A very important day

Today is the day that PMP marries the love of her life, TMH. Bizarro and I are prepared to get all spiffed up for the big event, and party the night away with the newlyweds and their family and friends.

Unfortunately, I've managed to contract yet another head cold from sickly students who insist on coming to class with drippy noses. We didn't attend the cocktail welcome last night, which was a rotten shame, but I figured it was better to stay in for the night and try to feel better for the actual blessed event.

But all that is unimportant in the face of the momentous occasion that today brings. PMP has been in Boston since the end of May, living with TMH, but now starts the chapter of being in society as husband and wife, and all the wonderful, unexpected, joyous, complicated things that entails (hey, I'm a realist!). It also begins the state of creating what marriage means to THEM, as opposed to their families, friends, or the constructs of society. I am so pleased that we can celebrate their union with them today, and I wish them both the best in their new life together.

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Tell me about it...

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Get your laffs

These lists have made my week much funnier:

Passive aggressive office kitchen notes.

Dan Brown's 20 Worst Sentences (or, why Dan Brown sucks as a writer).

Enjoy~

5 Pet Peeves

1. People being flaky. Saying they'll do something or be somewhere and then "forgetting" or sleeping or double booking themselves and then letting me down. This includes students who ask for an appointment, then blow it off or show up 5 minutes before my office hour is over and I'm ready to go home. Of course we're all inclined to do this once in a while but for some people it's a way of life. It annoys me. I despise having my time taken for granted.

2. People hogging the copier at work, standing there leafing through their text book trying to figure out which pages to copy. Figure it out first, mark the pages, then get in line with the rest of us.

3. Manicurists who have cigarette burn scars on their forearms and tats peeking out from under a shirt unbuttoned down past their chest. I'm pretty sure the guy I had the other day is in some Vietnamese gang. It was very creepy. He wasn't very nice. I didn't tip him.

4. Students blaming technology for their unpreparedness. How convenient. ~F~

5. People driving 45 in a 55, on a 2-lane, double solid-line country highway. Here in the Empire State we pay exorbitant taxes so we can have such smoothly paved roads. Why do you insist on driving as if it were still a one-lane wagon trail? Some of us actually care about getting to where we're going, so pull over and let me pass.


Just sayin'.

Okay fine; you need me to get academic on your ass, I will.

PRI interviewed Diablo Cody, mastermind of "Jennifer's Body," and I would just like to poke some gaping, bleeding holes in her b.s.

From the transcript:

The theme of 'Jennifer's Body,' said Cody, is about the horror of being a teenager, "A person who is under the influence of hormones, and jealousy and society, is by nature combustible and scary and unpredictable, and I think anybody who's ever lived with a teenager knows this to be true.

But aren't most teen-horror movies about these same themes? How is this any different from any other teen-horror flick?

The dynamics of friendship between teenage girls, which was explored in the humorously dark 1980s movie "Heathers," is at the core of "Jennifer's Body."

and

"Heathers" had a big impact on Cody -- she called it life-changing, "It influences my entire life and my entire career path, and everything that I do -- it's like gospel.

"Heathers" did it right; it was genius, it was superlative. So stop trying to do what's already been done! And stop trying to convince me that because it has some kind of manufactured post-feminist tinge to it, it's worth my time!

Said Cody about her own film, "The germ of the plot ... is about the two girls and the relationship between them, and the fact that they had this friendship that went all the way back to childhood, but had now turned toxic."

Okay, fine... but I didn't care a whit about either character. There was so much exposition, and so much attention paid to being ironic (a hallmark of today's hipsters), that the characters were flat and unexciting. Yawn. It became a standard, totally predictable horror movie with empty characters and little to care about. The expository flashes behind the end credits were an enormous let-down. If you're going to put us through all this agonizing, first-person voice-over so that we can try to give a crap about the main character, and then you insist on dragging us through the inevitable battle in Act III*, at least let us see her final act of contrition, the culmination of her story.

Two hours of my life I'll never get back. Gone for good. That's the real horror story.

*BTW, how did breaking the locket have any effect on the demon-possessed Jennifer at that point? Based on the mythology used in the screenplay, it shouldn't have!

