Feeling Accomplished

It's a glorious Friday. I have finished all my work for the quarter and am burning the DVD of my teaching demo as I write this. I can send out my latest round of application materials tomorrow. It feels good! Now I can focus on other, more fun things... like going to Cleveland to see Mr and Mrs Bizarro tomorrow night and then... getting married next Wednesday!

Tonight we're going to see "Ring 2" with Mr Club and the Kitten. I'm looking forward to it. I still prefer the Japanese "Ringu" to the American remake ("The Ring"), mostly due to the fact that the storytelling pace, the character movements and the ending all made for better psychological horror than the American "in your face - this is a horror movie!" version. There are a couple things I liked better in The Ring, such as the more explicit explanation that Samara had the ability to psycically project images onto film / photosensitive material. This made the "ghost on a videotape" idea more plausible. Ringu didn't really touch that concept, it just expected the audience to suspend disbelief.

Mr Club prefers The Ring to the Japanese original - again, he saw them in that order, and I saw Ringu first ( the order seems to have an impact on which movie people prefer). Something I think that Ringu achieves infinitely better than The Ring is holding onto the mystery of Sadako, keeping her image and her story haunting and indistinct, whereas The Ring immediately shows us Samara's face, humanizing her from nearly the beginning with loads of family history and drama. It makes her more like another Damien, rather than this mysterious and terrifying force that is other-worldly and not really human anymore. Furthermore, Ringu relied on the actor's movement and simple camera tricks to give Sadako that "non-human" appearance. Very, very creepy! The lighting and make-up effects were higher quality in The Ring, but I'm not convinced they were really that useful in creating a better story. Furthermore, The Ring's director threw in these cheesy Hitchcock visual references that distracted from the story (the stairwell ripped off from "Vertigo" and the main character looking into her neighbors' windows, one of whom is in a wheel chair a la "Rear Window").

But having said all that, The Ring 2 was directed by Nakata Hideo, who directed Ringu. From the tiny things I've read about it, he's bringing back that pacing, and the more suggestive rather than hit-you-over-the-head images from Ringu (such as the bodies of Sadako/Samara's victims frozen in poses of horror rather than made to look like 30-year-old drowning victims). I'm psyched!!!

On a similar note, last night Bizarro and I watched "Ju-On" which he insisted on seeing before we watch "The Grudge". Ju-On was directed by Takashi Shimizu, young up and coming J-horror director. The film was clearly inspired by images from Ringu - particularly the way the mother's ghost crawls Kabuki-style down the steps toward her intended victims, looking more like a spider crab than a dead woman. Anyway, the story line was extremely non-existant. What it DID have was back-story, which was revealed in bits and pieces. But overall the killings seemed at times to be random, and the "roles" that the victims played didn't seem consistent - just that whomever had anything to do with the haunted house (even by calling the answering machine!) was a goner (except the security guard - not sure why he died - he never went near the house although he was with one of the people who had been in the house). See what I mean?

Anyway, the funny thing about Ju-On was the commentary by none other than master horror and larf maker Sam Raimi, accompanied by the ass-licking "yeah, just like in Evil Dead" Scott Spiegel. Those two guys barely talked about Ju-On except to express moments of creepiness. Ah well, watching the commentary after the movie allowed me to sober up after drinking almost 3/4 of a bottle of wine by myself!

We began the evening by watching "American Adobo" which I won't write about here because I'm sure Bizarro has written his ... er.. review on his blog by now.

Here's to a fantastic spring break! The best of my life, I think!

Rimmerrrr, Ri-i-i-mmerrr...

...to quote my favorite anti-hero from Red Dwarf. Yes, I feel as if I've "won". The quarter is over and I just have to finish my grading and then turn in the student grades on Thursday.

The last 24 hours have been remarkable. But wait... set the Way-Back Machine to last Friday, March 11. I received an email from the Associate Director of OPIE, where I'm a T.A., stating that a particular SUNY university is looking for an ESL instructor. Furthermore, on the QT, there's an OU insider on the hiring committee. So without ado I emailed a cover, CV and references that very afternoon.

Yesterday, which was Monday, I was sitting at my computer getting ready to contact another university in Upstate, when I got a call from the dirctor of the ESL program at the SUNY university herself! She said the committee was impressed with me and wanted to see a video of my teaching, as well as some lesson plans, syllabi, etc. VIDEO? "Er, um... I don't have one. But I'll think of something, no problem. yes, of course I can send you something by the 29th. I'm meeting with my students one last time tomorrow..."

At which point I ran downstairs to my mentor in OPIE and asked her if it would be appropriate to teach a "mini lesson" with my students on Tuesday, and videotape it. She said NO. No, as in, no you can't do that it's not appropriate. Not sure why, it wasn't explained to me. BUT being the resourceful, determined, job-hungry grad student that I am, I came up with a solution.

I was going to give the students a final "quiz" on the last chapter of the book we've been working on for the last 2 weeks. So I created a group activity as part of the "quiz" so that I would be interacting with students and demonstrating the kind of approach and activities I talk about in my statement of philosophy (which the folks at SUNY also want to see). So yesterday afternoon, I had to re-think and re-make my quiz, arrange for a camera and a different room to accomodate the camera, find a camera person, etc.

It would seem that everything went off well. however I have yet to edit the tape, which I'll be doing hopefully Thursday and Friday of this week with the generous help of the technology dude in OPIE. Im going to burn a DVD with not only the 10 minutes or so of video, but also the other documents the hiring committee has requested.

Can you believe it? All in 24 hours. To quote a song "What a difference a day makes!".
Indeed!

I'm going to my favorite coffee shop in town (NOT Landru's) to grade my students' work, then I have to pick up Bizarro at the Diamond Mines at 7:00. He has club tonight, which means he'll come home covered in bruises and everyone at his work will think I'm a husband abuser. Ha. Seriously, though, I hope he doesn't hurt himself. I understand the stated purpose of conditioning, but it seems to me that it might be more beneficial, mentally and spiritually, if it happens naturally from daily training, rather than a "Tuesday/Thursday night let's-bash-up-my-forearms-as-much-as-possible" session.
Just my idea.

I'm getting married in 8 days. Oh. My. God.

It's Bloggin' Time

I've been a bad blogger. I admit it. I'm sorry. LIKE ANYONE CARES.

Well anyway, so it's the 8th of March, which means I'm 37 years and 5 days old. I had a fantastic birthday despite the fact that the week itself wasn't very cheery. On the day of, my colleagues from the LSOU (Linguistics Society of Ohio University), of which I am co-president, met up at Casa, and we had a very productive meeting. After the meeting (over pitchers of Scotch Ale and lots of nachos), we slipped right into birthday mode. My girls brought in a cake and the bartender helped them light the candles (no, they didn't fit 37 candles on the cake!). My office mate bought me a shot of Jameson's (my fave) and I continued to drink Nutbrown Ale through out the night. After most of our friends left, Bizarro and I stayed and watched the karaoke with glee. Yes, Bizarro got up and belted one out - not sure if he's told that story on his blog or if he wants it generally known, but he can really deliver "Frank-n-furter style" when the occasion calls for it!

The weekend was even better - in Columbus for the whole weekend, hanging out with my matron of honor and her kids. They also brought out a birthday cake (again, not with 37 candles). The best part of the night was -- kk -- our little stop-motion Power Rangers porno. It all started with the fully-articulated 12 inch Black and White power rangers... and ended up... well.. if they send us the photos we'll post them. Freaking hilarious! And we hadn't had anything to drink, even.

This week is the last week of the quarter. Praise be!! I gave my crappy little presentation in CALL yesterday - oh my gawd. I really have a love-hate relationship with technology. It would seem that I try to love it but it hates me. Anyway, the presentation and accompanying paper are now behind me. All I have left is the internship - which requires lots of scanning and uploading docs and PDFs onto a Moodle site which I've helped to create for this project. The problem lies in the fact that my supervisor doesn't know squat about the Moodle or the related technology issues. So I've basically been mired in trial-and-error, with more error than anything else. But finally, after this morning's session, I think I've figured out what I need to efficiently scan, save and upload. The worst part is - uploading all these files isn't even making the best use of the Moodle site. There are all sorts of resources we could be making but for the time being we're just dumping all this other stuff up there. Well it's a work in progress, and likely will be so for some time to come. Anyway, after this Friday it's no longer any of my concern.

I am anxious to get through this week so that I can focus on getting married. Not just the physical components, the preparations, etc. but what it means to be getting married. I'd like to take a couple days - maybe this weekend - and have a kind of retreat. Maybe do that cleansing fast for 3 days. Although I do have to collect and grade my students' final research papers next week, but that wont be bad because they've been writing in drafts. Anyway, I really need to take some time for myself before the wedding to get into the headspace of what I'm about to embark upon. Namely - the rest of my life.

And with that, I need to eat and get back to my scanning and uploading tasks.

Groove is in the heart.

End of an era

This week I will turn 37 (March 3, in case anyone wants to send me some prezzies). And by the end of this same month, I will be married. In one brief 30 day period I will enter my "late 30s" and leave singledom forever.

Yesterday I baked a beautiful birthday cake for my Korean friend who turns 25 today. She is trying to get over a heartbreak, and yesterday her good friends did our bit to speed up the healing process. We had tried to give her a surpise party but on of us spilled the beans...still there were some surprises, such as my very own home made cake. She was so happy, and it did my spirit good to see her smiling.

Tomorrow starts week 9. Only two weeks left, and now I can focus on finishing my internship project and make preparations for failing one of my students. How lovely!

Here's to a fantabulous week.

Day of Infamy

I presented my work-in-progress Prosem today. Not only did it go well, but I got some critical feedback that will more than likely change the direction of the research I've been doing. Well not so much change it, but refocus the analysis. I have more research to do, as a result, but that's okay because I'm really psyched about the project (which is, BTW, "Future directions of TEFL in China: A case study of the WUSIE pilot 2004).

Just scarfed a bag of popcorn. Don't know what I can afford for din-din before Bizarro and I go to the movies to see Constantine.

