Fr. M's Boots

So as you know, faithful readership (all 5 of you), I am doing the hauskleening for the rectory this summer. Very sadly, Fr. M, the pastor, died on Monday of cancer. It's a weird week to start back up at the Chorch. Tomorrow's the funeral. What was really weird was that today as my coworker was showing me where everything is and what I'll have to do at the house, I had to go into Fr. M's room. His motorcycle boots are still sitting by the front door. Those first few days after someone passes are so difficult when you are faced with their belongings and the trappings of their lives here on this earth. I was fond of Fr. M but had no close bond with him; still, it was a strange thing to be there today. Luckily I had plenty to keep me busy, cleaning up after the other priests in the house.

I'll be going Monday, Thursday and Friday, and walking to work when I can (which I did today). Made the mistake of not wearing my orthotics, though, so my right foot is very unhappy with me at the moment.

Well it's time for bed. Will be happy for tomorrow morning to be over. I'm not looking forward to another funeral Mass, even if it is being said by the Bishop himself.

Okay, after the last 3 image entries, I'll actually write something.

Well, first off is good news. The Rehab folks think Mom is doing so well that she'll be discharged from rehab on Dec. 1 or thereabouts. This is far better than we could have expected. It also means I have to kick things into high gear early next week to get home health aides in the picture.

I only have 2.5 more weeks at the Chorch, and I'm counting down the seconds. I love my co-workers, but I need a break from this break-neck schedule. With the extra class at the community college next semester, I will be just busy enough, leaving time for handing Mom-stuff and keeping some energy set aside for writing and hopefully getting published and moving forward in '09 with getting an agent. That was a goal for '08 that disappeared when things got bad with Mom's health.

Next week is of course "gorge yourself on rich foods and then sit on your ass for 4 days" week. My Bro is coming on Tuesday the 25th, we are leaving for Cleveland on the 26th and returning Saturday the 29th. I am looking forward to a change of scenery and being pampered a little bit. Not that I should feel good about my 70-something mother-in-law cooking for me, but there is no way to stop her. Although, she does let me help for Thanksgiving dinner, at least. But the rest of the time she insists on feeding us like were were children totally dependent on her. Which is exactly how she likes it. But I know that feeding us is how she shows her love. And actually, Dad is the same way. He cooks, too. Especially breakfast, which is Bizarro's favorite part - bacon, sausage and eggs EVERY MORNING.

Over all right now I'm feeling okay and the stress levels are the lowest they've been in weeks. I am going out tonight to meet a friend of mine, Kyle, from grad school (linguistics) who is currently doing his PhD here at the School on the Hill. Bizarro ran into him randomly at a Starfucks a couple months ago, and this is the first chance we've had to get together and shoot the shit. It's so comforting when people from the past re-enter your life at random moments. Particularly someone who knows some of your history and shares some of the same professional/academic experiences. It'll be grand to have another friend in The City on The Edge of Forever.

Next week I'm going back to Yoga class, which will kick my ass again since it's been 3 weeks since I was there last. I've done some at home but not as regularly as I'd have liked, between being sick and coming home exhausted at 8 p.m. every night from the hospital or nursing home.

One last thing to add - I'm officially addicted to watching "House, M.D." Hugh Laurie is intense and I would totally do him. Not as House, you understand, but in a general way.

A time for everything...

more animals

When do I quit my desk job at the chorch? Now? How bout now?


Okay, now?


*sigh*

I'm stressing over this big time. I want to do right by them, but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. It's driving me absolutely bonkers and I hate it. Every time something is mentioned about "next year" or how "we're partners" or some such thing, I feel horrendously guilty (clearly the Catholic Church has left its mark on me). I have been trying to figure this out for days and it's taking up way too much time and brain space. If these people were a bunch of wheezes, I wouldn't be having this dilemma; my boss is a great boss and I know how much I will be letting her down, and what a nightmare it will be for her to train someone up again (after a string of part timers and losers before me). That's why on one hand I just want to get it over with. But of course if I give notice too soon, there's nothing to stop them from saying "we won't be needing you after Oct. 31st," and then I'm screwed for a 2nd job in November and most of December. See my quandry? Meantime, my cash cow school can't give me a contract until Thanksgiving because that's their policy (which means although it's unlikely for my sections to be cancelled, there's always an outside chance). Well, there's still the community college to weigh in. They were very keen on me this semester; I'm hoping they won't have cooled off for next semester and beyond.

URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG! I just want this settled once and for all!

But in a stroke of good fortune, Momazoo will be relocating to her assisted living place the first week of November! Turns out a resident is moving into independent living, so Mom gets her spot! Woo hoo! At least there's SOMETHING finally nailed down. Of course I have a lot to do for her and for this move in the next month, but I know we'll get it done.

I'm on an antibiotic for what turned out to be a sinus infection. Ew. No wonder I felt like shit for so long. One day on the drug and I'm feeling better already. Thank keee-rist!

"I forgot all about your needs; I was too busy tending to my own."

This awesome quote from Aqua Teen Hunger Force seems to be a reigning theme of the week. I've experienced a distressing lack of boundaries, disrespect for my hallowed and well-deserved yet puny 30 minute lunch break, and the stink eye from a fellow customer who clearly felt I needed to get out of her way so she could do her business.

What the hell, people? First of all, there's this thing called CIVILITY which used to be a mark of CIVILIZATION. Secondly, a person's lunch is SACRED. You're a liberal, don't you realize how hard the unions fought for that? Jeezuz!

It's okay; I kept telling myself today that every time someone treats me like an inferior admininstrative assistant with no human rights, it will be that much easier to walk away from the job when the time comes. I've been wracked with guilt at the thought of "betraying" my boss who HAS been incredibly wonderful to me in so many ways. Then my space gets stepped on by the Flying Nun, or the Jersey Girl interrupts my lunch to get a message off the answering service, and I remember why I'm not happy there. Oh, and also, I'm not a freaking secretary - I'm a TEACHER and a WRITER.

Last night Paranormal State was a repeat, which was a bummer. But next week they go chasing UFOs (with Chip Coffey!) for their mid-season finale. Stoke!

I am cooking up a kick-ass sauce with a base of hot turkey Italian sassage, sauted onions and garlic with sherry, and some organic tomatoes. Can't wait to eat when Bizarro gets home!

Last thing - I want to recommend that everyone see the film "Tampopo," a Japanese foody flick so-called a "noodle Western." It's fun, kooky, and will make you hungry (esp. if you like Japanese food)!

Happy Autumn

Yesterday was, of course, the Autumnal Equinox. The days are now shorter than the nights, and will continue to dwindle. I'm fine with this. What I dread is the turning back of the clocks. I think we just need to stay on the daylight savings schedule all year round. It doeesn't need to be dark out at 5:00, people! As someone who does major battle with seasonal depression, I don't see the need for it being dark from 5:00 p.m. to 7:30 A.M. the next day. I needs me some sunlight! My doctor prescribed a light box for me this winter, which I will use and see if it does any damned good. Darkness + Cold + A drafty apartment = a very unhappy Ms. Bizarro.

But we still have a good month/month and a half of daylight savings and beautiful fall weather. I am going to Massachusetts next month for a whirlwind visit to the old hometown, to see JET's Baby Girl (she has her C-section scheduled for this Friday) and possibly my grand niece, who is due Nov 3 but who may well come early, seeing as how her brother Owen made a Preemie appearance. We shall see... the drive out will be beautiful, and I've booked a family-owned motel room that I've stayed at before (it's wicked cheap - $65/night compared to $130 at the chains just up the road). And of course, I will visit the ocean... all bundled up with a large cup of Marylou's black coffee. Heaven.

I am feeling better after last week's Virus That Ate My Brain, but still my sinuses are holding on to every drop of gunk they can. Can I just tell you that nasal irrigation is the weirdest thing I've ever done? It has helped, I think, but it wasn't pleasant. Still, I recommend it to anyone with sinusitis.

Dammit I sound like an old person complaining about my ailments. I pray that I never become so self-involved that all I ever talk about is what's wrong with me. So many old people come into the church office where I work, and when you ask them how they are (a fairly perfunctory question, mind you), they spew forth a litany of complaints. Meanwhile I just nod and make sounds that are supposed to be read as sympathetic, while I continue doing my work. I do feel bad for these people, though. For some of them, the church is the center of their social life as well as their spiritual life, and without it they'd have no one to talk to.