WANT

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Dilly Bar from DQ. A part of my childhood.

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"Jennifer's Bore-dy"

This is what one review had to say about Diablo Cody's latest cinematic work:

Still, the movie introduces a little rrriot grrrl-y feminism to a genre that for too long has been predicated on female victimization. Kusama ("Girlfight") handles the structural imperatives with solid timing and occasional panache. And between all the compulsive punning and look-at-me snarkitude, Cody manages to create moments of genuine humor.

To which I say: horseshit. This movie sucked. I want those 2 hours back. I feel awful that my husband paid $7.50 for my ticket to see this "it's been done, and it's been done better" horror-wannabe flick that doesn't even make me remember how much I hated high school. Oh yeah, it's THAT BORING.

As much as I adored "Juno," I hated "Jennifer's Body." That'll teach me to go see a matinee on a gorgeous sunny day in September when I should've been on my patio with a tropical drinkie-poo and a book. Humph.

The sweet smell of success...

Today I was offered a 26-hour-per-week, permanent/renewable position as a Writing Tutor at the community college where I'm teaching the remedial writing class. The position is wonderful, the pay is reasonable, and I like the two people I'd be working with/for. Since it's tutoring with some administrative work, there will be no take-home work, which is good for my writing. This opportunity is the residual of the interviews I had in May and June for the Writing Center Coordinator position. Apparently they were sufficiently impressed with me, to the point where they said they wanted "to get me before anyone else could." That is a direct quote.

I start in January, and I will have summers off so I can go teach in Korea or where ever. An opportunity to teach screenwriting in Korea next summer has opened up, so I'm trying to make that work, but if not, I already have an offer to teach an ESL class at the community college (though the hours are strenuous and pay is low for that - still it's better than washing the priests' undies).

I might actually be able to make a decent living next year! And that's good for everyone, because Bizarro wants to go back to school full time, and my combined salaries will allow that to happen.

I am grateful and ecstatic. I know my Mom would be so happy and proud of me.

Because sometimes that's all you need...

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Making Waves

My water aerobics class continues to rock and make me sore and happy. However, today I discovered something disconcerting. My posture. It blows. When did I get all hunched over? When did I contort my spine in such a way that I can't do my water exercises without straining my lower back and provoking pangs of fire in my lumbar region? At one point today I had to just stop. Yikes.

I need to be Rolfed. Or I need to find someone to purvey the Alexander Technique. Yoga helps but I think I need to re-learn how to stand and walk. Put my pelvis in its place.

Also, is it me or do I splash more than anyone else in the class? I think it might be due to the fact that I float. I mean, I just naturally float, so I'm always more at the surface of the water than other people who are down there where they belong. Either that or I'm a clod in the water, which I can't allow because after all that would interfere with my plans to become a synchronized swimmer.

Reloaded

After a bit of venting and an evening of figuring out the technology I need to use for class, I'm feeling a little less like a piss pot. I still have a mess of things to figure out, but at least if I can manage my classrooms this semester I'll have a sense of accomplishment. It's no easy task when students would rather examine their tongue rings in the reflection of their cell phones than learn something. But I am trying. I am trying.

Earlier this evening a neighbor somewhere in a nearby building was having very loud sex with the windows open. After about 30 minutes I yelled "close your fucking windows" and slammed my patio door shut. I'm sure they either didn't hear or didn't care. The upstairs neighbors have been stomping around since the afternoon. I swear to god it sounds like an elephant is dancing an Irish reel up there.

Trying to focus on the positive is difficult for me at this point. It feels fake and foolish to pour syrup on all the crappy stuff. Instead I need to get motivated by the crappy stuff and use that as momentum to change what needs to be changed. Venting is an important part of the process, and this here blog is good for that. But never think for a moment that all I do is kavetch without doing anything, or thinking deeply about the trends, signs, events, and situations of my life.

Tomorrow I'm in the screenwriting classroom. We're watching "Eve's Bayou," which I adore and love to teach with.

Heh. Things could be worse. I could have a voo doo priestess reading my fortune and making curses on my family. Yep.