WOW! Just found out from my advisor that the TA's will be getting $500 more next quarter! The dean gave us a raise! Wow! What a great way to start the weekend.

Speaking of which I gotta get outta here.

Friday is the Bestday

Well, the week's ended on a rather good note. I mailed off my first job application today - the position is "Instructor of English" (writing) at Tompkins Cortland Community College in Dryden, NY. That's about half way between Ithaca and Cortland - still less than an hour to my mom's place in Elmira. Woo Hoo!!! And we're off...

Last night I was feeling pretty down. Ended up going to Ping for a work out (which only reminded me why I go to Well Works and not Ping). But this morning I felt a lot better. Glad I worked out - it helped to disspell some of the stress I was feeling.

Bizarro hurt his little self earlier this work after clubbing too hard. Mr. Club was sweet and called last night after club to make sure he was doing okay. I was surprised that he went to club last night, after he'd spent the entire day Wednesday on the couch under the influence of Vicadin and muscle relaxants. He's feeling a lot better, thankfully. He even shoveled snow this morning so the landlady wouldn't get her knickers in a twist. What a sweet heart. And, best of all, he's now officially a published writer! Go to his blog and you'll find the link... sorry but I don't know it right now to add it here.

So tonight the plan is to grade student papers, which will continue throughou the weekend. I also have to work on prosem this weekend. And do laundry. But that's all. Nothing else. T'ai Chi, meditation group, and maybe hang out with Mr. Club and Katwoman if they are interested (I hope!!).

Just this morning Bizarro and I were saying how freaking cool it would be if they moved to NY, too.
Oh, which reminds me of this cool little story. I recently got back in touch with an old chum of mine from HS and college. I googled her and found her easily at UMV, and sent her an email weeks ago. Last night I dreamed that she came over my house for coffee - this morning there was an email from her!

Well I got some stuff to do before class. Here's looking forward to a relaxed yet productive weekend.

Strange Daze

It's V-day but I really don't care. It's now 9:17 pee emm and I've been here since 10 a.m. Too much to do. Bizarro had the day off and got to spend all of it in the Library and Landru's (with no brelly or lens cloth). I'm just feeling sorry for myself because I have so much work to do. But I finished my paper that's due in 2 weeks - so that I can concentrate on my Pro Seminar presentation that's also in 2 weeks. I've been doing interviews for my Pro Sem research, and after this week those will be done. But I've got a lot of student work to grade in the meantime. Faaawwwwk!!

Saw a scary ass muther movie the other night - "Ringu". Apparently there are a number of sequels of varying degrees of quality. It's a Japanese flick, very creepy and skin-crawly. Gave me nightmares Sat. night, and I didn't feel normal again until this morning.

Welp, I really need to get the fuck out of Gordy Hall. Going home. Mr. CLub, I hope you guys had a good V-day. Thanks for the invite to BDUBS. Next time.

My mind is a blur

I just spent 2 and a 1/2 hours in student consultations. Oy vey. My brain is leaking out my ears.

So this morning I had a typical "O.U. experience." I had a coffee date with my friend at 10:00 and then class at noon, so I thought I'd get to campus early and drop off my reservation for the chapel and get the stupid "referral" for the damned insurance forms for my doctor (OU has a new insurance carrier and they need a new referral from Hudson, those bastards). Oh, and I also needed to buy stamps. I checked the hours of the chapel office on the reservation form: 11-2. Very inconvenient. Bizarro dropped me off at Hudson Health Center. The Student Insurance Office doesn't open til 10:30! Fuckers!! So I go back to Baker Center, thinking I'll buy my stamps at the post office there, and get some cash back since the freaking coffee house only takes cash. The POST OFFICE does't open until 10:30, either!! Since when does the work day begin at 10:30 or 11:00? I didn't get the memo!!

Okay, so then I try to get money out of the ATM at Baker Center, but of course it's out of order, so I have to truck up the street to the credit union ATM - which is out of order even though it doesn't SAY it's out of order. I'm lucky I got my card back from the infernal machine. By this time it's 9:55. I cross the street to the BankSlum ATM and pay a freaking $2.00 charge and am forced to take out $20 freaking dollars. FUCKERS.

Thankfully the rest of the day went okay. I went to the chapel office after 11:00 and reserved the chapel for the wedding (YAY!!). I blew off my noon class to work on Pro Sem, then sat for my student meetings until just a few moments ago.

Did I mention that my brain is fried?

Last night I watched "Best in Show" -- freaking hilarious. I'll watch it again with Bizarro. Parker Posey ROCKS.

Here's my latest obsession: http://games.yahoo.com/games/downloads/tx.html

kay I gotta relax and maybe do more work tonight. Maybe, my ass. I got to get some freaking work done! Bizarro's off the diamond mine shift at 8:30. I hope he doesn't want to go out for margueritas.

HAPPY YEAR OF THE ROOSTER!!

Week 5

I've had a raging headache all damn day. Still not a bad day, as days go. My desk is clean at the moment, so all isn't lost. But I DO have a buttload of student essays to read tonight.

Today I tried getting in touch with two former classmates of mine from college (and one was also a high school classmate as well). I hope I hear back from them.

Last night had my "girls" over. We've all been so busy this year, and this quarter I'm not in any classes with them so we hardly get to see each other. It was nice to visit, watch a movie (Mean Girls - hilarious and so true to life), eat snacks, etc.

Plans for the wedding are moving along. I gotta drop off the reservation form and check to the chapel office tomorrow. We've decided on plain wedding bands for now, and for our first year anniversery we'll have our friend in NY custom make bands to go with this honkin' engagement ring. After getting blown off by the dude at Athens Floral for almost 2 weeks, we've also decided to have the flowers done at Krogers. I know exactly what flowers to use, and with hand-tied bouquets it's hard to fuck it up. Those two decisions brought the cost of the wedding down considerably, into a range we're much more confortable with. And we still get to have our 2 nights at the cabin for our honeymoon! :D

Welp, time to go home, eat dinner and grade. Hm. What's for dinner I wonder? Rice and stir fry, maybe. Sounds good. Oh, and tomorrow I'm scheduled for my first visit to Wellworks. I need to drop 5 pounds by the wedding so I can fit into that dress. Oy vey.

What a beautiful Monday. Well not exactly beautiful. This morning our hot water pipes were frozen for awhile, and the tub drain still was frozen when we left the house around noon.

Came to class late (the discussion ended up being a bitch-session about O.U.'s mismanagement of resources, funds and training). Hopefully we'll doing something interesting for the remainder of class.

Spent Friday and Sat. feeling very ill with a stomach virus, but then Bizarro made me go out dancing Sat night around 11:00. Latin Dance night is my favorite Athens past time, and it only happens once a quarter or so. It was good to get out and have some physical outlet. But man was I tired.

Gotta go play with Hot Potatoes for class now.

one more thing...


I MISS KOREA!!!!!!! WAHHHHH!!!!

Cookin'

I feel like I've finally got my pace for the quarter. I am, you could say, cookin' now.

Tonight I went to see the show Cookin', which can be described as Stomp only it's Korean, with kitchen utensils, juggling, fire-breathing, knife-wielding, high-stepping, physical comedy, and actual food being prepared on stage. After the show, the Korean Student Union hosted a free Korean food buffet, which was basically finger foods (and the omnipresent Kimchi, of course). The evening was made possible by my student, In, to whom I have taught English for three quarters (and tutored over winter break). He's a darling and such a hard worker. He gave me two complimentary tickets, and was so happy to see me this evening.

My guest tonight, since Bizarro had to go to Clubbing, was a foreign exchange student from France, who is staying with one of my OPIE colleagues (Holiday, who's my internship director this quarter). The student, Antoine, is from St. Etienne, which is near Lyons (apparently they are huge rivals in soccer). According to Holiday, he doesn't do a whole lot outside of school (he's in high school, don't know what age) so when I mentioned this morning that I had an extra ticket, she asked if I would take him with me. I must admit at first I wasn't too game, but then I thought about it and realized I would be saving the ticket for no one in particular, anyway, and I may as well help this kid have a good experience in America. He's a good kid, very polite and enthusiastic. I'm very glad I took him with me.

The evening was great, and made up for the shitty beginning of the quarter. It's pouring rain again, but the temp. is in the 60s so it's not too bad.

Some news - Bizarro and I have set our wedding date for March 23. The March Wedding March, I'm calling it. It's incredible that in less than 3 months time I'll be a married woman! Wow. Who'd a thunk it??

My good friend from last year's graduating class (my office mate whose desk I now sit at) is pregnant with her first kid. I'm very pleased for her and her hubby.

Another one of my friends from last year's class returned from her homeland, Saudi Arabia, safe and sound, for which I am grateful. She brought me back a pretty little crystal perfume bottle.

The sad news of the week is that Catwoman's grampa passed away. I will call her tomorrow to offer my condolences and see if she needs anything.

Going into Friday of a 3-day weekend is a good thing. I have work to catch up on and would like to go to my meditation group on Sunday, as well as T'ai Chi on Saturday morning.

It's late and I gotta get the car and pick up Bizarro from Fight Club.

Annyongi Kasayo!

Quote of the month:

"Brain and Brain! What is brain?!"

-- from the much-loved, oft-misquoted Star Trek episode "Spock's Testacles"

I believe!

Not in Jesus as the saviour, or aliens among us...but rather in the effect of Mercury in retrograde. As mentioned before, all hell broke loose in my life around the time that Mercury went back-ass-wards. Thurs morning I awoke, though absolutely nothing was different from the night before, feeling good about life in general, despite the winter blahs and the work load etc. Well, one thing had changed - Mercury went un-retrograde during the night. I kid you not. I've been feelig energized and motivated - a total turnaround from Wednesday when I found it necessary to go out for a drink or two with Bizarro, Mr Club and Cat Woman. In fact I was so tired by 11:30 that I was ready to go home and sleep - I didn't even enjoy the buzz!

So I've got my game on once again, and am excited about my projects and the class I'm teaching. Feeling good about life in general, optimistic about the future (still nervous though). Not a bad way to finish up Week 1 of the quarter, I must say.

