to pay the bills; if it doesn't, then I have to go elsewhere. It's one of those stressful items I have had to keep on the back burner, but I keep lifting the lid to check on it and that only seems to make it worse. I want to get some real idea of what I will be doing - as usual - so that I'm not making it up on the fly.

Where's that Chinese food?

Recovery

It's been a few days since my last post. I'm happy to say that Bizarro and I are both feeling much better. Still a little tired, with congestion lingering, but mostly able to go about our business. I taught yesterday but it was rough, especially since I held a 2 hour class. Then I went to the grocery store and that about tuckered me right out. I spent the rest of the evening on the couch and then slept in late again today. Sleep is the only thing that really helps.

It's snowing like a muthuh out there. I really am so freaking tired of winter. I just spent some time perusing the Farmer's Almanac online, and March should be a lot milder with more rain than snow. I've said it before and I'll say it again; it's not so much the precipitation that bugs me, it's having days on end without seeing the sun. Of course we had 4 days of sun while I was sick, and now that I'm better, we get dumped on with snow. At least yesterday was pleasant. I know, I know, how stupid is it to complain about weather, which you can't change? My husband keeps griping about "Where are the weather control satellites we should have by now?" and I keep griping about "Why don't I live in California or Florida?"

In other news, I will be starting on my Korea documentary this week - watching the footage. And I've completed a good draft of my sci fi screenplay that I am now reading through and editing. I need to have a set of eyes besides mine read it and give me some feedback. I tried this once before but the people I gave it to lost it and never responded. That was rather annoying.

Well I have to get ready for my Korean lesson. I think this is the last one for awhile. I have too many other things to do and Tuesday is the only day I'm not at work during the week. I have other priorities, esp. with the busy month of March coming up.

Still Sick

I'm getting a little worried. My sinuses are still packed with goo and my right eyeball hurts. I'm still woozey and I slept until 2:00 today.

Unbelievable...

Bizarro and I just got calls from the doctor's office. Apparently we DON'T have flu. We have some respiratory virus. Gross.

Flu Day 3

Okay, I am so done with this. Today Bizarro and I went to the doctor and she said, believe it or not, that we have the flu. My, my. And to make sure, she took a flu swab, which entails sticking a thingie up the nose into the throat. It's pretty horrific and not at all what sick person needs to feel better.

I'm on drugs and am home from work through Thursday. Friday we'll have to see. The real bummer is missing class tomorrow, which is a 2 hour 15 min. class that I will have to make up. Shit. That's not fun.

No fun is to be had. Except i'm eating popsicles like there's no tomorrow.

PMP - just as well you're not around this weekend cause if I'm feeling better, I have so much work to do that I've missed out on for the last few days.

Okay. Back to stupid TV. Oh, and I just accidentally OD'd on my expectorant. Was supposed to take only 1 pill, and I took 2. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.