I. Am. Done.

Nothing I do seems to matter. I'm churning water in circles here. There's no point to this bullshit. Being an adjunct at my age is ridiculous. Insulting. No one gives a shit. I am given the worst schedules. I am given classes that I am not equipped to teach because you need to be a fucking counselor and psychotherapist before you need to be able to teach. I did not get two degrees so I could yell at a bunch of 18-year-olds who are still acting like it's 5th period in 8th grade and who refuse to learn the difference between an adverb and a preposition.

I am so done wasting my time with people who don't appreciate me, the work I do, or the work I HAVE to do. I am done with teaching. As long as I'm chained to this hole of a town I have to find something else to do. Question is what? THERE ARE NO FREAKING JOBS HERE.

I can't imagine what it is I'm supposed to do here. I am bored. I am pissed off. I am lonely. I don't have the few things that make me happy. I can't get a good job that will either a. pay me well and help me put something away for retirement or b. give me a rosy feeling that my work is meaningful and I am appreciated.

I am tired of hearing my fat-ass upstairs neighbors stomping on the ceiling that sounds like it's going to cave in at any moment. I'm sick of freezing cold air that hangs about in my apartment all winter. I am done with country music in the grocery store FOREVER. I am done with the elitist hippies who wear flax pants and snub you on the street. Tired of the HILLS that have EYES and make me feel like I'm living in some kind of horror movie about a cult that owns the entire town and because you live in the valley YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE. I'm done feeling trapped. I'm done with having $17 in the bank because some places apparently think it's fine not to pay their adjuncts until 3 weeks after the semester has started. I'm done getting shat upon for summer work. I'm done working at the Chorch out of desperation.

I am not happy. I am depressed. I am angry. I want to leave, but I don't know where to go or what to do.

I am also sitting here alone in my living room because everyone else apparently had a bad day too and can't possibly listen to what I have to say about how unhappy my life is right now.

I ate brownies for dinner because I can't even be bothered.

I just want to crawl in a hole and I am so afraid of winter because if I feel this shitty now I can't imagine what it's going to be like in 3 months when it's cold, grey, bleak and everything is covered in ice.

Really, what is the point?

The Fourth Kind

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Vladurday (again a day late)

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Clannad banishes demons - who knew?

Last night I had one of many recent nightmares that involves me fighting off ghosts/demons. The dreams take place in a house - sometimes one I lived in, sometimes one I've made up in my head - and my Mom is always there. She is alive but weak. Sometimes there are other people around, sometimes not. But it is always up to me to fight the demons. I pray to Green Tara, I drag out rosaries and crucifixes in the dream, but nothing seems to work. The demons never hurt us, they're just wicked creepy. And the dream always results in me waking in the middle of the night covered in sweat.

This morning Bizarro helped me to decode these dreams, and then I was able to do something I haven't been able to since Mom died. I played one of her CDs that have been sitting on my shelf since January. I actually gave her many of these CDs, and we'd listen to them when I would come over on Sunday to have dinner and play Scrabble. I tried listening to one of them back in February or thereabouts, and I couldn't do it. It was too much.

I feel like I'm working through the next layer of grief. About a month ago I was feeling very bad - sad all the time, not wanting to see anyone. Depressed, actually. The beginning of the school year has helped me regain some personal focus, but these issues are still there, and they've been coming out in the form of these dreams. I am hoping now that I've decoded them, played a Clannad CD that was my Mom's, and gone to the cemetery (last weekend, for the first time since the burial), I will sleep better at night.

Top 10 Reasons Why The Mayan Calendar Stops at 2012

10. After the 3rd hit of peyote, it didn't seem to matter any more.
9. 2001, 2010 and 2031 were already taken.
8. Ran out of Red Bull.
7. The calendar actually went to 2500 but the wife used the last page as a coaster.
6. Cuz Jesus told me so.
5. The government funding ran out.
4. The Indians win the World Series.
3. Cuz that's what the Freemasons put on the back of the dollar bill.
2. If you divide 2012 by 2, subtract 500, then add 160, you get the SIGN OF THE DEVIL.
1. Mayan student: "I can turn this in now and get a C."

Thanks to Bizarro, Brian, Tim, and Annie for their priceless contributions to this list that mocks the end of life as we know it.