Last night went to Ping and worked out for the first time in 3 weeks. I'm feeling it today, but not as badly as I'd expected. Bizarro went to Club Mix-a-Lot last night and worked out for the first time in months. Heh. He could barely get out of bed this morning.

Almost time to go home and eat. Then will do some reading and catch a movie (if I can find something decent at the liberry). Tomorrow I'm going to Ta'i Chi and Chi Kung, then working on Pro Sem in the affernoon, and I think I'll go see a Korean movie that this one Korean film major is screening as part of a series. Some of the First Years are going, so I may as well too. I can swoon over Korea and practice my terrible Korean pronunciation.

One of these days I'll scan some Korea pictures...

The countdown begins...23 weeks and counting

23 Weeks until graduation (punctuated by one week of break between Winter and Spring quarters). Can I make it?

Yesterday, the quarter didn't get off to a great start. The usual OPIE bullshit - why was I surprised? This time the OPIE secretary had neglected to update the Registrar with the correct time of the class I'm teaching, so a bunch of students showed up at the wrong time and didn't have a clue what was going on. By the time I figured all this out, it was afternoon. I was addressed by the secretary in the English department as "The one who didn't show up for class today." The class I teach is weird - it's formally run through the English dept. as a first year writing class for international students, but it's always taught by an OPIE faculty or TA. So the English dept had no idea what was going on because OPIE never got its ass in gear to let anyone know about the change in time. Mind you, the OPIE secretary has known since before the end of last quarter (over a month and a half ago) that the time had changed. She told me back then it would mean she had to close the original scheduled class time and re-open it as another section, and that was too much trouble. I figured she'd just do it after the end of the quarter when things were quieter. Yeah, right. An administrator doing their job at OPIE? You gotta be kidding!

So yesterday's class was a wash and today hopefully everyone will show up. I sent out emails to the students on my list yesterday letting them know of the time AND place (OPIE also thought to move the class to our building, and of course this was also a last minute change that neither the English dept. nor Registrar was aware of). Oy vey.

Hopefully today will go better. I can't expect anything different from O.U. That's my new thing - not having expectations that can be dashed, thereby throwing me into a tailspin. I came home feeling exhausted and very depressed last night, and even watching "Stargate" didn't make me feel better. Only Bizarro could make me feel better by giving me a pep talk and reacting in an appropriately self-indignant manner regarding my day, when he finally got home from Landru's. On my end, I must say I responded to everyone involved in the FUBAR yesterday with gracious and professional manners, yet still making sure it was damned clear that someone ELSE had f*cked up and that I was in the clear. I guess that means (as Bizarro pointed out last night) that at the end of the day, I won.

Anyway...I am excited about my class in Instructional Technology. I think I'll learn a lot and it'll help me get a job - all job descriptions I've seen have included CALL experience (Computer Assisted Language Learning). And the internship still needs to ironed out but that should be good to go by end of the week.

Catwomon (a.k.a. Mrs. Club) has graciously passed on information about a new conference which will be held at my alma mater in Rochester, NY for teaching jobs in western NY. I may try to go, if it fits my schedule and isn't too mucy money. We'll see.

Opened a savings account with my student loan overage today. Yay me!

Guess that about covers it. Now if only this rain would stop and the sun would shine... Here's to a quick Winter quarter!

It's been a great winter break, but now we're back in action. I'm in my one and only formal class this quarter: Instructional Technology. This promises to be a very useful class; I'm psyched.

Oops gotta go.

Happy times are here again...

Today I found out to my great joy that I am teaching the 151a writing course this Winter (essentially Freshman Comp for international students). When my boss told me this afternoon, I exclaimed "Yay! This is the best news I've had all week!" He reminded me that it's only Monday and so he wasn't getting too excited over my response.

Tradishun
Today I made my wonderful homemade tomato sauce with angel hair spaghetti. Mmmm yum. Bizarro fixed some breaded chicken for a lovely, albeit ghetto, Chicken Parmesan. I'm stuffed even now, and it's almost 11 p.m.

Did laundry, vacuumed, dusted, got my checkbook updated on the new fancy-arse MSN Money program, organized my pile o' shit, and finally wrote up an idea for a documentary I've had for years.

My dad was an accordion player- not your basic Myron Floren/Lawrence Welk polka variety, but a serious musician who ran a music school, arranged music, wrote music, etc. We have all this documentation - Super8 movie, tons of pictures, and these 40 year old reel-to-reel tapes that my brother has salvaged and burned onto CDs. I'd like to do something with all that and tell the story of my dad's music school. It's interesting, I think, beyond the fact that he was my dad, because the accordion was a very timely instrument (as opposed to somethign timeless like the violin or piano) and that timeliness was very tied in to his vision. Once the accordion's time was done, so was his school, his life-long love. He became a real estate broker the last couple years before his death in 1979. I think the cancer was caused by a broken heart, myself.

So yeah... I want to make a movie about all that. Someday - not now.

It's late now, almost 11:00 and I'm sitting here in my office with Bizarro typity-typing on his laptap next to me. Kinda cute, eh?

We're leaving for Cleveland/New York on Thursday morning, so the next 3 days will be kinda busy. I always have time for coffee, though... (hint hint Mr. Club and Cat!!)

Slan!

Part Deux

I forgot to mention two things in my post earlier today: the suprise email I got from an old boyfriend and Mercury being in retrograde.

The old boyfriend (Trev) is from about 15 years ago. He's Irish (as in, lives in Ireland) hence the relationship was a summer romance that went nowhere when I was a Junior in college. Apprently he took it more seriously than I did (which was par for the course back in those days) and when I returned to Ireland to shoot my film about 6 years ago, he was unwilling to see me or have any contact with me. So you can imagine my shock when I got an email from him on my school account. He clearly made the deliberate attempt to look me up. So we've been emailing a bit, clearing the air a bit. He's married with an 11 year old and 8 year old (daughters). Seems very happy and content, which might explain his willingness to contact me after all these years. Y'know, he was one of the good ones. I didn't leave him because he's an asshole, but for other reasons. He's a good person and someone I'd like to call friend. But I know that our relationship can never transcend email. I'm sure if Bizarro and I go to Ireland one day, Trev will not be able to see us because his very traditional wife won't understand why he'd want to see an old (girl)friend. And that's...okay.

As to the Mercury in retrograde thing... Well I'm not very superstitious, but according to what's supposed to go wrong during this astrological event, the effects have definitely been felt in my life this past week: Mercury in Retrograde

Week of Infamy

Sure has been awhile. I've been convalescing from school, keeping out of my office as much as possible, which means little internet access is to be had.

Last weekend I was on retreat with practitioners from KTC at a woodsy retreat center in Yellow Springs (it seemed more like the set of a bad sequel to "The Blair Witch Project" but that's another issue). It was a good retreat, but not one of warm-fuzzies. More like digging at the less desirable parts of my psyche and putting them on the table to focus my practice. After I came home on Sunday, me and Bizarro promptly had a wicked ass blowout which was entirely my fault. So much for Enlightenment. But we kissed and made up and all was well by the end of the night.

Just when I thought things were on the mend, financial crisis gripped the household when I realized on Wednesday that I'd made a double entry of a deposit in my checkbook, and was actually about $650 in the red. Fucking great! So we depleted our meager $200 savings and I borrowed $500 from a good friend and colleague (bless her soul!) and if I can get the bank manager to refund me the $108 in overdraft fees, things will be back to being marginally okay, maybe. This hit me hard, not so much because of the financial side (which is always fucked up anyway, so what's really new? I now owe someone $500, which is par for the course). The main thing that I felt keenly was the idea that once again, I FUCKED UP.

Now you have to understand that I am a perfectionist and have been in therapy for this exact issue off and on for years. Oh, I can psycho analyze myself until the cows come home, but what it boils down to is how I actually react in times of stress. Usually, that ain't so good. But recently I've been making very small strides in the right direction. Although I wanted to beat myself senseless over the stupid checkbook error, I managed not to. I managed to get through the entire thing, with Bizarro's unsweving and loving assistance (and $2 margueritas at Casa with Mr. Club and Cat!). I survived emotionally intact. Not to mention determined to be a wee bit more careful about tending my checkbook register.

So today... a beautful sunny day... I spent the morning reading and puttering around the apartment. Showered, meditated at my shrine, had a nice salad, hard-boiled some eggs for later, and even prepared a pizza doggy bag for Bizarro's lunch at the diamond mines.

I dropped him off at the mines, and he was driving (this becomes an important detail). We did our usual thing - pulled up out of the way by the curb, put the flashers on and did a half-chinese fire drill for me to get to the driver's seat, give him a quick peck on the cheek, and him run into work. So as I was getting out of the passenger side, this fat woman with 20 bags of food stamp groceries is standing on the curb with her friend, and she makes this comment that took me a moment to realize was directed at us: "Somebody needs remedial reading, they can't see the "no parking" sign. No parking means no parking."

Now... as I was coming around the back end of the car it's dawning on me what she's saying and to whom. So by the time I got to Bizarro, who's already puckered up and ready to say bye, I'm giving this woman a scowl that could decalcify bones. You know the type of bitchy person, who feels the need to make comments about strangers but doesn't have the balls to look them in eyes while they're speaking? I made sure she knew I heard her and that I didn't appreciate her ignorant fat ass making stupid comments that weren't any of her business. I think Bizarro didn't hear her and had no idea why I was still staring at her while saying goodbye to him.

I got in the car, rolled down the passenger side window and said as I pulled out "Have a nice day!" in a sickenly saccharin voice that CLEARLY was not wishing her a nice day, but rather letting her know that I recognize how pathetic her life must be for her to have to hang out by "no parking" signs, railing on people who are doing absolutely no harm to her or anyone she knows.

As I drove down the road toward campus, I became increasingly indignant at the audacity of this 250 pound woman to pass judgement on ME because I dropped my sweetie off at work in the no parking zone.