Speaking of the chorch job, I need to get ready for work. Blech. I want to curl up with a blanket and a book and stay home, but no can doing.

I am really feeling the burn out, in fact I think I'm coming down with something. That or it's a severe case of PMS. I've had a headache for 2 days, and now I'm feeling woozy and achey and sleepy and sore throaty.

I have ordered Chinese food from our favorite place and I can't wait for my won ton soup and Amazing Chicken. I need spicy to knock it out of me! Bizarro of course had me order his usual (PMP, you can recite this by heart, can't you?): chicken wings and shrimp lo mein.

So today one of the teachers approached me and asked if I would take his students for our class on Thursday, since he has to take his mom to the hospital for a procedure. I said no problem, because they're all watching the same movie tomorrow night and Thursday's class will be deconstructing the film (i.e. pretty much the same lesson plans all around). I really don't mind doing this at all, except for the fact that my room is quite small and crowded already, so I'm not sure how we'll manage the space. But we'll manage.

I have to say the overall collegiality of my colleagues in this summer program has been outstanding. It makes things soooooooooo much easier when you feel like you're part of a team and it's not forced down your gob WE ARE A TEAM so go take the Myers-Briggs and report back to the TEAM so that we can pick apart your personality. Oooops, did I just go there? Yes, I believe I did. Well, as I think I've said before, it's just really affirming to have such a positive experience teaching ESL after the last two debacles since moving to New York State.

My only complaint, and it's a mild one at that, is that sometimes the communication from the top down is a bit confusing. I showed up 30 minutes late to a meeting last Friday because I was apparently the only one who didn't get the memo that our meeting was now at 11:30 instead of 12:00. No body cared and I wasn't in any trouble, but I hate being late and I felt like a schmuck. There was some similar confusion as to the place of the movie we're watching tomorrow night, but I was smart this time and followed up more aggressively to make sure I knew what was going on. Next week there is a little ceremony where the students get their certificates for completing the program, and it was announced to us late last week that we teachers had to go. This happens to be the night before our last day, which is also the night before our big trip to the Live Adventure, which means it's a crazy night of packing, last minute Target runs, and for me, some specific henna tatoos for my character. God knows how much longer I will be on campus with this shindig I have to attend. I mentioned politely to my boss that it would be helpful to have these things scheduled and communicated early on and she agreed (it wasn't coming from her, but from the people who run the entire summer college program, of which we are one sliver).

Anyway, other than those minor annoyances, I am so pleased with how the summer is going. In fact, I would love to do this every summer, but with the new hours at the chorch job, I don't know if it will be possible.

Speaking of the chorch job, I am nervous. If they can't give me a significant increase in pay starting in January, I am screwed for money and will have to find something else to do. A full time job needs to pay the bills; if it doesn't, then I have to go elsewhere. It's one of those stressful items I have had to keep on the back burner, but I keep lifting the lid to check on it and that only seems to make it worse. I want to get some real idea of what I will be doing - as usual - so that I'm not making it up on the fly.

Where's that Chinese food?

Rollercoaster

Today, I:

1. Left work early and drove to Mom's to take her into the E.R. She's been admitted and they are trying to figure out why she's been short of breath and congested.

2. Was offered the full-time chorch job b/c the other part time secretary gave her two weeks' notice.

3. Felt like a punching bag, a trampoline AND one of those inflatable bounce and jump around rooms at street fairs.

I'm exhausted. Mom is doing okaaaaay in ICU (for the dialysis, she's not in critical condition), and just wants to go home. I have started the ball rolling (as in: Sisyphus) for V.A. Widow's benefits and assisted living placement in a better place than the two cracker boxes I'd already looked into.

The full-time chorch job is being flexible so I can still teach screenwriting this fall, but then after that, I will be a full-time chorch secretary. It sounds awful, I know, but it's a good thing. It's easy work, easy hours, good pay and bennies, and I will have time and head space for creative pursuits while I pay the Direct Loan monstrosity I owe. AND we can hopefully buy a house in the near future.

A weird day, good and bad. A microcosm of Life, I suppose.