Rant-n-rave #1: Obama's Speech to America's Children

I'm more than a little annoyed with people griping over the president addressing our kids tomorrow. This comment from a blog reveals the kind of ignorance that makes me wonder if this country has a chance to reach the 22nd century: "if church and state are to be separate so should politics and school."

That's right - no more history classes, no more politics in America, no more social studies, no more citizenship classes. Teach our kids to distrust the president and liken him to Hitler programming his Youth (no kidding - I have heard this comparison). I am here to tell you that this approach will not foster a stronger nation. Keeping kids from discussing the very issues that will affect their future is rather like keeping them in a bubble, insulated and powerless. (Incidentally, the people whining about Obama talking to our kids are the same ones who complain that parents aren't taking enough responsibility these days, and that kids are coddled and not encouraged to think for themselves. Does anyone else see the irony here?) The transcript will be up today, for pity's sake. READ THE DAMN THING if you're so frightened of it, and then talk to your kids!

Believe me, I have my issues with President Obama, but he is our president and he is trying to do what is best for this country. Let's at least try to help him by educating our children, rather than teaching them the hallmarks of the last administration: mistrust and ignorance. I have a feeling that if George W. Bush had wanted to address our school children, the same people blustering about Obama's socialist-fascist-regime-machine would have been just fine letting W talk to our kids about WMDs in Iraq and the need for vigilant mistrust in a war on terror.

Obama's speech is meant to inspire our kids to stay in school and work hard for the future of this country. America has gotten fat and lazy. Hell we don't even remember why Labor Day was created - not to have end of summer BBQs and chill out with a beer in the hammock, but to remind us that the vacation season is over and it's time to get back to work. I'm teaching college freshmen who cannot write a paragraph and whose reading level is below that of a 9th grader. Come on, people, wake up! We have a problem right here in River City and its full name is Ignorance Sloth Apathy. If our president is taking time out of his busy schedule to inspire our youth to take their education seriously, I think the least we can do for our kids is try to support that message, even if we disagree with other areas of his policy and politics.

For those who feel strongly that Obama is out to brainwash our kids, you might be interested to know that indoctrination usually doesn't work if it's an optional program. Schools are not required to air Obama's speech. So that teachers who are already bursting at the seams don't have to run around the day before with a transcript to create a new lesson plan, talking points will accompany this speech, which again teachers are free to use, amend, or ignore. This is not an episode of Doctor Who, people. These children are not being programmed, used as talking pieces for an invading alien force, or brainwashed into being Democrats. And by the way, Obama isn't the only president to address America's children. Presidents Reagan and Bush both addressed our nation's youth during their terms in the Oval Office.

Once upon a time, there was a certain respect afforded the office of President of the United States. If the man in the chair proved himself unworthy of that respect, the nation reacted accordingly. This man is trying to inspire us and fix what's wrong. He has done nothing wrong, nothing illegal, immoral or otherwise earning this kind of mistrust. You might not agree with his methods or his politics, but to liken him to Hitler is, to my mind, un-American. Who needs terrorists to split us apart when we're doing the job ourselves by teaching our kids to mistrust the president who we elected into office, thereby subverting the American democracy that everyone claims to hold dear?

White House site with info on the Obama's speech to students.

Another good day at the community college. Although I am sick (again), but despite that we had a good class. I know I'm doing things differently from what other teachers are doing but I like what's going on in the class. I'm taking them step-by-step in the process of writing a paragraph with guidance and help from exercises in the book before they have to turn in their first of 8 paragraphs for a grade. This Friday we'll start working with grammar. I'm serious. This could be it for me. My calling (for the day job, you understand).

I enjoy teaching screenwriting, but I know there's no real future for me at the Other School on the Hill as far as possible full time work. I feel like there is more for me to mine at the community college. I'm building bridges, gaining experience there, etc. Although I don't want to settle in this area permanently, I will definitely need a full time gig for Bizarro to attend grad school full time.

Despite being sickly, I'm in a good mood. The weather this week is fantastic - high 70s and sunny. I plan to hit the lake up this weekend in any way possible.

Tonight is Leverage - one of the TV shows that inspires me to write. And the Red Sox are playing the Rays tonight - they won last night so let's see a repeat performance!