My ire was exacerbated (remedial reading, indeed!) by the fact that NO WHERE on this stupid cheap-ass campus could I find a place to get a cup of coffee. After trying 3 coffee shops, I had to resort to walking all the way to Landru's. The woman who served me coffee is in my Dharma study group here in Athens. She asked me if I was going to our meeting tomorrow, which is in a different location than usual. I had totally forgotten about it. In fact I had totally forgotten about Dharma in my ranting and raving about stupid fat hill-billy women and dumb-ass OU coffee shops that are too cheap to stay open on a Saturday afternoon a week before Christmas.

I felt better after talking to her, and realized that the woman at the diamond mine curb must have issues to be so enraged over a parking sign, and that I really could have used the walk down to Landrus anyway since I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks. So all in all, things were okay. I realized that being upset over all that wasn't worth ruining the rest of my afternoon.

"The bun is in your mind!"

I have to go tutor, now.

Purges and Urges

It's been a few days since my last entry. Right now I'm in my office, and I'm finding that once again settings on my computer have been changed by the Computer Guru Wannabe in our department. All I asked him to do was to install Shockwave and set up Mulberry as the default mail application on Explorer. SIGH. It never ends.

The last week has been interesting, to say the least. My friend Mo and I are doing a "cleansing fast" this week, which consists of:

- Two days of raw foods only
- Three days of only broths, juices and water
- Two days of raw foods only

I'm on Day4, the 2nd day of the liquid diet. We built in a couple safeties, though, like yogurt on the raw food days, and bananas and avocados on the liquid food days, and I eat one bowl of organic oats and soy cereal (with cranberry juice instead of soy milk) every night for added protein. And of course there's the spirulina, colon blow, and multivitamin supplements.

The point? To purge the body of toxins, let the digestive system get a break and clean itself out. I have to say, aside from certain female ailments that result in cramps, I feel good. And not hungry. The hunger subsided after the 2nd day. I do get cravings between 6-9 p.m., which is usually the time I'd sit down with a pizza or eat a bag of popcorn. That 3-hour period is very difficult for me and for Bizarro, since he's been listening to my bitching and moaning. Poor guy! Now that I recognize the pattern, I think I'll try a couple of things to keep me distracted from my cravings and urges at that time.

I've been drinking cranberry and apple juices, and I made a fantastic vegetable broth, which I had the last of at today's lunch. I'll make some more when I get home, only this time I'm adding in beets.

This fast idea came from the book Prescription for Nutritional Healing, by Phyllis Balch and James Balch, M.D. Check it out!

Let's see, other than that, I started my tutoring this week. Cleaned the house. Sent out my pro sem questionnaire last Friday and have received four responses already. Started organizing leads and contacts for my NY job search. And bought the calender insert for my daytimer organizer. Not bad, not bad at all.

Oh, and of course last weekend I started going to the gym, which I've stopped for the fast. I started some cardio training (with the advice of my friend Mo, who's been working out the last couple of weeks with a trainer). Just 10 mins walking on the treadmill, 15 mins on the eliptical machine (all I can do right now) and another 5 minutes cooldown walk on the treadmill. Plus I've started playing ping pong again with my Chinese friend Ning. Trying to do stretches and some T'ai Chi while on the fast in place of the cardio, at least.

This weekend (Sat-Sun) I will be in Columbus visiting Mo and taking her to the Buddhist center up there. Next weekend is the retreat in Yellow Springs, so I'll be gone Fri-Sunday. I'm hoping to get together with Mr. Club and Kit next week. This week there's no point, since I can't eat or drink anything!
The fast will end Sunday night. I plan on going to O'Betty's for a Sally (a BLT hotdog). Woo hoo!! I'll prolly puke like the guy in Supersize Me after his first Big Mac meal. Bizarro rented it for me Tuesday night, to help me get over my cravings. It was a real eye opener, that's for sure! I'll never give my money to a fast food restaurant again.

Well I guess that about catches me up. Since I'm not in the office every day, I'm not on the computer either. My entries will be longer and less frequent.
But stay tuned for more madcap adventures!

It's in the dater

One of my profs is from Manchester, England, and with his dialect he says "dater" for "data". I just finished preparing my Pro Seminar proposal for him. Now the fun part begins - collecting the "dater" for analysis.

My earlier post was actually written on Monday at Bizarro's family home. I just cut and pasted. Yesterday was a fair drive home - no rain and not cold. We pulled into Athens with only a bit of time left before my appointment with the ENT guy. He thinks I have allergies (DUH) and I'll be tested for them next month. Plus he's doing a hearing test because of the problems I've had in my right ear.

But the sad news from yesterday is that the last remaining fishie was face-down in the gravel when we got in. I think I starved it to death. Even though I put one of those "weekend feeder" pellets in, it didn't really do the job. Anyway the lil' fish was pretty elderly and had been swimming funny of late. Poor dear. Well, I said a prayer and gave it its toilet-side funeral. Om mani padme hung.

Now all that remains is for me to calculate my class' grades (with Bizarro's help) and turn that in on Friday. Woo hoo!! A little late but not beyond the deadline.

Saturday night I'm hopefully going to a dinner party with some international student friends of mine. Tomorrow if all goes well we will hang out with our friends who now live in DC (she graduated from my program last spring). Friday night is open - perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Club will want to see Ocean's Twelve.

"Party time fun time yeah yeah yeah!!" Can anyone name that quote?

Missing In Action

It's been a couple weeks since my last entry. Finals and extreme stress resulted in
my usual once-a-quarter melt down. Went to the doc's and was treated for a sinus infection after being in searing pain for a week. I'm pretty damned sure that I have been suffering from allergies these past few months. I'm going to see an Ear/Nose/Throat guy on Tuesday to try to get this under control. Anyway, enough of my health report.

Started counseling again last week,too. Just sort of cleaning up residual ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES. Seriously, I realized a great deal of my stress was due to feeling anxious about getting a job next year. Not JUST getting a job, but getting the right job, in the right city, and also in a place where Bizarro can go to school and get his career game on. Anyway, so that's all under construction right now but it's good.

At present I'm watching Dr. Who with Bizarro. Man, I hadn't realized how low-budget
these shows actually were. We've been here in Cleveland since Friday night. Drove up in the rain on Friday, survived my first Filipino wedding on Saturday, bummed around yesterday and got some grading done. still have a lot more to do, not to mention my pro sem revision. Yipes.

My head is splitting after going to the eye doctor's and getting all kinds of fucked up drops. My eyes are fine and my prescription isn't much changed. Mr. and Mrs. Bizarro will get us new glasses in the Philippines when they go later this week. Imagine! Bizarro won't have big-lensed 80s glasses! I can't wait. I'm very psyched to get new glasses with sunglass shades that attach.

Well anyway, just wanted to write something instead of nothing. I'll write more later I guess. AFter the Dr. Who marathon and the earlyThanksgiving dinner we're having tonight. I've made gramma's cranberry relish. Mmmm.

My first time...

...to buy something on ebay! Last week I started looking on line for a SCSI zip drive for my ancient G3 PowerMac at home. I found a site that had a bunch going for $7 with a 30-day warrenty. So I got paid this week and decided to go back there and snatch one up. Except that I can't find the site anywhere! After looking around for close to an hour, I finally settled on looking at all the crap on ebay, which I usually avoid because it's overwhelming to me.

I found what I'm %99.9 sure is the zip drive I need, and it was going for $2.95. Since I didn't have an ebay account I had to set one up - with about 13 minutes left in the auction! So I managed to do that despite the fact that fucking hotmail wasn't loading pages and I had to hit the refresh buttom a million times to see each and every page. By the time I finished my ebay registration there was less than 2 minutes in the auction. I won by bidding a whopping $5.50. With S&H it's still less than $15 for the zip drive. Even if it's not the right thing that I needed, I'm only out $15.00.

One more step into the 21st century!

This kind of cheers me up after the election, I suppose. At this point we just have to make the best of what we've got, right? I've got a lot good in my life, even though my future in teaching ESL will be questionable under Dubbya's reign. *sigh* Here's to the 2008 election!

A sad day

I've been moping around all day because of the election results - particularly the smegging Ohio votes that aren't being counted. There's sort of a dark cloud around the Linguistics department today. It's like everyone is in mourning. In a way I guess we are. Mourning for the future of our country.

Not that I thought JK was great. He was, in my eyes, the lesser of two evils. Ah well. As Bizarro reminded me this morning, our lives are still good, and we are together. Together we'll make our futures, no matter who's president.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Spock

On this day, 52 years ago, my brother was born. He used to pretend like he was a Vulcan, with no emotions. What a crock. Anyway, he got over himself. He's a great older brother, even if he is a bit long-winded. And a Libertarian. But he's still my big bro and I love him dearly. He's a great cook, a natural landscaper, a bigger sci fi geek than me (I learned it from watching him!), and he's hilarious. I miss him (he's in Boston so I never see him). Ah well, happy birthday Mr. Spock.

Happy All Souls Day

I always got confused between All Souls Day and All Saints Day. I know that the RCC created them to assimilate all the pagans who celebrated Samhain (prononced " 'sow win"), which was Oct. 31 - the day were the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead was thinnest. Anyway, I remember going to Mass when I was a kid on All Saints or Souls Day or whatever, and realizing even back then that it was a thinly disguised attempt at "holifying" Halloween. heh. Smart kid.

Saturday I worked on that shoot, and in the evening I sat on my patio with candles lit, watching the Halloween partiers go by in all their costumed glory. It was fun. Very warm evening. After Bizarro came home we went to Mr. Club's and watched Night of the Living Dead (the original, that is). What a disturbing film. But it was nice to hang out with Mr. Club and Catwoman. Bizarro made the mistake of wearing his Chicago tshirt so we made lots of jokes at his exense. Heh. After that we just went home and went to bed.

I was feeling crummy yesterday due to unmentionable circumstances so I just stayed home and studied Chinese. Speaking which, I really did bomb that quiz on Friday (66). That's okay, she drops the lowest quiz grade. I just have to keep it together for one more quiz and a final exam. I think I can manage, but I'm unfortunately not going to be taking Chinese next quarter. It's too much on top of pro sem and teaching (and my other class, which is an internship). I'm still wrangling the schedule for next quarter, though, and I'm a little peeved at the internship director (let's call him Mr. Bean). If I do a 4 credit internship that's like 12 hours a week, and Bean wants me to keep a "journal" to recount exactly how I'm spending those 12 hours. Smeg head.

Anyway, it's been a prett good day for a Monday. Just about time to head home and get some dinner. This morning I finished my IRB form and delivered it to the Research Compliance office. Yay me.

welp I guess that's it for my exciting life, for now.

It's that time again... to Fall over.


I know that's not the official ditty, but it's how I remember to set my clock back in the fall and ahead in the spring. So tomorrow night we'll all lose an hour sleep and sunlight. Poop.

Today was strange, actually. I woke up early to work on my friend's movie shoot. I worked from 8-4 for her, and instead of being a production P.A. I ended up on craft service. Craft service means providing food for the cast and crew. I spent 1.5 hours cooking pasta in my kitchen for her shoot this afternoon. The DP was great, professional and a nice guy. The gaffer was an asshole, the AD had his knickers in such a twist I thought he was going to spin off and drill a hole in the ceiling with his pointy little head at any moment. we started out on location one of those freaking mansions outside A-town (near the country club, natch). They were just about set up for the first exterior shot when it started raining. AFter it kept coming down, my friend, the writer/director, decided to move the entire scene back to the OTHER location and change it to an interior.

Usually interiors (INT) and exteriors (EXT) are never the actual same place. So that means the exterior shots would be edited to look as if they belonged to all the interior shots (the outside and inside of the same building).

Anyway, so we all packed up our shit (no mean feat, when you have a 17' grip truck full of equipment). We went back to her house (which she's been using for all the INT shots, and man is her house trashed after this week). I basically ended up standing around a lot, then sort of found myself a niche wrangling the cord for the dolly grip. The dolly is a platform on wheels upon which the camera, monitor and DP or camera operator ride for a smooth tracking (moving) shot. The dolly grip is the person who pushes/pulls the dolly. The cord wrangler is the person who makes sure the cords don't get tangled and that there's enough slack, etc. We had gone through a couple rehearsals, and all of a sudden the producer (who my friend has nicknamed "bag of goo" because of his ineptitude) pulls me off that and gives the lame excuse that the PA who's a T-Comm major was supposed to be doing that "That's why he's here." Fuck that shit! That's why I was there, too!

So then he had something else in mind for me -- craft service. My friend had already told me how he'd been stuck with it all week 'cause he found no one to do it. So that's where I came in. Saved his ass, I did. Fed the crew, I did. He was all kinds of smarmy and thanking me profusely. Chump.

Anyway, I left the set at 4:00, which I told my friend I had to do cause I got shit ta DO.

I did meet a very cool Script Super, who's a Chinese American lady. Her name is Belle. I'd like to meet her again one day. I could almost see myself getting back into the game, doing her job...

But then there's all the ego and bullshit of that industry that I am SO OVER. And I'm happy with my job as a teacher/linguist/independent doc maker/writer. I'm proud of my friend for making her dream come true. I'm glad I got to be a small part of it.

The real downside to the day was that I was on my feet all day. Right now I am in a lot of pain - my feet and legs. I decided to walk to campus to at least pretend to do some work and get online. Of course tonight is A-Town's infamous Halloween street party, where people from all over the state gather to make merry and mayhem. Even as I was walking here at 4 in the afternoon, the porch parties were in full swing. So anyway, after that walk I don't know if I can handle walking home, but Bizarro doesn't get out until 10. Yipes. Maybe I'm stuck here?

Hopefully we'll got to Mr. Club's later, that is if bizarro is up to it after working all day. We'll see.

Recently we've been watching Red Dwarf on video (rescued from Bizarro's homestead last week). Really great stuff for letting your brain relax.

Hell's bells. I better get out of here before it gets dark and all the creeps come out.

ADDENDUM

Where the hell is this post? It's in my "Edit Posts" and I published but it's not showing up?!?!

Why can't it just be easy???

Not much time before Chinese class but I want to rant and rave about the fact that even after I spent all morning slaving away and getting a million different things done INCLUDING procuring a site liscense copy of Office XP for Bizarro's new laptop, I couldn't even manage to eat lunch without hassle. I only had about 25 minutes to order and eat, and after I got my order and sat down outside in the lovely sunshine, a horde of bees decended upon me. There were in my food, in my face, and eventually one of the stupid fuckers went into my prized bottle of Arizona Green Tea -- that stuff flies off the shelf at the Oasis and there was ONE bottle left. I had about three sips of it before the stupid-ass "gee this smells like a flower" bee took a nose dive. So I managed to pack up my lunch without any bee carcasses and high-tailed back to the office.

I'm in shitty mood now, having wolfed down my spicy hummus plate (with NOTHING TO DRINK) and now have to go to Chinese class.

I am hyper aware of the fact that Queen Bee (ahhhh maybe THAT's the connection) prolly got my letter today.

Bright and sunny

This title fairly well describes my disposition today. Got up at a reasonable hour, although I was still quite sleepy for some reason. Biked over to open meditation at the Dharma Study Group (DharmaSue and her hubby run that), then had a quick bike ride around the neighborhood just to get some exercise and soak up some sunshine.

Came home, ate kimchi and rice, took a shower and headed to school. I was supposed to crew for my friend who's making a short film this week, but she said she didn't really need me. So I'm "on call" but I'm hoping she doesn't end up needing me 'cause I have a bit of work to do today. But I will be crewing for her all day next Sat., which is when she really needs me. So I think it all works out.

Stayed home all day yesterday except for to drive home my friend Yumi, who came over to watch a movie. We had wanted to watch a Korean movie "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring" but the damned OU library didn't bother to check what Region this Korean DVD was, so we couldn't play it. We ended up watching a video copy of "Sliding Doors" which she had never seen.

These days I'm all about Indian films. Unfortuantely they are hard to find here in Athens. Mira Nair is my current idol in terms of filmmaking.

Welp, gotta get to work. More later, perhaps.

Done Deal

Today hasn't been the best of days. Lots of general annoyances, not the least of which was that the letter for Queen Bee was on a disk that no computer would read. I ended up typing it again (luckly I had a printout of two drafts ago). But it's signed, sealed and will be delivered to her doorstep prolly in a day or two. I spoke with Lama Kathy at length the other night about keeping myself clean in this whole mess, and also taking care of my own well-being. I don't know if there will be a backlash from that letter, but if so I am prepared. I've written a note to myself and attached it to my journal (the notebook, not the on line one) so that I can remind myself why it was appropriate and necessary to send the letter. Now I just want to move on.

Don't know if Mr. Club has heard from Bizarro who was supposed to call this morning and ask about getting together this evening. Hm.

This computer was down all day as the comp. tech guy installed Mac OSX. yay! I can read chinese characters, now!

Well I need to get outta here. Bizarro should be out of the diamond mines by now. His phone's acting up lately, I can't seem to get through to him.

Maybe, perhaps, yes!

Today's title is from an old song by Kraftwork, which was a German electronica band of the 70s and early 80s.

I was having a good morning but then everything came to a screeching halt when I realized I'd ONCE AGAIN left my freaking lunch in the car. I managed to remember to pack my lunch but then on my way out of the car I simply spaced. I hate it when I do that!!!!! AND I left my wallet home because I had it out last night and didn't put it back into my bag. SO I called Bizarro and of course he didn't answer. I guessed he was in the liberry and found him with the earphones jammed into his head, listening to (guess what). Arrgh! But all's well that ends well. He's buying me lunch. :D

I have to study Chinese now. I'm really behind and feeling crummy about it.

Feet don't fail me now!

This morning I went to my doc. about the pain I've been having in my feet, and also my plegm-o-matic sinuses. He dignosed me with Plantar's Faciitis, which is when the muscles in the bottom of the feet contract and pull where they attach to the heel. He said it isn't a severe case, and gave me some stretches to do. He also advised that when i'm not wearing my "good" shoes (i.e. the $113 Naots which I bought last month - they really have lessened the pain) I should wear a heel cup and arch support in my shoes/boots. For the parade-o-plegm he gave me some nasal sprays. Yippee.

So all is well with my 36 year old slightly beat up body.

Last night Bizarro and I were looking at our guest list - the one for the ideal reception that hopefully his parents might chip in for if we're lucky. So far 53 people, not counting anyone his family would want to invite (which is prolly all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc).

My Lama from the Buddhist center (Sangha) called me last night to talk about Queen Bee, but she called from a private number which didn't show up on my cell phone. I thought it was a telemarketer so I let it go to VM. DOH! So hopefully she'll call back tonight. Although I'm pretty happy with the letter I have ready to send, I really want Lama's advice on this (esp. since Queen Bee was once a member of the Sangha).

It's Wed., which is my soft day. No Chinese class, no OPIE class. Thank gawd. I can get some work done this afternoon.

Oh, remember the wealthy friend of mine/ours who lives across the road? The one who once upon a time felt our friendship was "one sided"? (What is it with people who don't realize how fucked up a person's life is in grad school???). Anyway, she's shooting her short film in the next week and I've agreed to be a PA for a day or two. It'll be so cool, to be back in that world for a couple days.

And speaking of grad school and work to be done...

Addendum-de-dum-dum

My most loathesome class this quarter - Pedagogical Grammar - just became more loathesome. Here we are, the end of Week 7 of the quarter, and the instructor tells us that we have a final project in place of a final exam. The final project is a huge-ass research project that will culminate either in a 20-30 page paper, or some kind of presentation in class. This is basically a pro-sem, which we are given an entire year to accomplish as a requirement for graduating. One of our elite squad memebers went to the graduate chair and complained, and 20 minutes later the graduate chair was in the office of the department director. This instructor is gonna get an ass-whuppin' (but he's Indonesian, and with the rather sizable and visible Selot (sp?) community in this tiny town, I'm not sure who'll be getting the ass-whuppin). Oh how I love departmental intrigue!

Tuna on Wheat

That's my lunch today. Plus a bag of Munchies and some Arizona Green Tea. Mmmm.

Managed to get through this morning even though we got up really late and I knew I had to squeeze in a lot of work before Chinese class at 1:00 (I have about 15 minutes left of lunch).

Last night Bizarro and I stayed up until the wee hours penning (or pencilling, as it were) a letter to Queen Bee up in Columbus (as she will now be known - not to be confused with Sue Bee, which I shall rename as DharmaSue for clarity. Damn all this anonymity anyway!).

Bizarro was so very sweet and helpful, staying up with me and giving me very constructive feedback on how to phrase exactly what I meant, avoiding inflamatory language, etc. So I'm going to sit on the letter for a couple of days, look at it again tomorrow, and perhaps send it out on Friday or Thursday. If I send it Thursday she'll get it on Sat. probably. If I send it Friday she'll likely get it next Monday. Does that even matter? Maybe not. But I have to accept that if I send the letter, which is honest and lays it out pretty clearly, she may decide to dump the friendship entirely, rather than take the hiatus I suggest so that we can both figure out what we want out of this friendship. And as DharmaSue reminded me the other day, whatever response she may have is NOT my responsibility.

In analyzing myself throughout this experience, I have come to the conclusion that my own karmic lesson with all of this is perhaps to relieve myself of being so goddam responsible for other people's feelings all the time. By doing this, I have swallowed my own feelings / needs and often just end up feeling resentful, often to the point of just walking away. This extends beyond friendship into the work place. I can't tell you how many jobs I went through back when I was just trying to eek a living, before I had a calling or a goal. One job after another in which I sucked down abuse and incompetence, until finally I just reached a breaking point and quit the job. After a few of those on the ole' resume it starts to look fishy.

Anyway, I continue to pray that both QueenBee and myself get out of this situation what we need to, in terms of the friendship but more importantly in terms of lessons that are here.

Now I have to snark down my sammich and get to class.

Karma or just a bad connection?

So Bizarro and I went to Columbus on Saturday to hear Bardor Rinpoche speak. It was marvelous - a packed house and both he and the translator, Lama Yeshe, were in a good mood. The Friday before I had ridden up with a friend of mine from Athens to hear the public talk, which was full of levity and yet very poignant.

But Saturday's vibe was brought to a screeching halt when we went to visit this friend of mine. Suffice it to say that I'm ready to call it quits with this woman who seems SO needy, SO self-oriented and so completely unaware. I do care about what is going on with her, but I also have to care about my own sanity in the sense that I've given way too much to this person. So at this point I'm not questioning IF I need to end the relationship, but HOW. Do I send a well-crafted letter explaining it to her? Or do I just walk away from it and maybe try talking to her in a few weeks (at which point she'll be pissed because I haven't called her lately - I've already been accused of being "absent" when I got busy with grad school and didn't call for a couple weeks). It seems no matter what I do, it's never enough or good enough for her. *shrug*

In other news, I'm carrying a 96 average in my Chinese class. Hooray for me! I'm trying to figure out what to take next quarter but it's all FUBAR'd because the department has a few classes in conflict next quarter, so the schedule is up in the air. I have found a possible job opp at Syrause University's English Language Program for next year, so I feel strongly that having a class in teaching college writing would be good for me. Plus I love to write (although you'd never know it given that I've written nothing but papers for the last year and a half).

Anyway, gotta grab a coffee and head to class.

Slicker than snot

This describes the inside of my nose and the back of my throat pretty well after having what seems like the flu for the last week.

Today I am feeling human again, finally. I taught my class this morning and am going to take a make-up quiz in Chinese on Monday since I only had one class this week and am totally not ready for it today. This evening I am riding up to Columbus with my friend Su-Bee to meet with BTR. Tomorrow Bizarro has off, so depending upon how we're both feeling we'll maybe do something interesting.

For now it's safe to say that I'm feeling much better, save for the constant phlegm parade in my head. *sigh*

Over the River and Through the Trees...

I'm feeling better today, although still coughing and sneezing and wheezing. I seem to be over the fever, at least. Managed to get up and teach my 8 a.m. class.

I have a working theory about my on-going sick - that is that my immune system got trashed in China and so I'm just really weak and vulnerable to viruses and allergens here. Honestly, I don't know what else it can be. Although I've been somewhat stressed, I'm not NEARLY as stressed as I was last year at this time. I don't think my worries about the future are helping any, though. I'm just going to try to get back to focusing on the present and not worrying about the future. I just don't want to be blindsided by the future when all of a sudden the future is NOW and I'm still basking in the glow of "I graduated with this degree, ain't I swell?"

In any case, I am feeling a little more at ease today. If I can get this cold whipped and boost my immune system I'll be doing ok.

Last night talked to Lin, my T'ai Chi instructor from 10 years ago. She's in California these days. It was great to hear her voice and know that she's still doing her thing.

Welp, gotta grab some eats and hit the Language Lab for Chinese.

Addendum - 12:50 p.m.

If anyone knows of a good decongestant, whether herbal or otherwise, please let me know! My ears feel like I'm flying in a depressurized airplane.

On another note, I've realized recently that I have let quite a few friendships lapse into non-communicative states. This past Sunday was the former friend in Boston's birthday, and I guess thinking about that as an upcoming event made me realize that instead of pining for her, I should be resurrecting other friendships with people who have meant a great deal to me along the way. I contacted my other childhood friend, Kev, who also lives in the Boston area, and had a good chat with him. I'll invite him and his wife to our wedding reception, if such an event should take place. I also got in touch with my former Tae Kwon Do teacher from undergrad, who I've sort of kept in touch with sporadically over the years. He'll also be invited to said reception, and also his son who I used to practice with way back when he was a lil' whipper snapper with a mohawk. On Sat. I sent a note to the parents of a good friend of mine from the undergrad TKD days, a guy who I hung out with just as friends until he moved out of state and got married. He was a good friend to me - one of the few guys who could just be friends without sexual tension or other weirdnesses. He was instrumental in my early training in TKD, so I have a lot to be thankful to him for.

All this is to say that I am turning toward the relationships that have been positive and supportive, and mutually beneficial, and turning away from those which have either harmed me or have drained me and left me feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. Those are few in number, to be honest, but I intend to put my energies where they are most likely to be appreciated in a positive way, not a needy or manipulative way.

And now I must go to Chinese class. Zaijian!

Why so blue?

Other than the fact that it's Monday, I don't know why I'm feeling so down. Well okay, actually I've been sliding downhill every since Bizarro and this rents made up. Maybe like the anti-climax that is the day after Christmas? Anyway, I'm also sick again... or still... It's been a good 5 weeks of upper-respiratory misery. I had pretty much gotten (gotten? is that even a word) over my cold from LAST week and then yesterday I went rummaging around in my closet, pulling out a defunct sewing machine, a couple of tattered Halloween wind socks, and a big afghan that my mom mades years ago. well SOMETHING in that goddamn closet made my eyes practically swell shut and my throat felt like someone had taken freshly shorn wool and rubbed it all over my tonsils (I am allergic to wool). The afghan is NOT made of wool - it's totally man made fibers and I've used it for years without trouble. So that resulted in me being miserable for the rest of the day, and waking up this morning with a bona fide sore throat, severe congestion, headache, fatigue and etc etc etc etc.

It's like I have a severe allergic reaction to something and my immune system goes straight to hell in a handbasket and I manifest whatever virus has been beating down my door. Since Bizarro was sick at the END of last week, I assume this is his disease (same symptoms).

FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK. I am so sick of being sick!!! I have so much work to do and it's bad enough that my attitude has been in the crapper for the last two weeks, my body is following suit. I don't know what to do.

I'm gonna see my D.O. next week and he'll probably try to get me on some hippy-dippy homeopathic. The bun is in your mind!.

Yeah, right. Well I gotta get back to work. Maybe I'll go to the Hudson Stealth Clinic.

Mid Term Madness

In about 2 hours and 20 minutes I'll be taking my Chinese mid-term. So this entry will be short cause I gotta cram.

Gave my class their mid term in-class writing today. I have a ton of work to do for that class. About half of the class shouldn't even be in there - they still need more work on basic writing and even speaking skills. The other half who are ready for the level of composition work we're doing will be bored if I slow things down too much. Oy.

Yesterday gave a smashingly successful initial presentation for my pro sem proposal. Now I have to write the damned thing and fill out the tedious IRB forms. IRB is a joke for linguistic research. Anyway, I have to jump through this hoop so I'm just gonna get it done as soon as possible.

I'm really hoping Bizarro can get time off at T'giving for us to go to his parents' house. But then there's also Christmas, so god knows how he's gonna get time off for that too. I freaking hate retail !!!

Anyway, I need food and gotta study. One last thing - watched Monsoon Wedding last night for a break. I love that flick! I wanna see more Mira Nair movies!

Mind tinking!

Regarding Bizarro's blow up in the car yesterday (for a full account visit his blog)... recently (as in the past year or two) I've been thinking a lot about the Buddhist concept of reality vs. perceived reality. Ego has a lot to do with how we perceive reality. We think and feel in terms of how a situation or person impacts our righteous selves. We often see things in terms of "how am I getting fucked here?" Gawd only knows I do this all the damn time -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to I.O.U. (my new name for O.U.) as you might have noticed.

But the point is... how can I, how can anyone, get a grip on this instant reaction of "how am I getting fucked here?" I don't want to be the eternal victim always overreacting to every little thing, thinking that the entire world is nothin' but assholes, pricks, bitches and shit heads. That is no way to live. That is no way to be at peace with oneself or the world.

Neither do I want to be rolled over and taken advantage of, however. So what's a girl to do? Well I've been doing this Buddhist meditation thing for awhile, and though I'm lazy at putting aside time to "sit" as well call it, I have found that watching my mind and allowing my mind to come to rest does in fact allow me to remain calm in the face of potential anger-induced ego-puffing. So maybe I only get mad at the dirty dishes once in a week instead of 5 times. Or maybe I only get in a snit about IOU once a day instead of 5 times a day. I know that if I were to practice more, to sit more often, my mind would continue to become more tame.

This creates a sense of confidence -- as I (tried to ) describe to Bizarro yesterday in the car yesterday after his steering wheel-pounding-obscenity-screaming-overreaction-defending scene, it's better to radiate a sense of "you can't fuck with me" rather than a sense of "you don't wanna fuck with me." Being in that state of peace of mind allows a person to better handle situations as they arise, including setting boundaries, and not having to defend anything to anyone. But it also means that only a small fraction of the shit that would normally get your goat will have any effect on you.

At any rate, this is what I'm striving for in my own life, because I have my own anger issues. Maybe similar to Bizarro, I often felt powerless and was at the mercy of others' tempers and bad manners when I was a kid. As an adult I was left with a feeling of needing to be uber-critical of the entire world around me (as well as myself) thereby putting a lot of ridiculous expectations up there to be knocked down time after time. Gradually this resulted in me feeling like there was something wrong with ME. When in fact, the only thing wrong was my perception of the world and the people in it. Of course people do stupid shit, of course people are ignorant... but I also try to separate the things people do from the people themselves. This gets into karma and actions, and the innate Buddha nature of all beings... but that's another discussion for another day.

I struggle everyday with perfectionism - and this causes a lot of frustration and anger that I must find ways of dealing with. So far the only thing I have discovered that even comes close to working for me is shinay meditation.

And on that note... I have to do some work on my pro seminar paper.

Just another manic Tuesday

Yesterday I was feeling ill with a cold, stayed home half the day. Today feeling a little better in the morning but by 12:30 I was hittin the skids again. Practically fell asleep in Chinese class - not because I was bored but because I felt like shite. Afterward, went up to the 6th floor of the library and found myself a little settee upon which to nap for 20-25 minutes. Feeling somewhat refreshed, sat in my Research Methods class with a cup o Joe and took copious notes about Unaccusative verbs.

I have a shitload of work this week. Taking lots of Cold -Eeze and Advil Cold to get me through. Thank gawd I don't have to teach at 8 a.m. tomorrow. I can sleep in and hopefully be feeling spry for afternoon class and lots of work to be done.

Tonight I want to watch the movie Osama. Bizarro brought it home for me yesterday but by the time he got home it was already 10 and I couldn't stay up so late. We watched Chris Rock and I fell asleep on the couch (after doing copious amounts of grading student work and Chinese homework).

I really hope we can visit Mr. and Mrs. Bizarro (aka Bmom and Bdad -- she said to call them mom and dad!!) at Thanksgiving time. I want to meet Bizarro's sister, (I'll call her R&B - yes it stands for something but I won't get into that now).

Had the opportunity to chat on-line with the Bulgarian teacher who graduated from my program last year, who was in China with me this past summer. I also got a note from ScarfGirl, the teacher I bonded with so well over there. All in all, I'm missing my daze there - being a student sucks rocks!

Last night had to bring my plants in off the patio - it was cold enough for frost! Tonight too, it will be cold. This morning we fired up the brazier for the first time this season. I hate the cold. Why the frick are we moving to Upstate NY again???

Bizarro's on his way over here as I write this. Gotta gather my things for the evening and get outta Dodge.

Annyong Haseyo!

Today's title is Korean for Hello! (polite form). Last night our movie was a Korean flick called "My Sassy Girl" (I highly recommend it BTW) and it totally made me miss Korea. I really think of Ulsan, Korea as my second home. It's not much bigger than Columbus but it holds so much for me. Today, I tried emailing my Korean friend who was my roommate for awhile, but her inbox is apparently full so it bounce. I also emailed a Canadian teacher friend of mine who was my good buddy while I was over there (she's now in Seoul) but HER freaking inbox is full too.

Anyway, the news of the week is, of course, that I met Bizarro's parents in a very unplanned and stressful scenario. All's well that ends well, however. Their reunion with Bizarro (after 2 years of being estranged) was very moving, and they seem to love me (quite a feat after his last girfriend, apparently). I think they are adorable and very funny. Even in the short time we spent together, I started seeing all kinds of things that clearly explained certain -isms of Bizarro. For instance, Bizarro always insists on parking in the nearest possible parking space, even if it means driving around the parking lot and wasting time when we could have already walked there and been inside. His dad did this same thing outside the Bob Evans. Two spots were 3 spots away from each other, and his wife suggested the one closest to us. But no, he had to swerve the car to get the one closest to the door. I looked at Bizarro in that moment and he wore this triumphant "SEE?" expression on his face. It was hilarious. I look forward to many more of those moments.

So now this huge healing has taken place and our lives are forever changed. Bizarro's whole countenence his lightened, his mood has shifted. I realize now with its absence, there was a dark gloom that always seemed to hover. We're hoping his folks send us to the Philippines for our honeymoon, and then we can jaunt over to Korea for a few days. We'll see!

After the debacle which was yesterday, today is going along ok. Did some laundry and will bring home work to do so I can take a day off from Gordy Hall. I have papers to grade and stuff to write for classes, not to mention Chinese to study. Bizarro reminded me that financial woes aren't so bad when there's two of us to tackle the problem, and I feel better about things. Mostly I was pissed at myself because I had chosen a payroll option (more or less) and forgotten the consequences. Ah well...

Welp, I've about chomped through an hour and 20 on this here computer, so it's high time I get my buns in gear and get some work done.

Happy belated Chinese National Day (Oct. 1)!!

Poop on a stick

Man how time flies! I've forgotten everything about blogging. Ah well.

Today royally sucked ass. Everything I tried to do ended up with a stinky smell all too reminiscant of dog poo poo. Culminating with the opening of my pay stub from OU, which was $200 short of what it oughta be. Long story short, OU changed their blah blah deal with your financial aid and billing procedures this year. Everything was done on line, I didn't even sign a contract for my T.A. position. Apprently I clicked on something that said fees and insurance would be deducted from my paycheck instead of out of student loans.... which explains the surprise $522 overage refund that showed up in the middle of the month. That money is now GONE because I just figured it was OU screwing up, not realizing it was actually student loan money that was refunded because those fees would be deducted from my pay. So now I'm fucked.

And instead of wallowing at home with a good book or something, I'm here at school because I'm an officer of the LSOU (department student group) and I helped organize a movie night. Which starts in 20 mins. I'll get the movie going and then I'm out of here.

So much stupid shit today on top of this - crapped all over a Chinese quiz, drove out to see a friend (the one who lives near Mr. Club) only to be stood up, had a terrible class this morning (I teach at 8 a.m. this quarter) and had to buy the fixins' for the movie night (popcorn and cider) at the Diamond Mine-- where of course it's the 1st of the month so everyone in the county was there at 5:30 buying groceries. Went through Bizarro's line. Poor guy. He could tell I was upset. Couldn't tell him the whole story so I just said "OU strikes again." FUCKERS!

I should be feeling happy and relieved after meeting his parents this week. But today I just feel like I wanna put my foot through a wall. I really do love his folks. Their reunion was very moving, and I am very happy for Bizarro, who kept saying all day on Wednesday "I have a family again!"

Well I gotta start popping the corn I guess. Blarg.

I'm back after a couple months with the Jade Monkey and her Adventures. China was everything and nothing like I thought it would be.

At this point we're on vacation at Ma's house, in the city where Mark Twain is buried. After a rough trip getting here - we thought we'd be bobo and take the scenic route which then added a good 3 hours to the trip complete with poorly marked routes and detours - we have settled into a relaxing, inspiring week in Upstate NY.

Yesterday we went to Ithaca and enjoyed the fine weather, vibes, a great hair cut for Bizarro.

(NOTE: For some reason I saved this as a draft and then never posted it. So here it is.)

I can't believe it - in two days I'll be en route to the People's Republic of China!
While I am of course excited, I also dread the thought of 6 weeks away from Bizarro, my dearest friend and partner for life. sigh

This past week has been frenetic with getting lesson plans finished, visiting people and trying to spend quality time with Bizarro. I was able to go out for a drink with that friend who'd given me a hard time last week, and actually we had a good visit. Of course, Bizarro thinks it's just a lull in the storm, and as soon as I step one toenail over the line (whatever line she's drawn in her head), I'll be in the doghouse again. Maybe, maybe not. But for now I'm content and don't have to worry about it, as long as we remember to get my land-lady's paper while they're all on vacation.

Wednesday night our friends from school came over and we watched Barbershop 2. It was fun (the movie and hanging out), but also kind of sad 'cause they're moving to D.C. at the end of the summer, so they'll be gone when I get back from China. The woman, Kay, was my office mate this year and she was a good friend to me. Her husband, who is from Chile, got along with Bizarro very well. We will miss them.

On Thursday we went to a dinner hosted by my Japanese students from Spring quarter. They cooked up a wonderful meal and we had a good time. Sometimes it can be awkward since their English is limited as far as party conversation, and of course we speak no Japanese (except thank you and hello). But because they'd been my students it was relaxed and enjoyable. They liked meeting my fiance, too, I think.

After we left the dinner party, we headed over to Mr. Club and Catwoman's house for some Cranium (girls won, AGAIN). Mr. Club made me a mean strawberry rum drink, and he just about killed himself and Bizarro with those nasty-ass gin martinis. Bizarro was VERY hungover the next day, and I was a bit so myself, which sucked for my last day of tutoring. Anyway, after lunch on Friday, Bizarro and I spent a lovely afternoon in a paddle boat at the local state park (although, we had to escape the hunt of the Geesen). It's a beautiful area up there, I'm sure if I was going to be around this summer I'd be spending more time around the lake.

Friday night was... hm... what did we do? I think we just hung out at the apartment. mmm...why can't I remember? He must've slipped me some rufies in my ice water again, dammit.

Yesterday was all about finishing work for Wuhan, and then I picked Bizarro up just in time to watch the lame-o fireworks from the parking lot of the Diamond Factory. Bizarro had a running analogy of the fireworks and bad sex...where the fireworks are really lame (impotent) and then maybe at the half-way through there's a little burst (when the guy is thinking of someone else)... and then of course the 3 second finale.
So yeah, it was pretty sad, especially having grown up near Boston, where fireworks on the 4th of July are serious business. Not just IN Boston on the Charles River, but in the suburbs, like Abington where we used to go. Kick-ass fireworks shows with finales that last 4-5 minutes. Ah...those were the days. When we got home last night we started a game of Scrabble but I was too wiped to finish, so we hit the hay.

This morning I lolled around with my lil' cramps while Bizarro beat me at that Scrabble game, followed by a 2nd game which we haven't finished (but I'm ahead). He's working now and after I pick him up tonight we have to come to my office and record a movie review -- the last part of my Listening materials for Wuhan. Hopefully we'll finish the Scrabble game and I can try to stay up late, to get myself half-way to being on "China time" (13 hours ahead, same as Korea). That means I'll have to take a nap this afternoon, which believe me won't be hard!

My plan for tomorrow is to sleep late, stay home and relax all day. My friend S.E. will pick me up for T'ai Chi around 6:00, and then after that I'm going to try to get to sleep early. We have to get up around 3:00 a.m. to be on the road by 3:30, in order to be at the airport by 5:15 (2 hours before my flight leaves at 7:15). YIPES!!

I won't have internet access in China until we get to the University, which won't be for a couple days after landing in Beijing. We'll be staying in Beijing, seeing the Great Wall, Forbidden City, and the Summer Palace, and then taking a train to Wuhan on Friday night. Maybe over next weekend I'll have the first chance to email and blog. phew! Perhaps I should get an international phone card so I can call Don and Mom after I arrive in Beijing... hmm.

I am really getting excited for this trip, and meeting all the new people over there. This has been a lifelong dream of mine - going to China. Many years ago I had a dream of being on a train and seeing the Chinese countryside going by. Looks like it will become a reality soon enough!

I expect that the teachers will bond tightly (I've already started on email) and that we'll be a good support for each other over there. As I've said before, I'm dreading the super-heated oven weather. But hey, I'll have Air Con in my room, whereas here we only have windows and fans at home now! So maybe I'll be more comfortable (though without my Bizarro to snuggle, I will be lonely at night). <:(

Next time, I'll be in China. Wow!

by the way, I just took Bizarro's "which kung fu star are you" quiz and it turns out that I'm Jackie Chan. Could be worse - coulda been Van Damme.

I like Jackie Chan, especially in the old days when his hair was longer and flailed around more.

I should've been Bruce Lee, though. YEAH doesn't everyone say that??

I have been commanded to post something, so here I am.

It's been a long fucking stupid week. Last night was nice - mr. club and his wife catwoman met us at Landru's (drink coffee...it is the will of Landru...you are not of the body!!..Lawgiver!!!!) and from a lively talk about our favorite childhood TV shows we went to T-Bones for a drink (I had Jameson's straight up...mmm... warmth...). Then they came over and sat on our deck while Bizarro scarfed pizza and I bitched and moaned about a situation with one of my friends that cropped up this week - the same friend that Bizarro goes on about her connections with college deans and local bobos.

In short, she's been dropping nasty hints about me not inviting her to my dinky apartment and when I finally cornered her on why she's been being a bitch to me, it came out that we've had a "one-sided" relationship because she's always being generous and I haven't (apparently) been reciprocating. Now, usually I'm not accustomed to using a ledger sheet to determine the value of a friendshp but apparently that's her style. What a Republican thing to do!! Anyway, so I tried to kindly remind her of all the times she blew me off when we had made plans but apparently that didn't register in her otherwise long memory. So basically I apologzied and we agreed to move on from here - my suggestion was that we BOTH - meaning SHE as well as myself - try to be better and making and keeping our dates and that I'd make an effort not to be so scatterbrained about following through with things I promise to do.

See, the thing is... (heh)... seriously, I am usually way too over-taxed with things to do and people to see. I suck at multi-tasking. During the school year, I don't see ANY of my friends very often, so why she should get special treatment is ... well... it's because she's helped me in getting the apartment and she also loaned me money (which as been paid back in full since last fucking november). So I guess that means I owe her my first born?

I often feel very stressed out about being stretched too thin between my classes, teaching, and other personal reaponsibilites. If I don't write something down, I forget it 2 seconds after i've agreed to do it. it's just part of my charm, so people are gonna have to fuckin' GET USED TO IT!!.

In other news, I'm working hard on my lesson plans for China. I did send another letter to Korea, this time to Daegu University, but I've heard nothing so it looks like I'll be applying to teach in Taiwan in 2005. well, at least I'll be able to study some kick-ass T'ai Chi there. And it'll be easy to take Chinese at school in the fall (there are no Korean classes so I'd have to cobble together an accaptable language-program). Plus, I've never been to Taiwan so it'll be cool. Most importantly, they have hot springs there so I can indulge in the public baths the way I did in Korea. Bizarro can come too and we can have a BIG AMERICAN PAHHHTY!!!.

Anyway, it's time I'm outta here. Gotta pick up Bizarro at 10:00 from the diamond factory. Mr. Club - hope you're happy now!!

photo hosting

Okay I'm back. I realize it's a been awhile and my most recent posts have been quick and sloppy with not a whole lot of human interest.

On being engaged....
It's a feeling every girl dreams of and yearns for. In my case, I had pretty much considered myself a single-for-the-rest-of-my-life-and-that's-okay kind of woman. Then I met Bizarro through his website while I was in Korea, and after he met me at the airport, well...that was that! Being engaged, as cool as it is, really hasn't changed anything. Just an official statement to the world, really. The ring itself is loaded with history and sentimental importance, coming from my mother who had it set with diamonds from her wedding and engagement rings after dad passed away. That is the coolest part, really, feeling part of my family tradition, even if we aren't going to have a traditional wedding.

On going to China...
A dream come true! Despite all the stupid shit and poor pedagogy, I am thrilled at this opportunity to travel to China, with (almost) all expenses paid. And because it's only for 6 weeks, I'm hoping that everything that is bad will not seem so bad. Everything that is good will seem better. The only downside, of course, is being away from Bizarro for 6 weeks. That part's gonna suck rocks. Really. A lot.

Okay, NOW I really have to go eat.

The quarter is over, I've begun tutoring and working on my lesson plans for China. And still debating what to do for Fulbright.

I sent a letter to EPIK (English Program In Korea) to ask about possible sponsorship for my Fulbright proposal and they had not idea what I was talking about. They thought I was trying to contact Fulbright and sent back an apologetic email saying "we're sorry to inform you that you have reached the wrong party..." Sooooo I wrote back and tried to explain that in fact I had reached the right party, etc. etc. etc. A week later I wrote again to confirm receipt of my letter and follow up, and so far no response. I'll give them til the end of the week then I'll contact a university in Korea for my project. If I can't get any bites by the end of June I'll be applying for a teaching assistantship in Taiwan instead.

The job in Wuhan becomes increasingly stressful each week. Today - JUST today - our coordinator bothered to finally tell us what immunizations we need. I called the health department on my own to find out basically all I need is a Hep A shot. What sucks is that Hep A actually comes in two parts, with a month between. But she said that the first one is 95% effective and that I should get it at least two weeks before leaving. So that means it has to be this week. Wednesday Bizarro and I are going up to Columbus to stay with some friends, so on the way I'll juststop off at Lancaster and get my Hep A. $25 for the shot, and a $20 "administrative fee".

Tutoring my Korean student is as difficult as it was back in December. She's trying to take the TSE and has been for about a year - with poor results each time. She insists on studying "For" the test (a damned hard thing to for standardized tests of spoken English) instead of working on her English skills. If she'd spent the last year working on pronunciation and learning more natural American English expressions, she'd be in much better shape for her test on July 10. Oy vey. At least I'm getting paid. Not well, but better than nothing. And this time she's paying me for whatever work I bring home. That's a good thing, because last time I did a shitload of prep work at home and making sample tests for her to practice with and I got paid only for the time I spent in her home.

Anyway, so all is going as well as I expected thus far. It's so great not to have classes and be crammed with work. Yay!

Saturday night we had a little soiree for my friends from school to say good bye to those going back to their home countries etc. Only a few people showed up, which was fine. It made me clean my house so now I don't have to worry about cleaning! Unfortuantely, one of my guests walked through the screen door to the patio and completely knocked it off the tracks. So now it only sorta kinda works. Coulda been worse tho, the screen could have been ripped out of the frame and we'd really be screwed. She felt bad, too, poor thing. Embarrassed as hell, as you can imagine. All night everyone kept getting confused by the presence of a screen in that door because it wasn't very visible. I dunno.

Well it's time for me to get my snack on and my drink on. It's 2:10 and I haven't eaten anything but breakfast and a couple cookies at my tutee's house. La la la...

A day for blogging...

Yesterday was special, in more ways than one. First, it was my father's birthday. Remembering my dad on his birthday is a more important way to remember him than by the date of his death, I think. It's more joyful, which is how I remember him alive.

Don didn't know it was dad's birthday when he decided to propose to me yesterday, however. This was something I told him later in the day, and although I suspected and hoped that last night was THE night for popping the question, I didn't quite know what to expect.

As it turned out, I was (am) still sick and our plans to see Harry Potter were thwarted. We tried to go to Yun Palace (his idea, formed around a plan to propose outside the restaurant, unbeknownst to me) but it was 9:35 already and they closed at 10:00. We tried to go to th new Japanese restaurant in town but they were closed. We ended up at "BDubs" and watched Friday Night Fights while scarfing wings. From there we rented a movie and all the while he was making noises about "going out" after the movie, or whatever, without me. By the time we got home, I was thoroughly bummed out and feeling pouty. So there I was, moping around, sitting on the edge of the bed, and he came over... and after explaining what he had hoped to do for a proposal earlier in the day... asked me to marry him and pulled the ring out of his pocket. *sigh*

I'm in la-la-land today, and it ain't just the Tussin DM I'm taking for my cough!
Finally.. engaged and knowing for sure that this one is THE ONE and I have no more worries about being alone or mistreated ever again.

I have quite a packed summer coming up, but with this ring... I feel a new fount of inspiration...

And now it's back to work with me...